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September 2019

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2 min read

If I am your friend and I make known my earnest needs to you, will you put your best foot forward in ensuring they are met?

How about this… If I were on my death bed and I said the things I wanted to follow after my death, my deathbed wishes, will you be kind enough to ensure they are met?

A lot of us will say a big ‘YES‘ to the second question and the first maybe 3 out of 10 persons will concede, although not likely.

So I’m thinking, perhaps death is an open sesame to get certain things done among the living?

I have a friend whose aunt died from childbirth complications. On her death bed, she said tons of things she wanted to be done after she’s gone. One very striking was this…

Wait! need I add that the baby survived. She instructed that her baby be groomed in the village. This is a woman who prior to death groomed her other kids in the city together with her husband, so what then is her intention?

Well as expected, the order is being executed as I write.

If she were alive and made such a decision for her baby, would there be no one to kick against it? Of course, tons of individuals will do. If she said she felt so strongly in her heart to do so, no one will believe. I for one will tag her ‘evil’ towards her child.

deathbed wishes
A man cannot be more than what he was alive when dead

What makes the difference now that she is dead? Why do we take the words of a dying man strongly than the one who is alive?

Are there some things a dying man is privileged to see at his last hour that makes us obey his decisions? Or are we just unnecessarily scared of the unknown?

Someone is on their death bed and makes a list of how their burial rites should go, how they will love to be dressed in their coffin and a whole bunch of other stuff and you see family members running helter-skelter to ensure they are met. 

READ ALSO: THE DEATH BED FALLACY BY RIKARD A. HJORT

Has it ever occurred to you that they might have been speaking from a point of paranoia or mere wishful sayings? In my opinion, a man cannot be more than what he was alive, when dead. If you will revolt their wishes when alive, then you shouldn’t be afraid to do so when they are gone. 

I’m not sure it’s that deep, our fears are just engulfed around our heads. We have been subliminally subjected to show more respect to the things we cannot understand, the fears of the unknown, and that’s fine.

3 min read

“You’re not a failure, you are not trash, you are not cold, you are not a bitch, you are not ugly, you are not disgusting…you deserve to be loved, you deserve to be free… I want out! I want out! Forgive yourself, Annalise! I forgive you, I forgive you!” Annalise knew punching the pillow was not going to make her feel better, not even for a sec, yet with so much rage brewing she kept punching the pillow, affirming those words. She is broken, the more she tries to feel better, the more she becomes worse. Torture and rage-filled her whole being.

This is a woman severely straining her emotions to make her problems go away, but No! They follow her everywhere she goes.

The first scene of How To Get Away With Murder season 6 episode one, comes with a blissful aura, I felt like I was in an Elysium with the characters until I heard “Stoooooop!”Annalise screamed…oops! I mean Karen. What’s with the new name Mrs. Keating?

Unbeknownst to the viewers, Annalise had a relapse following Laurels disappearance and she couldn’t risk the District Attorneys finding out, hence a change of name at the rehab.

I knew Annalise couldn’t have stayed so long in rehab just as seen in previous seasons where she loathed any situation that made her vulnerable (like the sessions with Isaac Roa and the series of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings) and also could never be away for too long from her ‘non-blooded dysfunctional family’.

Although fully aware that affirming positive words while in Rehab did not make her feel better, Annalise would kill for Asher, Connor, Oliver, and Michaela to say them too. Why would Annalise do that? I bet she felt providing them restoration would provide her a fraction of peace at least. But the reverse was the case when Asher beckoned her to tell Mikela the truth about her birth parents.

So unfortunate, Michaela who was reluctant to do so initially had started to feel better after the whole mantra of whipping the pillow with a tool looking like a golf club. Now she’s shocked and immediately confronts Annalise and threatens to kill her if it’s actually true.

how to get away with murder
The moment Micheala found out

Suddenly there was blood splatter on my screen and the golf club like tool ascending with blood dripping from it. And the biggest shocker, a scene of Annalise’s burial ceremony…“Could Peter Nowalk be joking with me?” A rhetoric question I had to ask myself.

Wait! Who killed Annalise?  Michaela? I know she had threatened but could she have done that. She might have to owe to the fact that she’s been on a futile search for her birth parents and the one person who owed her the truth hid it from her.

Fans have argued that Annalise cannot be dead so early in the season especially knowing that she’s the center of all the havoc and mysteries in the series. Also compared to the previous seasons where Peter Nowalk pitches the story from a futuristic angle and then later fuses the present with the future. Whatever be the case, Annalise died and this is not some imaginative death scene like she practiced in Rehab. Ooo, wait a sec! what if it was a plot? these guys can do anything to escape the FBI innit?

3 min read

In a world where the good ones are almost extinct and everyone seems to be looking out for themselves, it’s hard to tell that a good person is actually ‘good‘. 

Paranoia keeps getting in the way; ‘Perhaps she’s faking it’, ‘He feels to good to be true, maybe he’s just after my knowing what the cherry tastes like’, ‘Is it not ladies? she’s just after securing the bag and a ring’... and the adjectives keep going on and on.

But are these really our fears? Maybe they make up a fraction of it but what gets the largest share? 

It’s cringing worthy for most of us when we notice a certain ‘somebody’ trying too hard to get close to us. We would nag the hell out of our friends, narrating how this ‘somebody’ calls us at every point of the day, how they meet our needs without hesitation, how they care too much, most importantly how we are fed up of their recurrent goodwill. It’s very appalling, isn’t it? we cannot point out why something good gets us really irritated.

In my head yesterday, I was reminiscing on the really good ones I have met and what went wrong. I realized they fizzled away, they just happened to not be there anymore. It wasn’t that they got tired of being nice, it was because subliminally my entire being became very resistant to all their dose of kindness.

Like the saying ‘You can’t give what you don’t have’, this was different, I wasn’t giving and was also resistant to receive. I realized that we cannot enjoy fully what we can’t give. You might think that you are having a grasp of enjoyment to the detriment of another but your conscience will keep pricking you at every opportunity until you let go.

good people
Not just scared that they might be faking it, but more scared that they are real.

Niceness should not be a culture shock but unfortunately, that’s what it has become. That we have been taught there are no good ones on earth except they want something is not enough reason to fight it when it graces our way.

The truth is we are scared. Not just scared that they might be faking it, but more scared that they are real. In fact, we accept they are real but yet push them away because their niceness is a threat to who we are.

READ: Why do people say that “good people don’t last”?

“How can a person be selfless, are you Jesus?” this is me trying to talk the nice ones I’ve met out of it. I give them every reason why they cannot be good or at least be a mixture. I tell them how I suck at loving just so they leave me the hell alone and when they don’t, I fuel my un-niceness towards them.

I don’t know about you, but the actual truth and what makes up the largest share of my fears is that I know I cannot be as good to them as they are to me. I prefer that they remain at bay now that it’s early before they ask a measure of love I cannot proffer.

I pressure it’s the truth for all of us, we may not know it or refuse to accept it but subliminally this makes up a larger part of our fears in dealing with good people.

 

< 1 min read
How To Get Away With Murder as we all know is a heavyweight of mysteries and plot twists cutting across every scene of it.
Although taking very quick steps, season 6 episode one of the series gave rise to six nerve-racking questions:
1) Where is Laurel and Baby Christopher?
2) Whose side is Tegan Price really on?
3) What will the mystery key unlock?
4) What is Vivian Maddox up to?
5) What is Michaela real family’s history?
6) Who killed Annalise?
Get ready! We will be dissecting each of of the questions in subsequent posts. Make sure you follow through.
< 1 min read

The sixth ‘final’ season of ‘How to Get Away with Murder’ will be debuting your screens tomorrow, September 26 with its very first episode. And guess what! We will be doing subsequent reviews on each episodes as they come.

The Last season which was produced by Peter Nowalk left fans traumatized over the whereabouts of Laurel (Karla Souza), who abruptly goes missing at the final scene of season 5, in the presence of Annalise Keating (Viola Davis) who expressed so much paranoia and was left with no option than to scream her name the umpteenth time.

While some fans are of the opinion that Laurel staged her disappearance, others presume that the Mexican might not be in a safe haven.

The official thriller of season 6 is a fusion of all the murders and pandemonium that had occurred in the previous seasons. Briefly giving an insight of what the viewers should look forward to. The thriller showed Connor Walsh (Jack Falahee) with blood splattered all over his clothes and a weapon, very likely another murder must have occurred…after all its ‘How to Get Away With Murder’ isn’t it? It also showed a casket making its way six feet with Annalise, Laurel, and Emmett Crawford seen as visible attendees.

So here’s the Big one! About the review, our email mutteringminds@gmail.com  will be open to receive subsequent reviews on each episode of the finale, from Mutterers across the world. It’s exciting right! 

All you have to do is send your reviews to our mail on the episodes as they are released every Thursday (#TGIT), starting tomorrow. Ensure to include your full names but if you would like to remain anonymous, it’s fine. 

2 min read
We all have different ways we handle social media display of affection; I’m talking lovers this time.
Some enjoy and yearn continuously for a full show of social media love, some are apathetic towards the need, then the others, a little here and a little there is just fine.
In more than half of the relationships that exist, it is usually the lady that desires the show off like ‘yo nigga put me up, show the world’. For the menfolk, It takes a while time for them to want it but in the long run, they get comfortable and begin to enjoy it.
Daily, lovers have disagreements about each others manner of ‘profession’ and social media is mostly is the benchmark for measurement.  I’ve had several friends cry to me about not getting social media validation from their significant other…‘I’m not sure he loves me because he’s never put my picture up on any of his social media accounts’.
social media display of affection
A sign of love or overcompensation?
Yes! a little truth might be found in context but is social media display of affection the only way we can attest a person’s love for us? Some have resolved to play the game of ‘Post me, I Post you’, it is only when their lovers put them up that they do same.
Let me say this; If you feel the need strongly to recognize that special someone on social media, do so. You don’t have to checkmate if they feel it too, all that matters is what you’re feeling. Some lovers don’t even post themselves on social media except on special occasions like birthdays and I pressure it’s a subliminal agreement, it wasn’t like they sat down to talk about it, they just saw it unfold that way. There’s no doubt that the crave for social media affirmation hits either of them sometimes, but they hold back cause apparently it has never happened before. No one wants to be the one starting it up, right! Lol, so many lover shenanigans innit? 😃
Social Media display of affection should not be a yardstick to measure real love; it is a pixel and we ought to focus more on the bigger picture. If a person loves you and treats you right then viola! You are good to go. I even read somewhere that the major reason for social media validation is insecurity, and I concur. If social media validation matters so much to you then you are definitely insecure.
Well for me I’m apathetic. Social media display of affection has never mattered and I hope it doesn’t begin to matter someday 😂😂. If you gonna put me up, the words to follow better be good mehn, and I don’t mean some indifferent distorted kinda good… I mean pretty pretty goooood! 😉
< 1 min read
Yesterday I met an old buddy inside the bus I boarded. He was sitting behind me and signaled to get my attention.
I was all smiles and kinda happy to meet him, who would have thought anyways but like they say it’s a small world. Because of the position he sat, we were not able to discuss. So I asked him his alight stop and further destination, Coincidentally it was the same as mine so I thought definitely we would have enough catching up to do.
While I was hoping we would board the next bus together, you won’t believe that as soon as we got to our first stop, this nigga came down and started a walking race. I couldn’t even get his attention, it looked like he was fleeing from me so I wouldn’t even border calling him.
blast from the past
How disappointed I looked
All the while I kept asking myself, was it that he forgot we were supposed to have a little chat and board the other bus together or maybe he frankly skipped. It’s been a long time we met I thought he should be excited you know but the reverse was the case. Maybe he forgot actually, he probably had a lot going on in his mind so a blast from the past shouldn’t matter right? Mutterers what do you say?
3 min read

“Hello Uju, I will be coming for a sleepover at your house next week on Friday, I hope you don’t mind?”

 Do you know that there’s more to every visit than meets the eye? Visitors have no idea the number of puddles and seas we cross just to make sure they have a comfortable stay at our place. 

The moment you say you are going to pay me a visit at a certain time, I begin to count down like it’s a judgment day. That’s when everything wrong with my crib comes to my conscious and surely I have to fix them…if not all but at least the key stuff before you arrive.

Immediately I think of my torn bedsheets, ideally, I wouldn’t mind using them for the next five years but oops! Bursted!😬 you’re coming around and you leave me with no choice than to lay the new one I have saved in my box for years now, and if there’s none, I hurry to the market for a new one😳.

 I make sure the whole house is sparkling. Every Nook and cranny my broom hasn’t visited in donkey’s years, they must get there today😝!

 Now, what’s on our Item 7…”Sandra prefers turkey to beef and yeah she loves plantain too” I begin to think about all the variety of food you might like. Now it’s operation ‘Stuck up the whole kitchen to meet up with Sandra’s taste bud lol’. 😂

And then Sandra shows up! “Hmmm this house is so sparkling, I’m in love already”. I can bet she said that in her mind😕…lol

Of course, visitors have no idea the amount of preparation we do just so they have a swell time at our place. They perhaps think it’s always rosy like we have just displayed for them.

 

visitor
How I clean tirelessly when expecting a visitor…

You might not reserve any piece of meat for your own meal, but the visitor has two on their plate. Your bathroom frankly is not all the time clean, but mehn! these visitors provoke our reserved neatness, don’t they?

A visitor is coming, that’s when we remember to change our towels just in case they have to borrow it. That’s when we decide to eat meals the economy hasn’t let us enjoy in a while. ‘Visitor is coming! Visitor is coming’...Perhaps we should rebuild another house lol😂.

Why am I saying this? I beg you if you visit someone and perhaps their home is not up to your taste, I need you to know that these people gave it their best shot because trust me they were aware of your coming or didn’t you call😮?

Imagine how bad it would have been if no one was paying a visit huh? Appreciate how you are welcomed in any home you pay a visit no matter how poor it might have appeared. Don’t go about telling tales about the tap water you were served or whatever bullshit…it probably was their last but hey, they had to reserve it for you OK!

And to you who have developed the habit of paying subsequent visits because your first was like paradise on earth, clap for yourself! You like good things yeah 😂😂. When they ‘see you finish’, better not come crying, just humbly take the bathroom brush and begin to wash it yourself because you can’t have them cleaning the whole time…rubbish😂😂!

2 min read

We know quite a number of people who at some point in their lives had a burning desire for certain qualities or drive especially Christianity, but now it is so unapparent in them.

An example; Do you know anyone who was seemingly a dedicated Christian in your eyes but has now turned a rebel against the church? We wonder what happened.

Characteristics/behavioral patterns have a way of rubbing in on different individuals. To some it comes in so strong, to another, it is mild(a little here and a little there).

As humans we admire certain characters in individuals, some of which we wish we could possess and so we work towards it, this is the case of many Christians.

 A person who longs for closure with God can fall in love with the outward behavior of a Christian devotee they admire. Instead of developing their own unique style in knowing God, they take up the culture of mimicking the prayer patterns, church routines, mode of dressing and even mannerisms of the so-called ‘Christian’ they admire.

If you are just meeting this person for the first time, you will automatically think it’s their true character. Meanwhile, their own default character has been suppressed for this to reign, hoping that one day they get it right. In the long run, they either succeed in getting it right or go back to their default behavior.

I read a post on Instagram a few days ago about the height of hypocrisy in the church. I came across a striking comment from a lady. She said hypocrisy is the reason why she stopped attending church despite being a dedicated usher for three years. It is absurd to agree that hypocrisy took her away from the church. A big lie. She never had a strong footing with the church in the first place.

Fallen Christians
Fake it till you make it or fake it till you can’t take it any longer phase

If hypocrisy was evident in her church, shouldn’t her love for God sustain her or at least make her change church instead of quitting completely? She is unarguably one of those very consistent churchgoers but then ambivalent at heart. She only tried to look the part all those years, hoping to become like it someday and when it didn’t work at the estimated time, she found a trigger and clenched unto it; an excuse to pamper her long preconceived deviation.

 We shouldn’t freak out when we see a deviation in character from an individual. That individual has been battling so hard to take a stand just like the lady in question. We all go through the ‘Fake it till you make it or fake it till you can’t take it any longer phase’. It takes a  lot of hard work to be consistent in character.

If you truly have a stand on something, nothing can change that for you; you can only evolve in it. Having a stand is a belief system that keeps us going. Someone can battle with taking a stand for years, you see them and think they actually got it but it’s only a facade…when they deviate, do not question, just remember that they are the ‘fallen Christians‘.

2 min read
Why is it that we are never completely over our previous workplaces?
When I was a youth corper I worked in a firm whose identity I wouldn’t wanna disclose. Fortunately or unfortunately(I can’t really say) I wasn’t retained after my one year of service but that didn’t make me cut communications with the staff especially one of them whom I genuinely tag a friend.
Often I talk with her over the phone to be abreast on her personal life but most importantly work. She does same too. Now here’s what happens during the call…I realize that 85% of what we always talk about is my former workplace where she still works.
It’s always ‘Babe what’s up? How’s work? What happened today… I heard blah blah blah’  It feels more like her work stories interest me more than she who is a staff.
Whenever she says she has a certain gist(gossip) for me concerning something that happened at work, it excites me so much that I always do not want it to wait.
I realize that I haven’t moved on from the job and the people in it despite it not being a place I would have loved to start my career.
This happens to everyone too. I mean people who got sacked from their place of work, people whose contract got terminated or elapsed and even the ones who willingly resigned from their jobs…they keep the calls coming, always wanting to be abreast. A few do so for mere curiosity but most for harbored bitterness…the management hurt them in ways as they say.
workplaces
Why do we keep the calls coming?
Even the ones who claim they are in a better place keep up with the calls, most times trying to convince those who still work there to leave. Sometimes they even get sad when they learn that something good happened with the company. They feel since they no longer work there the company deserves all the setbacks in the universe.
All the time I wonder, Why we keep checking!  Why are we most excited about the hiccups of workplaces we’ve worked in the past? Could it be a part of the human makeup to be naturally drawn to the things that should not matter?  Or maybe it’s really hard to let go of certain history or think them in a favorable light.
A friend of mine jokingly described it as withdrawal syndrome…perhaps he is right! what do you attribute as the cause(s)?