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February 2020

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5 min read

The first movie I watched featuring Daniel Kaluuya was ‘Get Out’, where he lead me on with his astounding acting skill that I looked forward to more, coupled with his black skin and bulgy sceptic eyes on my screen. And boom! a colleague said…”Mehn! If you love this guy, you’ll love him more after watching Queen & Slim”.

Funnily enough, I had come across the movie advert before but paid no mind. First, what kind of movie bears ‘Queen & Slim’? Possibly one of those hapless romantic films I don’t like. Also the movie poster, it seemed to me like a picturesque of two models posing for a refined ghetto shoot. Poor me, I forgot that sometimes appearance could belie reality.

queen and slim
It seemed to me like a picturesque of two models posing for a refined ghetto shoot.

Queen & Slim explores the struggle for survival of two blacks, Slim (Daniel Kaluuya) and Queen (Jodie Turner-Smith) after killing a white police officer in self-defence. Where do they run to in an era nourished with white supremacy and clear cut indignation towards the blacks? Well, they can only try to hide and if eventually they get caught, they’ll take solace in the fact that they did their best…at least that’s what I’ll do if in their shoes.

Read: What To Know About How To Get Away With Murder Finale 

After the incident, Queen and Slim are forced to flee with the intention of leaving no trace behind. Unfortunately, the news of their killing becomes know to all and sundry but while it fuelled more rage from the police to get them by all means, it stirred hope among the blacks in the country. The black folks resonated with the act as a turning point to halt the discrimination unbeknownst to them it was an accident.

queen and slim movie
Queen and Slim are forced to flee with the intention of leaving no trace behind.

Lessons From Queen & Slim

Spoilers are not my style of reviewing a movie, I’ll only tell you the many ways it appeals to me or not. 

A perfect blend of fire and ice:

I loved the blend of the two main characters. Daniel Kaluuya playing the vulnerable and meek one, and Jodie Turner playing the strong and assertive one. I found balance in their roles especially as I related it to life itself. Our personality is what makes us strong even if they appeal to the people around us as a weakness. Our Personality will be shitty if we deprive them of exposure/aid from other personalities. 

queen and slim
A perfect blend of fire and ice
In Split Seconds:

“The future is uncertain and the end is always near”, if the romantic crime drama does not teach you this then I wonder what will.  A persons life can change in split seconds and at such moment you get entangled in some self-pity thoughts on where you went wrong. At such moments, fear rules and hope becomes feeble. You’ll hope for the burden to pass but at every stage, it feels like you get more sunk in the quagmire. Times like this, we make decisions not based on how we feel but what we must do. My heart raced so much for Queen and Slim who got entangled in confusion, trauma and pain as they fled for their dare lives. It was a mind-altering and revealing journey, although scared, they fall in love, ticked their bucket list and kept the energy.

Don’t Be Fooled By Similarities: 

Contrary to Mahatma Gandhi’s quote which says that “the future depends on what you do today”, Queen and Slim’s future depended on who they met. I always thought I was bad for not trusting people from my tribe but not sorry because I won’t be changing my mind about that any more. Do not get comfortable with people because they are of the same skin colour, speak a language you understand or know someone you know. When they mess you up, you’ll regret the day they showed up in your life. The best thing is to have an open mind towards everyone regardless of similarities.

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queen and slim
Your life can change in split seconds….
Sometimes There Is No Light At The End Of The Tunnel:

You can’t sleep while watching this movie because at every scene you’ll find your heart racing alongside Queen & Slim’s heart. Relating their quest for survival to reality, it is like a man being diagnosed with cancer, after his family pulls through a whirlwind of jeopardy to raise the money for treatment, he receives treatment and shortly after he dies. What will you do in this situation?

Conclusion:

I must confess the Melina Matsoukas’ direct is one movie that’s elevated the bar in messing with my emotions. At the end of the movie, tears wouldn’t stop rolling down my eyes, I didn’t know if to be mad at the crew, especially the writer Lena Waithe or give a round of applause because it was all shades of excellence.

Jodie Turner and Daniel Kaluuya

How else would the movie have ended if not this way? Movies don’t have to be happy ever afters, what matters most is the conveyance of the message and Queen & Slim did absolute justice.

And yeah, did I love Daniel Kaluuya more? Absolutely! As a matter of fact, I’ve found an additional love in Jodie Turner. She was absolutely amazing in every scene, so hard to believe it was her first starring feature-film role. I will definitely be looking out for this duo on my screen.

 

2 min read

Boy meets girl

Boy fancies girl

Boy is alone with girl

For Boy at this moment, this means “enough with this first and second base, can we get to the third base already?”

Now a different girl, let’s call her Girl B, she wants to gauge her man’s affection for her. She turns around in the middle of a completely unrelated gist, looks straight into his eyes and pulls out the powerful phrase “I LOVE YOU”.

I love you
Man is confused.
Read: There Is A Code Among Men Which Goes…”I Saw Her First”

Man is confused. Like a baby who slept and woke in the arms of a total stranger, he wears a pale look stare at Girl B.

What is it about the phrase I LOVE YOU that makes it so reassuring, weakens strong bones and hardens flaccid boners? Or makes one so shocked and short of words for a response? 

i love you
To some, it means ‘Take off your clothes already’
Read: “I Love You, No Homo”

Love means different things to different folks. To some, it means ‘I value you’, to some, fondness, to some it means ‘Take off your clothes already’. Both for sincere and corny reasons, the phrase I LOVE YOU could appear incontestable.

When you say “I LOVE YOU” to someone, what do you mean?

 

2 min read

To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You is a climatic reminder to every guy that girls are always going to break your heart.

In the Michael Fimognari direct, the lead character Lara Jean portrays the typical lifestyle of teenage girls who always have their heads in the clouds and overthink scenarios. You can’t measure up with their fantasies and the sad thing is they categorically explain what it is they are feeling. When a new boy comes along, they begin to feel butterflies but feign it by acting up. 

Key stars from To All The Boys I’ve Loved

It’s no news that girls love being the centre of a love triangle but hate to belong to a love triangle where the centre is their partner. This what the story by Jenny Hann unravels.

People who have read the book claim that the half Korean, Lara Jean had a lot of reasons to start having second thoughts and Peter played a huge role in fueling her insecurities.

Click Here To Get Your Story Featured

There are also speculations that in the final movie of the ‘To All The Boys I Loved Before’ series, Lara Jean would want to focus on herself which means she will leave Peter to bite the dust.

However, the moral of the story is that no matter what you do, a girl is still going to leave.

Generally, ‘To All The Boys I Loved Before’ series is apt in its display of resplendent scenes, playlist and actors assuming roles suitable to their capacity. It is an ideal family watch although with some subtle PG-13 scenes. It’s a good bet for love fanatics and girls and boys in high school because they most definitely will be able to relate with the conflicts and psychological makeup of the actors.

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Follow @banjihateseverything on Instagram

 

5 min read

No matter how well you claim to know someone, the fact is, they have untold stories, behaviors, and habits they exhibit that you will never get to know. 

Don’t you have secrets? Don’t you have habits you’ll rather do in your closet than in the presence of the one you claim you love? Don’t you have behaviors you’d rather show to strangers than those who know you? The same applies to your partner. Secrets are not always huge, they could be small and flimsy but we’ll rather guard them jealously than expose them to prying eyes. 

Read: Social Media Display Of Affection
partners secret
They could be small and flimsy but we’ll rather guard them jealously than expose them to prying eyes.

Does Your Partner…?

A guy I was dating once confessed to attending a wild party doused with debauchery before he met me. I didn’t know what best to do with his confession than be mad. Did I have the right to be mad? right or not, I couldn’t help it, but unfortunately, spectators lingered on the fact that it’s his past and it will be unfair to hold it against him.

Yea, it’s fair to leave what happens in Vegas, in Vegas, but should we throw caution to the wind because we feel no one is watching? When we are asked for the things we consider before agreeing to start a relationship with someone, we give a long list of the things we think we have a grasp on…he/she must be God-fearing, loving, respectful, caring, intellectual, etc. 

Read: How Do You Play On Social Media
Do you know who you are dating?

Does your partner care enough not to indulge in activities you’ll frown at when you are not with them? Can you take every pill of their past without regurgitating? Are they loving to you alone or can boast of showing love to others? Are they mature enough to pick the right side of an argument and dish cogitating remarks to matters arising when you are not there? How do they handle social media? Bottom line! Do you know who you are dating?

Your Partner And Social Media

When I think of internet trolls, what pricks my mind among several other thoughts is, “Is this person in a relationship? If so, who are they dating?” 

You ought to be concerned about what your partner posts with their phone, sites they visit, bants they indulge in, what they like and the comments they put out there. What are their reactions towards the government, do their opinions about rape do justice or show how myopic their reasoning is? Are they skillful in analyzing human interest stories? 

Read: Long Distance Relationship Is A Scam!
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Are they skillful in analyzing human interest stories?

Imagine your partner getting dragged in the comment section because of a disparaging remark they made about a celebrity or body shaming an individual? that’s a dent on your name. For me, it’s over between us because I don’t see what concerns them with how a celebrity baby looks, the outfit they wear, if a person prefers to diet or not, etc. Baby boy, mind your business!

A partner who says “baby these are just memes…I actually don’t mean what I posted, it’s not like I support it, I just love the humor that’s why I posted it ”… like really? I wouldn’t last long with a partner who posts very insensitive things just for laughs. Like we are what we eat, we are what we post too, we have to be intentional about these things.

dating a troll
Is your partner a troll?

I have my sense of humor intact, I love sarcasm but there’s a thin line to every joke that mustn’t be breached and if my partner is insensitive to that thin line, then boy bye. Don’t go on twitter tweeting hogwash about sex all the time or ranting about some inhumane shit you’ll do if you caught your partner cheating, is there nothing better you can offer your timeline?

Is there nothing better to offer?

Cheating

Everyone claims their partner is well behaved but who opens these fake accounts for trolling? It shouldn’t always be about knowing your partner’s password to see if they are cheating. How about checking their social media to see the nature of people and pages they follow and like? Do they have multiple Instagram accounts? If so, for what purpose? Why do they use the names they use on social media? Looking at their browser history, what sites do they binge visit? These are very important and in fact, a faltering on any of these should be handled the way we handle cheating.

 

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It shouldn’t always be about knowing your partner’s password to see if they are cheating.

Truth is, our true nature manifests when we are all alone or have limited eyes on our radar. While we try to nurse our demons, we should have an idea of what demons we are subliminally accommodating in the other person although we cannot know the entirety of it. Whether you agree or not, your partner is a reflection of who you are and what you condone.  So who are you dating?

 

3 min read

The loss of a mother especially at a tender age is grieve itself. I lost my mum due to the delay of being attended to in a poorly managed hospital. 

For the first couple of days after her death, I lost touch with my emotions. I looked forward to crying, to grieve and blaming everything around me, but I  couldn’t. All I could do was stare at my brothers and relatives crying.

Maybe I was shy to cry in public or I wanted to be strong for my family, I can’t really tell. I couldn’t feel anything even though it all happened in front of me. 

Read: 10 Lessons My Mother’s Death Taught Me
death
Maybe I was shy to cry in public or I wanted to be strong for my family…

I am my mother‘s only daughter. I felt no one could feel the pain I had to feel. I thought I was the only one who had the right to feel bad because I was really close to her. Watching every other person mourn, I realized everyone had a touch of her in them but for a moment I was bemused as to why they were all crying.

For God’s sake, she was my mother if anyone should be feeling the most pain, it’s me. “What’s with the drama?”…my paranoia kicked. Until I realized it was selfish of me to think that I was the only one that had a relationship with her.

Read: Death Of A Loved One; “The Thought Still Hunts”
death
I was bemused as to why they were all crying

No! she was so sweet, in fact too great to have impacted just one life, mine!

Death is painful. I do not pray for anyone to lose their loved ones especially a mom but if you do you’re allowed to feel bad for a couple of months weeks or maybe years. It took me seven years to get over my mom‘s death but it might be longer for some other person and that’s because people grieve differently but my advice is not to dwell on death but look at the bright side.

Enough about death stories! The question now should be, how did I get over grieving? Just like death tells no one it is coming, no one prays to lose a loved one. To keep death out of my household, I started to lead a spiritual life. There had been instances where I could’ve lost one or more close family member after my mom but the power of God kept us strong.

Read: Eulogies To Our Loved Ones Stung By Death
death
Not to dwell on death but look at the bright side.

I learned to deal with the physical through the spiritual. I wish I knew God better while my mom was alive, I bet she wouldn’t have died. Putting God first in all I do has kept the devil out of my household. 

Looking on the bright side, my mom‘s death has actually done me good. Sometimes I just stare up to the sky and see her face smiling down at me. She is happy that her death drew me closer to God. 

death
Putting God first in all I do has kept the devil out of my household.

If you are currently grieving the death of a loved one or you face it sometime in the future (which is inevitable), you’re allowed to be mad for a bit, cry for a bit, but do not dwell there.

Moving on will be hard but there is always a lesson to learn. Hold on to God, He’s the only one that can pull you out of anything. Hold onto him, he has a lot planned out for you, death shouldn’t be an excuse.

 

3 min read

Knowing that you won’t be able to see, touch or interact with someone again comes with so much trauma especially when you know that if they were alive, things would have been a lot better in your life.

On February 22nd, 2007, exactly on a Thursday, I remember calling my dad from school to remind him of our inter-house sports competition and mid-term break so that he could come to pick me and my sister for the break but he never picked up his calls which was very unusual of him, so I put a call across to my mum, she wasn’t picking either.

The last option we had was to call our elder brother who immediately picked his call and told us dad had traveled, little did we know that he had traveled to have his eternal rest. 

Read: If You Knew The Last Time Will Be The Last Time
death
Knowing that you won’t be able to see, touch or interact with someone again

My brother assured us that he would be coming to pick us up. I started to get bothered, someone who traveled should be able to pick his calls right?  but I shoved the thoughts away after convincing myself that my dad is a grown man and can take good care of himself.

March 1st, 2007,  my brother came with my cousin to pick me and my sister up. As we arrived home, we met so many people in our house including the parish priest of my church. Some were crying while the rest wore sober faces. I was just 13 and had no idea what was going on, so I decided to go eat but my sister wouldn’t allow the food to go down my throat well as she kept asking the whereabouts of our dad. 

Read: Know More About Us

After the meal, I realized I hadn’t seen my mum so I asked and was directed to go outside. That was when I was met with a picture of my dad on a well-decorated table, it was then I realized something had gone wrong. My aunt broke the news to me that my dad had passed on. I couldn’t believe it, I had always thought that the heart of my lovely dad will never cease to beat.

Read: Words of Inspiration After the Death of a Father
death
I had always thought that the heart of my lovely dad will never cease to beat.

Diabetes snatched him away from us. I never had an idea it would be so soon, all I wanted was to achieve everything he wanted me to as he always said ‘Failure doesn’t come with the birth of a child but the decision of an individual’. Dear Dad, I know I failed you in this aspect while you were alive. I never valued these words up until you died.

I believe your death has brought me more self-love and confidence. If I could turn back the hands of time, I definitely would have listened to you and made people know that I am worth more than what they see with their naked eyes.

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death
I believe your death has brought me more self-love and confidence

I believe life moves on and you wouldn’t want me to hold back on anything. If I could say something to you now, it would be that I miss you greatly and I appreciate every effort you made to make me realize how wonderful I am and the importance of self-love.

I believe you are in a place that gives you peace and you are proud of me and my siblings and the achievements we have made so far. We miss you and love you so much.

YOU LIVE ON IN OUR HEARTS ALWAYS DAD.

 

 

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3 min read

Losing a loved one can be heart-rending and depressing. I have seen people slip into depression because they lost a loved one, and I never really understood the extent to which the loss of a loved one could take a toll on one’s life until I lost a dear friend.

Babangida and I met in secondary school. It was 2001 and I had recently been enrolled in an all-boys boarding school. I was finding it difficult making friends because I couldn’t speak fluent Hausa, and most of the students couldn’t communicate in English or Pidgin English; two languages I could speak with relative ease. Words travelled fast that a fake Americana had been admitted and I was treated like an exhibit in a museum. 

Everybody wanted to see the guy who didn’t understand Hausa. I told them that I grew up in the barracks and that because the barracks was a melting pot of people of different tribes, Pidgin English is the lingua franca. My explanations didn’t help. Just when I was dying of loneliness and boredom, I met Babangida and we sort of clicked. It was as if we had known each other for years. We bonded really well and became inseparable.

Read: Death Of A Loved One, Prior Gestures
death
We bonded really well and became inseparable

We both graduated and relocated to our respective states of residence; I, to Gombe, and Babangida, Plateau state. A couple of months later, I ran into a former classmate, Bashir, and he dropped a bombshell: he told me Babangida had passed on. I didn’t believe him at first, so I pressed him for details. He told me that he had heard that Babangida went to a stream to do his laundry and drowned after he mistakenly fell into the deep end. I treated the news with some doubt since he didn’t witness the incident. But as time went on, I ran into other former classmates of mine who corroborated Bashir’s story. My doubts began to taper off and I started to entertain the possibility that Babangida was really dead. For days, my heart ached and I was overwhelmed with grief.

Read: Can I Really Be Here?
death
Babangida went to a stream to do his laundry and drowned

Before Babangida’s passing, I had always thought that death only snatched certain kind of people. His death made me realize that death is a leveller and that it is no respecter of persons.

My friend’s death dealt me a severe blow. For days on end, I would stare blankly, hoping and praying that I would wake up and realize that news of my his passing was a dream. Getting over his death, an irreparable loss, was difficult. But as they say, “Time heals all wounds”.

Part of my healing process was letting go of anything my friend liked that would remind me of him. Anything from music, movies to fashion and hobbies.

 Read: When Your Best Friend Dies

Death of a loved one
My doubts began to taper off and I started to entertain the possibility that Babangida was really dead.

Even if I could turn back the hands of time, there was nothing I could have done to avert my friend’s untimely death because I believe it was fated to happen. In the days leading up to his death, I had had a series of nightmares.

It was an omen of impending death but I couldn’t put two and two together, and that’s probably because Babangida didn’t feature in my nightmares. His death still hurts. He was my best friend, and since his death, I have not had another.

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3 min read

Goodbyes are hard to say, I couldn’t help but agree the moment I got the news of little Alvin’s death. I’ve lost close relatives and friends but I can literally say his death was the most painful loss I’ve ever experienced. 

Little Alvin was a sweet loving kid, I enjoyed watching him blossom into an intelligent young man. His love for Disney Junior was typical of every active kid, once he fixes his gaze on the TV, no one dares to change the channel otherwise tantrums would become our lullaby the rest of the day. He was very loving regardless.

“Aunty Queen, thank you”… I can still hear the sound of his serene voice thanking me for buying him eggs and grapes on my way back for the holidays.

Read: Kids Immediately After Marriage, Yes or No?
death
Once he fixes his gaze on the TV…

My Sunday was going well, I had attended an ushers get together from church only to receive a call in the midst of the happy moments that my little Alvin was dead. “Dead how?”, I questioned in the midst of the confusion that accompanied the news. How can Alvin be dead? I kept asking until the call ended.

No way, it was a bitter pill to swallow, If any of my relatives wanted to prank me, would it be with the news of death? I soliloquized. I ran home in tears from the party to my friend and also a sister in Christ who stayed in the same hostel with me to pray with me, perhaps God will perform a miracle.

After speaking in tongues through our tears for some minutes, Little Alvin didn’t wake up. Several calls still confirmed his death.

Read: GRIEVING THE DEATH OF A CHILD
death of a loved one
I can still hear the sound of his serene voice thanking me for buying him eggs and grapes

Ohh!! How I cried. Prior to his death, I usually have premonitions anytime something bad was about to happen but in this case there was no gut feeling.

I always knew death was inevitable, but my idea about death was that a person has to be very sick before they die or maybe through accidents. I never envisaged that a little kid so full of life could just die without any of the factors involved.

death
The most painful goodbyes are those ones we didn’t have the opportunity to say.

The death of little Alvin changed my ideology on life and death. No one ever knows when he/she will die; so live every day as though it’s your last because tomorrow isn’t promised.

If I could turn back the hands of time I would love to spend more time with him.  Each time I see kids of his age, I begin to imagine how grown and smart little Alvin who I often call ‘uncle Alvin’ would have become. He died at the age of 5.

Read: Do You Still Feel Hurt?

Death of a loved one
But I still hold on to I and Alvin’s memories.

People often say they get over grief by removing everything that reminds them of their lost loved one but I still hold on to I and Alvin’s memories. The pictures, his reading chair, wardrobe and the rough markings he made in some corners of the house are still here. I always wear a smile each time I see them.

I can only thank God because who knows, Alvin could have grown into a fine man but so toxic to the family and society, or he would have died at a more advanced age after much investment in him. It would have been a bigger blow and shock to us.

His death taught me something very striking which is, “the most painful goodbyes are those ones we didn’t have the opportunity to say”.

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4 min read

To my year one college mystery guy…

Finding words to describe the death of a loved one is overwhelming as it feels like some cold night where deep truth comes to hunt.

Losing Godwin to the cold hands of death changed my perception of certain things. It was like a string holding my heart was cut.

My ‘mystery friend’ as I fondly called him always walked up to my lonely, quiet self in class. With so much boldness he will say “why are you not smiling”, “you no dey smile?” Those words had a special strange way of brightening my face, and then after, we’ll start conversing. 

death of a loved one
“why are you not smiling”, “you no dey smile?”

It wasn’t like I couldn’t snub him, I mean who walks up to someone they don’t know and obliges them in such manner. But Godwin was different, asides his intelligence and calmness, he wore a calm spirit which he tried so hard to disguise. 

Read: Tributes Should Not Be A Bed Of Lies…Stop!

We started getting pretty close that I will include his portion while cooking, serve in a cooler and send it to his hostel. He did the same for me too. We always had lunch together at the cafeteria, studied together with his friends. We eventually became so close, argued, bantered, debated… ohh! How endless the list was.

death of a loved one
We eventually became so close, argued, bantered, debated…

Suddenly after a long holiday, our department rep announced that Godwin was sick and won’t be resuming soon. Who would’ve imagined that a minor fall could result in dislocation and a serious leg injury and swellings? Every day the injury grew worse.

One faithful day he put a call across to me from his sickbed, and said; “babe, did I offend you, you cannot even call to check up”. I apologized sincerely and said I was going to check up more often, cause I mean he was so dear to me. We ended the call after filling ourselves with some good laugh. 

Read: Death Of Loved Ones, Prior Gestures
death of a loved one
We ended the call after filling ourselves with some good laugh.

A few days after, a bad day came smiling. Our department rep announced that Godwin was dead. He died from the cancerous leg injury.

Ohh dear, dear!!! It felt like a carpet was pulled off my feet. So much pain that as I write, it still tortures me. I almost collapsed, my colleagues had to support me back to my hostel. Ever felt so much pain that hits every fiber of your organs that you cannot move? I felt like a comatose struggling to regain my freedom from pain, but I couldn’t.

Read: Is Death An Open Sesame?
death of a loved one
Cries they say can’t bring back the dead but I wish mine did.
Read: If You Knew The Last Time Was Going To Be The Last

Our last conversation began to play in my head as regrets choked my heart. So he already said his last goodbye. It felt like the devil began to flog me with his words, they wouldn’t leave my head. The thought of saying I was going to check in again but didn’t kept hunting me.

Cries they say can’t bring back the dead but I wish mine did. Prior to his death, I used to think, some things could wait for later, but now, my whole orientation is reformed. It dawned on me to always do what is obtainable while I still can.

death of a loved one
It dawned on me to always do what is obtainable while I still can.

Reach out to loved ones often, forgive, pray. I know It’s easy to lose track, get carried away in your own world, but that one minute of your time won’t bite. That one minute, I wish I had to call my mystery guy and make him smile, chat and banter. 

His funeral was a whirlwind of tears, if it was possible for someone to get drowned in tears, I would have, but tears wouldn’t bring him back. I thought of running to him while he laid in state and then shouting “stand up!”, hoping he will hear me. 

Read: Grieving The Death Of A Friend
death of a loved one
Our last conversation began to play in my head and regrets choked my heart.

Songs from the legendary Jim Reeves began to make a lot of sense and communicated to me.

I beat myself each time I remember I forgot to check up. A simple call, visit or text could have made a difference, but I did none. Even though death might have still knocked, I would have felt a better peace.

But like we believe,  “Everything happens for a reason”. I thank my mystery guy for such beautiful memories and having a good impact on my life with his genuine friendship.  Rest On Godwin.

 

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2 min read

About forgivenessI know how to hold a grudge so when I have to forgive people it requires an extra effort.  I read somewhere that you know you have forgiven a person when you think about them and what they did and not feel hurt anymore. The truth is I still feel hurt even after saying “I forgive you“.

So to combat the spirit of unforgiveness, I started giving myself “proofs”. I will give my offenders anything they asked for. Go the extra mile for them, do things I didn’t even do before they offended me.

Forgiveness does not have to be once and for all. You can forgive and still be hurt.
One day the pain will fade but until then we keep forgiving and we keep loving.

The ‘proofs’ served as a response whenever the feeling of being hurt returned and the devil said I had not forgiven them. I always remind him of all that I did for them and tell him a person holding a grudge would not be that nice.

Read: How Seeking Forgiveness Can Be Exhausting

Forgiveness does not have to be once and for all. You can forgive and still be hurt. You’re human. But when you remember the event and feel hurt, you forgive again.

 forgiveness
You can forgive and still be hurt

You forgive today, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year…as often as it takes. One day the pain will fade but until then we keep forgiving and we keep loving.

How about you? Do you forgive once or it takes a while? What’s your mantra towards forgiveness?

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