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September 2021

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7 min read

I am your precious secret place, you dwell, you enjoy me selfishly, but never ever will you abide under the shadow of sharing me with another.  Is this what Muttering Minds is to you?

You’d rather be here, breaking bread and drinking wine with this family of ‘societal misfits’ who are unafraid to show unfiltered sadness in a world where even fake laughter is considered medicine. A family not connected by blood but imperfection. Is this what Muttering Minds is to you?

Cruise! Cruise! “What do these weird ones have under their sleeves this Friday? My mind is hungry for novel eye-openers, and of course, clownery”. Is this what brings you here often?

Can being weird be a good thing? - Vox
Image Source- Vox

Among the few reasons people tell me whenever I ask them why they fuck with Muttering Minds, the above-mentioned are prominent. Oops! Not leaving out their love for the mystery of not knowing the face behind this gang of weirdos. No, wait! Some actually hate it, they’d pour hot oil on their genitals just to see my face. But is my face some form of currency? Tell me please, I hope it’s an all-time high though, I might as well sell it off and makeup all the money I should have charged for my blemished therapy sessions here. And ooo not forgetting my mail, that’s even more amateuristic. Hey dear, I sincerely do not care how you look, quit sending me trade-by-barter images of yourself via email, hoping that I return the favor. Can we just enjoy our conversations and leave our faces out of them?😌

I’m not hiding, never hidden, but don’t try to look for me. 

Nahhhh… I’m not angry joor😁, Muttering Minds is Plus 2 today!!! Whew!!🥳🥳 I just thought that rather than cutting cakes, I should wear the armor of mischief and assertion while I cut words here🤺. 

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The Ugliest Thing About 2

It’s suddenly graduated to a race my mind keeps reminding me that I’ve come too far to quit. See guy, I really don’t know why I’m still holding on to this shit, It’s the ugliest relationship I’ve ever stomached. Spamming from coast to coast to recruit more demons, then finding out a demon is greater than all my demons put together. I often ask myself ‘how is it you still want so much more?’ You see, I love to win big, hardly a night goes by without me asking my creator to bless me with more Mutterers. But for every time it becomes overwhelming (seeing the numbers adding up but the intentions are zero😒), I try to retrace my prayer request. Small is often considered a bad result, but with intentionality comes greatness. This here is one ugly truth I’ve learned owning this shit. As much as I crave an uncountable flock of sheep, growth is much appreciated when it’s earned painstakingly. It’s not like age that moves up regardless of the brain being half-witted. I’m in love with how intentional 20% of the Mutterers are, it plays a huge cover for the onlookers. Mind you, I still look forward to a time where I’ll post a story and not have to spam or say a word about it. All that does the talking would be the post notification. Let’s toast to that for it will happen. 

Leonardo Di Caprio Cheers Gif - IceGif

The Beauties of 2

I’m happy (I think). Unlike the first-anniversary note where I mentioned that I literally would go from chat to chat, to plead a comment here. Now I’m proud to call myself an earner of at all at all sha, three comments not produced out of persuasion will drop😄. Another beautiful thing is that I can decide to have a week or two weeks off, still, my ride or rides will still ride for me when I show up🥺. Nah, I am not one to take advantage of loyalty by serving inconsistency. My health has been hell-bent on imposing a toxic relationship with me since this year. But this is a tale for another publication, I should have shared since, but I want to make sure it accompanies a testimony.

Loyalty Is Everything Tupac GIF - Loyalty Is Everything Tupac Demetrius Shipp Jr - Discover & Share GIFs

I’ve Always Been a Coward, Nothing’s Changed

Long before now, about 8 months ago, I had started making plans on how I would celebrate today. I thought of launching my desired eLibrary that will harbor a merch collection and sweet e-books, all for your pleasure. But I caught a frozen foot after doing a mini-survey on Naked Minds and one person amongst the one percent I thought shared in my passion for this community said without a care for my fragile emotions that he won’t be purchasing any of it🥺. Tell you what, the other comments were so positive, but my mind automatically translated them into white lies after seeing the bad apple. I regret scrapping the plans though, but it wasn’t after I reconnected with an old friend who strangely didn’t take much time with me before he said “You’re still scared of failure Doris, common, you need to be confident o” and he diluted it with laughter that wore a tone of mockery. Yeah I know, he did mock me. 

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But I think I’m doing better now, turning a blind eye to flops, riding for me despite being car sick, and being able to take a second look at my writing. I used to cringe reading all over any story I post here despite the accolades. I used to cry myself into frustration when I post a story and the comment section takes a snail speed or none at all. “Most of them are probably not having a good day or have absolutely nothing to say”, once my mind reminds me of this, I send my frustration into exile.

I used to burn down hellfire whenever a glitch affected the website, but now, more than worrying, I seize the opportunity to take a break. 

The only thing I’ve not learned is confidence in trying new things especially when it revolves around money. Pleading to buy, donate, all whatnot. I’d rather chew jeans🥴. I lack confidence in my people bank, that’s the truth. But I should switch things up in the new year though, if you see me running mad, don’t throw stones, instead join in the madness😁.

switch up gif

Impression

I am not a therapist, especially not a sex therapist. I do not have all the answers, what I got is a platform with the best minds who provide several answers, all seeming right in their own eyes. If you notice, I’m mostly neutral to all the comments here, because like you, I’m grateful that this platform is a learning curve. I’m human like you too, like you have the right to not answer a DM, I reserve the right to not answer your mail. Not because I want to, but sometimes I’m numb and sincerely have nothing to say. And I would rather not mislead you by trying to inscribe my name in the book of ‘wokeness’ by force. 

therspist gif

Appreciation

If anything the comment section! O boy!! I’m yet to find any platform that harbors ‘so long a letter’ comments like Muttering Minds😭. Gosh! You all pour it out, if ever I doubt the support I feel on this earth, your dedication to penning your comments debunks it. Writing is not easy one bit, yet you give it all. This is not only raw support but raw trust. Thank you! Tell you what, some of my close friends tell me (maybe out of good envy😄) that they are usually too intimidated to comment here. Apart from the length, too many senseis, English opoor o…🙌

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Many who rode with me during the first year, no longer hold the wheel, I don’t expect that you’ll continue to and that’s okay. Like people can love forever, they can also outgrow love too. Just ensure you’re not a bad ex 😉. 

thankful Gif about 2

Thank you for sharing my work too and being proudly associated, sadly, only a few fall in this category though. The rest are often too embarrassed to associate themselves openly with Muttering Minds. Let’s not even talk about the nasty remarks… more than any of you, I understand the moral stigma, so keep riding private if it pleases your soul😪.

Donations

Never has buying me a bottle of malt been a bad decision😌. In my recent newsletter, I promised I was going to be aggressive in seeking monetary donations today because I deserve it (my entitled self believes so🤣). No long talk jare, send me money *blows powder*. This donation page has been more of a filler page than coins yielding. Break the jinx, please🤧. Forget the long talks on here, just go straight to the DONATE segment❤. 

Donate to SMC this Giving Tuesday season! - Somerville Media Center

An Experiment

Regardless of my paranoia for the people bank here, there’s no harm in experimenting with this. Asides from congratulating me on 2, and leaving your reservations of Muttering Minds in the comment section, feel free to market your business, skills, and what have you in the comment section💃🕺🏿. I invited a Jeff for this anniversary, I forgot to revise the last name so I don’t know if the one who would show up is a Bezos’ or Thomson. The latter is the dude who tried to throw pepper inside my eyes, but mercy said noooo😂😂. Regardless market yourself. Bring the comments on darling 😄👇👇

 

7 min read

I recall vividly my happiest moment as a child,  it was the day I finally bid home farewell to boarding school. An opportunity most of my age mates only felt less excited for because obviously, it was their first time being away from home, and importantly, they’ll miss the care from family and the feeling of existing in a sound place called home. Why was I happy to leave home? Home was a slaughterhouse! My father being the butcher and me, my mum and my siblings were the scapegoats. Hardly a week went by without any of us getting a deep bleeding wound, courtesy of my father. It was either a swollen skin, swollen eyes or head, or a cut anywhere else. Tell you what, at age nine, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure.

Home was not a safe haven, boarding school was for me. I barely came home for the holidays. I just stayed in school, participating in every kind of extracurricular activity ( cricket, basketball, etc.),  anything to help me stay far away from my father. The times I was mandated to come home was unforgivable, as the calendar ticked closer to the holidays, my heart leaped for fear.

i am scared of my father
Image source- TV Fanatic

Let Me Tell You About My Father

Have you ever met a man so cruel enough to admire seeing your skin bleed,  yet benevolent in providing you with the facilities you need to navigate life? He brutalized us at will in the name of discipline even for the littlest things like mistakenly breaking a plate, misplacing items, etc. Name the weapons, cable wire, cutlass, his hands, and his energetic way of throwing anything he sees on sight at you. We constantly had family members and our neighbors coming to our aid most times. Often times, those who come to our aid went home irritated and angry, worst case they became the enemy of the family. And I, my mom, and siblings were made to inherit the enmity created by my dad.

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Our family was on the watch list of the whole community, so when we went out to play with other kids their parents always warned them not to play with us for fear of encountering my dad.  The fear of him made our subconscious mind and hearing accustomed to his car honk seven blocks away. Not just us, but the neighbors, ‘go inside o, your dad is coming!’ they often alerted us, likewise they running inside too.

how to know your child is depressed

It was the norm for 18 years of my life living under his roof. As I write this article, I have this very huge scar on my left shoulder that went through 32 stitches. YES! MY DAD DID IT! He used a very sharp cutlass on me, his SON, simply because I was caught communicating with my mum over the phone. She had fled the hell called home because she had it worse than we did. I still look at the scar and remember  9-11 -2008, coincidentally, it was the same day. When the world talks about the famous 9-11 event, I can only remember the wickedness of my father. 

His Benevolence 

The comforting part of his shortcomings was that we never lacked. He is very hardworking and competent in provision. He doesn’t joke with Education, he would help with my physics and geography assignments but mathematics was a tormenting ride with him. For every time I got an answer wrong, he would either whip me, slap me hard until my eyes were stained with blood. One time he held my head and scrubbed my mouth on the floor, I bleed my meat out of my lips. 

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Beaten Black Children by their fathers

And yeah, to dilute his wickedness, he would compensate with a shopping spree. He bought us the latest toys, and my mum the finest wrappers that showcased her as a beautiful Delta Igbo woman. She would put them on with a smile but only a wise man could tell it was a facade. She lived in deep regret.

A Conjugal Warfare

For as long I could remember, my mum was in grief throughout her marriage with him. I never experienced a share of genuine love between them. She would get brutalized for mere quarrels with him and also when she tried to intercede whenever he was beating us cats and dogs. I can never forget her midnight wailings that God should change him, but it only got worse.

Read: Are You Worried About the Disgrace or…

Back then,  we were Catholics and how ironic, my dad was the chairman of the Catholic Men Organisation (CMO). He was not only famous for his numerous donations but also revered as righteous. This made my mum not to confide in anyone in church but instead decided to try other denominations with hopes to get saved from her husband’s brutality.

my father beats my mother

One Sunday after we came back from morning mass, there was a misunderstanding between my mom and my dad that resulted in my mom swimming in a pool of blood gushing from her head.  My dad could care less. I witnessed him sitting comfortably on his ottoman chair watching  ‘People’s Palava’ on MITV. And while she was crying for help, he looked at her with spite and said ‘I am the God in this family, I can take any of you’s life without questioning’.   I was only 15, but I was made to carry the cross of assisting my bleeding mum to the toilet for safety before going over to call our family friend’s whom my dad respected so much.

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They heard my cry and drove me to the Rev Father who followed us home. Shockingly,  my mom was ok and her wound had been dressed by our neighbor who is a nurse. However, the most disappointing of it all was seeing my mom in the kitchen cooking for him. The reverend father advised my mom to leave the marriage for her life …GBAM !!! if a reverend could say this, then you know it’s that bad. My mom hesitated leaving because of her kids, she adores us so much. But eventually after I finished secondary school,  she finally got divorced. Now she is happily married and owns a home in Texas, she  also co-owns an orphanage home with her husband.

divorcee finding love again

The Cause And Effect

My mum left without us because he refused, but at the age of 18, I was able to run away without looking back. The experience made me grow up faster. As the first child, I was responsible for my mum and sibling’s mental state. Now we look back and smile at our experience, though sometimes it lingers in my mom’s mind and she sheds tears but she wipes them and smiles. 

Read: Child to Child Cruelty; These Scars May Never Die

Before our freedom, I noticed my siblings, also males were starting to show tendencies of aggression. It was tilting to become like my dad’s, if care was not taken. I had to constantly nip it in the bud by showing them gentlemanly ways. I knew it was the side effect of the many tormenting experience living with my dad and it could most likely mar them for life. I say this because the brutality my dad showed was a result of his upbringing.  He was also brutalized by his father, and the brutality was also extended to his mother. My dad’s childhood damaged him. He couldn’t give us love because he was never shown love.  I have myself in control, because right from time, I knew there was more to all the bad emotions that occupied our home. I found peace living in my head (imaginations), I created a better family, a better experience, a better reaction compared to the reaction in my reality, all in my head (imagination). I looked forward to my own happiness, I knew it would come one day, I learned how to deal with all my demons ( fear, anxiety, depression, hate, etc)  and replaced them with the opposite. I didn’t let his wickedness infect me. All I do now is make sure my siblings are surrounded with so much love, so they can be exemplary.

my bad father black brothers love

Now the only relationship I have with my dad is business talks and that’s because he has what I need (funds and connections). Deep down I know he regrets his actions, he tries to show it sometimes but I  just ignore the signs and let him drown in his guilt of being a bad father and a bad husband. Frankly, I do not have any hatred for him, nor do I wish that my childhood was different. Rather the experience has made me conscious of being a good man, an attribute I might have lacked. I might have lacked empathy if I hadn’t experienced the lack of it. It made me learn that emotions are a luxury. The fact that people have the ability to show some emotions in excess doesn’t mean it is normal. Like I put in effort in my job, I put in the effort with good emotions too. It makes me satisfied.

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Now you, how would you describe the method of training by your parents? Did it make you the man or woman that you are today? Also, do you agree that the best form of discipline is by beating a child? And if you grew up in a warzone like mine, with a tormenting father (or mother), please lets learn of your experience in the comment section😪👇.

5 min read

” All characters and events depicted in this series are fictitious, any resemblance…” Movies which begin their race with a note of denegation are incisive (judgment based on the ones I’ve watched). ‘King of Boys: The Return of the King’, personifies this.

One moment I’m dancing to its rhythm as a face-valued entertaining film, but the next and even more recurrently, I wish I could fall hook, line, and sinker for the disclaimer but Nah. ‘King of Boys: The Return of the King’ is too accurate for mere fiction, especially in its vivid reflection of the political monkey business (Nigeria as a case study). However, like the amiable director, Kemi Adetiba, I’d like to plead the fifth on name callings but I’m certain you’ll get the gist as you read through my review of the film.

Kemi Adetiba on king of boys 2
The amiable director, Kemi Adetiba

Need I mention that King of Boys 1, released in 2018, left me too emotional but watching the season, I consider it wasted emotions because the season is the ideal crackerjack. I didn’t even expect it’ll be continued as a series, yeah… thumbs up to Kemi Adetiba! I don’t know how she did it but I was on my toes throughout watching.

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Before I delve into the eye-openers, let me appreciate the movie’s use of biblical allusions. The first and only appearance of Makanaki to Odoguwu Malay is a nostalgic reference for the resurrection of Jesus in his appearance to Thomas. I couldn’t help but think of the resurrection story as Makanaki refers to Odogwu as ‘doubting Thomas’ and shortly after, tells him to touch his scar.

King of boys

Another symbolic scene almost immediately somewhat in tandem with the bible is the presentation of Odogwu’s body guard’s head on a tray. For some reason, I found it a mimic of the death of John the Baptist only that in this context, the head was not a promise to anyone’s heir but a promise borne out of bitter revenge. 

 

 

Now The Eye-openers…

There’s much to see and feel while watching ‘King of Boys: The Return of the King’.  From dirty politics to the complexity of the human mind, and even love being thematically represented…the movie is a carrier of diversified and discerning warmth. 

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Power is A Combination: The role of the main character Eniola Salami, made me understand that power is not a stand-alone possession but a combination of being intelligent, smart, and a mystical aura obtained from a myriad of experiences. The yardstick to qualify a person as ‘Powerful’, should not be based on the fact that they occupy a position of power. Eniola Salami has it all. An omini knowest go-getter lol, one moment you think that she’s being played, the next moment, she switches up and we see a different king of boys in action.

Eniola Salami's role in King of Boys 2

Materialism Is Not the Only Answer to Gaining Loyalty: Although rare, but loyalty is not dead! If loyalty was a person, then it would be Ade Tiger. Not until the big twist, I thought he would betray the oba (Eniola). His role in the movie makes me believe in loyalty, it makes me believe that there are actually people who can take a bullet for me literally but something gotta give and it’s not always materialistic. Eniola’s passion and promised assurance were all he needed to ride and die with her. To add, Ade Tiger is such a fineeee man and the whole thug life suits his persona perfectly.

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Permanent Enemies or Friends Do Not Exist: Like every man has a price, reconciliation is inevitable. Who would have thought of that twist? Ehn? Makanaki and the oba (Eniola), burying the hatchet? Whew! well, when it involves politics, there are no permanent allies and no permanent foes, everyone is led on by a mutual interest, which is power. 

the review of king of boys 2

Church and Politics: Yeah, I agree that every unit in the society harbors a stench of politics but you see, the church is the main culprit. The character,  Reverend Ifeanyi, is symbolic of the whispered church sins we see in society. From meddling with politicians for money to stylishly endorsing them to their congregation to secure votes and even down to church leaders owning a dirty closet that’s a far cry away from church doctrines. The holier than thou Reverend Ifeanyi’s character exposes it all.

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A Thin Line Between Passion and Foolhardy: Passion for one’s job is good. Hard work is great. But do not lose yourself, your family, and everything you love while pursuing your career.  Dapo learns this the hard way. He loses his family, career and worse still, he had a dent in his name and image. Not agreeing that what his boss did was right, but not knowing when to stop is foolish. Dapo in my opinion, should have not dug further into the story, accepting defeat does not mean a lack of courage, after all, it’s said that he who runs away lives to fight another day.

king of boys 2

Strength Can be a Facade: The First Lady, Jumoke Randle is intriguing. Her poise and confidence are felt throughout the film but we later see that it weakens at the sight of greater power, her mother-in-law. As much as I could perceive her strong will to do anything for her husband and family’s interest, her character succeeds in passing a message of how someone can appear so confident yet still seeks validation.

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Kemi Adetiba and the entire cast and crew, made me fall swiftly for ‘King of Boys: The Return of the King’. I totally enjoyed every bit of the film both in an entertaining sense and on a deeper level. What do you think of the movie, especially the lessons you learned from watching it? Do you want a continuation? In my opinion, this is as good as a closed chapter, subsequent seasons might jinx it lol, not doubting Kemi’s talent to do a good job the umpteenth time though. A friend of mine holds the opinion that Boxer’s case was a setup and if there would be a continuation, Ade Tiger might betray Eniola Salami. What are your thoughts on this? And yeah other reservations you have about the film. Kindly leave your comments 😁👇