Ad
Ad
Ad
Archive

November 2019

Browsing
2 min read

Ain’t we all hypocrites?  Let us not stress it too much, most times when people want to relate with hypocrisy, it is always about our faith- how as a Christian or Muslim, you have faulted in ways that prove you to be one who has flaws, but let’s take a shift from the whole story to a reality that we choose not to talk about in the mundane Nigerian society. “Gays and Lesbians are humans, and some of them happen to be Nigerians too, how is it that we don’t hear about them as we hear about the LGBTQ community in America?” We are hypocrites!

Just recently, it became a criminal act under section 214 of the Criminal Code, that people of the same sex be found indulging in love related kinds of relationships. This is little compared to the Sharia law on LGBTQ.

While this might seem typical and normal to most of us, we should also know that this doesn’t mean that there are no homosexuals in the country, we just choose not to recognize them because of some beliefs that we have accepted over time.

homosexuals
When two people of the same sex agree to a date and love each other in sickness and in health, for better or worse, it becomes a union bound by consent.
READ: “I love you, no homo”

One fundamental aspect of the constitution of the country is the right to freedom of expression. It is the freedom of expression that allows a person to be able to make a choice of his or her own partner. For crying out loud, Nigeria is regarded as a secular country, and by default, what I accept as the right shouldn’t in any way affect you because we are relative beings with relative minds.

Personally, I feel that we have gone too far by making homosexuality a criminal offense, and the 14 years sentence is just the height of it. Let us think about it logically, when a person commits a crime, it is often said that such a person contravenes the rights of the generality of humans residing in a locality- in this case, Nigeria. How does one person being a lesbian or gay, make him a criminal to be likened to a killer or an Armed robber? This is no doubt the height of our hypocrisy.

READ:  Is Shame Always  a Factor

When two people of the same sex agree to a date and love each other in sickness and in health, for better or worse, it becomes a union bound by consent. It becomes a typical marriage that was entered into by right-thinking minds who are able to make decisions for themselves and for their future. However, when we take a stance against these people just because they are of the same sex, what does it say about us? Ain’t we all hypocrites? 

 

2 min read

Dear Mutterers, it gives me great pleasure to communicate with you all through this medium.  An occurrence has left me shocked for days now and it’s gotten me thinking about how we humans can be though.

So here’s the gist; my supposed “best friend” just gave birth and the funny thing is I had no idea she was even pregnant. So shocking right? Especially knowing we are best friends.

This is someone I grew up with and we’ve strong bonds, although a change of house location created a long-distance we still try to keep in touch and check up on one another often. 

READ: FRIENDSHIP IS A RUSE

On finding out she had given birth, I had to go through our chats to see if there were any loopholes I probably missed but it’s been back to back of enjoyable chats and checking up on one another and not once did she mention the word ‘Pregnancy’. Lest I forget, I got the news of her delivery via her brothers WhatsApp status. Oh my WOW! I looked so shocked and stupid at the same time. 

Some of you might begin to reason, maybe we had a fight or something, but hell No! Nothing of such. I held her in high esteem, I could swear she hadn’t popped her cherry yet. How can someone you love, trust and hold in high esteem do such to you, it then means such a person can hurt you right?

betrayal
Was it shame?
READ: WHEN THEY DONT TELL YOU

Yes, I am happy for her, I mean everyone is happy to receive the news of a newborn but sincerely I’m pained, this is a betrayal.  Pained especially because I had to reach out to her first and say congratulations and she just said “thank you” and locks up like nothing happened or I don’t deserve an explanation and then had the guts to ask when I will be paying her a visit.

Somehow I regret reaching out first only to get such nonchalant response. I should have just laid low and pretended like I saw nothing and wait for her to break the news herself anytime she felt. It’s all good though. It’s a cold world and like the singer, Popcaan said in his track ‘Silence’, “It’s so hard to trust your enemy at the same time, so hard to trust your friend”. Indeed the world is electric, anything can shock you.

READ: HAVE YOU MET THEIR OTHER CLOSE FRIENDS?

Maybe somewhere along the line, I went wrong.  Maybe she never regarded me as a best friend. Been asking myself too many questions, I feel so betrayed or was it the shame of giving birth out of wedlock that made her hide it? how do I solve this? Have you ever been betrayed by a loved one?

2 min read

I belong to a little group of sisters and one of us was recently proposed to by her long-time boyfriend. It’s a thing of joy yeah? Of course, we were all happy for her, especially knowing that society reckons it an icing on the cake for every lady.

A few moments later …“Thanks, **** for a new beginning”, my beloved friend had written on her social media page. I automatically got bemused. Why do women feel thankful to a man that proposes to them?

READ: 6 THINGS EVERY MAN WILL CONSIDER BEFORE PROPOSING

I began to relate it to my own man.  Apparently my man thinks he is doing me a favour by travelling down to Lagos before Connecting to Portharcourt where he stays. During one of our conversations, he said “I’m doing this because I love you. When a man loves a woman, he can go to any extent to prove his love”. Minutes later, I called and told him to change his flight plan and that I would want a man who would do things for us and not because he wants to prove anything…funny right?

READ: PROS AND CONS OF SINGLEHOOD

Love is commitment. Commitment, on the other hand, is an INTENTIONAL thing.  Nothing comes freely to a man, we are not natural doers but those who DO are those who make a conscious effort to growth and commitment.

when a man finds a wife

I know in this part of our world, women are taught to adore men like their Lord and personal saviour. But remember the Bible has that when a man finds a wife, he finds a good thing. Amid the cliches and religious sayings, can we women just wake up!!! Can we see above the stereotypical sayings and take hold of our lives?

No woman should feel thankful because a man proposed to her because in the long run and in the corner of the man’s heart, there is something in it for him. No man would choose a liability to be in charge of his future!

In my own opinion, If anyone would be thankful, it should be the man. After all, the woman has more to give. I shouldn’t be thankful to wanna add light to your life even if I am, I would rather bury such feeling in my closet.

READ: STUPID THINGS JUST TO GET HER ATTENTION

Beloved women, I know in this world of ours, we have to wait for a man to do justice to whatever, but can we at least protect our dignity and self-esteem? It’s all we’ve got. When all is gone and we are old and grey, that might be the only thing we can hold on to even up until our deathbeds. Can we at least die in peace???

 

This article  was written by Taiwo Omotesho, owner of @tash_props on Instagram 

3 min read

There are certain cultural practices peculiar to every tribe that would elicit a puzzled reaction from an outsider. 

For instance, in Tiv culture, it is customary for a husband to let his wife spend a night with his male guest. I don’t know if this culture is still practiced. In certain parts of Yoruba land, if someone farts, it is akin to them hurting themselves and if it is done in public, those around are supposed to console the farter ( I coined this word). Odd, right? An incident happened some years back that still leaves me wondering if an outsider would find certain cultural practices of my tribe repulsive.

When I was 10-years old, my friend, Abu, and I went to visit a mutual friend, Jamiu. The visit was occasioned by a football match we had agreed to play with kids from the next block. Jamiu, our star player, was conspicuously absent so our captain delegated two of us to go and fetch him.

READ: 10 bizarre practices around the world that will shock you

We went to Jamiu’s house and met them having lunch, Amala and stew made with chinge( termite). That was their delicacy so we weren’t surprised at the combo. They offered us food but we declined. We stated our mission and since he was almost done with his food, he told us to wait.

All of a sudden, we heard a thunderous sound. The walls vibrated and I can swear I felt an earth tremor. Guess where the sound emanated from? It came from Jamiu’s dad! The man unashamedly farted! No sooner had he farted than the entire family started saying, “Pele, Sir! Pele, Sir! Pele Sir! Pele, Sir!” In the Yoruba language “Pele” means “Sorry”.

An overpowering stench permeated the room. I was nauseous and I felt choked. It was as if I was in a gas chamber. While I was disgusted and beside myself with rage, Abu’s reaction was that of confusion, amusement, and disbelief. He started to giggle. When I saw him giggling, my disgust gave way to amusement and I almost burst into laughter but I managed to stifle it.

culture

Mama Jamiu looked at us angrily and said,” Won’t you say sorry? Don’t you have home training?” We said sorry to Baba Jamiu multiple times in quick succession. In fact, Abu and I tried to outdo each other in saying sorry, just to prove that we had home training.

READ: Why your home is not the Best

The smell that enveloped the room was suffocating. Just imagine the stench caused by the putrid smell of a carcass, the pungent smell of rotten eggs and stew made with termite. That was how bad the odor was and a miasma hung in the room until we left. If there were an infant in the room, I have no doubt that it would have choked to death.

READ: Dead Gaze! “Stop staring at my boobs”

In their culture, breaking wind, another word for farting, is seen as perfectly normal and nothing to be ashamed of. In another culture, it is mortifying and considered antisocial behavior.

Are there cultural practices peculiar to your tribe that you think an outsider would frown upon? Have your say in the comment section.

 

Note: This article was written by Aminu Darius, owner and publishing editor of Cevenade.com

2 min read

I do not believe that destinies are fixed. I like to believe that God did not write just one straight jacket story about a person, instead, he gave room for instances, thereby allowing us to make our beds ourselves.

I like to believe that when God created us, he designated multiple storylines (scripts) to each person. For certain, we were designed to outlive one of the scripts better than the others. That’s the main script. The main script is usually tagged a person’s destiny because it reflects at least 80% of our existence. It doesn’t mean that God didn’t make room for other scripts in our lives. I call them ‘minor scripts’.  They serve as the backdrops of our lives and although they portray themselves sometimes, they are not as in charge as the main script. 

READ: Seeking Forgiveness can be Exhausting

For example, myself.  I presume God gave me different professions to choose from. He never said I must become a writer, but made provisions for Plan B, C, D or even E to choose from.  I believe he wrote different stories about me in different professions, he must have written a doctor script, tailor script, engineer script, etc. 

Asides professions, he must have written one, two or three scripts about me in different families, schools, countries, with different friends, relationships, etc. 

Another instance… You must have heard several ‘death-escape testimonies’, especially in church. In my opinion, they could have died but for the multiple scripts written. God could have written for instance… PLAN A “If Sandra’s journey is delayed by her sister, she won’t be met by an accident”.

PLAN B- “If she’s strong-headed and refuses to be delayed, she will get caught up in it”So you see, its a two-way street.

Image result for confusion

A person is bemused about the right turn to take in their career because they have been living two or more scripts about the same rate.  If you doubt this then how come some people get perplexed about choosing the right career? If we were destined by God to follow through a certain path, then there should be no such thing as confusion. Some people actually don’t know where to pitch their tents because they got more than one talent like Writing, Tailoring, Graphics design, etc. Why  didn’t God give just a talent each? Why do we have to try multiple times before we know where we fit in? 

Sometimes we are confused because we are yet to decide which of the scripts to put in the forefront.

READ: There are Greater sins

But amid all scripts, God definitely has a favourite, little wonder when we pray for his direction he manifests himself, opening our eyes to what he wants. 

I don’t know if you relate? It was awkward writing this. This is one of the many weird thoughts that go on in my head. Have you thought about this before? Share with me in the comment section.

 

2 min read

I woke up to the heartbreaking news of a girl called Lizzy, she claimed she was introduced to drugs by her ex-boyfriend.

While I was trying to wrap my head around the story, what alarmed me was the reaction of people to it.

I saw people blaming her situation on poverty, others where blaming her parents, but honestly, all these have nothing to do with why she is an addict.

READ: Could you be hooked? 10 surprising addictions

From what I understood, she gravitated from weed to cocaine, her ex-boyfriend who played the devil’s incarnate, is not also the reason why she is an addict.

Curiosity makes a lot of people take drugs, but for someone to gravitate to being unable to live without it, there must be something wrong inside.

There may be something she is running away from, there may be something she is trying not to feel, we can’t all be jumping into conclusion.

Addiction
There may be something she is trying not to feel…

Like they always say, the best way to combat drug addiction is not to try it, and don’t experience the solace it brings.

Cocaine is very addictive, and in very little time, it gets too late. You are hooked before you can say ‘Jack Robinson’. But before throwing blames at addicts, understand that it is always more than the drugs.

READ: Emotion is a Lie

Addiction comes hand-in-hand with a lot of mental health and emotional issues. People who suffer anxiety might go to drugs to cope, people with depression might also go to drugs and so on like that.

The only way I think addiction can end, is if we look out for, and support each other, I sincerely hope Lizzy gets the help she needs.

 

Note: This article was written by Banji Coker, owner and publishing editor of FibbsKulture 

2 min read

The Welcome Party

You met someone new and suddenly think you’ve found a strong connection with them huh? soulmate innit? But isn’t it too early to pitch your conclusion around that? 😌 Oh well, keep reading… 

When we meet someone new,  a kind of adrenaline pops. Like fuel, it nurtures our mental ability excellently, making us want to go the extra mile in knowing them. We try to know more about their life, best meal, favourite colour, if they love ice cream, etc.

At this stage, who we truly are dissolves in the background of our lives because we have taken to compromising but can we live up the routine forever? 

READ: Everyone Is A Physiognomist.

Change Was Expected

Fine! I totally get it. You got carried away in the frenzy, knowing you loved the same genre of music, same hangout spots, matching intellectual strength and what have you. You were happy to have found someone like that yeah? 

But who would have envisaged you two will begin to share some awkward moments. Well, I did.

It’s no news that two people cannot maintain the same energy forever. Highs and lows are definite. But more than half the time, one person changes first. If it’s not you then sorry!

‘They are changing’, you think! So you begin to hassle your mind for a thousand and one topics that can keep the flow between you two. It’s not working. This wasn’t so hard before, was it? Now it all seems like we are struggling just to have something to say to them. 

But here’s one truth I realized over time, especially with me as a case study…

Change
Now they got multiple colours, you can’t tell who they are again but…chillllll

READ: About Muttering Minds

The Welcome Party is Over

You will be more doomed if you start screaming in their face that they’ve changed.

Its time to step up your game! Know who they truly are.  All that happened, in the beginning, was basically for courtesy sake, it was a ‘welcome party’ and now it is over and you have to wake up. 

Ask more relevant questions other than what they wore to bed last night🤭. We all like the rarest forms of care compared to  the regular. Give it!

You can ask them what their deepest fears are, career goals, if they like science or philosophy tickles them, worse case scenarios, their opinion on murder and so many terrific and terrifying stuff, PICK THEIR BRAINS

Now is the time to know their real demons because the welcome party is over my friend😉.

NEWS FLASH: The world is changing… Oops! I meant the world has changed! Don’t ask me what I had for breakfast every day, don’t ask me what my favourite colour is or worst of my favourite sex position, yuck!… That’s basic! You can ask though but it shouldn’t crown your discussion😋. I like that you can ask me questions like “have you ever so bad considered slashing someone’s throat” Ok just kidding, I’m sure you get the point.

 

To Share Your Own Stories With Us, Click Here

< 1 min read

Seen someone for the first time and even without having a conversation with them, you try to predict their character judging by their looks alone? Well, I enjoy doing so, like I see a young man on the street,  I try to guess his name, he could be a ‘Micheal’ because of his eyes and yellow skin or a Bingo cause of his ears lol. 

Then I move over to predict his characteristics. Is he easily happy or provoked?  a nerd or dummy? lousy or quiet? I sometimes go as far as guessing his rate at womanizing lol.

physiognomy
How I stay by the corner, predicting characteristics of passersby

Funny thing is if fate permits that I have a conversation or spend ample time with any of these people I  placed several guesses, I find most of my guesses are correct.

I read about it, its called physiognomy. It is the act of discovering/predicting temperament and character from outward appearance. I bet everyone is a Physiognomist.

READ: Do I value my opinion enough to be honest with you?

Although according to Wikipedia, no direct proof shows that it should be relied on but due to the upsurge of artificial intelligence and machine learning for facial recognition, a revival of interest emerged suggesting that facial appearances do “contain a kernel of truth” about a person’s personality.

Thinking of the next movie to watch, click here!

< 1 min read

I say things because I know they’ll make you feel better, not because I always mean them. I feel it’d hurt you to hear my honest opinion about you always. Does it mean I don’t care? Does it make me a terrible person?

How do I expect you to feel when you tell me you’re fed up with life and rather than encourage and give reasons to hold on strong I tell you “You know you can just die right now? Do you need options? Moreover, the world will have one less person to worry about.” ‎

READ: Patchy Reconciliation; Guilt trips won’t save you

I’d rather that I keep my opinion to myself because I don’t want anyone pointing fingers when things go wrong, cause things always go wrong either way. I love my peace of mind better. ‎

opinion
There’s always that one different opinion

READ: Stupid things just to get ‘HER’ attention

Ever been involved in an argument or conversation about someone or something and you’re super convinced that everyone talking is saying things under the influence of “I don’t want anyone to think of me as a bad person”?? And maybe you’ve been there too. Does it mean you don’t value your opinion enough, to be honest with everyone, even if it’s dreadful? 

2 min read

Just as I was approaching my graduation ceremony in college, I had a serious fall out with a friend, wouldn’t want to go into details but it made us stop talking till date and mind you it’s been over two years as I write. 

Surprisingly, she sent me a text yesterday saying she just lost her dad and asked if I could come for the burial. 

Like helloooo!!! No apologies?  I understand how sensitive it is to lose someone but why text me? so I can offer my condolence and be there for her in any way possible?

But for God’s sake! This is someone who didn’t send me a ‘sorry text’ or asked me how I’ve been faring and viola she plays this card😒.  Leaving her text unattended verifies me as insensitive, I know, but all I can make from this is that she is trying to exploit my humane side for some cheap patchy reconciliation. Some bloody guilt trip!

reconciliation
Never to be caught faking a smile

Why is it hard to admit we are wrong without being melodramatic about it or trying to manoeuvre with guilt trip mechanisms? 

Asides from what my friend did, we humans are naturally this way. A matter that simple “I am sorry” can make well, we wouldn’t bulge but instead, we try to play silly comeback cards. 

READ: Tributes should not be a bed of lies…Stop!

Someone gets your goat and instead of apologizing immediately, waits until it is either your birthday, they are terribly sick or worst of had a near-death experience. They feel wishing you a happy birthday atones for their sins and before you say jack, you have given in to all their nasty smiles again.

READ: If Murder was legal for a day

 If you are guilty of this, stop. In as much as you want sympathy, first, apologize. If you sincerely feel the need to reconcile with someone, you should do so without any leverage to fall back on. Life is not hard😏

Dear friend, if your dad hadn’t died would you have texted me?