Appreciation!! The Ugliest Thing About 2

I am your precious secret place, you dwell, you enjoy me selfishly, but never ever will you abide under the shadow of sharing me with another.  Is this what Muttering Minds is to you?

You’d rather be here, breaking bread and drinking wine with this family of ‘societal misfits’ who are unafraid to show unfiltered sadness in a world where even fake laughter is considered medicine. A family not connected by blood but imperfection. Is this what Muttering Minds is to you?

Cruise! Cruise! “What do these weird ones have under their sleeves this Friday? My mind is hungry for novel eye-openers, and of course, clownery”. Is this what brings you here often?

Among the few reasons people tell me whenever I ask them why they fuck with Muttering Minds, the above-mentioned are prominent. Oops! Not leaving out their love for the mystery of not knowing the face behind this gang of weirdos. No, wait! Some actually hate it, they’d pour hot oil on their genitals just to see my face. But is my face some form of currency? Tell me please, I hope it’s an all-time high though, I might as well sell it off and makeup all the money I should have charged for my blemished therapy sessions here. And ooo not forgetting my mail, that’s even more amateuristic. Hey dear, I sincerely do not care how you look, quit sending me trade-by-barter images of yourself via email, hoping that I return the favor. Can we just enjoy our conversations and leave our faces out of them?😌

I’m not hiding, never hidden, but don’t try to look for me. 

Nahhhh… I’m not angry joor😁, Muttering Minds is Plus 2 today!!! Whew!!🥳🥳 I just thought that rather than cutting cakes, I should wear the armor of mischief and assertion while I cut words here🤺. 

The Ugliest Thing About 2

It’s suddenly graduated to a race my mind keeps reminding me that I’ve come too far to quit. See guy, I really don’t know why I’m still holding on to this shit, It’s the ugliest relationship I’ve ever stomached. Spamming from coast to coast to recruit more demons, then finding out a demon is greater than all my demons put together. I often ask myself ‘how is it you still want so much more?’ You see, I love to win big, hardly a night goes by without me asking my creator to bless me with more Mutterers. But for every time it becomes overwhelming (seeing the numbers adding up but the intentions are zero😒), I try to retrace my prayer request. Small is often considered a bad result, but with intentionality comes greatness. This here is one ugly truth I’ve learned owning this shit. As much as I crave an uncountable flock of sheep, growth is much appreciated when it’s earned painstakingly. It’s not like age that moves up regardless of the brain being half-witted. I’m in love with how intentional 20% of the Mutterers are, it plays a huge cover for the onlookers. Mind you, I still look forward to a time where I’ll post a story and not have to spam or say a word about it. All that does the talking would be the post notification. Let’s toast to that for it will happen. 

The Beauties of 2

I’m happy (I think). Unlike the first-anniversary note where I mentioned that I literally would go from chat to chat, to plead a comment here. Now I’m proud to call myself an earner of at all at all sha, three comments not produced out of persuasion will drop😄. Another beautiful thing is that I can decide to have a week or two weeks off, still, my ride or rides will still ride for me when I show up🥺. Nah, I am not one to take advantage of loyalty by serving inconsistency. My health has been hell-bent on imposing a toxic relationship with me since this year. But this is a tale for another publication, I should have shared since, but I want to make sure it accompanies a testimony.

I’ve Always Been a Coward, Nothing’s Changed

Long before now, about 8 months ago, I had started making plans on how I would celebrate today. I thought of launching my desired eLibrary that will harbor a merch collection and sweet e-books, all for your pleasure. But I caught a frozen foot after doing a mini-survey on Naked Minds and one person amongst the one percent I thought shared in my passion for this community said without a care for my fragile emotions that he won’t be purchasing any of it🥺. Tell you what, the other comments were so positive, but my mind automatically translated them into white lies after seeing the bad apple. I regret scrapping the plans though, but it wasn’t after I reconnected with an old friend who strangely didn’t take much time with me before he said “You’re still scared of failure Doris, common, you need to be confident o” and he diluted it with laughter that wore a tone of mockery. Yeah I know, he did mock me. 

But I think I’m doing better now, turning a blind eye to flops, riding for me despite being car sick, and being able to take a second look at my writing. I used to cringe reading all over any story I post here despite the accolades. I used to cry myself into frustration when I post a story and the comment section takes a snail speed or none at all. “Most of them are probably not having a good day or have absolutely nothing to say”, once my mind reminds me of this, I send my frustration into exile.

I used to burn down hellfire whenever a glitch affected the website, but now, more than worrying, I seize the opportunity to take a break. 

The only thing I’ve not learned is confidence in trying new things especially when it revolves around money. Pleading to buy, donate, all whatnot. I’d rather chew jeans🥴. I lack confidence in my people bank, that’s the truth. But I should switch things up in the new year though, if you see me running mad, don’t throw stones, instead join in the madness😁.

Impression

I am not a therapist, especially not a sex therapist. I do not have all the answers, what I got is a platform with the best minds who provide several answers, all seeming right in their own eyes. If you notice, I’m mostly neutral to all the comments here, because like you, I’m grateful that this platform is a learning curve. I’m human like you too, like you have the right to not answer a DM, I reserve the right to not answer your mail. Not because I want to, but sometimes I’m numb and sincerely have nothing to say. And I would rather not mislead you by trying to inscribe my name in the book of ‘wokeness’ by force. 

Appreciation

If anything the comment section! O boy!! I’m yet to find any platform that harbors ‘so long a letter’ comments like Muttering Minds😭. Gosh! You all pour it out, if ever I doubt the support I feel on this earth, your dedication to penning your comments debunks it. Writing is not easy one bit, yet you give it all. This is not only raw support but raw trust. Thank you! Tell you what, some of my close friends tell me (maybe out of good envy😄) that they are usually too intimidated to comment here. Apart from the length, too many senseis, English opoor o…🙌

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Many who rode with me during the first year, no longer hold the wheel, I don’t expect that you’ll continue to and that’s okay. Like people can love forever, they can also outgrow love too. Just ensure you’re not a bad ex 😉. 

Thank you for sharing my work too and being proudly associated, sadly, only a few fall in this category though. The rest are often too embarrassed to associate themselves openly with Muttering Minds. Let’s not even talk about the nasty remarks… more than any of you, I understand the moral stigma, so keep riding private if it pleases your soul😪.

Donations

Never has buying me a bottle of malt been a bad decision😌. In my recent newsletter, I promised I was going to be aggressive in seeking monetary donations today because I deserve it (my entitled self believes so🤣). No long talk jare, send me money *blows powder*. This donation page has been more of a filler page than coins yielding. Break the jinx, please🤧. Forget the long talks on here, just go straight to the DONATE segment❤. 

An Experiment

Regardless of my paranoia for the people bank here, there’s no harm in experimenting with this. Asides from congratulating me on 2, and leaving your reservations of Muttering Minds in the comment section, feel free to market your business, skills, and what have you in the comment section💃🕺🏿. I invited a Jeff for this anniversary, I forgot to revise the last name so I don’t know if the one who would show up is a Bezos’ or Thomson. The latter is the dude who tried to throw pepper inside my eyes, but mercy said noooo😂😂. Regardless market yourself. Bring the comments on darling 😄👇👇