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October 2019

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2 min read

By now everyone should have seen the Joker Movie, and if you haven’t, you have heard of it.

It’s a wonderful movie, wonderful acting, perfect storyline but there is something scary that this movie poses on society.

While this movie perfectly shows what happens when society abandons and is downright hateful towards a person it seems like it enables destructive behaviour, I’m not saying that’s what the movie does or intended to do but still, remember when the movie 13 Reasons Why first came out, there was a girl that killed herself and left 13 tapes or letter just like the movie. 

The Joker Movie depicts the effect of society cruelty perfectly but doesn’t help people navigate through it, because people are always going to be mean, hateful and despicable and saying people need to be nicer is naive, people should be nicer,but there are always going to be asshole so making people feel like being a public menace as a means of retaliation to the society is just naive and stupid because there is no glory in death, no celebration, the world is hard enough on people that are different, it’s worse on those who are menace because nobody cares about your side of the story, the world will come for your head and bury your spirit in the dirt.

READ: JOKER EVOKES THE TRUE CAUSES OF VIOLENCE AND GROUP ANGER IN THE SOCIETY 

People need to work on themselves, there is always someone that loves you (there is always somebody) and most of the time they’re not the people we want affirmation from. But focus on those people and things you love, block out the negativity and negative people, Joker is only cool in the movie but not in real life.

 

Note: This review was written by Banji Coker, owner and publishing editor of FibbsKulture 

< 1 min read

As we know, ASAP is an abbreviation for ‘As Soon As Possible’. In my opinion, a lot of us use it in context wrongly.

The word ‘Possible’ does not connote ‘immediately’ or ‘Fast Fast’ but instead connotes ‘convenience’. 

You sent me a text saying you needed a response ‘ASAP’, Do not expect that I send it immediately except it is possible for me at the time

READ: IF MURDER WAS LEGAL FOR A DAY

ASAP
What does ASAP mean to you?

For example; “Hi Doris, kindly send me the names of clients ASAP”

ASAP in context there means ‘As soon as it is possible for Doris’. It doesn’t mean Doris must get it done immediately…but if she is chanced why not.

If you need a favor done immediately then you should use an appropriate choice of word instead of ‘ASAP’. 

Well, this is just my opinion but you are welcome!

2 min read

Imagine having a day set aside for murder to be legal. A day that comes once in maybe five or ten years, when you are allowed to kill anyone for the atrocities they committed against you without going to jail for it… What would you purge for? 

So guys, I just rewatched The Purge: Anarchy, a 2014 American action horror film written and directed by James DeMonaco, have you watched it before? The storyline follows a future dystopian America, where all crime is made legal once a year. On that day, you can decide to be anything, breach any law or kill a person or more who must have offended you in the past no matter how flimsy.

Having watched again, I thought to myself, ‘What if this storyline becomes a reality?’ what will I purge for? Will there be someone out there anticipating to kill me for some reason? What would prompt me to kill a man on a day like this? Perhaps I might remember the silliest of things they had done against me. I probably would find the tailor who made away with my fabric to kill him, but what if he appears more hungry than I am and kills me first. Need I remind you, on a day like this, everyone has their guard up and is willing to kill anyone who smells like a threat. It’s kill or be killed! 


Maybe I will just pitch my kill around that lecturer who kept failing me in his course… after all, he’s an old man, I might just have the upper hand. But wait! How on earth did I manage to graduate after all those Fssss😂… Just kidding, I never failed a course in college. Ooo, wait! Do you think I am lying through my teeth?

For real mehn! a purge had better not take place in this world because, in as much as it will be gross, it will be hilarious too😀. Imagine someone killing you because your big mouth has refused to stop gossiping about them, or You snatched their boo 😂, or funny enough you refused to lend them your pen at the bank😂😂😂, or they simply kill you because you have a pungent mouth odor and they cannot bear anymore😂.

How funny! I bet a Purge happening, in reality, will mean total cleansing, God will have to recreate Mankind again because ain’t nobody gonna survive that sh**!

So like I asked earlier, what would you purge for? Remember if you say ‘nothing’, another man might just make you his purge!

 

 

 

2 min read

We always have this set of people in our lives if not for anything are always there to compliment us. 

There’s nothing we do that could go wrong in their eyes. Once they see us, they are either gushing over how we are dressed, our body shape, or they bombard us with so many questions just to hear us talk. Not only that they think so highly of us, they equally see us as their friends. Sometimes their compliments can be tiring but they make us smile anyway. 

A LIST OF 100 COMPLIMENTS YOU CAN GIVE RIGHT NOW

This set of people can be found living in your street or most times make up the fraction of domestic staff, office secretary, coworker, friendly neighbor…definitely not a close party but have access to talk with you at the bare minimum.  They see you and the next thing is “I like your hair”, “Madam I like this your cloth o”, “Wow you look so beautiful today.”, “You look tired, have you eaten today?”… so much concern you sometimes wonder where he/she channels such guts from.

 compliments
Complements are like mini orgasms for your brain

READ: WHY HOARD A COMPLIMENT?

How do you give back such concerns? For me sometimes, I try as much as possible to ask them how they are doing too, I try to reciprocate the compliments even when I am not tickled. Let us take for example the cleaner at my workplace. There are times where she makes a new hair, wears a cool attire, etc. although it might not match my taste but considering her level, I make myself sensitive enough to know that it means a lot to her and so I should give her a compliment. Mehn! you should see the joy in her eyes whenever I do so lol😀. 

Truth is I try as much as possible to compliment anyone who compliments me, especially often. No matter how undermining their efforts may be to my taste,  I feel they merit. Also, knowing that It’s really difficult for most of us especially in this dispensation to air our admiration about a person’s outfit or what have you, it just makes more sense to give compliments to those who are cheerful in giving it.

So do you reciprocate compliments? 

2 min read

“Hey, Uju! please could you help close the meeting by leading us in prayer”

“AH! please I can’t pray! Oops! I mean my voice is not loud enough…Sorry! I don’t share prayer… I really don’t know how to pray…”😥😫😳

And there goes sprouting on and on a list of flimsy excuses.

Prayer phobia is the irrational fear of prayer and prayer related topics. The majority of us suffer from prayer phobia. 

So today I sat down to think about why most people suddenly become afraid when it’s time to pray in public, especially when they are assigned to lead. Funny enough the majority in this category are people who are bold enough to have any sort of conversation in public, so why is prayer an exemption? 

READ: 40 TOP BIBLE VERSES ABOUT PRAYER

 praying
Let’s invest some seconds in admiring the Praying Mantis

There is no special manual to become an exceptional prayer person. The act of Praying is not a skill to be mastered although it can be improved over time. Just like we have different traits (idiosyncrasies) that are unique to us, so is our prayer style.

Prayer and individuality go hand in hand. A lot of us are scared to pray simply because we know we cannot sound ( or act) like that preacher or brethren who we rate best at it. We have been subliminally made to believe that we ought to pitch our voices in certain ways when we pray and this is wrong. Who are you impressing? God? Man? 😒

READ: WAS IT A MIRACLE OR BY FORCE?

In my opinion, praying is unique to each individual. If you are a slow/mild talker and it is comfortable for you to pray that way, stick to it. Do not lose your style to meet certain yardsticks.

Also just like the way our mood changes due to certain factors, so is prayer. If you feel it deeply to be mild or loud, just flow according to your spirit.

READ: Thoughts and prayers: miracles, Christianity and praying for rain

You never know who you can touch with that prayer style of yours. There is really no better way to pray than to pray with entire sincerity. Taking up the identity of another man in prayer is a harmful shoe to put on. Just as God created us uniquely, I strongly believe he wants our service with him to be unique also. Imagine everyone behaves the same way when they relate with you, wouldn’t you be bored of life?

Be aware of who you are! Own who you are!

 

2 min read

First off, I think this is a great film. The 2019 American psychological thriller Joker which was directed by Todd Phillips and co-written by Scott Silver is one movie that makes you think deeply about society and some of the true causes of violence and group anger. This movie can be interpreted in many different ways and honestly can make you forget that it has anything to do with the superhero universe. It is gritty and realistic. Joaquin Phoenix the lead character gives an amazing performance, just as everyone has been raving.

Now, on to my actual thoughts and feelings. The first 3/4 of the movie or so is just incredibly sad. I was actually relieved when it started turning to senseless violence because it was a break from the sadness, even though you knew the violence stemmed from that abuse and pain shown in the earlier parts of the movie. My heart ached for this man’s mistreatment at the hands of others all his life, partly because I have also experienced abuse and trauma for much of my life.

MALEFICENT 2: LIGHT AND DARKNESS STRUCK A BALANCE

This movie brought to the surface many questions I have asked myself my entire life about accountability and assigning fault. In the Joker’s case, he has obvious mental health issues, seems to have suffered severe brain damage as a child, and would likely score sky-high on the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) test. The brain damage, trauma, and abuse together may have not allowed this man to have any other kind of ending than the tragic one we see.

Think of it this way, we know that trauma can dramatically change an adult’s personality (think of veterans with PTSD). We also know that brain damage as an adult can make a kind, loving person cruel and abusive (think of athletes who have suffered severe brain damage and underwent entire personality shifts). Now, imagine these things happening to the brain of a child while the child’s brain is still developing. Also, imagine that the child doesn’t get medical care for the injury or illness quickly as the athlete or veteran hopefully would, so there is no hope of minimizing damage or healing appropriately. How much damage can that do to the child’s brain and personality?


It also makes me think about family legacies where abuse, malignant personality disorders, and mental illness have reigned for generations (much like my own family and probably Joker’s from what little we can see in the film). I’m fairly positive that most of my “ill” family members developed their personality disorders in very early childhood as is believed to be the case in psychology. From childhood, they never developed empathy the way they should have. They never grew out of the petulance of the 2-3-year-old attitude. Although they seemed terrifying to me when I was a child, I almost feel sorry for them now because they are permanently stuck in immaturity.

I wish they showed empathy, but I ask myself how I can expect someone to show something that they have never had. How can I really ask them to be something they could not be even if they wanted to be? Some might think this way of thinking is defeatist, but I simply see it as realistic. It does help keep my hopes from getting too high only to be dashed yet again.

 

2 min read

As a fan of the prequel Maleficent, I was looking forward to the sequel, Maleficent: Mistress of Evil as I had a lot of expectations like seeing the ‘evil Maleficent’ cause havoc and destroy found happiness but it wasn’t as I envisaged. 

You know the constant underlying theme of Disney fairy tales where light wins over darkness, it wasn’t the case for Maleficent 2 as both light and darkness struck a balance in the character Maleficent. And that’s an entirely different side I think Disney fans have never seen before. 

A very glaring theme for me while watching from start to finish was a ‘Mothers love’. Kudos to the writer Linda Woolverton and the Director Joachim Rønning who aptly registered a strong reminder in the minds of the viewers the extent a mother could go for her child even if it meant sacrificing her own life.

The first scene was mind-boggling as it gave us a deep beautiful view of Maleficent’s kingdom which has now been passed down to Princess Aurora her god-daughter who apart from being deeply in love with Prince Phillip is soon to wed him. 

Maleficent a character played by talented American actor, Angelina Jolie isn’t in support of this but to secure the happiness of her daughter, she keeps her pride and anger aside and attends a dinner which she was invited to by the King and Queen.

At the dinner, we see her (Maleficent) making several efforts to ensure nothing goes south. But Queen Ingrith who is determined on creating a war between both kingdoms attempts to kill Maleficent but fails.  

Ingrith’s lust for power and authority drives her to a point where she doesn’t care who she pulls down including her family just to achieve her plan. Maleficent on perceiving the true intentions of the queen finds her own kind, the Moors, a sect who have been driven away from their homes and have been in hiding for decades. They join forces with Maleficent to take back what they’ve been deprived. 

I highly recommend Maleficent 2. Not just because it is highly captivating and has a thrilling content but also that it’s graphic/visual content is top-notch and the casts really did a good one.

Irrespective of the fact that as a full breed Nigerian, I looked forward to seeing so much of Chiwetel Ejiofor’s role and got just little of it, every other thing checks my list especially  Maleficent’s costumes which made her look beautiful, enticing and evil all at the same time.  

 

2 min read

I understand that it is annoying not to get a helping hand when we need it the most. Like we need someone to assist us with sweeping, cooking, cleaning etc. 

By default in every home, there is usually a division of labour where each member of the family is expected to be in charge of one chore or the other. As a result of this division, most family members have now made it a do or die affair…I mean it’s your work, and so you must do it!

READ: WHY I ENJOY SOLO SHOPPING

Our senses have become blind to the fact that a person cannot wield the same level of strength each day. Listen! A person can get tired, it shouldn’t be news. if a family member is having one of their tired (lazy) days, why not cover up for him/her by doing the chores? Why go about nagging that they cannot help you with one thing or the other? Truthfully most times it is not intended that they wanna be that way but they are genuinely tired and need a break from the norm. It’s sad that most of us cannot even tell when a member of our family is suffering a psychological setback, our only concern is that they maintain the characters they are known for. Really? 

chores
If you are sensitive enough to notice that an environment is dirty and needs cleaning, then get to work.

Asides the home, this mental conflict is also evident in other societal units. A scenario is finding a group of ladies in a place, mostly a gathering like a party, there’s always a subconscious tussle for who works the most! 

READ: THESE VISITORS HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE GO THROUGH

If you are sensitive enough to notice that an environment is dirty and needs cleaning, then get to work. Other ladies (people) don’t necessarily have to join you. If you must sweep the place, do not grumble your way through like saying “I have been working since morning and these ladies are gisting”…or is it an ‘eye-service’ event everyone must attend? It is better you start it up than grumble or insult others while at it. 

Chores should not be a yardstick for comparison. We don’t have to get angry that we have been working and another person seems so relaxed. Just like we preach financial independence, the same should go for carrying out chores. Train yourself to be independent so that if an individual is deficient in an area, you will be able to cover up for them without a grudge. Taking up chores should be more voluntary rather than a competition or imposition.

2 min read

I really enjoy solo shopping contrary to how most ladies like it. The normal ladies routine is usually…‘ Only when two or three ladies are gathered, shopping should take place’. Well, I am different and this is because I like what I like and you don’t try to change my mind for anything in the world😉.

I don’t appreciate that someone accompanies me to the market and tries to influence my decision about every single item I want to buy. ‘No don’t buy it! The seller is trying to rip you off so much money… It’s expensive here, let’s check another store’.

READ: DOES IT MATTER THE PRICE

*huge sigh* 😒😫 Like can you just let me be sis! This so far as I can remember is the umpteenth seller we have inquired on this same item. My legs are aching already. Besides the price is the same as I budgeted, why not let me do my thing huh?

shopping
Suggesting ain’t bad but don’t impose

I do not enjoy anyone taking up the role of my conscience when I intend to spoil myself silly. Do you know how much effort I put in to sedate this conscience of mine 😂😂?

Another is the issue of preference. Every lady seems to be a fashion expert nowadays.  l see a dress I love and you say “No! That’s not good enough”, in the most disparaging tone ever 😤. 

How do you even know what is good enough for me huh? If you hadn’t followed me and you saw me on this dress, I am 100% sure you will love it, so what makes it different now?

READ: FOUR WAYS TO BARGAIN

Bottom line! I enjoy shopping with me alone. If it’s on the high side and I can afford it, why not? If it’s my kind of cloth and I like it, why not? It saves me so much time you know, instead of having to walk about the whole market like one who’s on a missionary journey. 

Hey hey! Hollop! It’s not like I am against bargaining, I just believe there’s a limit to it okurrrrrr. 😊

2 min read

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN LOST IN THOUGHT BUT YOUR GAZE WAS FIXED ON SOMEBODY OR SOMETHING?

When I was in my third year at the University, a lady accosted me, asking to know why I was staring at her breast. That was one of the most awkward moments of my life. I was dumbstruck. I just stood still trying to fathom what she was insinuating. She was wearing a gown with a plunging neckline and parts of her breast were exposed but I had no idea I was staring at her.

I tried to explain to her that I wasn’t staring but my explanations fell on deaf ears and she created quite a scene.

gaze
That moment when your mind wanders through a thousand and one questions after you are accused wrongly.

A busty lady in the kind of dress she was wearing would definitely be the cynosure of all eyes but I didn’t stare at her.  What happened was that I had my eyes in a particular direction while a million thoughts raced through my mind. The direction I had my eyes was her breast.

READ: What do you call a person who is lost in his thoughts all the time? Is it normal?

I vehemently denied that I was staring at her boobs but those around attested to the fact she had politely told me to stop staring at her and that she only blew a fuse because I refused to avert my gaze. I just paid my bills( the drama ensued at an eatery) and left.

READ: I love you, No homo!

I don’t know if it only happens to me but there are days(happens once in a blue moon) when I would fix my eyes in a particular direction but I’d be completely oblivious of what is happening around me because I am lost in thoughts. Someone would greet me but I won’t respond because my mind is far away. Does anyone have the same experience or is it just me?