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February 2021

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9 min read

Brushing my fingertips round and about my pubic hairs spread across my pelvic and around the lips of my vagina on many nights I’ve lost count, it is such a sweet feeling I cannot explain🤤. I play with the hairs, untangle them whilst scrolling through Instagram feeds with my other hand or trying to put me to bed. You can’t tell me otherwise, this is the best self-inflicting lullaby in the world🛌. So unfortunate, babies do not have pubic hairs, I could have recommended this therapy for nursing mums. Lol, I bet you just pictured a baby having pubic hairs🤣. At times I shave and I’m angry cause there’s nothing to hypnotize me in bed for the next two weeks🥲. How funny, Sometimes I forget I cleared the lawn, I happily dip my hands in my panties only to have my fingers walk on a distasteful bald head, yuck! What a bad night for the cut😒!? Shaving is no doubt sexy but I’ll rather not a clean one, trimming is my holy grail🤤. Ps. this does not apply to my underarm😑.

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I feel it’s absolutely normal to itch your pelvic region and smell it. I’m always eager to know what it smells like😴. I hate the hypocrisy on social media, remind me of that Big Brother Naija housemate who was caught on camera digging for some gold down there and went ahead to smell the roses afterward😂. He attracted so much mockery for doing something normal. Best believe for every 9 out of 10, whenever my fingers find themselves in my pelvic, once they’re out, I sniff😇. I want to know what I smell like always, I want to know how awful or sweet,  if they need more work or you know😉. How do I present a feast I have no idea how it tastes to the sons of men to devour🤭? It’s like cooking for a guest without tasting it, how do you know if it needs more or less salt or maybe pepper? Let’s quit the pretense, please. Damn you! I also smell my panties most times when I take them off🙄.

pubic hair fondling
Source- E-quick

Sleep- You’ll mostly find me hugging my pillow or having it tucked in-between my legs when I’m asleep. And if I’m not sleeping stark naked, I’m either sleeping with only a polo on or wearing only my pants. And if push comes to shove with the weather, my pyjamas and hoodie comes to my rescue🛌.

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Love- Jokes on the big idiot who came up with the phrase “love don’t cost a thing”, such foolish talk😑! to please who if I may ask? Love costs many things for me, apart from time and money, I hate that it keeps me on my toes, sometimes I’m so grounded in work and for an entire six hours, I’ve forgotten I have a boyfriend😖. And my phone beeps, shit! This nigga beat me to it, I guess he just remembered he has a girlfriend too😂.

pubic hair dating meme

Family- This is where forced love takes seed in me. I wish I could tell everyone off on this tree sometimes, but I’ve grown to realize the way they are unbearable sometimes to me is the same way I am to them🥺. I’m so unclear to my family members, I’ve learned to save them the trauma of discovering who I truly am and I think it’s okay😊. The most important thing is that I fulfill my quota as a member and everyone does the same, this way we find happiness🤗.

pubic hairs

Kids- I’m ashamed to admit I got zero tolerance for kids🥴, the same way I react over an adult’s mistake of spilling water on the floor, is the same way I react when a kid does same😑. I feel like I need saving in this regard because I intend to  birth kids someday too😍.

pubic hair stand kids

Friends– I have a handful of close friends, lowkey I think they are angry at me for not picking a best😏. But picking a best will make me solely dependent on someone who thinks it’s okay to be foolish even at serious moments🤣. I often wonder why good friends first laugh at your misery before figuring how to help though. Also what if I pick a best friend who cannot provide me with all the solutions? Friendship should be treated like work too, just like we deliver on our areas of strengths at work, friendship should be the same😁. Don’t you dare stress my brain! You ought to have several options to run to.

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Dogs- I have two dogs and I wish they could talk, like real talk🗣. I figure I’ve made some wrong turns in life, I could use their advice because humans have failed me in this regard😖. I hate it when someone tries to mimic my dogs when they bark or say “shut up!” “stupid dog”, and then they project some boring laughter too, perhaps laughing at their own stupidity because I don’t get what’s so funny😖? Utterly disrespectful! How do you see a dog and resolve to insults and sometimes throw stones🥺? I often wish I could release my dogs for a chase so we’ll see who gets the last laugh😑. Whenever I hear tales that someone got bitten by a dog, in my mind I’m happy, dancing for joy🤣. Excuse me sir/ma, what did you do? I need to hear from the other party. Gosh! I really wish dogs could talk🥺.

dogs memes pubic hair
Source- Reddit

Colleagues- (Except for few exceptions) If we work in the same place, I find it offensive that you’re looking me up on social media🙄. Trying to know how crazy my family is or what’s off about my personality? Why though?? Why do you wanna know me?? The only business we should have is work, I play my part excellently and that’s it😐. Office get-togethers have got to be the sickest initiative to come into existence, now what?? Should I get drunk in front of you all and dance my titties out🙄? Hell no! You won’t even come as far as viewing my WhatsApp status, I block you if I have to save your number and if I on a day the Lord made find your status on my feed, you’re blocked immediately. Honey, I do not wish to know you on that level, okay?😶

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Nice- “I think you’re nice Uju, can we be friends?” For reasons best known to God, I still haven’t figured out why I hate being classified as “nice”🤣. I feel the word holds so much sentiment and should be used in describing anyone.  Ps. I’m not nice! don’t put me on that pedestal because by the time you see a fraction of my craze, you’ll feel like you’ve betrayed yourself and that shit hurts🧐. The word ‘nice’ messes so bad with my brain to a grave extent that if you ever say to me “I need you to meet *****, he’s a nice man”, I swear, I’m not meeting them🙄. And then when I ask you “how’s my outfit?”, you respond “It’s nice”, I automatically conclude you lack the core ingredients of being human, you should be a paper bag or something😪.

nice guy synrome pubic hair
Source- Reddit

Food- Work comes first for me, for a fact, if I’m not getting a task right, I don’t see why I should eat🧐. Sometimes I feel my stomach groaning for help but my coconut brain is trying to finish up a task first so I plead with my stomach to plead with my brain to come through so that we all can be happy😁. Food tastes so much better for me when my mind is fulfilled on a task👍.

Sweets- I chew sweets the moment they land their feet on my tongue, Do you lick or chew sweets? Do people really lick sweets? Do you? 🤔

Looks- Not my client getting thrilled after visiting this website (Muttering Minds) and affirming he wouldn’t pay me my balance until he sees what I look like. Must be crack right😏? What is it with people and wanting to know how I look? Enjoy the conversation dammit😑! I prefer to commune via chats (mails especially) with people I don’t know from adam, I don’t care to imagine how or what they look like. You soil the relationship the moment you ask to see what I look like😑. Don’t ask! I’ll randomly send you jpegs on my very good days, be patient😂.

i didn't ask, I don't care pubic hair

Phone Calls-  I slightly get irked or really irritated whenever my phone rings especially if I’m not expecting a delivery😒. More than half the time I don’t pick up, I find myself contemplating a thousand and over reasons why you must be calling me😏. Text is better, it lessens my anxiety. The most annoying thing is calling me when my phone’s hotspot is connected to my laptop☹, now I how to wait for your call to stop before I continue working, the audacity! My mum is guilty of this, I’ve pleaded with her several times to call me preferably on Whatsapp if she must but no, African parents make the rules🤦‍♀️. She rings my phone for every reason in the world, sometimes she calls me just to tell me how she doesn’t understand why my dad is not picking her calls and that I should check if he’s home, I figure my dad is tired too🤣. I enjoy phone calls sometimes though, but that’s rare.

pubic hair I hate phone calls

STUPID STATEMENTS/ QUESTIONS PEOPLE ASK

“In no particular Order”- I automatically conclude you’re a blatant liar the moment you say this before calling out names. The first few names you called are the ones most important to you; they wouldn’t come first in your head if they aren’t, so quit lying through your teeth😑.

“Kindly follow back”– Hellooo!!! I’ve seen you followed me and that’s on you🙄. Now can you let me decide if to follow back or not? Is it supposed to be blood for blood🙄?

“Are you good in bed?”– How do you expect me to know? So dumb! 😖 You should ask people who’ve had their share of the cake. Besides its relative, what’s good for them might be bad for you🙅‍♀️.

pubic hair crush memes

“Do you have a crush?”- I’m sorry I cannot relate🙄, especially with how people describe what their crushes do to them. I am not possessed please🤣🤣.

“What’s your best color?”- If I’ve ever given you an answer to this question, I was only trying to curtail your leeching curiosity🤣. I do not have a best color, yellow can look good on a tee but very alarming on my feet. It depends on the item really. If you have a favorite color you are a cow🤣🤣

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“Can you do me a Favor?”- Do you expect me to say no upfront☹? Don’t start a conversation with me on these lines, go ahead and say what you want, and then leave my capacity to be the judge😐.

pubic hair- can you do me a favor

NOW PICK THE BATON!!

Sure you’ve been wondering what kind of individual wears such a weighty personality🤣🤣. Well, that’s me and I may be pleased to meet you too🤭. This week  I took time to think introspectively about my personality, especially these bits. I realize that they go a long way in defining my personhood😄. I thought of sharing it with you all, with high hopes that you’ll check my list or cross them😁. It’s a long list I know, but I’m curious to ask, do we share some traits at least😅? Tell me what and what we have in common😉, and which of them leaves you in shock🤣🤣.  You can also add more to your list even the ones I didn’t state. I’m somewhat happy I got to write this so that whenever someone harrasses me with the “tell me about yourself” question, I’ll just pull up with this link🤣🤣🤣. God bless their aching souls they hate reading 🤣🤣🤣.

As usual, I’ll kill a roach to have your comments so please, indulge me. Tell me about you too and how connected we are in the comments section. 😄👇👇

 

 

 

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7 min read

Rules are slippery, especially the ones we’ve set for ourselves. You hold so hard and because you’re not accountable to no one, it sometimes becomes like a cube of melting ice in your palm, the more you cling to it, the more you lose grip. When it comes to finding attraction, nursing it, and maybe turning it into love, we all have our preferences and barriers, but sometimes these urges treat us like Judas. I used to tell myself that no matter the amount of horniness my body exuded, the office space was definitely out of the question. But hell no, the office space hath no danger like my gasping libido.

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So this very day I was at work and felt the pressing need to pee, I could not use the gents because I was outside the office building so I resolved to make use of a sharp corner outside (typical Nigerian man style). I was completely jolted from my pressure relief as I heard my boss called my name at a very close range. “Romeo! Romeo!” I never heard any footsteps prior to then, perhaps I was too carried away obeying the call of nature and enjoying the soothing relief. 

office romance
Source- Giphy

Still letting out urine, I turned slightly to my left, and behold, my boss stood, lust, watching the size of my dick as it relieved itself. Her gaze made me shocked too that we both stood transfixed staring at each other in a synchronous surprising mood for a few seconds. To make matters worse, I could not bury my dick back into my brief as it all happened in the middle of the shower. She surprisingly stood and watched until the last drop. I jingled the bell and tucked my dick in while acting like it was nothing but an unplanned occurrence. I guess that awakened her consciousness as she breathed and whisked me off to point out a flaw in a work I did earlier. We both acted as nothing happened. 

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My boss is a very beautiful woman who is moderately tall and has a well-built body. We both have a very cordial relationship, we make jokes about almost anything and we both are sort of close. After that day, I could read from her mood around me that she was quite disturbed about the incident. Whatever she had in mind I could not tell but she sure wore a strange countenance. Also, days after the incident, she took an interest in addressing me as ‘big boy‘ and sometimes joked with me saying she is sure my girlfriends are lucky. Well, I didn’t overthink it as we were cordial before what happened and slightly used to have relationship conversations and other topics that transcend workplace stuff, but never did we cross the line of erotic thoughts for each other.

office romance
Source- GreenHouse

OOPS!!!

“Don’t your girls complain of your size?” huh!! I didn’t know the reaction to give on this fateful day when she threw the question from the blues. We had coincidentally closed late from work as I had to finish some jobs that day in her private office space. As expected, two idle minds trying to keep each other company in a silent space, we delved into a variety of topics, sex inclusive.  

Read: Sexual Advances and a Halt in the Milk Flow

The question had my head rotating 360 but gosh! I couldn’t feign ignorance as the nature of our discussion had already laid a foundation for such. I shyly responded “No” without looking her in the eye and this made us both giggle at each other. She then opened up to me about how that incident messed up her day and still sometimes fucks with her head. That moment where someone lets you in on their secret and you gotta play cool so that they feel comfortable, I made her believe it was nothing. “Can I catch a little glimpse again?” Huh?! Did I hear correctly or my ears are messing with me? Did my boss just ask to see my dick?! Wow! I wasn’t sure how to react, putting two and two together wasn’t forthcoming. Should I unzip my trousers? Is this a fucking test? My dick was already giving some tensioning nods inside my briefs. 

Image result for hard erection inside jeans
Source- Daily Mail

The farthest I’ve heard this kind of scene occurred is usually on pornhub (boss sucks and squeezes secretary’s titties after work🤭).  Never thought a day like that would come where I’ll have my share of office romance. While she stared waiting for my next move, I found myself unhooking my belt, I then dropped my boxers, and showed her my dick. The tension in the room became too high, she stared at my dick like she wanted something more. Dumbfounded! my adrenaline was pumping high, I became fully erect. 

Read: When You No Longer Work There

“Wow”, she said, breaking the silence. “Care to touch some?” I responded. At this point she’s seen it all, so I didn’t care if my questions crossed the line. It felt like I could hear her heartbeat loud and clear, she came closer and reached for my dick. From little strokes to very fast ones, my dick got engulfed in a highly pitched massage. Just when I thought she still had a little shyness reserved, she gleefully went down on me with a blowjob. I won’t lie, she good. I saw her transform from the gentle boss I thought she was to a wilding just the way I like it. She demanded I gagged her with my dick pounding in her mouth which I obliged and after a while, I erupted in her mouth. Although she didn’t let me insert in her orifice, I had enough pussy juice to lap on and also tongued her soft rounded ass. What a day! This was the start of our office romance. 

office sex
Source- Dollar Shave Club

Subsequently, we developed the habit of working late hours just to have sex or meeting at secluded places to have quickies. I recollect pounding her on her table, giving her doggy not less than twice in her toilet, and of course, tending to her facesitting fetish which became our routine during foreplay. Anyone who has fetishes would understand the pleasure derived from it. We almost got caught and that was the end of our office sex. Although we still had it one more time after then, we did a whole lot outside the office thereafter.

Should You Have Office Romance?

I’ve seen a lot of folks vehemently rebuke the idea of dating or having a fling with someone in their workspace, department, church, etc. well I also was that way too. However in this case, my boss was actually a switch. She knew how to assume the role of a boss whenever people were around, you could even swear I was her least preferred staff.  We also did not let the romance get into business. We were mature enough to separate the two into parallel lines that never met. 

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office romance
Source- Cutting Edge PR

Office romance 90% of the time is inevitable, it’s the same way you see a random chic in your hood or church and fall in love or play dirty with. And like every relationship has some subliminal rules, one founded in the office should too. My advice to anyone who wants to try office romance is you have to be very discreet and mature enough to handle it. 

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I’ve read beautiful stories of co-workers falling in love and eventually getting married. Likewise, some stories ending in premium tears. In my case, a happy ever after wasn’t the goal though, I really enjoyed my time with her and made up my mind to not be pissed whenever it came to a halt. And yeah it ended,  boss had to fly overseas to further her studies. office romance

Have you ever had a fling or dated anyone in the same workspace with you? How did it turn out? And If you’re averse to having romantic affairs with your colleagues, I’ll like to know why. Also, why is it that office management frowns at love affairs in the workspace? I’m of the opinion that since it involves two adults who know how to effectively go about their daily activities, it shouldn’t be a big deal you know. What do you think? I’ll like to hear your experience and take too in the comment section😅👇.

 

 

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7 min read

The muscles on my thighs vibrate, hanging halfway in the air whilst his pelvic pounds hard on mine as they position rightly between them. My hands are spread apart like a crucifix and my fingers at both sides yearn to grab bits of the bedsheet for support amid the intense movement of his joystick in and inner my vagina. I’m on a cloud nine gasping for air on a missionary 5.0 journey, my moans filled the room, not sure what words my lips call “ummmmh moooahhh ahaaa haaa”,  I bite my lips softly too.

My ears and face are greeted warmly by his breath rush; he’s still hitting hard on my inner walls like he needs to unlock a new limit. He’s lost in the moment, never seen him this vulnerable at the mercy of every region my body holds. How do I get him to stop? This is surreal! But I love to be the one on top you know, moving my waistline celestially while his project overwhelms me beneath with beautiful strokes.  “Aaahhh ummm…stoppp baby…aaahhh”, I moaned unclearly, and whilst still in, he looks at me seductively in the eyes, withdraws his dick two inches away, and starts sucking intensely on my tits. Oh gracious me, what have I done to warrant this sweetly heavenly gift on a platter?! No matter what mood I’m wearing, I’ll kill to have my aurelia pampered, my nipples sucked, pinched, and bitten softly. Forget the clitoris; my tits’ my g-spot!

Read: My First Sex Experience; Take Back Home
valentine's sex
Source- XNXX

Ooh dammit! My head clicked, it’s Valentine’s Day! Chris had mentioned on previous nights that he’ll go overboard to sweep me off my clit and here I am wondering if he is on some Viagra.  Never have I wanted more from a valentine’s sex. Finally, I feel a warm outpour inside me, awwwww, he’s gotten a valentine’s orgasm, yet he tries to morsel some more strokes but his dick melts softly and slips away from my vagina. “Good morning baby”, he says shortly after pecking me on the lips. “Happy Valentine’s sex mi lover”, I wore so much satisfaction in my face even though low-key I wished I was the one on top and also had an orgasm. But it’s no biggie, there’s an eternity for me to enjoy him scrubbing his carrot in my oven.

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My guts were so excited that morning I felt he had more up his sleeves but I couldn’t tell what and what exactly. Was he gonna propose? We had been dating for six months, he gets me and I think I do the same for him too. The sex he brings to the table’s so fiery, smiles on his face crossed the borders of perfection, and the way he cares about me, sometimes I’m prompted to ask “Baby are you Jesus?” I once read somewhere that every man should experience a fraction of heaven at least here on earth. Chris is my heaven and did I mention, he’s an exceptional cook, you should have a fill of his shrimp jollof rice or egg sauce with vegetables and cuts of mackerel, I promise you’ll want my man even though you’re a man. This is a fact!

cuddle naked on valentine's sex
Source- Pintrest

Still lying nude and wrapped in his embrace whilst my boobs pressed hard on his chest and kissing him, Chris stretched his left hand and opened the drawer by the side of the bed; he kissed my forehead and said “Open it baby”.  It’s an envelope, but what could be inside? I sat upright and pressed on the envelope with my fingers, trying to see if I could guess what was inside. Felt like a bunch of paper and my mind thought “O dear! Could it be money? Preferably dollars?” I poured the content on the bed and OMG! Complete papers for an all-expense-paid trip to Bora Bora!!

valentine's sex

I’ve always gushed about how much I craved relaxing at Matira beach and playing around its crystal clear waters and soft sand. He’s also an adventure lover who amongst many islands in the world has his mind more fixated on visiting the Dormant Volcano and Mount Otemanu for some challenging hiking. “Gosh! baby I love you so much!”…I couldn’t hold my excitement, it was the break I needed, I grabbed him by the neck and started to kiss him so hard yet passionately. Oh Chris, nothing more validates you’re more than my fraction of heaven on this earth that I live. Finally, I got my desired break, away from the backache that comes with slouching to write, away from the world but with my world Chris❤.

best place for valentine's sex

 

SNAPBACK TO REALITY😭

🤣🤣🤣🤣 This was me some nights ago romanticizing my thoughts on how I’ll love to celebrate valentine at least for a first🤭. I thought so deeply about these scenes and I said to myself “You know what? Since you have no idea what to post for Valentine, why not pen this?” I also figured it’ll be a good way to test my skills in writing some fiction sex story, not sure I’ve ever written fiction before. So be the judge, how did I fare? Good or? 

Hmmmmm about valentine’s day…am I the only one who has never had a proper valentine’s celebration before?💁‍♀️ I intended to do a “throwback to my first valentine” post and I reminisced on the past only to realize none of the memories hold water🥲. I asked my friend Nneoma if she could be a contributor to sustain a good story and she sent me a VN that fucking killed me with laughter🤣🤣🤣. “Ujunwa should I tell you the truth? You no go believe me if I tell you this thing o.” She went ahead. “I’ve never had a valentine’s gift, I’ve never had a valentine’s date. Most times I spend my valentine evenings in the church because we always have a program for the youths, you know all these relationship talks and stuff. I’ve never had a valentine’s date o😪, you know most times I no know whether dem swear for me o. Like this now, the guy I’ve been dating since August last year, Just January, he said it’s over. So you see, I’m cursed. Maybe by March, I’ll get another boyfriend as they always skip the February part. I’ve never had a valentine’s gift from anybody, not even a hello friend. Sha pray for me on that matter so that I go fit contribute to your valentine post next year”.

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before valentine's sex

Her response made me laugh so hard that at the end of it, I realized many of us had the same story too🤣🤣🤣. Last year was slightly different for me though, I got to exchange gifts with bae but that was after the pressure sunk into our guts. I’ve never been so aware of valentine until last year as I was one of those who felt the day doesn’t cut it. You know that very bullshit talk “Valentine is overrated, I can show my bae love anytime”, the blood of Christ🥺! I didn’t know it was my broke spirit clouding my judgment🤣🤣.

valentine's sex

But last year, from the workspace, I got depressed seeing all the lovey-dovey moves on social media and even in the office😔. “Are these ones mad? Bloody show-offs🙄🙄”, I cursed under my breath seeing my boss’s husband showing up at the office with surprise flowers and other eye-watering gifts for his wife🤣🤣. Also, my other colleagues received gifts, frankly, I wished I had superpowers to vanish my existence from the office that very minute. My heart was bleeding!!😪

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valentine's sex surprise

“Yes hello🙄,” I picked bae’s call rolling my eyes. He went talking about some other stuff that didn’t matter at the time. In my mind, I was like “Is it that this man lives on another planet for God’s sake😣! Doesn’t he have a phone? Can’t he see💁‍♀️!” Very likely he noticed I wasn’t sounding all excited, so after a while, he asked: “What would you love for valentine’s day baby”. There was a sudden leap in my heart, it screamed: “Thank you Jesus!!! the young man got sight after all”🤣🤣.

Read: Men Talk! How To Get Rid of Boners in Public

Normal ladies trick, I began beating around the bush like I do not already have a thousand and over screenshots of likely gifts from IG😅. Well to cut the story short, bae later opened up to me about not being a valentine’s person too but all he’s been seeing online made him question his existence🤣🤣. He had the mind of not getting me anything as he felt it didn’t matter to me too. “God saved you🙄”, I screamed in my mind as he narrated. And yessssss we got our gifts and this year also we’ve already gotten gift sets for ourselves too because we are both averse to going out on Valentine’s Day🤮. I totally hate the idea of everyone thinking I’m all out to fornicate on that day🤭, I’ll rather cuddle my pillow and of course watch all the love shenanigans on the gram😁.

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most memorable valentine's sex

How about you? Have you ever had a memorable valentine or you’re like my friend Nneoma🤭? Also like I narrated my valentine’s fantasy, do you have any you’re nursing too? It’ll be great if you share in the comments section. Common! Don’t hold back, I love to hear all about your valentine escapades and generally what you feel about Valentine😅. Leave me a comment baby.👇👇

 

 

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6 min read

Hello Muttering Minds, I feel too broken at heart to say the least and I’m hoping you can share my story…

What is love really? What’s the essence of love if at the end of the day family still has to decide who you should love? What is love if we still have to abide by the rules our forefathers made a thousand years before we were born?

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In 2016, I met this lovely dude, we kicked off as friends and so quickly started to share a special affection for each other. We fell in love without any friction and by mid-2017, we started dating. So much love to give, he’s cool, romantic, and sweetly annoying. Despite our silly fights and challenges, we always have ways of overcoming as a couple.

osu caste
“So much love to give, he’s cool, romantic, and sweetly annoying” ( Pic source- The Grand Home Design)

Dude knows how to tolerate my mood swings which could sometimes cross the border, but we cool. I don’t know if words do justice to how much I am in love with him but it is what it is. We’ve been through low blows, tear-jerking moments and for a fact, he makes me believe in the existence of true love that I cannot help but imagine spending the rest of my life with him. He’s a romantic.

Read: Finding Your ‘Spec’ and the Flipsides

At last year’s crossover (2020), I got to meet his family. Prior to the time, I usually felt nervous over the thought of “meeting the family” (I guess it’s normal). I always imagined most importantly if they’d like me, how to behave, you know these horror mother-in-law stories we hear. But his is different. The few days I spent with his family felt like I had known them for ages. The love was so genuine, it wasn’t one of those where you can smell pretense, No! I felt really welcomed. I could tell that love lives in his family. 

osu caste system
“I could tell that love lives in his family” (pic source- Yes! Magazine)

Fast forward to meeting mine to discuss marriage… My man also had the same phobia, he decided seeing my mum first will be best as he believes she could talk on his behalf to my dad first. According to him, most fathers are usually not arms open at the first meeting, which I agreed to. Fortunately, he found favor in my mum’s eyes, she thought he was cool, so we decided to climb the step further to meet my dad.

 

The Shocker!

My man visited home and got talking with my dad. I hail from the eastern part of Nigeria, I’m Igbo, and precisely from Imo state likewise my man. In my culture, when a man comes to seek a lady’s hand in marriage (popularly called ‘knocking on the door’), asking where he’s from, his origin, is a primary question.

Read: Scary Tales About Marriage; Should the Union Have An Expiry Date?

My dad inquired about his roots, the name of his village, and stuff. As soon as he mentioned the name of his village, my dad’s facial expression became sour. “We do not marry from this place! We do not marry your people, it is an abomination!”, my dad said without remorse, adding that he would make further investigation again about my man’s village.  It happens that my man is an Osu (outcast).

osu caste system
“My dad’s facial expression became sour” (image source- It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia)

 

Osu Practice In Igbo Land

If you’re not Igbo (even some Igbo’s don’t know this), the Osu caste system is as old as the Igbo tradition. The origin dates back to the era where Igbo villages were ruled by the laws of the earth Odinani. The deity known as Ala had some rules that must be obeyed (just like a country has its constitution). Those who broke any of these rules or were found guilty of grave offenses were cast away from the land as it was believed their presence will bring ill fortune to the village. The offenders were regarded as Osu. Sometimes the Osu’s could be used as slaves or sold for slavery or enslaved in shrines to serve the deities ruling the land and also if the community needed a human’s blood sacrifice for cleansing or during festivals, the Osu’s were used. Osu’s were also deprived of homes and made to sleep in shrines or marketplaces.

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Image result for osu caste system images
Pic Source- Gospel Blaze

The Osu’s were not allowed to have social interactions let alone marriage with the freeborns (non-offenders) as they are considered as bad luck. It is fondly said that whenever a freeborn marries an Osu, his/her life turns around for the worst. In modern times, some Igbo traditional rulers like the Obi of Onitsha in October 2018, made a move to ensure the Osu caste system is abolished. Also, some traditional leaders in Oguta Local Government filed a motion to end the madness, urging that people do not deserve to face the wrath that comes with the sins of their age-long ancestors. I also read somewhere that Nnamdi Azikwe while he was alive moved a motion for the abolishment in 1956 in the Eastern Nigerian House of Assembly but it was a fruitless motion.

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Image result for osu caste system images
Pic Source- Medium

So far, some parts of Igbo land claim it’s no longer practiced but a greater number still hold it highly even though modernization has quenched the loudness surrounding it.

osu caste system

I’m Broken

Imagine one person in your lineage committed a crime as far back as a thousand years ago and you still suffer the punishment/ discrimination in this 21st century. I’m broken, I’m confused, and I feel too hurt. My dad has refused to give ears to whatever concerns marriage to my man despite my man saying his family is not one.

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I feel depressed, betrayed, frustrated, and for the most of it, unloved by my family. My mother who described my man as cool no longer sees him as such, my three sisters except one have also turned their backs against me. They keep fuelling the fire urging that I must end the relationship with my man otherwise I will bring curses upon our family. I never imagined I was going to face something this grave. My man doesn’t mind going all out to ensure we get married. His family is also very welcoming and wants me but not without my father’s blessings.

osu caste

What should I do? Should I follow love and face the consequences of being disowned forever by my family? Or follow family and lose love? I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love my man, I cannot process the thought of letting go and starting all over. Imagine a whole four years down the drain, It’s suicidal, I find it hard to process.

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I need help. If you’re reading this and have ever been at crossroads in deciding if to choose love or family (on the grounds of religion or culture), I need your advice. Maybe you’re an Osu too or you got married to one, please talk to me. Did anything bad happen to you? I need help, I can’t make this decision on my own. Do family blessings matter in a marriage? Is a father’s blessing important or overrated when it comes to marriage? If you were in my shoes, what would you do? I’ll appreciate your sincere comments. 👇👇

 

 

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