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best approach to making friends

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2 min read

You know you can see two people together every time, going about the same stuff, eating side by side in the cafeteria, laughing at the same jokes, sometimes wearing the same outfit, plying the same route, etc. but they are not actually friends.

This habit is most common with students, we all need something from one another and so we form allies. We need someone to help us lobby our names on the attendance sheet whenever we will be missing lectures, someone to give the silent calls and codes during exams, etc.

Read: Friendship is a Ruse

Often, It is not only two individuals who form this kind of union, most times it is usually up to a cartel number, you see a group of four or five people walking together and going about the same stuff but more than half the time, they are not friends, only together for a reason.

I remember following this ritual when I was in college. Four ladies who connected because of school work, weekends were not an option, but you see Mondays until Fridays, we will practically blow up each other’s phones with rings. “Babe, what’s up? Are you coming to lectures? Mr O said we will be writing a test, please reserve a space for me”…similar needs like this, we will always request from one another. We knew we weren’t friends. But guess what! We worked things out. Through the heat of various requests, we were able to figure one another out, knowing what each other likes and dislikes and viola! We are still friends till today.

Read: The Friends Chart; When they dont Tell You
not actually friends
Sharing good moments together does not mean you are friends.

Why am I writing this? Most times we deliberately form these allies, other times it happens subconsciously. You just find yourself always with a particular person or a mini group. Some people get it wrong, they think they have made friends and begin to scream betrayal when the person they thought they had made friends with crosses over to another party.

Never be foolish to think you are friends, at least not immediately. When a group is no longer serving its purpose, the ones who knew the core ingredient that attracted them to the group always leave because they invested no affection.

Read: Why you should say No even when convienient

Not every two individuals you see together always are friends. I’m sure you have an idea of what I am talking about. Have you ever asked someone:

You-  Hey! Where is Nancy, we haven’t seen her in a while?

Person- I don’t know, not heard from her in a while too.

You- too! I actually thought you were friends.

Person- Ah really! No!  We are not close o.

And that’s the truth, they are not actually friends but only served the same purpose at the time.