Mutterers Club

9 min read

Everyone wants to grow old. I mean, I’ve never met anyone who craved badly to kick the bucket in their 30’s or less, except they’re been tormented by poverty and her colleagues; sickness, hunger, beggary, hardship, pity, you know them all. Suicide is the exit. Sometimes I wonder, is it a cliche desire to want to grow old? Or is it something we’ve individually sat down to reflect about and reckoned that we want it… badly enough? If you knew what awaits you in your old age, would you still fancy an entry into the phase?  In my opinion, there are two sides to old age; Beauty and Torment. A man may experience only one, but most men would have their face stuffed on both sides of the plate. At this stage, choice would not be confusion, rather the physical and the supernatural makes the choice for you. 

Find out why loved ones must leave their elderly in an Old People's Home

Who Daddy Was

Watching my father for the past seven years, I have an elevated share of the torment old age gifts. How do I even begin? Imagine this, one person who almost all your life was well forfeited, vigorous, a lion who would protect and a lamb who could be meek, but never weak. His temper was Jehovian, mercurial and we feared him. Discipline was his love language, I can’t throw many stones of fault, he is African. That’s what we do best, beat our children into submission, beat out any cockiness of bravery they might have. I rated him more infallible than a pope and then poof!! Like a wilting flower, his feathers started to shed. There is no other way to sugarcoat this, my old man has dementia. 

Why Do Plants Wilt?

Before the hit, I remember the good young days. My dad nurtured me and my siblings in ‘the way of the truth’. He is(was) a hardcore Christian. My mum who is currently a retired civil servant at a point in our lives, she was redeployed to Abuja from Lagos where she was with the Ministry of Communications. It was a difficult time for us but my dad ascended the task. At that time, it was me, my elder sister, and my two younger brothers. When she traveled to Abuja, she took along the last-born. She tried to come home at least once every two or three months. At the time my dad was an auto-mechanic, and an elder in our religious circle (name withheld). It wasn’t easy raising four boisterous children on his own, and most evenings I could see the strain on his face.

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I would forever be grateful to him. Not once were we made to feel that we were lacking even though we were not financially buoyant. At the time we lived in a one room apartment, popularly called face-me-I-face-you somewhere near Òkòkó, Lagos State, Nigeria. Despite the slow income lifestyle, we attended a private school with a British curriculum (this has been very instrumental in shaping who I am today). As much as he loved to break his back, my father was also a strict disciplinarian.

African Parents, Don't Provoke Your Children -

I remember coming home one day from school and not finding our black and white television where it always sat. Me and my siblings panicked and called the neighbors, the only logical answer was that someone broke in and stole it. We later found out that he was the one that took it away. He said we watched too much TV and he wanted us to take reading seriously. This decision made even more deficient my already weak social life. I had no TV to watch, so I turned to books for entertainment. This pleased my dad to no end even though later on, he would complain about my choice of books when I started reading novels and other genres.

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At about the time I finished primary school, my mum resigned (early retirement). It was also around that time we moved to Badagry where my parents owned a piece of land and had erected a structure. Few months later my immediate younger brother would die of acute malaria. Those were rough times.

old age curse


The Straw That Broke Daddy’s Back

The fact is that, if you don’t have a loved one who suffers dementia, you have no idea how hard it can be. It is very heartbreaking. When can I say he started to deteriorate? In our religious circle, he was an elder a long time before he even got married. He had vast experience, and over the years had taken on a number of key positions. Unfortunately, he was stripped off his eldership due to some decisions he made regarding his children. To spill the beans our religious circle frowns at higher education but he threw caution to the wind and funded our university education. The consequences rattled him badly. 

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Imagine a moment where a title that crowns your whole existence is taken forcefully from you? It was his identity and the lack of it wrecked him into chronic depression. In 2015, when I finished university, I came to meet a man I almost did not recognize. He was a shell of his former self. I was angry. I pitied him. This (and other factors) deepened my disdain for religion in general. We all knew he was depressed, he would drive his tricycle, return home tired and just eat and sleep. Even on Sundays when we did things together as a family, he would just mope around. 

Read: I’ll Never Forgive the Sins of the Church

Depression, Anxiety in old black men

Daddy Now

Dementia is a terrible thing to suffer. It’s mutual suffering for the patient and their loved ones. My dad used to be a very avid reader, a trait I took from him, however, something abnormal started to happen. Gradually he couldn’t pronounce familiar words. His activeness amid his circle of friends too started to wane. It became embarrassing seeing his friends and acquaintances try to juggle his memory and he would just shake his head forlornly. 

Read: 13 Types of Dementia, Signs, Symptoms

As this happened repeatedly, we knew something was wrong. Even my dad knew something was wrong. Often, he would call me aside and tell me he was losing his memory. When I went to his room, I would see notes scattered about, notes he had written to help jog his memory. Being a well educated family, we concluded they were signs of dementia then sought medical help. It’s quite expensive. We did a private hospital routine for a while until my mum insisted on trado-medical treatments because it’s more effective and less expensive. My mum is only a pensioner and myself and siblings are ascending the career ladder, we wouldn’t want something that wrecks the entire ship.

Epidemiology and risk factors of dementia | Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery & Psychiatry

Dementia has no relapse. Once you have it, it’s progressive. It only gets worse. The only thing you can do is treat it so it can be managed. Now he can’t remember his children’s names and only calls us by our pet names. I’m Omo ìyá (mother’s child), as he fondly calls me. Me and my siblings have left home. I go home once in a while to visit. These visits are always bittersweet. There’s my mother looking all frustrated and worn out from all the care, they’ve been married for 32 years. And then dad, asking me the same questions over and over again cause he forgets the answer every five minutes. At first, he sees me, he smiles, and calls me Omo ìyá. Five minutes later, he sees me and he’s asking “When did you get home, have I seen you today?”

Read: Dear Mum, A Curious Conversation we would Never Have

He likes to wander, and nobody goes along with him. My mom just complains, I know she’s scared but I try to make her at ease cause my dad has assured me sometime that when he walks about, his head is clear and he will always know the way back home. I sincerely hope he keeps knowing the way home. 

Wandering & Dementia – Making Sense of It

One terrible thing about dementia is that the patient believes those around them to be their enemies. Strong word? He uses the word enemy to describe my mum sometimes especially when she tries to stop him from going out and wandering. He retorts that she is holding him back. However, his spirituality tames him perfectly. He has never abhorred violence of any kind. 

Read: Dementia diagnosis often comes as part of costly crisis

Having a loved one suffering dementia is not something to be ashamed of. Why should anyone be though? It’s an attendant effect of old age. We’ve done well to inform the neighbors and Landlords Community Association where he was once the financial secretary. Almost everybody knows how to react when he keeps repeating questions. 

5 ways to take care of your aged and sick parents |

Seeing A Parent Fall Sick

Sometimes I ask myself; if my dad had retained his eldership position, would dementia have set in? Probably, I don’t know. What I know is, the fons et origo of his depression was his being yanked off something he obviously loved doing. One thing I’m taking out of all this is never to attach my happiness to anything, or anybody. My dad attached his happiness to his eldership, his religion and fell apart when it was taken from him.

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I love my dad, I know my siblings love him too (it’s so hard to read them). I feel for him. I feel for the loving dad who bought me a bottle of Coca-Cola when I finally learnt how to tell the time correctly. I feel for the loving dad who would trek to my school from his workplace to give me my lunch box when I forgot it at home (I was quite forgetful as a kid). I think he deserves more. I know he deserves more. I also feel for my mum. They love each other deeply, I admired how he was always attentive to her needs and especially loved how he brightened whenever she was around. I can’t imagine how it must be for her now, seeing her once active husband now behaving like an infant. It must be very tough on her.

old age curse

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It’s painful seeing a parent fall sick especially in their old age where it hits you that they would not be here forever. And a hurtful truth is that life is moving by too fast, you cannot offer them your presence as much as you wished. Taking care of a sick parent (a loved one generally) comes with every shade of fear, it exhausts you emotionally, physically, and financially. Whenever my phone rings, and it’s my mum, I’m scared of what she might say. One way or the other, we’ve all had our share of fear of losing our parents. Some have already lost, some have won the battle that may only last a while, and some would have their experience soon. I’d like to learn about your own personal experience/ unique ways in catering for your parents. Importantly, what do you reckon as best ways we can care for our parents in their old age or in sickness, despite chasing a busy career path or better put amid trying to find our footing in real adulthood. 

The Old Age Gamble

Like I asked earlier, if you knew what awaits you in your old age, would you still fancy an entry into the phase? Dementia is one out of a hundred illnesses that is associated with old age. You don’t know what will happen, the phase is a gamble. I’ve heard some folks say they do not want to live beyond 70, because it can be so stressful. Beyond the age, you have no dream of becoming anything, you just want to witness what your children would become. The excitement of living is dependent on what others can do for you or achieve for you. Except the rich folks who are a bit different in the sense that they do not become a financial burden to their loved ones. Would you like to turn old and gray? What are you most afraid of that could befall your old age? And the ultimate question, is old age a blessing or a curse? Let’s discuss in the comment section.

7 min read

Yeah you know it! that angelic yet raunchy stare she gives you when you’re hitting the G-spot…that desperate facial, is she crying for pleasure or for more pleasure? You pump it up, wearing the energy of a horse on a race track. It’s too much pleasure now, her legs begin to suffer a seizure but surely they wouldn’t wilt rather she’s mumbling in tongues that translates a quest to devouring every last crumb from your being. Oo bet she’ll. Now you’re staring at her eyes to solicit more validation and you’re almost blinded by spicy passion. Hell yeah! it makes you feel like a man right? An empowered man with a top-notch ego right? 

30 Day Sex Position Challenge– Day 25 | loveandpleasurecoaching

I bet you had not the slightest idea that this ‘ego empowerment scheme’ you profit off from her legs quivering could all turn to dust one day. A day when you desperately want to race like horse and in fact prior you’ve bragged about the chronicles of your sex game but unfortunately forces beyond you makes your cum come barely 2 minutes after hitting the warm hole. Shit! This is every man’s nightmare. How do you tell her it’s not your fault? That you’re usually not like that? Perhaps she’s too sweet you couldn’t resist falling your own hands? O jeezz!! She’s gonna tell her friends that you’re a ‘one minute man’ or very unlikely to share in your embarrassment and keep mum. A lot of thoughts running miles in your head. I don’t know if you’ve been here before, well I’ve been down this squashed ego road… would tell you about it.

Read: Let’s Play A Game… Fetish or Obsession or Both?

Enough! I Will No Longer Be Disappointed by African Men in the Bedroom - OkayAfrica


A Sex King In The Making

Attaining reasonable mature age, I was very sexually active. I remember having sex more than 300 days in 365 days in a year. Yup! That’s how much bed power I wielded. I remember going seven rounds in a night with my girlfriend at the time. Or was it a time when a lady fainted while having oral sex with me? She couldn’t stand the depth of the feeling. Then, when it came to sex, the barest minimum I could offer a lady was 3 rounds. No less but could be more. I oozed enormous ego especially when she’s telling me over chats how I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to her pussy. O surely I did make a lady drip drip…sheeshh! Common guys, don’t give me that look. Wanna deny that a lot of our ego doesn’t depend on how much we’re able to treat her right in bed? Well mine wholesomely does. 

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A King’s Nightmare

Happily late last year, I got a girlfriend, which would soon metamorphose a sour encounter. A sex king could no longer have a lasting erection, I had now become a man walking around with a not literal tag that projected “One Minute Man”. Though I would quickly have erection like I should have but not as strong as it should be; compared to those days where I literally would feel every single vein in my penis when I’m fully aroused. How do I explain all my brags? She expected a horse but all she got was a man whose erection became flaccid at the touch of her hands repeatedly. And when it’s a ‘good day’ and I arrive at the mountain of penetration, my sperm acts like they’re being chased down by a ghost, running for their lives which makes them sprinkle out in barely one minute. Gosh! I bet she hated me at every try.  The only silverlining left in my arsenal was my oral sex skill. I had mastered it so well so it was easy to make my woman reach orgasm.

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Though my woman never complained about my poor timing cum shots, I wished I could do what I used to do. Painfully, I also observed that she never demanded sex from me, she never initiated love making too. I started to nurse the idea that I became sexually weak because I was aging, though I’m not 40 yet. I read an article that said sex shouldn’t be more than 2 minutes and that gave me a sense of hope. 

This Is How Long Sex Should Last (From a Woman's Point of View) | GQ


Pacifying My Fallen Crown 

What I resolved was to ensure my lady orgasms first through oral sex before I reach to penetrate knowing that I would cum in two minutes. The trick was to elongate my head game with hopes that she doesn’t take cognizance of how quickly I ejaculated.  Another disappointing part of the issue is that I had to wait for at least 30 minutes before journeying second round, that’s if I had the chance to try.

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I became desperate for a solution that I decided to take a root drink for sex enhancement. I will never forget my terrible experience. I took the drink 20 minutes before my lady arrived and I was hugged with a serious headache. Although we had two rounds of sex which I lasted a little longer but I felt less than my normal self. I became an empty man who desired sex most times but would quench the desire knowing that I could only offer weak strokes. Rather sex, I would masturbate, risking the cons. 

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A King’s Redemption

Like having a weak sex game is not punishment enough, the universe had to plague me with a throat problem; however, the life style preceding this diagnosis soon became a solution I was blind to the entire time. I was told to avoid soft drinks and cold water as they were notable triggers which I faithfully avoided. From baby steps avoidance, I was able to permanently halt the entry of soft drinks in my system for three months. Also for some maybe weird replacement, I nurtured the habit of eating dates and tiger nuts. 

Read: Sex and Spirituality; And What If He’s a Virgin At 30

In the third month of abstinence from soft drinks, my lady came around with plans to sleep over and leave the next day. I joined her in the shower that night and couldn’t resist making love to her. We started foreplaying and surprisingly, I realised that my erection became even fuller with charged veins scavenging for a warm hole. I hit it and kept at it for over five minutes before carrying her to the bed where I kept sending her into space for over 15 minutes. As much as I felt proud I could make her scream for the first time, I also felt much surprise. Is this me? Is the king back? My excitement held no barricade. Could you believe we went an extra five rounds that night?? It was such a passionate moment, and one of relief too. Tell you what? My beautiful lady who had the intention of spending one night, spent two days and returned a few days after to spend a month with me. 

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Saying ‘Hi’ To Memory Lane

After our irresistible love making, my surprise grew to curiosity, I was bent on knowing what happened. Putting the pieces together, I needed no soothsayer to tell me I had lost my game to excess sugar. Unbeknownst to me every time I consumed a soft drink, my sex prowess kissed six feet a closer chance, it weakened. Coca-cola was my number one brand, while Pepsi, an alternative best friend. I would consume either like water, hardly would I have a meal without a bottle of Coke or Pepsi. 

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Whew!! I had defeated the elephant that tormented me for more than a year. I used to think my lady hated sex, I recall how quiet she usually is whenever we made love, she would only make sounds during oral sex and go completely silent during penetration. But now, she’s a screamer,  a noisemaker and prayer warrior. Babe now holds my head screaming, calling me beautiful names and praying for me. She now calls me ‘Ife’, chai, good sex is beautiful, dont let anyone tell you otherwise. Another beautiful thing is that She has come to see third and fourth rounds as her legitimate right, so we usually begin another round right from the bathroom while cleaning up. Can proudly say that I wasn’t actually getting old, but was careless with my diet. I have kissed both soft drink and masturbation final goodbyes. Again I’ll reiterate that good sex is beautiful and importantly I’m still a SEX KING!!

Black Couple GIFs | Tenor

Reflecting on all that transpired, I have questions… To the men, how important is performance to you? I confided in a friend who told me that he’ll care less if he can’t satisfy a lady for a lengthy time. I perceived it as a pretentious answer though. I feel like a huge part of my ego depends on satisfying her in bed, do you feel the same way or am I weird? Also have you had experiences similar to mine or scares? share with me and your solution, a fellow king reading might be in need of it. Now ladies, sincerely how do you feel when a man doesn’t satisfy you as you want? Would you call it quits on a one-minute man? And now general questions; how long should an ideal sex last?  What’s your take on sex enhancement products? Join the conversation in the comment section below 😃👇👇.

9 min read

Majority of the world believe incest is a sin, but is it really? Especially when it’s between two consenting adults? 

The first time I had sexual thoughts about my mother I was about 8 or 9 years old.  At that time we used to live in an old kind of run down house and were quite poor. The bathroom had a door on it with a glass pane that was broken. So you could look through and see whoever was showering.  I used to secretly look through the broken pane and enjoy the delicious splash of the water over her naked breasts and masturbate while watching her. At that age, I never had an orgasm but was still thrilled and felt a deep erotic charge whenever I had the chance to watch her. It was always a huge risk that I would get caught by my father, so I was always scared and aroused at the same time, and I made sure that I didn’t stay watching too long so that I wouldn’t get caught.

At about the age of 10 years old I first became aroused by my mothers’ lingerie and knickers. I used to secretly sniff her knickers when she was out and particularly enjoyed the musky smell of her pussy juice on her dirty knickers. It was a smell that I adored and I’ve always loved the smell of pussy since then.

smelling pant fetish


When I was about 12 years old my mother gave me a book on puberty and it had a chapter in it on how to masturbate. I was really surprised at how modern and open minded my mother seemed to have become because when I was younger I’d once asked her where babies came from and she told me a false fairy story about how the stalk brought babies and then they were cut out of her stomach. I knew she was lying, but I just wanted to see what she would say. I already knew how babies were born.

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At the age of 13 my father died. He’d been sick for about a year and he knew he was going to die so he went to Nigeria to die.  My mother went to Nigeria to conduct the funeral and took my two youngest siblings with her and left the rest of us with friends and relatives for the duration. Eventually she got back.

15 years later, my siblings and I had grown into different paths but I agreed to come home and look after my mother. Her place was also handy as it was close to where I worked and I saved a lot of money on rent.

sex with my mother after my father passed


A Helping Hand… Indeed

I was 39 and I was living with my mother. After my father had died my mother had never had any other partner.  She said that she didn’t want any man to try and control her, or tell her how to raise her children. 

This Sunday morning, I had music playing quite loudly so I didn’t hear my mother calling me. She decided to come up to see me and tell me that she wanted to talk to me. We were always very open with each other about everything. We were both relaxed about nudity between us and had become very close as she didn’t have many good friends and I was the only one she could talk to. She knew that I sometimes had sex with men as well as with women, and she hoped I would settle down with the right man or woman. 

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Students explain, celebrate bisexuality pride – The Daily Eastern News

She came into the bedroom and saw me while I was naked masturbating and moaning, but I hadn’t cum yet. She looked at me and watched me for a few seconds and then smiling she said, ‘Let me help you’. I was surprised and delighted and embarrassed at the same time. I couldn’t hide my erection which was full and hard. I was torn between saying “no, it’s ok, I’ll do it myself” or stopping and getting dressed to have the conversation. She said “Let me get some baby oil”. I was surprised but also touched by her caring support and so aroused that I didn’t want to stop masturbating at that moment. 

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I didn’t object, and had secretly and half ashamedly hoped that one day she would enjoy seeing me masturbate and had fantasies that she would want to lick and suck my dick. She went to my cupboard and got out the baby oil, opened the top and poured some on her hands. Then she sat beside me on my bed, moved closer and took my dick in her hand. She said, “Son, just relax and be yourself, I know what you need. I’m your mother and I love you”. I knew that it was unusual but at the same time I thought that she’s my mum and she knows me as well as I know myself, and after all no one would ever know.

masturbating with my mother

She took off her nightie and I delighted in seeing my mum’s hairy pussy which I have wanted to fuck and suck, and I fantasized about burying my head in her hairy bush. I didn’t mind that her breasts were flat with thick long nipples.

Read: Are You Worried About the Disgrace or?

My mum knew that I had some sex toys under my bed and she bent down and took out a soft small black rubber penis shaped dildo.  “Do you want me to use this on you?” she said.  I shook my head but really wanted to nod my head and say yes. Instead I said, “No not yet, please keep masturbating me and suck me first”. I loved the way she sucked my dick, slow and sweet and masturbating me lovingly at the same time. She caressed my dick slowly and gently and gradually masturbating me faster and faster, and when she felt I was about to cum she would stop for a few seconds.  I moaned in ecstasy and we looked into each others eyes. She masturbated me and sucked my dick until I cum in her face and on her breasts.  Then she sucked and swallowed my cum sweetly and lovingly, and put her tongue in the hole at the top of my dick and sucked all the last drops of cum from my dick. She then pulled my head to her mouth and kissed me so deep that I too tasted and swallowed my cum from her mouth. 

Read: Inheriting Your Parents Enemies

After I had cum, we lay still for a little while. Me and my mother wrapped in each others arms. Soon she began kissing me on my mouth and I parted my lips and opened my mouth for her to put her tongue in. I began caressing her nipples and she pushed her breast to my mouth for me to suck. She played with one of her nipples while I sucked her other nipple.  I loved sucking her breasts and imagined that I was a child and wished that she had milk that I could suck. While I sucked her breasts, I began fingering her pussy slowly with one finger and then two fingers, and fucked her pussy with my fingers for a while and she moaned with joy. Soon she was very wet and I took my fingers out and bent my head between her legs and began licking and sucking her clit and and thrusting my tongue deep in her pussy. Soon she let out a loud moan as she cum in my mouth and shouted “OHH!” as she peed in my mouth.

golden showers with my mum


Guilt, Confusion & Assurance

Afterwards, I felt embarrassed , ashamed and guilty of sin. I had been brought up as a Roman Catholic Christian and I felt sick with disgust at myself. Would I now be condemned to Hell? How can I face my mother again? What does she think and feel? Will she hate me and kick me out? Maybe I should leave and find somewhere else to live? I was shaking and tearful with fear and self-loathing and confusion. I was just about to think of packing my bags when I heard my mother opening the door arriving back from shopping. I decided to try and talk with her and see if it was still possible for us to live together normally after what had happened. 

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My mother said “Are you ok son? Tell me what’s on your mind?”. I said “I’m confused about what happened between us and what we did. I’m scared that we will do it again”. My mother said, “Do you want us to stop? I don’t feel what we did was wrong. You’re an adult and so am I. What we do is our secret. It can be just a lovely experience we had. Did you not like it?”. I said, “I feel a bit ashamed and I’m worried about what if someone finds out? I did enjoy it but I feel guilty because I know that you haven’t had any relationship with anyone for all these years since my dad died. I feel that maybe I was taking advantage of you?”. She said, ”I’m old enough to know and understand what we did was not normal. But not being normal doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. It’s just different. It’s also not wrong because we both wanted it and I know I enjoyed it. I never wanted sex with just anyone. As a woman, I can still get that easily if I want, even though I’m nearly 70. I wanted to make love and we made good love that I enjoyed because I love you son, and I know how much you love me.” I said, “ Should I go and find somewhere else to live?”.

incest relationship with my mother

She said ”I can understand why you would feel the need to do that, but think about the practicalities. You’re not earning much. So you save a lot of money on rent as I only ask you to help with food and bills. So from a practical point of view it makes sense to stay here for at least another 6 months. What do you think about that?”  I said, “ I think that if I stay here then we might be tempted to have sex again.” She said, “No, we wouldn’t have sex again, we would make love. What we did was with caring and feeling and from a place of love. I’m not ashamed. I will make love with you again. But only if you want to.”

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I said, “What if one of my brothers or sisters found out? What if somehow someone in my job found out?”. She said “Do you really think I will tell any of your brothers and sisters that we made love? And I’m sure that you won’t tell any of your friends or work colleagues. So no one will know. No one will find out.”


She Knew All Along 

Same day…I went up to my bedroom, took off all my clothes, and as it was a warm summer night I lay on the bed naked, ready for sleep and work the next morning. I was almost asleep when I heard my mother calling me. I thought that maybe something was wrong or she wanted to talk and had changed her mind and wanted me to leave.  I went downstairs naked and she was also naked on her bed with the soft night time lamp on. Her legs were open and beside her on the bed were her soaking wet panties. 

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She said, ”It’s nice to see your erect cock. But first I want to tell you something. When you were a child I often saw you watching me shower through the broken pane of glass on the door. I didn’t stop you as I wanted you to see what a woman looks like naturally and not get false ideas from porn when you were older.  And I knew that you were sniffing my dirty knickers as the laundry basket was always in the wrong order when I did the washing. ”I was shocked, I responded, ”But what if my father had seen me? He would have beaten me so mercilessly and maybe shouted at you.” She said, “I know you masturbated and cum in my knickers as I could smell that the cum was different from your fathers cum.” I said, “Oh! Now I’m embarrassed and ashamed!”. She said, “It’s ok. How else was a little boy to learn about his sexuality? I have wet my knickers from masturbating and I have put them next to me on the bed for you to play with. Come and lay next to me. I can see from your erect cock that you want me, don’t you?”

bisexual man has sex with his mother

I’m sure you already know what happened next. Sex with my mother became a thing, it happened every other day until she passed away seven years ago. 

Dear reader, having read my experience and how consensual it was with my mother, would you still tag me a sinner? A sinner because what I did is wrong? Like my mother said, something being wrong doesn’t make it a sin. I love histories, and getting immersed in ancient Egyptian stories, I feel no more  guilt finding out that the Egyptians held in high esteem sex between family members to retain heirs to the throne. What makes this age different? I’ll want your sincere comments on this 😶👇👇

4 min read

Life we say is unfair.  A friend once said to me, “it has to be bad for someone for it to be good for you”… likewise vice versa. In my case, as much as it leaves the other party at an unfair disadvantage, I cannot but be happy for myself.  The only thing I find unfair regarding my experience which I intend to share with you is this statement;  “Marriage is for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part”. It’s blinding, it makes you not see things clearly even when they’re right before your eyes. In marriage, they say if the other party hasn’t brutally wronged you, then you have no right to walk away. In my eyes, ‘wrongs’ in marriage should not be subjected to a particular pedestal, the littlest of things which is considered flimsy to the majority should not be invalidated. They are also wrongs too. 

I am a married woman who’s in love with another. What could my husband have done to make me have my eyes set on another? Well I don’t have the answers. Twelve years ago when I walked down the aisle with him, I never planned for this to happen. But it is what it is, I’ve found myself deeply in-love with a man 6 years younger than I am. I never knew I had the strength to go through with this, but it remains one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Read: Why I Cheat on my Wife

soulmate after marriage


How We Started Vs How It’s Going

So this fateful day, Andre slid into my DM  to enquire further about a business deal I posted, he liked my response and decided to stick around as a friend. As time went on, we became very cool friends, he was really open about his life and journey and that made me feel so comfortable around him. I started opening up to him about my life as well, business and my worries, and now, he’s so there for me, no matter what. He’s proven to be a good support system, the definition of intentional in a way that makes love refreshing. 

Reading: Why I Love Older Women

Wonder how I can tell Andrea truly loves me? Well love is in the eyes. I see it, I feel it, and in fact breathe it when I’m with him. With him, it’s a ‘we’ thing and not a sole journey. Little things matter when love is involved, we decorated his apartment together, so it feels like home for me. He has essentials in his house for my use whenever I come around,  has my flow chart app on his phone, and he is up to date. He is open about his finances, I know how much he earns, he ensures I get a gift from him always, no matter how little. He fills his fridge with drinks that I like.

soulmate after marriage

Andrea totally understands my pattern and mood, and important to mention how kind he is to people around him too, so I know he’s not just not being sweet to me. He doesn’t judge me, he supports me and pushes me to be a better person. Gosh! He cares so much about me that it scares me. As the sweet girl that I am, I reciprocate all this by loving him against all odds. I’m so used to him that I can’t imagine my life without him, I call him the love of my life, he calls me his sweet face. We are like high school lovers, we are soul mates! He writes the sweetest notes, he is really expressive about his feelings and that has forced me out of my shell too. I can tell him exactly how I feel, how I want to be loved. He allows me to be myself, I don’t have to hide my true and crazy self. He apologizes first when we argue. We throw subtle shade at each other, and we don’t take things personally.



I am not going to talk about the other person, feel free to judge us based on what I’ve shared with you. And if you say Andrea might be too young for me, I am not threatened by his age, he in fact makes me feel like a baby. There’s  a lot to say but the summary is, for the first time in my life, I’m in love with someone who treats me right, loves my body the way it is and never holds back. I like to believe I’ve found my soulmate, though unfortunate after marriage. 

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soulmate after marriage

Many would point fingers at me, and ask why I decided to cheat on my husband, and even conclude that the best approach would have been to communicate with my husband on how I want to be loved.  You see,  as much as love is teachable, it’s not teachable too. The heart would always gravitate in the direction it wants to. What my husband has given me so far, is his best understanding of how he sees love. It’s not enough for me, and it’ll be further unfair for me to keep overreaching. Communication is beautiful, but we must learn to walk away when the people we hope to hear us cannot comprehend. Even in marriage too. 

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Now my big question… I mentioned earlier that people only encourage walking away from marriage when one’s partner has brutally wronged them. In this case, they mean domestic violence. Based on my experience, I’ll say it’s wrong to have that as the only qualifier. Should I remain married to a person who has brutally wronged me by not loving me in the way that I want to?  Both singles and married readers, I need your honest opinion. I know some married folks go through this too, please share your experience with me in the comment section👇👇.


6 min read

One would think that having a ‘friend with benefits’ aka ‘situationship’ is as easy as reciting ABC, free as a bird you say yeah? No commitments, getting laid by any tom, dick, and Jessica…without having to explain yourself to your situationship partner right? Well, that’s a social media orientation, don’t be like me fam because such wokeness has landed me on a very slippery street. Sometimes I try to stand fam, but baby girl ends us giving a humpty dumpty show😭. 

Fam I’m in a full-blown situationship and to say the least, it’s not what I expected. So yeah, we are not in a relationship or exclusive but then we do stuff like a couple, plan birthdays, dates, sex…but hollop! There are no commitments. Nobody told me it always ends up being messy, in my head I felt I can take a bow when I’m no longer feeling this or when I find someone I can bear it all to, but I was wrong fam …let’s go

REVEALED! The Difference Between A Relationship And A Situationship


I met baby a few months after a horrible break up which was my fault & I’m still in love with my ex who is happily married. Sadly I have adjusted to stalking him on all SM platforms to be sure wifey is taking good care of him. Back to Baby. Baby is an amazing guy, he found me during the lockdown and went all out for me with attention, care, love, and all that comes with a relationship but I made it clear that I won’t date him for reasons best known to me. To be honest, I knew I wasn’t ready to be in a committed relationship cause I had a lot of baggage, exes, undefined relationships here and there with both genders and I wasn’t ready to add somebody’s son to it but he chose to stay and it’s being one bumpy ride.

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50% of the time it’s amazing and the rest of the 50% is war. It becomes too toxic for comfort. On toxicity yeah, whenever we have a fight or misunderstanding of any sort, Baby sees that as an avenue to abuse me verbally, he says all manner of hurtful words to me regardless of how I feel. He’s aggressive, insecure, and overly domineering. 40% of the fights we’ve had have always been about me refusing to say stuff about my past and small lies here and there (he hates lies). Baby wants to know everything about me, but I always share what I deem necessary and keep the rest of my exes and all sorts to myself. I don’t like to divulge into personal issues but he wants me to bear it all.

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But guess who has a smart mouth and won’t let him get away with it? You guessed right. I always use the opportunity to let him know we’re not in a relationship and that always hurts his feelings cause he feels so strongly for me.

what are we question


You see, that’s the thing, I’m confused. Every scene plays out like couples fronting but shying away from a tag. After every fight, I’ll call it quits and he would come begging or he would, while I go begging. At the initial stage, I thought I had it figured out but right now, I must be honest, I can’t go a day without talking to him. I feel so at peace with him, he’s the first person I want to share good or bad news with. Not to sound cliché the thought of him at any time (fight/no fight) gives me butterflies.

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Something tells me he’s figured out I’ve developed feelings for him. You know, no matter how hard you try you can’t hide love. I show it sometimes and do certain stuff that only love can make me do & when I get back to my senses, I start picking fights with him over unnecessary things.

how to avoid situationships

Not once, not twice, I’ve been tempted to tell him how I really feel but I didn’t, knowing that I’m still a mess and wouldn’t want a complicated relationship. You know when stuff like this gets defined yeah? There’s this sense of accountability that creeps, you would want to be intentional about your partner and stuff. We are not dating yet, and he never fails to be vocal about how he wants more every opportunity he gets, now imagine if we put a tag on it. Sometimes I tell myself I’m overthinking this relationship thingy, and that I should just accept his damn proposal and see how things play out but my guts fail me. 

Maybe why I haven’t accepted is because we are two different people. We enjoy each other’s company and good sex too, but you know that moment where you have to come to terms with the fact that you cannot have someone forever because there are certain things they do or traits they possess you cannot live with. Baby is an amazing guy really, asides from him being aggressive, possessive and sometimes exhibiting misogynistic behavior I don’t quite get. These are red flags for me. In every situation, I like to think about the positive and negative, whichever outweighs the other is what I go for regardless of how I feel. I am scared that I may push Baby to the wall one day and he will beat the hell out of me or worse. So that’s why I always decline his proposal, although he still has hope that I will say yes to him one day.

Read: Stop the Deceit! Whoever You’re Dating Owes You

situationship red flags



We had a fight recently and it was hard without him. I missed him so much for someone who I claim is not my man. But I think I felt more hurt, depressed, and disappointed because I brought this upon myself. We’ve been down this road for seven months, I should have walked away a long time ago, maybe at our first fight. But right now, I feel trapped in my feelings for him. This has been the most amazing and draining situationship ever fam.

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I want out but then I will miss baby so much. He practically knows everything about me, like we talk all the time. If we had met at a different time, he may have stood a chance. I’ve hinted him of wanting to let go of whatever it is that we share but he’s not having it. I am not having it either but this has to end yeah??? Do you get??? I used to think that having a friend with benefits or being in a so-called situationship would save me from all the stress that comes with a relationship but that’s a big fat lie. Situationships also puts your life on hold, with Baby it is disrespectful seeing other people, I always feel like I am cheating on him but we aren’t an item for fuck’s sake! I have dismissed other potential romantic partners cause I don’t want to disrespect Baby and also preserve what we have. But right now, I can’t have him and it’s so hard to have to walk away too. I feel stuck Mutterers, I need your advice. If you’ve ever been or still are in a situationship, I’ll like to know how it ended for you, or perhaps how it’s going. 



9 min read

I always say I’m a different kind of lesbian considering my background. I never went to a boarding school, or so to say, ‘an only girls’ boarding school as that’s one of the backboned reasons people attribute as the cause of being a lesbian. Also, I grew up in a catholic home with a single mother who did all she could to make sure we weren’t exposed to sexual stuff and immoralities to the best of her abilities so if there was anyone who should not be sexually aware it would be me.

The purpose of sharing this is to tell you all about my lesbian marriage, but I reckon a bit of a back story would give you a clearer picture of my personhood.

catholic lesbian


I was molested as a child, should that have been a tangible reason to want to spend the rest of my life with a lady? Hello No.

I was prepared early for marriage and had my first marriage proposal at thirteen to the delight of my mother who believes if a girl marries early it means she was raised well and that she would make an ideal wife. I didn’t give any of her suitor recommendations a chance though, rather  I lived most of my adult life running away from home to avoid marriage proposals and my mother’s 2 am conversations. Has it been easy being on the run? Hell no!!

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I remember clearly the first time I had a crush on a girl, I was in primary three and she was a new pupil. I remember her well each time I prick my memory and several other crushes I had while growing up. All the while I didn’t think there were people anywhere in the world like me.

abusive lesbian relationship in Nigeria

My first relationship (If I should call it that) was with an older married woman and I think that set me on the wrong track of taking love from whichever angle it was thrown at me. I was a child, about 16-years-old and we had met in a church group. I had a mad crush on her and my friend ended up ratting me out to her. I was mostly grateful she even looked my way because she was hot and way older than me so I was totally out of her league. I allowed her to treat me however she deemed fit, called only when she wanted to talk and saw me when she was in the mood. Everything happened only at her timing and that spilled off to my ensuing relationships. I just allowed people to treat me however they liked, even if I knew how I should be treated, I just didn’t protest for fear of losing them. But I’ve grown past that and learned to demand things exactly as I want them. I started off on the wrong foot but am grateful for the lessons and growth.


Even though the option was never made available for me as a child, I always knew that if I wanted a happy life then I’d have to marry a girl. Probably a white girl because I was going to do whatever it’ll take to escape Nigeria and migrate abroad so I could live life the way I wanted. But life had a different plan for me and I always imagine God looking down at me and smiling, knowing it won’t happen as chronologically as I had planned it to.

planning a queer marriage in Nigeria

Before I met my wife I was sure of the life I wanted and how I wanted it. I wanted someone I can build a life with, someone who does not care about proving anything to anyone, and I stuck with my guts. I didn’t care how long I was going to be single because I was now on social media and now I could see people doing it and I knew it was what I wanted and I was going to keep living until someone who wanted the same things came along. I met my wife on my page @diaryofanaijalesbian, she had come to rant about issues and we just started talking all the time and before we knew it we just got used to talking to each other all time. Then we planned a short visit and got trapped due to covid lockdown which forced us to be in each other’s space than we had planned. And viola! A three-day visit became a two months visit because I was waiting for the airport to reopen.

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Our lives changed for the better forever. I tell people there were no special events or romantic moments that happened prior to our meeting, I just needed someone who had an understanding of who they are and what they want, and she came with my whole list ticked. I knew she was going to be my wife when we had conversations on what we both wanted and we were very honest in that conversation. We put our cards on the table, talked about roles, kids, managing relatives, and gossips. We realized and agreed we wanted the same things. I didn’t care who will be vexed with the fact that I am choosing myself and living on my own terms.

nigerian queer marriages

Like I said earlier before marriage,  I left home early because I knew that was the only way I could buy myself time to live the way I’ve always wanted. My younger brother is the only person in my house that knows about my wife and he loves her so much. As per my wife’s family, I’d say they choose the path of pretending to be ignorant and we are both enjoying that. Her sisters who know are super amazing and we are grateful for them because they go far and beyond to make life easier for us.

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I am a Nigerian Igbo lesbian and you know how patriarchy is often attributed to the Igbos, likewise the tribes’ enormous frown at the existence of LGBTQ, right!? Well, that’s not the scary part of our relationship. My wife is from northern Nigeria, a geographical location where you can’t be older than 25years and single without living like an outcast, now that’s scary. However, we do not care what anybody feels, we love each other and will keep living one day at a time as the universe allows us. 

How Black LGBTIQ+ travelers navigate a challenging world – Lonely Planet

Did we have a wedding ceremony? I always laugh before responding to this question anytime it arises and my response is that I am married and not wedded. Marriage happens before weddings and so we haven’t had a ceremony to celebrate our vows to each other to do life together. The ceremony was us making that life-changing vows to each other and choosing to be wives for the rest of our lives.



I think everything about same-sex co-existence especially in this clime relies on conversations and honesty. Before my wife and I moved from relationship to the commitment, I remember we had a lot of honest conversations where we talked about everything. She had our son in a previous marriage and he calls us Mama and Mom, and everybody around us knows that and when they ask we simply tell them he has two moms and end the conversation there. I don’t see any reason to start explaining to anyone why it is like that.

I agreed to have our own kids when we are ready. We intend to buy sperm and do IVF or get a donor and use the artificial insemination process.

Read: I Had My First Lesbian Sex… I’m Confused

LGBTQ Fertility Challenges Can Be 'Invisible' And 'Disarming' | HuffPost Canada Parents


Marriage is a co-existence of two people who understand that they both need each other to navigate life as it happens to them whether straight or queer. There is absolutely no difference between both despite popular opinions. People tend to generally think queer relationships are easier than straight ones and it’s a funny mindset if you ask me because in straight relationships there is already a societal manuscript to follow while for us, we are out here shooting blank, trying to pull through in a world where men are known to navigate life easier than women. Marriage generally demands love, loyalty, dedication, and commitment and it’s not different for gay marriages.

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I have never been in a straight marriage before but I’ve been around people who are and I’ll say that discussing roles is usually not the norm in straight marriages as it is in queer marriages. This is because like earlier stated straight marriages have manuscripts they imitate whereas in gay marriages especially in this clime depends on the individuals. For us, there were roles we had to spell out but mostly we just wing it as we go depending on our individual strengths and otherwise. We have our biological roles sorted out like who gets to have which of our babies, whose families we can trust with certain aspects of our lives and who goes to a 9-5, and who runs the home front. But asides from these, other things we wing as they happen mostly because there are no role models or books to rely on so we are mostly shooting blank.

Nigerian lesbian marriage



I am very confident in how much we love each other and the life we are building and I don’t regret any part of my life as it is. I am confident in the person I chose to do life with me. Has it always been rosy? Hell no!!! We have had to fight ourselves and each other to be here but every day the universe keeps giving reasons to keep choosing each other. Most days are blissful and rosy, other days the world just wants to remind us to not relax too much and we are grateful for how much we have grown and if it ever comes to choosing my wife again? I’ll choose her still because as hard as it is to be a lesbian in this clime it is even harder to find someone who wants the same things as you do and that’s a gift we both do not take for granted (if am to speak for her).

Read: My Crooked Smile Experience as a Lesbian in Nigeria

Nigerian Lesbian Marriage


My issue with many Nigerian queer couples in the path of coexistence is that most tend to forget easily that they live in a country where their sheer existence is illegal. I understand the need to push beyond the law but I see no reason to try to be a martyr about it. I don’t need to post a picture of my wife and me kissing on social media to prove anything to anybody, I don’t need to come out to every tom-dick-harry to make my point, I owe no one no explanations. And when anybody asks I choose whether to let them in or not, our story is on a need-to-know basis depending on who is asking.

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I don’t think it is the SSMPA that is stopping us from living our best lives here in Nigeria, I think it is our need to live in people’s faces and prove points. As much as this is not so bad, we should also remember that before the anti-gay bill was passed by the senate, people have been homophobic and hypocritical so instead of living life to prove any point to anybody, I think life would be easier if we focus on getting through one day at a time and loving the people that love us the best way we can. The law is not responsible for all the vices within the community, so instead of looking at a law passed in Abuja, we should look inward and do our best to be good and kind people.

Nigerian lesbian marriage



You are not entitled to any explanations and it is not religious to ostracize and criminate things because they are not in an age-old book that hasn’t been reviewed. Stop swallowing words from the pulpit and learn to educate yourself. Unlearn, relearn and keep learning. Live and let live too.

Feel free to relay your reservations about my story in the comments section, likewise any questions you might have (will try to answer them). If you’re a queer reading this, probably married or single, I’ll appreciate it if you can share your break-free stories too. 😁👇

7 min read

I recall vividly my happiest moment as a child,  it was the day I finally bid home farewell to boarding school. An opportunity most of my age mates only felt less excited for because obviously, it was their first time being away from home, and importantly, they’ll miss the care from family and the feeling of existing in a sound place called home. Why was I happy to leave home? Home was a slaughterhouse! My father being the butcher and me, my mum and my siblings were the scapegoats. Hardly a week went by without any of us getting a deep bleeding wound, courtesy of my father. It was either a swollen skin, swollen eyes or head, or a cut anywhere else. Tell you what, at age nine, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure.

Home was not a safe haven, boarding school was for me. I barely came home for the holidays. I just stayed in school, participating in every kind of extracurricular activity ( cricket, basketball, etc.),  anything to help me stay far away from my father. The times I was mandated to come home was unforgivable, as the calendar ticked closer to the holidays, my heart leaped for fear.

i am scared of my father
Image source- TV Fanatic

Let Me Tell You About My Father

Have you ever met a man so cruel enough to admire seeing your skin bleed,  yet benevolent in providing you with the facilities you need to navigate life? He brutalized us at will in the name of discipline even for the littlest things like mistakenly breaking a plate, misplacing items, etc. Name the weapons, cable wire, cutlass, his hands, and his energetic way of throwing anything he sees on sight at you. We constantly had family members and our neighbors coming to our aid most times. Often times, those who come to our aid went home irritated and angry, worst case they became the enemy of the family. And I, my mom, and siblings were made to inherit the enmity created by my dad.

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Our family was on the watch list of the whole community, so when we went out to play with other kids their parents always warned them not to play with us for fear of encountering my dad.  The fear of him made our subconscious mind and hearing accustomed to his car honk seven blocks away. Not just us, but the neighbors, ‘go inside o, your dad is coming!’ they often alerted us, likewise they running inside too.

how to know your child is depressed

It was the norm for 18 years of my life living under his roof. As I write this article, I have this very huge scar on my left shoulder that went through 32 stitches. YES! MY DAD DID IT! He used a very sharp cutlass on me, his SON, simply because I was caught communicating with my mum over the phone. She had fled the hell called home because she had it worse than we did. I still look at the scar and remember  9-11 -2008, coincidentally, it was the same day. When the world talks about the famous 9-11 event, I can only remember the wickedness of my father. 

His Benevolence 

The comforting part of his shortcomings was that we never lacked. He is very hardworking and competent in provision. He doesn’t joke with Education, he would help with my physics and geography assignments but mathematics was a tormenting ride with him. For every time I got an answer wrong, he would either whip me, slap me hard until my eyes were stained with blood. One time he held my head and scrubbed my mouth on the floor, I bleed my meat out of my lips. 

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Beaten Black Children by their fathers

And yeah, to dilute his wickedness, he would compensate with a shopping spree. He bought us the latest toys, and my mum the finest wrappers that showcased her as a beautiful Delta Igbo woman. She would put them on with a smile but only a wise man could tell it was a facade. She lived in deep regret.

A Conjugal Warfare

For as long I could remember, my mum was in grief throughout her marriage with him. I never experienced a share of genuine love between them. She would get brutalized for mere quarrels with him and also when she tried to intercede whenever he was beating us cats and dogs. I can never forget her midnight wailings that God should change him, but it only got worse.

Read: Are You Worried About the Disgrace or…

Back then,  we were Catholics and how ironic, my dad was the chairman of the Catholic Men Organisation (CMO). He was not only famous for his numerous donations but also revered as righteous. This made my mum not to confide in anyone in church but instead decided to try other denominations with hopes to get saved from her husband’s brutality.

my father beats my mother

One Sunday after we came back from morning mass, there was a misunderstanding between my mom and my dad that resulted in my mom swimming in a pool of blood gushing from her head.  My dad could care less. I witnessed him sitting comfortably on his ottoman chair watching  ‘People’s Palava’ on MITV. And while she was crying for help, he looked at her with spite and said ‘I am the God in this family, I can take any of you’s life without questioning’.   I was only 15, but I was made to carry the cross of assisting my bleeding mum to the toilet for safety before going over to call our family friend’s whom my dad respected so much.

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They heard my cry and drove me to the Rev Father who followed us home. Shockingly,  my mom was ok and her wound had been dressed by our neighbor who is a nurse. However, the most disappointing of it all was seeing my mom in the kitchen cooking for him. The reverend father advised my mom to leave the marriage for her life …GBAM !!! if a reverend could say this, then you know it’s that bad. My mom hesitated leaving because of her kids, she adores us so much. But eventually after I finished secondary school,  she finally got divorced. Now she is happily married and owns a home in Texas, she  also co-owns an orphanage home with her husband.

divorcee finding love again

The Cause And Effect

My mum left without us because he refused, but at the age of 18, I was able to run away without looking back. The experience made me grow up faster. As the first child, I was responsible for my mum and sibling’s mental state. Now we look back and smile at our experience, though sometimes it lingers in my mom’s mind and she sheds tears but she wipes them and smiles. 

Read: Child to Child Cruelty; These Scars May Never Die

Before our freedom, I noticed my siblings, also males were starting to show tendencies of aggression. It was tilting to become like my dad’s, if care was not taken. I had to constantly nip it in the bud by showing them gentlemanly ways. I knew it was the side effect of the many tormenting experience living with my dad and it could most likely mar them for life. I say this because the brutality my dad showed was a result of his upbringing.  He was also brutalized by his father, and the brutality was also extended to his mother. My dad’s childhood damaged him. He couldn’t give us love because he was never shown love.  I have myself in control, because right from time, I knew there was more to all the bad emotions that occupied our home. I found peace living in my head (imaginations), I created a better family, a better experience, a better reaction compared to the reaction in my reality, all in my head (imagination). I looked forward to my own happiness, I knew it would come one day, I learned how to deal with all my demons ( fear, anxiety, depression, hate, etc)  and replaced them with the opposite. I didn’t let his wickedness infect me. All I do now is make sure my siblings are surrounded with so much love, so they can be exemplary.

my bad father black brothers love

Now the only relationship I have with my dad is business talks and that’s because he has what I need (funds and connections). Deep down I know he regrets his actions, he tries to show it sometimes but I  just ignore the signs and let him drown in his guilt of being a bad father and a bad husband. Frankly, I do not have any hatred for him, nor do I wish that my childhood was different. Rather the experience has made me conscious of being a good man, an attribute I might have lacked. I might have lacked empathy if I hadn’t experienced the lack of it. It made me learn that emotions are a luxury. The fact that people have the ability to show some emotions in excess doesn’t mean it is normal. Like I put in effort in my job, I put in the effort with good emotions too. It makes me satisfied.

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Now you, how would you describe the method of training by your parents? Did it make you the man or woman that you are today? Also, do you agree that the best form of discipline is by beating a child? And if you grew up in a warzone like mine, with a tormenting father (or mother), please lets learn of your experience in the comment section😪👇.

5 min read

” All characters and events depicted in this series are fictitious, any resemblance…” Movies which begin their race with a note of denegation are incisive (judgment based on the ones I’ve watched). ‘King of Boys: The Return of the King’, personifies this.

One moment I’m dancing to its rhythm as a face-valued entertaining film, but the next and even more recurrently, I wish I could fall hook, line, and sinker for the disclaimer but Nah. ‘King of Boys: The Return of the King’ is too accurate for mere fiction, especially in its vivid reflection of the political monkey business (Nigeria as a case study). However, like the amiable director, Kemi Adetiba, I’d like to plead the fifth on name callings but I’m certain you’ll get the gist as you read through my review of the film.

Kemi Adetiba on king of boys 2
The amiable director, Kemi Adetiba

Need I mention that King of Boys 1, released in 2018, left me too emotional but watching the season, I consider it wasted emotions because the season is the ideal crackerjack. I didn’t even expect it’ll be continued as a series, yeah… thumbs up to Kemi Adetiba! I don’t know how she did it but I was on my toes throughout watching.

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Before I delve into the eye-openers, let me appreciate the movie’s use of biblical allusions. The first and only appearance of Makanaki to Odoguwu Malay is a nostalgic reference for the resurrection of Jesus in his appearance to Thomas. I couldn’t help but think of the resurrection story as Makanaki refers to Odogwu as ‘doubting Thomas’ and shortly after, tells him to touch his scar.

King of boys

Another symbolic scene almost immediately somewhat in tandem with the bible is the presentation of Odogwu’s body guard’s head on a tray. For some reason, I found it a mimic of the death of John the Baptist only that in this context, the head was not a promise to anyone’s heir but a promise borne out of bitter revenge. 



Now The Eye-openers…

There’s much to see and feel while watching ‘King of Boys: The Return of the King’.  From dirty politics to the complexity of the human mind, and even love being thematically represented…the movie is a carrier of diversified and discerning warmth. 

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Power is A Combination: The role of the main character Eniola Salami, made me understand that power is not a stand-alone possession but a combination of being intelligent, smart, and a mystical aura obtained from a myriad of experiences. The yardstick to qualify a person as ‘Powerful’, should not be based on the fact that they occupy a position of power. Eniola Salami has it all. An omini knowest go-getter lol, one moment you think that she’s being played, the next moment, she switches up and we see a different king of boys in action.

Eniola Salami's role in King of Boys 2

Materialism Is Not the Only Answer to Gaining Loyalty: Although rare, but loyalty is not dead! If loyalty was a person, then it would be Ade Tiger. Not until the big twist, I thought he would betray the oba (Eniola). His role in the movie makes me believe in loyalty, it makes me believe that there are actually people who can take a bullet for me literally but something gotta give and it’s not always materialistic. Eniola’s passion and promised assurance were all he needed to ride and die with her. To add, Ade Tiger is such a fineeee man and the whole thug life suits his persona perfectly.

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Permanent Enemies or Friends Do Not Exist: Like every man has a price, reconciliation is inevitable. Who would have thought of that twist? Ehn? Makanaki and the oba (Eniola), burying the hatchet? Whew! well, when it involves politics, there are no permanent allies and no permanent foes, everyone is led on by a mutual interest, which is power. 

the review of king of boys 2

Church and Politics: Yeah, I agree that every unit in the society harbors a stench of politics but you see, the church is the main culprit. The character,  Reverend Ifeanyi, is symbolic of the whispered church sins we see in society. From meddling with politicians for money to stylishly endorsing them to their congregation to secure votes and even down to church leaders owning a dirty closet that’s a far cry away from church doctrines. The holier than thou Reverend Ifeanyi’s character exposes it all.

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A Thin Line Between Passion and Foolhardy: Passion for one’s job is good. Hard work is great. But do not lose yourself, your family, and everything you love while pursuing your career.  Dapo learns this the hard way. He loses his family, career and worse still, he had a dent in his name and image. Not agreeing that what his boss did was right, but not knowing when to stop is foolish. Dapo in my opinion, should have not dug further into the story, accepting defeat does not mean a lack of courage, after all, it’s said that he who runs away lives to fight another day.

king of boys 2

Strength Can be a Facade: The First Lady, Jumoke Randle is intriguing. Her poise and confidence are felt throughout the film but we later see that it weakens at the sight of greater power, her mother-in-law. As much as I could perceive her strong will to do anything for her husband and family’s interest, her character succeeds in passing a message of how someone can appear so confident yet still seeks validation.

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Kemi Adetiba and the entire cast and crew, made me fall swiftly for ‘King of Boys: The Return of the King’. I totally enjoyed every bit of the film both in an entertaining sense and on a deeper level. What do you think of the movie, especially the lessons you learned from watching it? Do you want a continuation? In my opinion, this is as good as a closed chapter, subsequent seasons might jinx it lol, not doubting Kemi’s talent to do a good job the umpteenth time though. A friend of mine holds the opinion that Boxer’s case was a setup and if there would be a continuation, Ade Tiger might betray Eniola Salami. What are your thoughts on this? And yeah other reservations you have about the film. Kindly leave your comments 😁👇


5 min read

I am a mixture of very nasty and crazy deeds, tilting more in the sexual direction. It’s that bad that I don’t have a sex fantasy as I’ve explored in reality every sexual nastiness or weirdness my mind has ever imagined. When people talk sex fantasy, I can’t relate, that’s for cowards lol… shady much, I know. 

Reading through my lineup of sex adventures, most of you will call me dirty but yeah right, that’s for you. It’s freaky for me and I enjoy every bit of the shit. So stick with me…

bite sexy lips guf


My openness about sex is second to none. Like a hunter aiming for prey, when I finally clamp down on my desired woman, I do not hesitate to tell her what I want to do with her body. Being vocal about it can be upsetting to some but trust me, it saves me time and you know the funny thing…bitches might front a little but they always come around. All a nigga gotta do is set the cheese in the right places to catch the rat (bitch).

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I belong to a few sex sites and this particular one, I talked a lot about BDSM with this lady, and fortunately for my dick, we clicked naturally. You know what it means yeah winks… To cut the long story short, we eventually met. I submitted to her and got bundled and tied like hopeless Isaac waiting to be sacrificed by father Abraham. It was part of the game if you understand what BDSM entails 😁. 

BDSM for beginners
Image source- Healthline

It was my first time to experience COCK AND BALL TORTURE. If you’ve never heard of this before, like the name, it involves applying pain to the penis and testicles for pleasure. I always read about it on erotic sites, likewise watched videos but never had the liver to try it, as we know the D is very precious. 

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She majored on my dick for about an hour. Tied my dick and then started to soothe my balls. I for one was so thrilled by the dexterity of her palms in running my balls to give it the sweetest feel I think I ever had. This time my balls were filled and maximally bulgy.  She stroked my tied dick gently as she tongued my balls. I came to the point of erupting (cumming) when she suddenly stopped. Whoa! 😬 that feeling. 

What Is Cock and Ball Torture
Image source- Sophia Grey

She allowed me some minutes then came back at this repeatedly, this time my balls were damn heavy and full. For one, I know I have big balls, however, I had never felt my balls so swollen, in no time I began to feel a painful sensation in my tummy. It was to her delight and exactly the way she wanted it played out. Whenever I’m eased she gently tongues my balls and tickles my dick. Really cannot count how many times we had the back and forth, but at some point, I am moaning, and another time, I am grunting in pain. While at this she was touching herself and I could see how enthralled she was having a good time. 

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At the climax of my pain, I shouted the safe word for the umpteenth time before she released me. As my gift, she later drained my balls totally, sucking me of every cum. I enjoyed it but after the relief, the pain stuck with me for hours. I was damn weak.  Will I try ball and cock torture again??? Well well… we shall see.

how to perform cock and ball torture
Image Source- DH Gate


I got a weird sexual fetish that you might consider dirty, well that’s on you. It took me time to own up to it because I found it quite weird. Right from childhood I have had this fetish and cannot recall the root cause. My fetish revolves around a woman’s ass, licking and eating the pussy is one thing I like but eating and licking a woman’s ass hole is a whole new level for me.  

Read: Let’s Play A Game…Fetish or Obsessions?

I love being facesitted, like when a lady presses her bum on my face and chokes me… ughhh😍. While she’s facesitting me, I deep my nose in her ass and sniff her asshole deeply and thereafter rolling my tongue into her ass hole… yummy 😋. I love to watch a lady’s ass in that untidy state, love to have a lady fart loudly in my face while at it, hmm. 

How To Give A freaky Rim Job
Image Source-

I love to see a lady taking a poo, as the sight of this is a real turn-on for me. And as soon as she’s done, feasting starts, I eat her ass immediately after she’s done. Fuck the poo stains, it’s all mine to relish. In the absence of this, sniffing a lady’s panties and smelling her yummy ass is my drug🥵

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Like I said earlier, it began in my childhood. I could remember way back when I was in primary 1 or 2, there was this girl that sat in front of the class, my seat was at the back. I would go under the desk, yank her pants and lick her buttocks lol 😆. She would always threaten to tell our class teacher while I begged her not to. Yeah, I was that spoilt as a child, still can’t trace how it all began but tell you what, I love it to bits.

freaky sex and fetishes

The only issue I have that tends to kill the joy in my sexual exploration is that most ladies I meet either find it disgusting or too shy to agree. But the ones who do are fire! 

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Call it dirty? I call it freaky. What’s the weirdest sex activity you enjoy? One many might call dirty or weird and how does it make you feel? In case you’re wondering what my fetish is called, it’s rimming. What’s your opinion about it though? A smash or pass? Common guys, don’t be shy, let’s get freaky in the comment section👇👇… hmm yummy🤤.


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8 min read

As a child, I had a very high libido, I loved the idea of sex right from when I was 12 as I read a lot of erotica (still do) that made me get addicted to masturbating from that age. I loved the idea of a boy wanting me and touching me. I was basically boy crazy in secondary school, I got in at age 10 meeting classmates a little older. They would watch porn and sometimes I watched it with them. I loved it but what really piqued my interest was the romance novels. I have an imaginative mind so I would vividly imagine what was going on in my head which led me several times to rub myself on the pillow and just any surface.

By the time I was in SS2 I had my first orgasm in class when my female friends were talking and I became horny and I kept rubbing my thighs together. I couldn’t scream I just laid my head on the desk and tried to calm down. I didn’t know it was because of my ovulation. Fast forward to after my WAEC and was home waiting for admission. I began to explore my body by touching myself and doing all sorts of nasty things to make me cum. For some reason, I began to watch lesbian porn and it appealed so much to me and I started to see girls differently. I would imagine myself kissing a girl, touching her, and having lesbian sex. It was my little secret.

Read: I Missed A Step At Becoming A Lesbian
How do lesbians have sex? Myths, tips, positions, and more
Source- Net Doctor


I couldn’t place how my love for sex and sexually related topics continued to blossom despite coming from a strict religious home. I grew up in a conservative home where we prayed for everything. I was the best in Sunday school and in fact the golden girl in church. I read passages in the bible of the head and would compete in bible quizzes where I was either first or second.

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My mum is a konk Christian woman who has a grave hatred for trousers, makeup, and so on, but my dad has no religion. My mum would always preach chastity to me as per the first child and warned me about not bringing disgrace to the family. She had no idea I was sunk in pornography because I knew how to play obediently. The only time she found something foul with me was when I was 14 and she read my diary and saw I had a crush on one of the boys in my class. She didn’t take it lightly with me, she ranted about my sin for days and I vowed to never let her know anything about me again.

Mother scolding frustrated daughter for being a lesbian
Source- Westend61


I had come to accept that females were more sexually appealing to me than males, but I was scared to pursue it for fear of family wrath so whenever the feeling came, it remained in my head.

The temptation grew out of hand when I got an admission to the university and had two female roommates. You know how girls are, always wanting to be either stark naked or half-naked when they’re indoors. My roommates barely wore clothes and I found myself sexually attracted and tempted to suck their nipples and do everything sexually crazy to satisfy my sexual urge. The urge was strong, but I lacked the confidence to approach either of them so I hated anytime they were naked and tried to caution them. I never let them in on my true feelings.

I wasn’t bold enough to approach any female on campus either to propose how I felt, so I made it a conscious effort to scrap the idea of being with a lady.

shy black lesbian having sex
Source- Comfy Girl With Curls


Last year, I clocked 20 and had sex for the first time (heterosexual sex). I can’t remember a lot but it was uncomfortable. I started having sex properly after that. I love having sex with men but I never had orgasms, I mostly faked it and since my pussy is usually very wet, none of the men would imagine I wasn’t satisfied. I usually would masturbate after sex to get full satisfaction.

Read: My Crooked Smile Experience as a Lesbian in Nigeria

I met my present boyfriend this year. He made me feel good. He is dark and handsome and has a very nice personality but his friend, a female, has this aura that makes me surrender. So intriguing, she is sex-positive and openly bisexual. She rekindled my suppressed feeling for females and truthfully I’ve found myself wanting her more than I want my man.

bi and lesbian sex
Source- Book Riot

One night I was high and when I am high,  I have no inhibitions. We were watching a movie and she placed her head on my lap. I started touching her little by little, then I touched her breasts, and she turned and kissed me. It was beautiful. She kissed me and asked if she could touch me properly. I said yes. Then she told me to take off my dress. She opened my legs and smelled me. She inhaled deeply and smiled. She told me I smelled good. I felt happy. She pulled my panties and licked me. She worked my body like it’s hers. She found my clit without me showing her and then she fingered me, it was awesome. The first time I would be fingered so good. All the men I’ve been with are always in a hurry while fingering and I sometimes have injuries. But she fingered me with precision. I came from her penetrating me, It had never happened before. I have never orgasmed from penetration before.

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I had four orgasms with her. I also came from nipple play, my nipples were so tingly after we were through. I was spent and I didn’t even go through stress. I screamed when she licked and sucked my clit. She looked me in the eye and smiled at me when I came down. She asked if I was good and I couldn’t even talk. She smiled and told me to sit in front of her, she whispered in my ear dirty talk and started touching my pussy,  I orgasmed again. I couldn’t understand how she knew my body so much. Gosh! lesbian sex is so sweet.

Busty black lesbians having sex


I couldn’t keep what happened to myself, I told my boyfriend and to my surprise, he wasn’t that shaken. I think he didn’t feel threatened because she is a girl. He asked me who was better and I lied saying he was but I knew the truth, I didn’t want him to feel insecure. Whenever we have sex he tries too hard and sometimes I just go through the motions, he leaves me so sore it hurts to even urinate. He complains about my lack of spontaneity but doesn’t know I only manage to have sex with him when I’m high. But when I am normal I find it hard cause I might not be invested and it’s painful for me when he penetrates. He gives me head but ends up using teeth sometimes. It’s frustrating.

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I can’t stop thinking of her, I wish I could have lesbian sex with her again and please her also as she did with me. Whenever she comes around and we get high together, she might play with my nipples or my ass when my boyfriend is not there. She would smell my panties and tell me I smell so good. But when he is there I try to act normal because he started to warn me about it. I sometimes hint at a threesome but he doesn’t want it. She once said she wants to watch us have sex and she would be in the background. I wanted it so bad but he refused. I wanted her to see me aroused. Maybe I would orgasm from her watching. I don’t want to have sex again with her behind his back but I feel like it’s inevitable.

lesbian sex threesome
Source- Cosmopolitan



She has refused to date me, she’s not into dating and even when I offered to be in a polyamorous affair with her, she refused.  She prefers no string sex and she is also unpredictable. There are days she doesn’t want me but some days she wants me. Sometimes she tells my boyfriend to hold me tight otherwise she will snatch me, other times she wouldn’t even talk to me at all. Her unstable emotions gets me confused and sad.  I don’t know why I find myself so attached to her, could it be because she broke my lesbian virginity?

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Since our encounter, my sexual attraction for ladies is now so high, I see girls, and all I want to do is fuck them and please them so bad, If she is pretty and intelligent, major turn on. I love ass, I am an ass girl, when I see a girl with fine ass, it’s hard to take my eyes off her. My sexual attraction for women has gotten so bad that my other female friend has noticed that I look at her differently, I had to open up to her. I made moves on her, she is tall, curvy, has a big ass with creamy and spotless skin. One time playfully, she asked me to come and suck her breast and I surprised her by saying I would if she let me. She was shocked and stopped talking. I know she knows I am not straight.

lesbian sex



I think I would date a girl if I had a chance as I have found myself liking more girls now. I still like men though especially tall dark and handsome, if he has a beard then turn on. But more strongly, I would like to learn how to please a girl the same way my boyfriend’s friend pleased me with sweet lesbian sex. I always imagine how it is to taste pussy. I wish I could please someone and let them feel the same way I felt with her.

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What can I do? I love men and women but my lesbian side is more. Just the thought of women makes me very horny but I feel trapped as a Christian and worst of a Nigerian where homosexuality is condemned. Sometimes I think to myself, maybe I am actually a lesbian but compensate with boys because of the society I’ve found myself in. Please, Mutterers, I need your candid advice, leave me a comment 😥👇.

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