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Betrayal from loved ones! Is shame always a factor?

Writer- Anonymous
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2 min read

Dear Mutterers, it gives me great pleasure to communicate with you all through this medium.  An occurrence has left me shocked for days now and it’s gotten me thinking about how we humans can be though.

So here’s the gist; my supposed “best friend” just gave birth and the funny thing is I had no idea she was even pregnant. So shocking right? Especially knowing we are best friends.

This is someone I grew up with and we’ve strong bonds, although a change of house location created a long-distance we still try to keep in touch and check up on one another often. 

READ: FRIENDSHIP IS A RUSE

On finding out she had given birth, I had to go through our chats to see if there were any loopholes I probably missed but it’s been back to back of enjoyable chats and checking up on one another and not once did she mention the word ‘Pregnancy’. Lest I forget, I got the news of her delivery via her brothers WhatsApp status. Oh my WOW! I looked so shocked and stupid at the same time. 

Some of you might begin to reason, maybe we had a fight or something, but hell No! Nothing of such. I held her in high esteem, I could swear she hadn’t popped her cherry yet. How can someone you love, trust and hold in high esteem do such to you, it then means such a person can hurt you right?

betrayal
Was it shame?
READ: WHEN THEY DONT TELL YOU

Yes, I am happy for her, I mean everyone is happy to receive the news of a newborn but sincerely I’m pained, this is a betrayal.  Pained especially because I had to reach out to her first and say congratulations and she just said “thank you” and locks up like nothing happened or I don’t deserve an explanation and then had the guts to ask when I will be paying her a visit.

Somehow I regret reaching out first only to get such nonchalant response. I should have just laid low and pretended like I saw nothing and wait for her to break the news herself anytime she felt. It’s all good though. It’s a cold world and like the singer, Popcaan said in his track ‘Silence’, “It’s so hard to trust your enemy at the same time, so hard to trust your friend”. Indeed the world is electric, anything can shock you.

READ: HAVE YOU MET THEIR OTHER CLOSE FRIENDS?

Maybe somewhere along the line, I went wrong.  Maybe she never regarded me as a best friend. Been asking myself too many questions, I feel so betrayed or was it the shame of giving birth out of wedlock that made her hide it? how do I solve this? Have you ever been betrayed by a loved one?

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Ogunjobi Joseph
Guest
Ogunjobi Joseph

I think I’ve been betrayed on many occasions but i just have to let all go, at least I trusted them more, than the trust they had in me, probably that’s why i felt betrayed.

muttering minds
Admin

There is a certain peace I feel knowing I trusted more and they glitched it. Such peace makes it satisfying to let go. Welcome on board Joseph😎

Darius
Guest
Darius

I have been at peace with myself ever since I came to terms with the fact that I shouldn’t lose sleep because someone refused to share their good tidings with me. If you don’t want to share your good news, you may as well choke on it.

A friend who didn’t invite me to his wedding, deemed it wise to invite me to his baby’s dedication. I honoured the invitation but I left in the middle of the dedication and I made sure he saw me leave. The idiot was pissed.

muttering minds
Admin

Sometimes retribution is served glaring just so they know they hurt you. If he is wise, he should have gotten the message. Thank you Darius👌

Queen
Guest
Queen

Firstly,that girl isn’t your bestfriend cos bestfriends don’t hide things like pregnancy from their bestfriends. It’s a good thing, you reached out to her and say congratulations. I have learnt something in life, that we should always show appreciation to people who has done something for us. Sympathise with those who lost their loved ones no matter how bad the friendship might be And to say congratulations to people who has successfully achieved something. It doesn’t take away anything from you rather it increases your blessings. Finally, I want you to open up to her, tell her how deeply hurt… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin

Well said Queen. I am sure ‘Anonymous’ is taking notes 👌

Kenneth
Guest
Kenneth

Personally I don’t have a best friend and the reason why would be cos I believe we all came individually so no one really owes us an explanation for any decision they take I might get angry yeah, but I’d still respect his/her decision to hide it from me

muttering minds
Admin

Exactly! The truth is getting angry over this and expressing it will not leave out the fact that you were not pre-informed.

Adeshina
Guest
Adeshina

Betrayal comes when you expect too much from people, in other words I will advise to be less expectant and get surprises in return.

muttering minds
Admin

Like they say, no one owes us shit

Edoh David
Guest
Edoh David

Nice write up

muttering minds
Admin

Glad you had an enjoyable read👌

Wendy
Guest
Wendy

Betrayal is the order of the day. The best way to avoid it is not to expect anything from anyone. We have also betrayed people without knowing it.

muttering minds
Admin

True! We have faulted in several ways too😊

Odoemelam Chioma
Guest
Odoemelam Chioma

I’ve been betrayed before by a close friend. I was so shocked but after an honest conversation with her, I understood why she did what she did. I think you should let her know how you feel too. It’s very important.

muttering minds
Admin

Alright! Guess ‘Anonymous’ is reading through 👌

Ukay
Guest
Ukay

To my own view my Munchchoko, I would suggest you should open up to her, tell her why she kept that a secret from you, her response will give you a final conclusion.

muttering minds
Admin

Yeah. Wise choice. Thank you

Sarahfic
Guest
Sarahfic

She has her reason for keeping it to her self
Mayb d disgrace of having a baby outside wedlock or u finding out who the fada his just got her thinking of keeping a secret and letting u hear from someone one else
And again she might b angry with u for something u er not aware of
I think it best you talk to her and ask her y even though u guys are close like sisters u were the last to no of something this life changing about her

muttering minds
Admin

True! Thank you

Annie
Guest
Annie

Mhmmm. This is a touching subject. More reason I don’t really pride in having close besties or sort. I am friendly to all but no such close close confidant like pals. We just got to protect ourselves from things of this sort.

Khalifa
Guest
Khalifa

Lovely story , if only we can read minds …. we can choose better friends and love ones

muttering minds
Admin

Yeah. But unfortunately we are not psychic

Silas Otue
Guest
Silas Otue

Probably you regarded her as your bestie….
But to her, you were just one far away friend….
Such is the irony of life.

Betrayal to mankind is inevitable… The more you give your best, the deeper you get hurt.

muttering minds
Admin

Hmmmmm! So should we not give our best?

Ezeugo 1
Guest
Ezeugo 1

Ehmm. That’s just life. If it was out of wedlock maybe she felt ashamed of telling you. But when you congratulated her she may have felt that you wouldn’t judge her thus her asking when you would come visiting

muttering minds
Admin

Hmmmm! Looking from another angle though. 👌

Damilola Akinwunmi
Guest
Damilola Akinwunmi

It seems shame played a huge factor here. We human beings could be very complicated you know. I think you should open up to her and make her know your disappointment before going to visit her – that is if you ever will. I think it depends on your discussion after you relay your disappointment.

muttering minds
Admin

Well said Damilola. Welcome on board😎

Hugogenius
Guest
Hugogenius

In life, try as much as possible to have very less expectations.

Secondly, quit having best friends. They don’t exist. Everyone is your friend, everyone is your enemy.

Inside life!

muttering minds
Admin

Lol. They actually exist for some though.

Jesse
Guest
Jesse

I think we should learn to understand that human beings can change at any point in time, so to emancipate your self from mental slavery, you move on

Sunday
Guest
Sunday

I have been betrayed but it’s no biggie. To err is man and to forgive is define.

Marty
Guest
Marty

One thing’s for certain, she legit knows what she did smh.