December 2019

2 min read

When someone visits your page on social media and likes almost all the photos you have on there and also follows you, what do you do?

  • Do you ignore? 
  • Do you go to their own page and like back? 
  • Do you follow back?

This is guilt-tripping. Most times the person is waiting for the same reaction. You think you’ve found a fan but when you don’t reciprocate, they unfollow you. And if you reciprocate the gesture, moving forward you will notice that the follow back was all they needed. No more traces of them on your timeline. 

A friend of mine told me she got angry at her cousin for not replying to her comment on Instagram. She got so angry that she went back to delete her comment. I asked why and she said her cousin replied to all the other people who commented but her. I told her, perhaps her comment didn’t warrant a reply.

Read: Does Staying Offline Validate Our Existence

It could also have been that someone else commented something similar to hers and her cousin had to choose one. It’s just like asking for the price of an item in the comment session, and eventually, when you scroll through, you realize some other person’s comment has been responded to in that light. 

social media
Like for like? follow for follow?

So here’s the question, do you comment on a post with the intention to get a reply or to air just your opinion. Yeah I know it goes both ways, it depends on the post right! but will you be that angry and see it as an insult like my friend did. The truth is not all comments warrant a reply, it is even tiring sometimes having to reply to comments.

Read: How to Respond to Social Media Comments

Also are you the type who does ‘like for like’,  ‘follow for follow’ and all other social media shenanigans? Basically, how do you play on social media?

2 min read

Have you noticed that sometimes no matter how many times you’ve read through your written work, there’s just going to be a typographical error fished out when someone else does?

Sometimes when we go over what we wrote, we are oblivious to the typos despite reading the umpteenth time. But if we check painstakingly or someone else does, we notice them or begin to see that some words we actually read out weren’t even there at all, so how come we read them out in the first place?

There are some words registered in our minds already. When we write, we automatically think that we have written them. But we either skipped them or put a similar word that looks like them in spelling unknowingly. And because they have been registered in our minds, no matter how much we read through, we don’t notice they aren’t in context but we keep mentioning them over and over.

READ: 6 tips for catching your writing mistakes (and protecting your credibility)
You either shut your mind completely or leave it ajar

This also happens when we are reading other people’s work. We either skip or replace words with those already registered in our minds.

Whenever  I come across a typo error in someone’s work,  I always ask ‘I bet you didn’t notice this yeah?’  they are surprised and attest to have read over and found no typo until I did. 

Click Here for Movies to Watch this Christmas

Do you read with your mind or eyes? Reading with our eyes especially in terms of proof-reading makes us conscious of typos better than our minds. Opening your eyes wide to read and slowly absolving word for word with your mind is the deal. You either shut your mind completely or leave it ajar if you must avoid typos.

3 min read

First of all, can all WhatsApp group admins raise their hands and say ‘Hi’…lol.

It is rude to add someone to a WhatsApp group without prior notice,  no matter how convinced you are that they should be a part of the group. Is it so much to ask...”Hello Uju,  I’m creating a WhatsApp group for the Red Cross club alumni, do you want to be a part of it?” It’s that simple!

Of course, you will go ahead to brief me on the sole purpose of creating the group, and if that’s okay with me, I oblige. It is inappropriate to think because I am an alumnus,  I must belong to it and so you add me without prior notice.

If peradventure you didn’t have the luxury of time to ask the eligible persons individually if they would like to be a part of it, then you can add randomly only on one condition.

READ: How To Run A Successful WhatsApp Group

Here’s the deal,  when u add everyone randomly, send a note that indicates first, an apology for adding them without prior notice, second the core aims of the group and lastly indicate that it’s a hall pass for whoever needs to leave.

Sometime last month, I was added to a WhatsApp group, ideally I wouldn’t want a connection with any of the members there. You know the saying ‘what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas’ right?  it was comprised of a group of people I had bittersweet memories with and left for me, it’ll be wise to bury the hatchet instead of digging further.

Suddenly I get a notification that I have been added to a WhatsApp group bearing an obscure name. It took me a bit of scrutiny to know who the culprit was. OMG!  I wasn’t happy at all, but I kept my calm out of respect to observe the routine. You know, there can’t always be one ‘black sheep’ lol, someone like me who wasn’t feeling the group left and you won’t believe the admin started raining polite curses on the person. Not only that, she began to guilt-trip the rest of us on why we shouldn’t leave.

READ: Homosexuality Is Not a Crime

WhatsApp group
Do you feel caged in a WhatsApp group?

Helllooooooo! No one owes you any level of activity simply because they are on a WhatsApp group you created. Some people don’t like to talk much, Some like to connect individually not collectively. The most irritating of it all is when your phone beeps continuously due to silly natterings from group chats, arrrrggggghhhh😡.

So many guilt trips come with belonging to a WhatsApp group. Despite becoming a mute, it’s so hard to leave. And if you eventually leave,  you are tagged ‘bitter’ or a ‘rebel’.

It’s a waste of time adding me to a Whatsapp group, I try to keep the pace at the initial stage but eventually falter, it’s not intentional, it just happens, no matter how important the so-called group is. 

READ: The History of WhatsApp

Anyone out there like me? Or perhaps you love WhatsApp groups, I will like to know how you play. Special recognition also to the benchwarmer or should I say ‘Chat Warmer’, who never says a word, not even an emoji contribution but knows all that happens in the group and also keeps record of the group fights. Whatsapp group admins, get in here too.

2 min read

What’s a new year without a resolution? Oh, scrap that! I really sound cliché. So here’s the deal… Muttering Minds has been running for about three months and trust me it’s been awesome, especially having to read through your intelligent comments on different posts, mehn! It’s been a learning curve.

The year is wrapping up, and I will like to weave 2020 goals for Muttering Minds around you.

READ: About Muttering Minds

So tell me, how do you feel about Muttering Minds? The stories? Do they catch your attention enough? Do they get you thinking in the ways that you want? How about the website structure? Is it user-friendly? Bottom line! In all ramifications, rate Muttering Minds.

Muttering Minds
How do you see our logo too?

In about ten sentences, I will love to know the following from you;

  1.         How would you describe Muttering Minds?
  2.         On a scale of 0-10, where does Muttering Minds fall?
  3.         What you love about Muttering Minds?
  4.         What don’t you like about Muttering Minds?
  5.         What’s your best story so far on Muttering Minds?
  6.         How can Muttering Minds be better?

All answers will be compiled and featured in a post on any of the days within the last week of December. You can leave your answers in the comment section or send it to Remember to keep it real!

Read: Birthday Blues? Oh Christ! I hate Birthdays


2 min read

Arrrgghhh! Another day of the year I’m supposed to put on a happy face yeah and be all grateful right?

Well, I hate birthdays. And this is because for over 20 years of my life I’m yet to figure the purpose of celebrating it.

Why do we celebrate birthdays anyway? To show we are thankful to have lived another 365 days? For Christ sake, Lord in heavens knows that I am every freaking day. And the essence of the cake! For what exactly? I mean I could eat cake whenever I want dammit!

Read- Birthday Depression: Why Birthdays Are So Hard

I always get jittery every freaking time it’s my birthday, so jittery that I almost didn’t want to put this shit up. Do you see how it messes with me? Like I wish the day could be erased off the calendar, I wish I could disappear from the earth just for the day so I don’t have to put on that cliche happy face while receiving your ‘well-wishes’.

Are you wondering why I hate birthdays? Birthdays are feigned. You can celebrate me any day of the year. The idea of wanting to be the first to wish me, composing beautiful notes which ideally you wouldn’t send me, receiving gifts from people who expect you to give back on their own big days, and those who wish you expecting you wish them back on their days too… the list is endless. What makes it a happy birthday at the end of the day?

Read: Why You Should say No even when its Convenient 

Hate birthdays

I’m even bad at remembering birthdays. Rather I pretend to forget because I hate being fake. Don’t get me wrong, I acknowledge a few sincerely. But no matter how close you think we are, if I don’t feel it, I won’t wish you. And for all the times I sent a sorry text to have forgotten, I wasn’t sorry. We say what we need to say some times right?

Read: Am I the only one who hates phone calls?

Birthdays mess with me. It makes me wallow in a great degree of sober reflection without a  second of comic relief. While I am out here reckoning my achievements for a whole freaking year, some dingbat keeps buzzing my phone, asking where the party at. Arrrghhhhh!

2 min read

Sometimes do you just feel the need to say NO to someone’s request for a favor, not because it isn’t convenient for you but because you think they deserve to taste the other side of the coin at least once or twice to prevent abuse of certain privileges in the future.

Some friends have this polluted sense of belonging that no matter the level of boundaries one creates, it never applies to them. Well, I like to instill a shocker sometimes, not because they offended me at the moment, but because I don’t want them feeling they have the liberty of eating their cake and yet having it at will.

Read: How To Stop Saying Yes When You Want To Say No

Now watch it when you say no to these folks…as expected they are shocked. Some sort of shock that metamorphoses into silent anger. Before you say jack, they’ve gone all mute on you. There we go again,  some low key bad vibes. Awkwardness begins to play out and when you ask them why they’re tripping, they maintain that all is well. All for a simple no?

Read: How to Say No Without Ever Saying No
 Say No
How I say no smiling

Are they not the ones in your life who should understand more than anyone else and respect your decision without putting a force? So why the sudden friction in communication? Do you know that all the ‘YESes’ you‘ve ever granted them can never make up for this one time ‘NO’? You are automatically on their bad book.

READ: These Rules that Attack our Individuality

I practice the art of saying no sometimes to so-called loved ones. It’s one of the ways I test their genuinity. Saying no doesn’t make anyone a bad person, instead, it makes you a defined person and you don’t have to say no only when it’s an inconvenience, say no sometimes even when convenient, life is not a rose bed after all. Sometimes beat the grass to startle the snakes.