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apology

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2 min read

Just as I was approaching my graduation ceremony in college, I had a serious fall out with a friend, wouldn’t want to go into details but it made us stop talking till date and mind you it’s been over two years as I write. 

Surprisingly, she sent me a text yesterday saying she just lost her dad and asked if I could come for the burial. 

Like helloooo!!! No apologies?  I understand how sensitive it is to lose someone but why text me? so I can offer my condolence and be there for her in any way possible?

But for God’s sake! This is someone who didn’t send me a ‘sorry text’ or asked me how I’ve been faring and viola she plays this card😒.  Leaving her text unattended verifies me as insensitive, I know, but all I can make from this is that she is trying to exploit my humane side for some cheap patchy reconciliation. Some bloody guilt trip!

reconciliation
Never to be caught faking a smile

Why is it hard to admit we are wrong without being melodramatic about it or trying to manoeuvre with guilt trip mechanisms? 

Asides from what my friend did, we humans are naturally this way. A matter that simple “I am sorry” can make well, we wouldn’t bulge but instead, we try to play silly comeback cards. 

READ: Tributes should not be a bed of lies…Stop!

Someone gets your goat and instead of apologizing immediately, waits until it is either your birthday, they are terribly sick or worst of had a near-death experience. They feel wishing you a happy birthday atones for their sins and before you say jack, you have given in to all their nasty smiles again.

READ: If Murder was legal for a day

 If you are guilty of this, stop. In as much as you want sympathy, first, apologize. If you sincerely feel the need to reconcile with someone, you should do so without any leverage to fall back on. Life is not hard😏

Dear friend, if your dad hadn’t died would you have texted me?

2 min read

If you are in the wrong, cease having the conviction that at the mention of these tricky three words; ‘I am sorry’, you will be redeemed.

It is sad to agree that we have been trained to see an apology as a currency but that’s what it has become. We use apologies to buy our way through certain offenses as though purchasing a commodity. 

A Lot of times we get mad that despite being apologetic the other party has refused to bat an eye. For example, you were told to resume at the parade ground at 6 am and that failure to be there on time will warrant some corporal punishment. You arrived late and you think pleading will be your saving huh? You keep begging but to no avail. Now because you could not buy your way this time with the tricky three ‘I am sorry’ you immediately conclude that the instructor is wicked… “Upon my pleadings, this man wasn’t moved… He’s so wicked”… You say. 

apology
Yes, you said ‘sorry’, but you lost the chance.

The tricky three is also promiscuously used in our relationship with people… It’s very crude to say “But I have apologized to him(her), why still proving difficult”. Are there any commodities up for auction here?😟 Hello! I understand you are sorry but sorry darling! the tricky three is not a hall pass. Yes, you said it! Yes, the other person is aware! but like I said earlier, it’s not a hall pass neither will it breach the rules for you. 

READ: When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough

It is foolish to call a person ‘wicked’  because they stuck to their guns. If you keep getting a hall pass for all the tricky threes you’ve said all your life, imagine how careless you will have become? No! that’s an affront to the word ‘Careless’, I bet you would have been so far gone…perhaps Merriam Webster has to coin a new word for such behavior. 

READ: SHE’S SORRY! SHE’S PREGNANT!

Stop exploiting the richness of the word ‘Sorry’, Saying ‘sorry’ is not a currency that purchases you a  gate pass to whatever offence you must have committed neither does it mean you are repentant… Wait a minute! Did you get that? OK let me put it this way… How about we do a trade by barter here, I forgive you and then you are automatically repentant😊… How cool is that? It’s rather impossible Yeah! I know! Just like you wish apologies can be a currency for you, someone out there wishes it can be an immediate repentance for you. Just maybe when apology starts to mean repentance then it  could be considered a currency too.