It is often said that love is a beautiful thing. However, from time to time, we see that love, and sometimes a relationship is not a good thing.
It is normal to get attracted to a person after intimacy has been built over time, but what is to be said about an abusive relationship?
We all know how crazy it is when we have to get detached from someone that we have been attached to overtime. It feels like a journey to a dead-end which is unfair with life. An abusive relationship is no exception.
One hit is enough to walk away from him or her, you think? In my opinion, I’ll say “You don’t know except you have experienced it”. Has it ever occurred to you why people come out years after to say their spouse abuses them? Why not early enough right? Especially the sort that is glaring that such a relationship is a no brainer for the victim?
Love shared between two people is a beautiful thing but when it accompanies an unhealthy form of attachment, it becomes a relationship between a tormentor and its victim. While the abused lives in denial, the tormentor breeds mixed signals.
The tormentor is sometimes cold, other times romantic and then on most occasions pounces on the victim like they are some rat that encroached their privacy. In all these, the abused feels that the relationship is healthy and too good to be left alone. By too good, they hold onto the memories of the good old days, and the mixed signals they are receiving. They resolve to blame games, with the thought of being the reason the abuser is that way.
In a typical African setting, when the spotlight of abuse is in context, there is this idea of African women enduring abusive marriages, but the big question is, “When there is an option to leave an abusive relationship, why condone so much pain for so long?”
It’s really draining when one thinks about it. But the reason is, they love and are still in love. They hold on to the good old days with hopes that things will return as they were. Despite the bruises, burns, cuts, and emotional torture, they are unwilling to walk away, except after a very long time.
If you ever come across someone abused, best believe they are not going to take your advice about walking away yet until walking away becomes the only option.