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November 2020

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8 min read

After one of the members on Naked Minds called my attention for using real-names instead of nicknames of fellow subscribers in reposting responses to stories, I made up my mind that I was going to apologize properly by letting you all in on my many nicknames; some of which are lost in space, I hope never to find the need of them again😐.

Nicknames are cool, at least for me. Lowkey, I suffer from a fevered admiration for people who get called by their nicknames so often that even their close friends forget what their real names sound like. Do you have people like this around you? Well, I got one, his nikky is ‘Effect’…my nigga’s so hardworking his peers and superiors felt an uncommon urge to christen him again😄. His real name and his abilities are like oil and water, gargle at your own risk, they both won’t gel. Wondering what it is? Well, I don’t know either🙈…met him as Effect, and Effect he shall continue to be…what I don’t know can’t hurt me🤡.

nickname

IF YOU LAUGH…I SHOOT!

Well, getting a unique and popular nickname was a goal for me in secondary school. It felt tech to own one, I wanted to belong by all means. And even if I said no to the mantle, these slum/parting books staged themselves at playful corners waiting to embarrass me🤕. How do I tell the owner of a Slum book that I got no nickname to fill? and even if I left it vacant without her knowledge, eventually, in the long future when she revisits it, she’s hit suddenly by the trauma of how weird I was in high school. Not me! I didn’t want anyone to have such memories about me😂😂.

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So I ferried on a nickname quest🚣‍♀️. I began asking friends what they felt will soothe me for a nickname, specifically one they can call me any time even in public. I remember brainstorming with Ayomide, my bunkmate, and some others. As expected, they coined appellations from my English name ‘Doris’. Sure you can already predict the kind of nicknames they came up with. ‘Dodo’, ‘Dori Baby’, even the spelling backward jinx ‘Sirod’. Yuck! 🤮

nickname

I wasn’t having it. They all felt cliche. “Common now, I’m bigger than all this jargon🙄”, I often said this within me anytime they suggested some dementia allusive nikky. Do you ever know what you want sometimes but then shy to say it, instead you look for someone to help push you to your death so that at the end of the day, you can have a name to blame when things fall apart?😹 This was the game I was playing but how disappointing, no one thought in my direction😫. 

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“How about something sexy and mischievous?”, I suggested in a low tone. Trust the girls on this one 🤣🤣🤣, names started flying up and down. Guess the name I settled for 😭😭…‘SEXY BREEZE’ !!! oh, my days!!! Looking back now, I feel so embarrassed. Were my bunch of friends so stupid or I was the stupid one for agreeing to be coined a nickname for a tomfool?🤒 I definitely was so stupid! You need to see the way I blushed whenever someone called me ‘Sexy Breeze’. It felt so dope mehn😂😂!. But unfortunately, the name didn’t bring as much popularity as expected so I ferried on another quest🚣‍♀️.

nickname

Thanks to my very stupid friends again, I was caught between choosing  ‘MYSTIQUE’ or ‘SEDUCTIVE MYSTIQUE’. Being an Oliver twist, I decided to do both. Depends on what mood I was in whenever someone handed me their slum book to fill. If I felt like a ‘Mystique’, then Mystique it is; if I felt spicy at the time, then ‘Seductive’ came before the ‘M’😹. 

I still didn’t make the hall of fame with any of them. The only person who made me feel really welcomed with the name was one of my friends Tope, who had her  feet swept off in admiration that she had to nikky herself  ‘SEDUCTIVE SEDUCTRESS’ How insane?!😂😂 I remember hailing her to her face and screaming “bloody copy cat” in my mind😫. Asides from my unreserved hate for copycats, I deserved to be the only ‘seduction’ in school dammit! 😐

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Reflecting on how stupid the nicknames were, I should have left her to bear all of them. To date, Ayomide still taunts me with these nicknames. So if I become president tomorrow, this is how she’ll reveal one of my many foolish decisions in life right😫! Wicked girl!🤕 Not like hers was any better, who the f*** bears ‘Ayomzy Delight’?  Only hoodlums😂😂

names nickname
Source Cliparts

STILL FOOLISH?

Joining Facebook after secondary school and seeing the way people spelled their usernames started to tickle my fancy. For example, someone who bears ‘Ayomide’ refines the spelling to ‘Haryohmide’. Mehn that shit looked so dope to me and if I don’t belong, who will🙈? But it was so heartbreaking, all my many remixes didn’t sound nice and I wasn’t with my foolish friends anymore to help me figure it out. Looking back now, I bless God o, otherwise they would have given me a remix best for simpletons😂😂. However, I got one, all thanks to my ex.

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 What I was searching for was right beside me but I couldn’t see it… One day I decided to check my baby boy’s phone to see what he used in saving my number and boom! I saw ‘DHAUREYZ’… this was his remix for ‘DORIS’. It felt so cool, I adopted it without blinking, and to date, I use it for virtually everything; pseudonyms, emails, social media, etc. I know you are trying so hard to pronounce it 🤣🤣🤣… take it easy on yourself, a lot have bitten their tongues on that quest.

names nickname

DREAMS ACTUALLY DO COME THROUGH…

And the last one…. Hopefully not the least🎯…My long lost dream of having a nickname that replaces my own name finally came to pass in the university. Hurrayyyyy!!!💃💃 Blow the trumpets!!!🥳🥳  Oh, my days! Even though I blacklisted the hostel because of my experience with infection, I must admit my time spent there was exhilarating.  

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I like to believe I was a hot cake, I mean hot inside the brain o and maybe a portion of hot outside🤡. Then I used to be more involved in poetry, brewing, and writing everywhere in the school (for those who cared to read anyway😁). And then I got big news that I was nominated for the Nigerian Writers Award, for Poetry Writer of the year category. I was more shocked than excited when I saw the news online (this is a story for another Naked Minds gist😆). That type of shock where you recheck for the umpteenth time to see if it’s really your name and if it is, you’re still in shock because you think the news is for someone else who bears your exact names. That’s how I felt.

names nickname
Source- ArtStation

I broke the news to one of my close friends Victoria and before I knew it, she started hailing and shouting ‘UJU MALOO’… what is ‘MALOO’??? I had no idea but it sounded cool, although with a blend of ‘razness’, I loved it. That was how the name flew🚀. I stayed in the hostel for two years and throughout the time, I was either called ‘Maloo’ or ‘Uju Maloo’. Maloo is a Yoruba word and depending on the caller’s tone, it could mean ‘Go’ or ‘Come’. But to Victoria, she meant ‘Go’, more like “keep on moving and winning Uju”. 

Read: You Can Never Be Yourself!

To cut the story short, ‘Maloo’ faded as soon as I left the hostel😓. But of course, I still saw some of the hostel mates who would always shout it out whenever they saw me on the walkway or somewhere in the school😄. It always felt like home. Even now, whenever I hear someone speaking Yoruba and says ‘Maloo’, it has a way of putting a genuine smile on my face😁.

names nickname
Source- Deviant Art

THE ESSENCE

Although added a little spice to this article on publishing here, it’s actually a Naked Minds exclusive. You better join cause I won’t be betraying my coven anytime soon again😫. 

Asides that this is an intended fun post to get us to unwind and sign out gradually from this puzzle-twisting year, I wanted to poke the essence of names🌚. Names are either  powerful or impotent. Some are sweet, some are salty to the ears. Some sound so sweet yet  a profitless meaning💩…some are an ear sore, but got beautiful meaning. You hear some names and you’re like “Huh? You mean your parents actually gave you this name😳”…that embarrassing! I wouldn’t want to mention names lol.

name nickname
Source- Medium

Most part of me wanting a nickname by force was because I didn’t see my two names as good enough and soothing for my personality. Have you ever pondered on your name(s) and asked yourself “why me”? Why did my parents choose to call me this? Well, I did for ‘Doris’, still stuck on trying to love the name🙁. I couldn’t fall in love with it because of the many unappealing tones people prefer to pronounce it😤. I wish I could insert an audio sample🤧. But I’ve always loved Obianuju (since I got mature though), and even invested more love for it after my parents told me I was named ‘Obianuju’ because shortly after my birth they both bagged a huge salary increase at work. Obianuju means ‘Born into wealth’ …but the meaning of Doris always fluctuates between the ‘bad and good’ whenever I look it up😏. There’s never been a unified meaning, I think whoever invented the name was six feet buried in confusion at the time😬.

Read: Parents Are The Best Pretenders

Have you ever reflected on your names before?🤔 Heard some of you got like seven and counting🤠, unlike me, I wasn’t fortunate enough to be named by all the prominent members of my extended family🤣🤣. I’ll love to know your names and what you feel about them. Would you say they resonate with your personality or your parents deserve 600 years for such cruelty? 😂😂

Nickname name
Source- The New Yoker

Hmmmmm about my many nicknames 🤐… what’s yours and how did you come by it? I like to believe the way some of these nikky’s sound is the reason we choose them, not necessarily what they mean🤭. Did you at some point want a nickname so bad like I did? Do you have a past regrettable nickname🤣🤣? And you see that name, yes! That very one you use on IG and Twitter… How did you arrive there?  ‘Sexy posh’, ‘Dragon’, ‘Barbie doll’, ‘Cupcake’, “Renegade’ …Is that you? 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

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Warning!!! Do not try to taunt me with my first three nicknames, otherwise I go comot ya teeth just now😂😂. I’m curious to hear yours, I will try not to laugh. Common… Let me in😌, leave me a comment 😂😂👇👇

P.s. I want to propose that parents should leave about one or two name slots open until a child is grown so we can name ourselves according to our personalities. Dear future kids, I got you😆!

 

 

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5 min read

At some point in life, some things will happen to you that you may never be able to say to anyone. For everyday that passes, you keep heaping the grave you buried it with more sand, hoping to kill it finally but it still hurts. What even hurts more is not being able to talk to anyone and if ever you tried you start your conversation with “There’s a friend of mine who…”

Watching the latest direct by Kunle Afolayan, ‘Citation’, I’m being hunted by my own experience all over, an experience I’ve had locked in my closet, hoping never to open it up but the movie became a trigger.

Citation Review on Muttering Minds

Before delving into my experience, first I must give deserving accolades to the brains behind “Citation”, from the director; Kunle Afoloyan, the writer, Tunde Babalola, and to all the crew and casts for delivering their roles perfectly, especially the lead the act, Temi Otedola who plays the role of Moremi. Her performance was beyond the average for a debut role. She nailed it. Her fluent French-speaking was extraordinary too, made me want to go back to my French learning class…of course I will and this time take it more seriously. “Citation” also excels at portraying a good representation of Africa’s culture, from the littlest detail like costumes, to the locations and soundtracks.

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Since its release, many like myself have argued that the storyline is predictable and is not as mind-blowing as the hype presented it but however, it doesn’t invalidate it’s strong message. Does preaching against sexual assault every day dilute the intent? Some messages have to be preached recurrently no matter how predictable it might seem. Citation’s storyline goes beyond the screens. These things happen! It is real! There have been victims and still will be like Moremi who becomes a target prey for the likes of Professor Lucien N’Dyare (Jimmy Jean-Louis) in the movie.

Citation Review on Muttering Minds

MY STORY

Heard some opinionated people say “ohh but Moremi seemed like she was making some advancement too by getting close and helping her professor”. Hmmmmm…on reminiscing my university experience, I don’t know how I escaped from the sexual thirsty claws of my H.O.D and one other lecturer.

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Like Moremi, I was smart and intelligent and didn’t need to sort any lecturer to pass a course. I wasn’t loud in neither actions nor dress sense, very reserved to a fault still my H.O.D took a strange likeness in me. Before then, I remember vividly how our eyes met frequently at a departmental excursion while he was giving a speech. I thought it was only normal, I mean I wouldn’t have been the only one who caught his gaze at the time right? But this nigga summoned me afterward and started with some bullshit talk asking me if I liked him. I was dumbfounded, like how? Like an old man…yuck! Some deliberate laughs saved me that day but I had no idea it marked the genesis of problems for me in the department.

I was scared, I didn’t even know who to tell when he recurrently called me to his office, tormented me with phone calls, and even invited me to his hotel more than once. On one occasion it was a forceful atmosphere. I struggled with this old man; I cried and pleaded with him that I was a virgin. He overpowered me and slid his hands into my vagina forcefully. I was terrified and managed to let go of his grasp. Quickly dashed into the bathroom and locked myself, shivering & praying to God to save me. He made me swear on any of my late family’s names that I was a virgin. He’s one of those who attach some fetish belief to virginity, believes it’s sacred, and shouldn’t be taken forcefully. Without mincing words, I swore with my late grandmothers’ before he let me be and then promised to take good care of me in the department. Well, to hell with your smelling care sir! I avoided him like he owned a contagious disease.

Read: Sexual Advances and a Halt in the Milk Flow

I had another encounter with an idiotic lecturer who out of spite failed me twice for his courses in a semester. I was pissed, I cried, and out of anger went to confront him in his office and all he could say was ”Ahhh how can you of all people fail this course? I told you to come and see me didn’t I?”

Citation Review on Muttering Minds

FOOD FOR REASONING

“Citation” is an insightful film, it is as real as real life. I found none of the scenes exaggerated. Unlike me who couldn’t speak up, I commend Moremi for having the courage to take the matter up to the disciplinary committee of the school. Imagine throwing stones at a dog everyone saw as harmless? Everyone perceived Professor Lucien N’Dyare as a man of good character, calm, and profoundly knowledgeable in his field, and then boom! Moremi flips the script.

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Who should they believe? Of course the professor! Little wonder the majority of her coursemate testified in favor of the Professor.

Citation Review on Muttering Minds

In my case you might wonder, why did I visit him in the hotel? Couldn’t I have gone with a friend? Well, if you understand the weight at which some men in power can be oppressing to many then if you were in my shoes you’ll appear at the hotel gate before you hear ‘jack’. I didn’t want to fail, the man was so vile. Vile enough he knew how to clean traces before they’re imprinted. He made sure I switched off my phones on entry and had me submit them to him to avoid foul play.

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You might also wonder why Moremi was still cordial after the professors first attempt to kiss her huh? And even after the assault… well, you might never know the right way to behave except walking the exact shoes you condemn. What could she have done? Scream ‘Bloody Rapist’ whenever she sees him? Drop out of school?

Citation Review on Muttering Minds

I hope “Citation” creates the needed awareness for higher institutions to have a functional, accountable, and transparent disciplinary committee. I hope after watching, young girls and boys who have been harassed by their teachers and persons in authority can find their voice.

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Have you ever been harassed by a lecturer or person in authority? Have you ever been denied good grades, placement, or promotion because you refused to surrender your body? I’ll appreciate it if you share your experience in the comment section, especially how you dealt with it. Also, If you have watched “Citation”, would you have done anything different from Moremi? What are your reservations/lessons from the movie? Shall we…👇👇

 

 

 

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9 min read

“oooh Maloo open your legs now…don’t let me injure you with this thing now, cooperate so it can go in😖”…Jules said, in a frustrated tone and tensed stare, I could tell she’s had enough of me. “Shhh, ishhh😣…ah! ah! Jules, it’s paining me😩…is there no other way😢?” I responded while I lay down, fighting my thighs from closing up on her fingers. God knows, I needed them to open up but my thighs played like the morning glory flower, it was a struggle getting them to stay open at night whenever Jules called. She thought I didn’t want to give in, but I couldn’t explain why we had to struggle our way through my vagina every night. Pathetic😞!

This was our routine for more than a week, most nights I’ll cry and hope she forgets to call me up for it but no, Jules never forgot. She enjoyed taking care of me and will do anything to see I’m well and running. For me, the routine felt like exhausting my nine lives, getting them restored again only to die again the next night. Gosh😵! When will this be over😩😩?!

 vaginismus causes
Source- Blogger

 

BEFORE THEN…

“Babe carry disinfectant pour inside hot water, siddon on top for like 10 minutes, all these itchings go stop in no time💁‍♀️”… oh Nelly, my roommate in sophomore year with all the ugly and good advice. Funny how her voice still replays very fresh in my head. I had been rigorously itching my vagina for days and needed a quick solution🥴. Nelly was always a go-to, but this time around, her solution wasn’t lasting. Despite her recommended disinfectant ritual (vagina steaming), the itching got even more intense that one time, I was tempted to use the cover of my pen to brush the lips of my vagina, hoping it will get better once and for all but no😭.

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After the unfruitful merry go round, I decided to pitch a tent in the hospital. “Doris *****! Doris *****!”… “Present Ma🗣!”, I responded hesitantly while raising my voice. If you’ve ever visited a hospital in Nigeria, especially the ‘general’ ones, you already have an idea of how the nurses scream names like uncultured vultures🙄.  “It’s time for your swab, walk through the corridor and enter the last room by the left”. While I journeyed through the corridor, the word ‘swab remained restless in my head. I kept wondering what manner of murder I signed up for. Ah! Swab?🤔 Or did she say swap😧? I got to the room and met four female nurses, one instructed me to take off my pants and lay on the bed. “Your pants ke?! Why😱?”… my mind was bombarding me with questions I had no answers to😤.

my vagina
source- Metro

I couldn’t find my calm🥶, I laid down on the bed with my pants off and the nurse approached me with an equipment that had a cotton bud-like tip. Apparently, that’s the swab. Immediately my facial expression got sourer🤢. “Errm errm, what do you want to do🥺?” I managed to confront the nurse with a jittery tone. “I don’t have time for questions, open your legs wide please😐”(of course rudeness is the only surgery general hospital nurses perform 100 percent successfully🙄)…Ah! immediately I jumped off the bed and started weeping. If a 6th party had come into the room, he/she would have thought I was about to be sacrificed for rituals. “No! No! I am not opening my legs, I want to go home, I am not doing again😫😫”, I fell in a pool of my tears while staggering to wear my pants and Jean. Afterward, I picked my bag and stood by the door, staring at the nurses. It was like the scenario of a child warned by the mother not to go outside but he feels crying will make the mother let him so he weeps till infinity hoping to hear “Okay…go…”

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The nurses were confused. What sin could they have committed to warrant God blessing them with an adult who couldn’t take a simple seven-word instruction; “Lay down and open your legs wide”🤔.

“What’s wrong?” one of the nurses was kind enough to ask. “Please don’t put anything inside my vagina😫😫”…I yelled amid my crying profusely.

my vagina

SOURCE OF MY FEAR

Zero thanks to Nollywood🙄🤡, a girl has sex for the first time or is raped in a movie and the amount of blood that trickles down her laps and soaks the behind of her dress is the amount of a mini- ocean🥴😵. And then the wails, no consolation prize could stop it😪😪. These movies messed with my childhood/teenage life, I hated sexual talk and could never have a successful fantasy of anything going close to my vagina; not even my fingers😤.

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And here I am, with four strange nurses, they better kill me because I’m not opening these legs. “Are you a virgin?”, one of them asked, I responded in the affirmative. “How come you have an infection?”. Well, I wouldn’t know🙄, not like I’ve been living a little in the ‘just the tip’ paradise with some boy anyway🙄. At that time, the hostel was a mess and my room was two rooms apart from the hostel toilet, poop flooded the corridor and there was no Noah’s ark to run to for refuge🤮. Dammit! the cleaners were on strike😩. Despite covering my nose whilst passing through the corridor, my pants were no bulletproof to save my vagina from receiving a bad gift😖. This was the only logical explanation I could link to me being infected. In the hostel, it was fondly referred to as toilet infection but the ‘too knows’🙄 said it was a Sexually Transmitted Infection. Who am I to argue🤷‍♀️?

Can You Get an STD from a Toilet Seat?
Source: Flo

Since I was afraid, the nurse told me to help myself but I couldn’t😔. I was so scared to touch my own body, what if I put it and blood starts gushing out and they can’t help🥴? I had a weird mental picture of things going south. Then she assured me they weren’t putting the whole swab inside, just the tip to get some fluid to run a test. With my heart in my mouth, I gave in😴.

AFTER THEN…

When the result came out, it was no news I had an infection, the only news which was in fact bad for me was that I was given vagina pills to insert daily inside my vagina🤯. Fucking hell!🤯 You and who😳?! I am a preacher of ‘complete your dose so the illness doesn’t come back’, but this was beyond me. I was going to discard the pills.

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On my way to my hostel, I called an older male friend who knew the whole ordeal. “Michael! I am dead😩! They gave me something to be putting inside, I can’t😩😫” I cried so much over the phone that people on the bus thought I must have lost someone. I wondered why I had to go through such, oh lord, have my sins overflown the cup you had to plague me with this😫? it appeared like a very severe illness to me, as a matter of fact, I had never heard of it until then. I went to Micheal’s hostel and that was when he called on Jules his bestie. I had met Jules on some occasion before then because we attended the same fellowship, unluckily for me, she was willing to help me😞. So sad, I needed someone at that time to support my motion of throwing the entire pills but no, elder Jules and Michael betrayed me☹. I packed my bags from the hostel and went to join Jules off-campus. It was an enjoyable time, asides from the first five nights where I had to open my thighs against their will so that Doctor Jules can insert the pills😖.

Vagina pills
Sample of vagina Pills (Source- Flo)

CARRYING MY CROSS WITHOUT SIMON OF CYRENE TO HELP

Finally, I became free from all the itching, it was time for holiday and I was home🤓. But guess who decided to not go on holiday? The Devil😢! About two weeks into the holidays, he plagued me with itching five times more than the last😩😩. Who do I run to😭? What if my mum thinks I’ve been having sex in school😭😭? Where the hell is JULESSS😵!! So many questions but the same answer. “Try Nelly’s advice again, maybe it could work this time”. Well, I did, but it failed🙄.

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I had to tell my mum in a strange way. “Ah toilet infection🤯!” she exclaimed. I took a deep relief breath🥵, thank God, she didn’t call it STI😊. She agreed to go to the pharmacy for me. The head pharmacist spoke to me over the phone and said since the infection came back despite completing my dose, it means I didn’t treat my sexual partner. What rubbish🙄?! What’s with everyone thinking everyone has sex🙄?! “Ah no oooo😱! Which sexual partner😳?!” I made sure to scream. She gave a boring laugh and said okay, then it’s cause I didn’t change my undies. Why on earth was this not the first thing she said for Christ’s sake😐! To think my mum heard all that crap.

Is It Normal For my Vagina to Burn - Causes of Vaginal Burning
Source- Cosmopolitan

My mum got home, bearing a bad gift. Vagina pills again😞! Oh, dear Jesus save me😩! She handed me the pills and prescriptions. How casual it is to say, does this woman even understand that I can’t do this myself😫?

AN AMAZING DISCOVERY

To God be my glory, after lying to her that I was almost done with the pills yet suffering a grave itch on the side, I finally came up with a solution🤓. I remembered I had a large part of a broken mirror in my room. I reached for it, put it on the floor, and squatted. The mirror was in-between, while my legs were wide apart🤭.

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For the first time in my twenty-one years of living this earth, I saw a vagina😱, my vagina🤯! And what she looked like. “Ewwwwww🤮”, I cringed and started crying because I didn’t know what to do next😫. I felt like a failure. Where do I insert these pills🥺? God! So I reasoned to let out a few drops of pee on the mirror, wherever the pee comes out from should be my answer.  To my surprise, the pee hole(urethral opening)  was as good as a full stop😳. I never knew, I thought we peed through the vagina you know. As the angels would have it, I saw another slimy opening that looked more rational than a full stop🤓. 

What Does A Vagina Taste Like? Guys Reveal What They Think It Tastes Like Down There
Source- Elite Daily

“Eisshh eiii🤢, uhmmmm😖”…  so much discomfort, inserting the pills myself in the vagina opening. I did that for five days not without the help of the mirror though. Whew!

SEX EDUCATION AT HOME?

I have been binge-watching MTV Shuga…I know right😏, I’m late to the party😌. But it doesn’t overlook the fact that the series is very educational; one of the scenes made me recall this version of my past and also the sexual awareness preached by the parent actors to their children💯. 

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Despite having to insert the pills myself, it didn’t make the sexual phobia (genophobia) go away😞. For a long time, I found myself cringing at the mention of sex or penetration🤢; those Nollywood rape scenes rented an apartment in my head for donkey years. I could never think of sex as pleasurable but too much blood and pain🤢. I couldn’t talk to anyone at home either. Kid you not, to date, the only time I and my mum were any close to talking about sex was when the pharmacists mentioned ‘sexual partner’. I somehow hoped that when she gets home, she will revisit the topic but apparently, she’s been practicing a ‘Fem’ ritual a long time ago even before Davido dreamt of preaching the message😊. Till today, some type of sex talks still feels discomforting but thank gracious Google’s always my first aid🤓.

Parents and sex education (vagina)
Source- Yahoo News Canada

I’ll like to know, do you or have you ever discussed sex with your parents or anyone in your family🤔? If yes or No, how does it feel😄? Do you wish any different😔? Also, like me, has there been a time where you found an amazing discovery concerning your body like I did with my vagina😄? If you’ve ever had a toilet infection or STI, how did you manage the phase🥺? And most importantly, did you ever pass through sexual phobia😖? Or you currently are🤢? What triggered it and how were (are) you able to deal with it? Let’s discuss this further in the comment section👇👇.

 

 

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