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I am Muttering

Why we Keep the Good Ones At Bay

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3 min read

In a world where the good ones are almost extinct and everyone seems to be looking out for themselves, it’s hard to tell that a good person is actually ‘good‘. 

Paranoia keeps getting in the way; ‘Perhaps she’s faking it’, ‘He feels to good to be true, maybe he’s just after my knowing what the cherry tastes like’, ‘Is it not ladies? she’s just after securing the bag and a ring’... and the adjectives keep going on and on.

But are these really our fears? Maybe they make up a fraction of it but what gets the largest share? 

It’s cringing worthy for most of us when we notice a certain ‘somebody’ trying too hard to get close to us. We would nag the hell out of our friends, narrating how this ‘somebody’ calls us at every point of the day, how they meet our needs without hesitation, how they care too much, most importantly how we are fed up of their recurrent goodwill. It’s very appalling, isn’t it? we cannot point out why something good gets us really irritated.

In my head yesterday, I was reminiscing on the really good ones I have met and what went wrong. I realized they fizzled away, they just happened to not be there anymore. It wasn’t that they got tired of being nice, it was because subliminally my entire being became very resistant to all their dose of kindness.

Like the saying ‘You can’t give what you don’t have’, this was different, I wasn’t giving and was also resistant to receive. I realized that we cannot enjoy fully what we can’t give. You might think that you are having a grasp of enjoyment to the detriment of another but your conscience will keep pricking you at every opportunity until you let go.

good people
Not just scared that they might be faking it, but more scared that they are real.

Niceness should not be a culture shock but unfortunately, that’s what it has become. That we have been taught there are no good ones on earth except they want something is not enough reason to fight it when it graces our way.

The truth is we are scared. Not just scared that they might be faking it, but more scared that they are real. In fact, we accept they are real but yet push them away because their niceness is a threat to who we are.

READ: Why do people say that “good people don’t last”?

“How can a person be selfless, are you Jesus?” this is me trying to talk the nice ones I’ve met out of it. I give them every reason why they cannot be good or at least be a mixture. I tell them how I suck at loving just so they leave me the hell alone and when they don’t, I fuel my un-niceness towards them.

I don’t know about you, but the actual truth and what makes up the largest share of my fears is that I know I cannot be as good to them as they are to me. I prefer that they remain at bay now that it’s early before they ask a measure of love I cannot proffer.

I pressure it’s the truth for all of us, we may not know it or refuse to accept it but subliminally this makes up a larger part of our fears in dealing with good people.

 

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AmakaBubumuttering mindsEzeugo 1Mykel Oche Recent comment authors
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Mykel Oche
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Mykel Oche

Most good guys are boring and nobody wants to be in a boring relationship. Same goes for good girls.

Ezeugo 1
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Ezeugo 1

Define boring

Ezeugo 1
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Ezeugo 1

“I know I cannot be as good to them as they are to me” this sums up everything. Most people forget that they have to work on themselves first before they complain about others.

Bubu
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Bubu

Some people have been hurt and disappointed several times in life and so put up a guard in other to avoid reoccurrence of their past and when a good person comes by they can’t tell and even if they can, they don’t want to believe that such goodness is still available in this world.

Amaka
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Amaka

I think often times is as a result of what they have experienced in the past, some people are used to humans who act so nice and then suddenly they change for only God knows what , so sometimes people sort of put up these walls cause they are trying to protect their inner peace and not get used people always been good to avoid the heart breaks that comes with it.