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8 min read

This might be the most selfish story you’ve ever read, but my heart wants what it wants. Hear me out and put yourself in my shoes, after all, we live in a dog-eat-dog world, right?

About two months ago at my workplace as a content creator, I  met this awesome lady, Kemi. She is a young Nigerian lawyer who serves as our legal consultant and content vetter. Although we were both employed on the same day, I had resumed work immediately at our Ibadan office while she was freelancing from Lagos, not until 3 weeks later, she relocated to Ibadan to join us.  To be honest, despite my being somewhat reserved around girls, I didn’t really like Kemi’s looks at first sight: she’s considerably shorter than me (I prefer taller girls), she’s black in complexion (I prefer lighter-skinned girls), she’s slim (oh, I love ‘em curvy and hippy and booby), and she isn’t that pretty without makeup (I have got a soft spot for natural beauty). 

Read: Finding Your Spec and Its Flip Sides

types of butt shapes her man

The first day was just a bland chitchat cum introduction. We talked about our origins and where we live in  Ibadan. I told her how I got to live in Oyo State (through NYSC) and we shared our undergrad experiences and life after finishing school. We didn’t really talk that much that day because my attention was focused on the job on my table, which took me the whole day. Yelps, creative thinking, and writing can be so draining and time-consuming! 

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Surprisingly, despite her not meeting my “visual spec”, I found a pal and chatmate in Kemi. My talks with the guys revolved more around work, cause they’re my seniors, married, and were training me for the new job I had just started with the firm. So, Kemi brought in some spice to my boring work life. Her table used to be next to mine until she was moved to a separate office. We gossiped about stuff like law and politics, our colleagues and boss, life in Ibadan,  and one or two other personal stuff. Gradually, I’ve become attracted to her intelligence (you can call me  ‘sapiosexual’, ikr), her sense of humor and sweet voice (my weakness, ugh! She has great command of the English language too), and her somewhat large dull eyes (I somehow love girls with big eyes lol,  don’t  know why). She has a nice personality and is resourceful in providing info on some of the things I ask (on legal matters and other stuff).  

coworkers romance her man

When she was moved to a new office, I was happy she’d gotten her own space, but was sad she was leaving my side. Absence they say makes the heart grow fonder, and this became my portion. Seeing her means I have to go over to her new office. This comes with the perks of being able to flirt and joke in her new space freely without the other colleagues connecting any obvious dots even though they can smell the fish as I more often spend many minutes inside her office before returning to my table (she vets most of my writings and I spoil her with fruit salads and movies which I download using our limited office Wi-Fi. Lol, crook like me!). 

TO MAKE A MOVE OR MOVE ON?

The obvious truth is that feelings are beginning to creep in from my side (don’t know about her). I am not sure if I should make a move for her. I like to take things slow and steady, especially matters of the heart. Even though I’m more logical than emotional, I still catch feelings, dammit! Jokingly we address each other as “my office boyfriend” and “my office girlfriend” because the friendship bond between us is growing stronger. When I enquired about her relationship life, she told me she was no longer in the dating market (whatever that means), that she has a guy she’s serious with, and that she cannot even consider marrying an Igbo man (I’m Igbo) because of potential troubles from her Yoruba family. And that was the only straw that broke the camel’s back lol. I hadn’t even started to make my move and I had already got the inkling that it wasn’t gonna work. I was emotionally paralyzed. I wanted more than just office companionship from Kemi. 

last straw quote her man

MY INTENTIONS

Actually, personally, I don’t think I’m yet ready for a committed relationship. I know I’m a proudly independent and a commitment-phobe (I’m kinda haunted by my parents’ dry and once turbulent marriage that I feel I’ll be a relationship tyrant like my dad.) which is probably why I’m still single  at 27 with no committed relationship with a girl. It’s kinda frustrating, coupled with my stutter-induced introversion and brokeness lol (relationship and love for Naija na money o. No girl wants to date you if you’re not reasonably comfortable in life and if you ain’t gonna spend reasonably on her). 

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Also, It’s difficult to find an irreligious Nigerian girl for a serious relationship, though. Aaargh!!! This is the pain that we Nigerian atheists and agnostics experience when you don’t wanna have to compromise your convictions by dating religious women. 

black romantic couple her man

All I want from Kemi Is just an emotional closeness outside work (movie dates, walks in the park,  restaurant outings, house visits, etc.) which of course will lead to a kiss and possibly I get to see her underpants and have her screaming my name when I smash her red potty with our bodies slick with sweat and desire. Hey, don’t judge me, please! In essence,  friends with benefits is all I want from her, without commitment. While I have been thinking of how my friendship with Kemi would advance her to my bed, my nemesis caught up with me:  emotional attachment. I’m starting to get possessive and jealous about her relationship with her boyfriend. 

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She always does video chats every blessed day with him in her office, and she seems to be happy with him. He earns more than I do in his working place, has a car he can borrow at will (I know a  little about him because one of my ‘village people’ is his colleague). He’s also religious like Kemi while I’m an agnostic former church boy. Kemi once told me her boyfriend is often boring and I guess she enjoys my company as much as I do hers. But she finds it appalling that a young Nigerian man like me doesn’t give much thought to African spirituality and organized religion as a whole. Kemi seems turned off by my irreligion and has asked me out to church for company. I’m hesitant about accompanying a girl to church. It doesn’t end well for me cause I don’t get to date or bang her afterward. I’m not a fuckboy per se, but I don’t wanna be a religious woman’s wrapper or head tie either. 

theist vs atheist her man

I WANT TO BE HER FIRST CHOICE!

I don’t like to be the second choice,  just like everyone else. Thing is, as it stands now, I don’t even know what I want to do. I like Kemi and I keep fantasizing about her perky boobs and how they’ll feel on my tongue. No relationship strings! The emotions I feel for her can be enough, for now, maybe it will metamorphose into something beautiful but until then, I want sex and play buddy in Kemi. I’ve hinted to her about something more between us but she doesn’t seem interested or is waiting for me to shoot my shot, or just playing me?  

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There was a day she wiggled her bum for me in her office while dancing to some music, and I got confused if she was sending any signal or just messing with my head (Lol, that day I was so tempted to go over and grind her ass but I restrained myself). I’m so hooked on her friendship and nice persona. I mean, you’d say I’m trapped in the fucking dreary friendzone! Aaargh!!! Not again! Dunno how to explain how I got here with Kemi! 

friendship zone her man
Source- Chicago Tribune

I’m aware she has a man but I want her so badly, not as a second choice. Common, I know I should be faithful to the bro code but mehn! It’s a dog-eat-dog world, right? Nigga’s are not smiling and I can bet that if the script was flipped and Kemi happens to be my woman, there’ll be some other guy who wouldn’t consider how I feel when he starts to chase her. Damn her man! I want her! Right now, it’s a ‘let the best man win’ situation for me.  Yes her man has more money than I do, what if he doesn’t know how to fuck her right or give her the tender love and care like I can? If she truly loves him, why will she wiggle her butt in front of me? That’s so calling and I figure there’s more she’s not saying. Also, why does it seem like she enjoys my company too much as she’s always giggling at my jokes lol? Who knows she might like me back yeah? 

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Do you think I have a chance of getting any ‘benefits’ from our friendship if I continue to be in her face? Will it be too direct or creepy to request for such a benefit or does it happen naturally? Even though she’s not my spec, I cannot stop drooling over how it feels to have her in my bed. Niggas please help me!! when a lady has a man, should it be an automatic backoff or should I still shoot my shot? How do I get Kemi to be mine forever (maybe). Ladies! I know how funny your gender is, but from your knowledge, do you think Kemi wants me badly too but is only pretending? Please advise a brother, Leave your comments below 😪👇👇.

 

 

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8 min read

What makes good sex? One party on the receiving end or both parties riding each other dirty like it’s the last sex of their lifetime? For me, it’s the latter, I enjoy reciprocity when I’m having sex with a woman. Teach me how to touch you to orgasm while I teach you the trick to make me cum. This way, we’re both happy huh? But not a lot of ladies know how to please a man in bed. All most ladies know how to do is stick to an irritating missionary like an ugly log of wood, sex game is whack! and they’re not willing to learn but expect that a man does all the work. Hell No! Madam landlady stand up and come and be going; sex wasn’t so great. You dey vex me!

For a while now I’ve been out of the game. Lol, yea! That game (sex).  I’ve got friends that can’t live without the chase; they never get tired but for me, chasing is mostly whenever I really want some different kind of sex or a new adventure, but mehn it’s never about relationship! 

sex game is whack

You see, part of what gets me tired about chasing new girls is that the sex is almost never great.  Yea, 8 out of 10.  What’s the point of going through all that stress if the sex is still going to be bad anyway? You see, whenever I’m lucky enough to meet a girl that’s good in bed, I don’t only stick around but it encourages me to flirt even more with different girls, hoping to get more & more sex because mehn! I’ll give anything for a good sex streak. 

 

WHY WON’T SHE KISS ME, FEEL ME, OR…

So I met this girl (let’s call her Zoe), we flirted for a bit, and we exchanged numbers & the next week we’re in bed. All things seem to fall into place as I’m able to finally slip my hands into her boobs.  I mean, Zoe gives the usual inviting ‘stop’… you know the girl’s thing but her words start to fade as I slowly bite her neck.  I love me a sensitive girl but Zoe’s sensitivity is on a different level. 

sex game is whack
Source- Health Magazine

My breath close to her ears gives her chills as I can see her feet vibrate as I suckle her ear lobs, my hand still on her boobs.  Neck kisses, boobs, ears & it goes on & on for about 1hr30mins.  I can tell she’s having the foreplay of her life. But something’s off! Why won’t she kiss me, feel me or try to please me too? I like nice things too you know…

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Well, I know she sure had fun but don’t know how to rate this day for myself; surely it was an inevitable test of patience . She was ON so we didn’t have sex. Man’s left with blue balls but thank god for my right hand, I must please myself if I must survive the night abi wetin man go do?

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I’m counting the calendar days & you can’t tell me 10days is not enough.   Of course, I’ve been caring all the days between – “How was work?” “Please take some rest”, “I can’t get you off my mind”. I mean, I hate texting but you really need to show that you care…

AND A HORRIBLE SEX FOLLOWED…

So it’s 10days after & we link up at my place.  You can tell we’ve both been waiting for the moment.  She hasn’t even stayed long & she wants to be going.  Go where? Or are you lost baby girl? I put the work on her neck – now I can see the hickey so I strip down! Are you shy? Okay, I’ll turn off the light.

sex game is whack
Source- Rolling Stone

I like to show off the big man (my dick), he’s 7.6 inches must be regarded as a separate entity.  I call him KING and expect he be treated as such.  Jokes apart every girl should know how to fondle a man’s dick. Forget foreplay, now we are having the sex of our lives or so I think; listening to how her breathe fade, I can barely see her eyes.  As it lasts longer she obviously enjoys it more & me less.  Wetin dey happen sef? Zoe still doesn’t agree to kiss me or remove her shirt or bra completely. She removes just her shorts & pants & deep down I’m really starting to vex. 

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Zoe is tall, clean, pretty & light-skinned.  A perfect spec but why’d she be trying to pretend like she’s not into the sex?  Now I’m certain it’s her ego.  In my mind, I’m like “lol, I wish I could record you just so you see how your facial expressions gave you away”.

sex game is whack

Sex’s still on! down to the second round & notice me doing all the work.  Zoe’s still laying flat on the bed, eyes shut, legs open, lips smirking – I whisper to her “can you ride my dick?” No response as we start to tip over the bed. “Zoe we falling… can you adjust a bit?” Now it’s clear Zoe can’t do a thing unaided.  I lift her back into the bed as we continue sex in the pretzel dip position.  

Binge Read!! My First Sex Experience Series

Let’s doggy & as usual, I literally have to turn her and set her hands myself. mehn! the girl is so lazy. Five seconds in & Zoe can no longer hold a doggy as she sinks back into the bed. We slowly transition into a flatiron position. You see if you want to maximize your thrust in this position simply slip a pillow between her belly and the bed; in my case, I slip two pillows and can hear her moan change. Zoe is now seeing stars. I give you all this and can’t imagine I’m still begging for a ride.  Baby come be my cowgirl. 

sex game is whack

MISSING TEMI

For a second I shut my eyes & all I see is Temi.  11 months down the line & I swear I still see her in my dreams.  Damn, I’ve never had sex that great!   Temi gave me the ride of my life.  I could imagine the best moment of our sex.  You see the best moment of cowgirl is when she slightly tilts backward as your dick bends slightly and the uppermost part of her vagina concentrates on the cap region of your dick.  Mehn how do I describe the feeling? Feels as though something tight wraps on your dick & slowly pull out your semen.  Mehn this is how to treat a 7.6 inches KING.  You do this and you’ll hear any guy moan. This was the cloud 9 treat Temi gave me, I almost sold her my last name cause O boy!! It was that great. 

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As I open my eyes it’s a different reality, Zoe’s in the same position & now I feel like a robot.  At this moment I was utterly displeased with the sex, slowly my dick goes flaccid & I’m shooting pool with a rope. I give up! no ejaculation but who cares? The sex is no longer pleasing. 

sex game is whack

GIRLS STOP THIS!!

How can I be doing all the work? Sometimes I feel girls exaggerate how pleasing sex is.  It’s really not as pleasing to guys if girls don’t put in the work; in many cases, we just keep up to cum.  In my case, I completely lose it as I lay down on my side of the bed.

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Forget porn, sometimes I wonder if people learn from movies.  Do you see the expressions in the series ‘Dark Desire’? When Alma rides Dario or her husband Leonardo? Or would you rather talk about Laura & Massimo in 365 days? Yea I know these are just drama but drama depicts life.  Real-life sex should be as passionate & expressive but definitely not for Zoe.  She would rather lay in bed and contribute nothing to the sex. 

sex game is whack
Source- The Irish Times

It pains me so much that I couldn’t communicate her lack of sexual prowess to her. I imagine her reminiscing it as probably the best sex of her life when in actual sense, she’s a fraud. Gave nothing, to enjoy so much. 

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Guys!!! I think it’s high time we started voicing out to these ladies how wack they are in bed. Most ladies are quick to call out a man for lasting 4 minutes in bed or having a small dick but see nothing wrong in their deficiency in bed. It’s unfair. Why do ladies feel bringing their bodies is enough for sex? Common madam! Up your skill or come and be going! You suck in bed!

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Now to my question, firstly to the men, sincerely, how do you feel when a lady contributes nothing in scrubbing the carrot but lays like a log of wood? Do you tell her her sex game is whack or let it slide? If you’ve communicated an observed lack of skill to a lady before, I’ll like to know her reaction. To the ladies, why is it that most of you all hate to explore and be versatile in bed? Is it shyness or really lack of skill? You all be acting like “ehn after all he’s sucking boobs, he should be okay”... Well, he’s not!  I’ll appreciate your opinions in the comment section below 👇👇

 

 

 

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7 min read

A man cannot be a hundred percent satisfied! Satisfaction is a mirage, a man who appears to have attained it only deliberately decided to stay blind to his other needs that pinch. Satisfaction comes with self-control, the duo is difficult to merit. Why we excel in some areas, we are deficient in others. For me, the burden slaps hard with the institution, Marriage! As a man, I’m aghast at the perpetual welcome of Monogamy. Why? Why should a man be bound by one woman?

After a few years of being attracted to different women for different reasons, I have found that I am unmarried because I am looking for those different traits (characteristics) in a single woman. Crazy, I know.

monogamy is useless

Imagine a world where I am allowed to have more than one partner, where I could marry women in different sizes to satisfy specific fetishes. Who else will I enjoy a double action kind of sex with if not my chubby lady with a big breast? I imagine sliding my dick in-between her breasts and then grazing her lips with the crown as she sends shivers down my spine with her tongue. Another of my favorite fetishes for thick women is having to sit on the toilet as she turns her back towards me, twerking while my dick slides in and out. 

What about my slim and tall lady? I have this fetish to pin her against the wall while I leap up from behind, trying to align my dick with her pussy, just like a dog. For some reason, I guess this particular fetish is why they say all men are dogs lol. But I don’t mind!

Read: Lets Play A Game… Fetish or Obsessions or Both?

Imagine having either of these fetishes at my beck and call, I will probably come close to being a truly happy man, and will not live with the guilt of cheating on my one wife who does her best, but can’t just keep up with my numerous bed experiments. And in cases where I’m too busy to attend to the numerous needs of my wives, and often too tired from many business and social engagements. I’ll love that my wives can entertain men in the guest apartment to meet many of their cravings, and do to them, the things they’ve only dreamt of. Imagine a world where a wife is not bound from having a gist partner, a play partner, and a satisfying partner, and yet remain loyal in every other wifely duty to hubby. Raise this issue and folks will whip up diseases, but there were still diseases in the days of our great grandfathers, right?

monogamy is useless

MONOGAMY IS A CAGE

Truth is, modern religion came with an ideology, wrapped it up in morality, and served it to us as the way of life. One might even argue that the concept of monogamy is a mischievous scheme to curtail Africa’s speedy childbearing and growth by the Western world.

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Check this out; a child knows there is milk on the shelf, and he wants to drink milk but cannot do it because it might be a crime. So he lives with that desire burning in his heart, till he eventually gives up in frustration. Compare this to a child who knows there is milk on the shelf and he isn’t restricted from drinking it, so he moves about freely with that consciousness. Which one is a more happy child? And if happiness is key to social and mental development, which one develops more into a bold, strong, and successful man?

monogamy is useless
Source- Wiki How

Man is by nature free-spirited (Polygamous), if he’s not doing something, it means he doesn’t want to. Monogamy restricts a rather polygamous human, and cuts of the mind from being all it can be, this is why many of the people who seem to have blown out of proportion have not allowed themselves to be limited by most social constructs put in place by fearful ancestors to checkmate human growth.

A CLEARER ANALYSIS

Growing up, I used to steal meat from the stew pot, not the soup pot because my mum was fond of draw soup. And you know what they say, taking meat from a draw soup takes a special skill set, and I didn’t possess it at the time, so I settled for the stew.

monogamy is useless
Source- Dream Africa

A time came that I became in charge of the kitchen because I learned to make food almost as Mama did, and I discovered that I naturally stopped stealing meat from the stew pot, soup pot, Jollof, or the reserved fried ones. Thinking back now, I realize that I couldn’t steal that to which I have the key.

What does this have to do with monogamy?

Every woman I have met, I am in love with. The wild ones, the calm ones, the loud ones, and the soft-spoken. I met a girl who is chubby and what draws me to her is her belly. I love how it jiggled when she laughed, and I just loved to make her laugh. Huge girls laugh from deep within, it is often devoid of pretense. Unlike a popular body type to whom you crack a joke and they go “hehe”. I love a chubby girl when I am selfish because she is more than enough to go around. I love to be wrapped up in her embrace and get lost in her. And yeah, has a huge girl ever defended you in public? Nothing sexier than when she is vexing on your behalf. 

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monogamy is useless
Source- Pintrest

But I still want to lift my woman, swing her about and have her literally look up to me with those sweet adorable eyes, and even stand on her toes to kiss me. And this is exactly why I like her petite too and full of energy. Ever been in a pillow fight with a “small” lady? You could bury her in about 6 pillows, throw her up and catch her without paying for gym classes. There’s even stronger bonding that comes from her inability to reach the upper cabinets in the kitchen, I’d just place my both palms on her waist and lift her and wait for that smile and a kiss.

monogamy is useless
Source- Media Push

There is a woman for optics. She is tall, slender, with a thick thigh and proportionately thick behind. I am not very tall, but I still imagine her on stilettos with her elbow placed on my shoulder while I lean on her like the support for the tilting tower. This is the woman I want to “look up to”. Her intimidating height, huge presence, and often stern look through occasionally worn dark shades will make folks ask “who is this domineering woman he is with?” And I’d smile sheepishly because they don’t know that it is not so when we are completely alone and unclad.

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monogamy is useless
Source- Sporty Tell

MONOGAMY IS USELESS! SCRAP IT!

Some say a man is inherently good, others say inherently bad, but what if a man is inherently immensely capable of the expression of his desires in numerous ways to numerous objects of his affections without failing in his duties to the one or all?

A man is married to a breathtakingly beautiful woman but still goes to another whom men consider as ugly to lay by her bedside. Why is that?

monogamy is useless

A man walks hand in hand, fingers entwined, with his lover on the beach, enjoying the sunset, when suddenly a different girl walks by and he forgets about his lover whom to many is a 10, and gawks at another lady who is completely oblivious of his existence. Why is that?

Many faithful men still visit strip clubs, get lap dances, and wank off to sultry images of other women who aren’t even built like their wives. Why is that? These men live in a world where they can afford a whole kitchen but they are not allowed to, so they steal a glance and sometimes take extra meat or two from the pot. And those who take meat from the draw soup leave a trail behind them, and when they are caught, they are called cheats.

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Imagine a world where he is handed the key to the kitchen and even allowed to provide and watch guard over the meat? Wouldn’t he be more dedicated and happy?

monogamy is useless
Source- GQ Aaustralia

Everyone wants to be free, I particularly love to be free. Why should I adhere to a social construct (Monogamy) that binds me to one woman for the rest of my life, when inherently I desire so much more? Monogamy should either be scrapped or made optional not just for a specific religion but for every person, it’ll go a long way to saving marriages and relationships.

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Here’s another lamentation from a muttering mind, yearning to know what your mind mutters too. I’ll love to know your sincere opinion on monogamy. Are you convinced it’s the ‘IT’ or fallen prey to its bandwagon ideology propagated by society? Will you say that monogamy has done more harm to society or good? Let’s discuss further in the comment section Mutterers 😊👇👇.

 

 

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6 min read

Some names have attained universal recognition and status, names like Coca-Cola, Michael Jackson, Jesus Christ, and Mortal Kombat (yes, I said it!!). This versus game has been a big hit and brand for years, It’s a one size fits all game as one doesn’t even have to be a staunch gamer to really get involved and fall in love completely. Also, the franchise has in time past released subsequent movies that had an impact on kids and youths of the era, movies that have had many adaptations through the years. 

With much built-up anticipation in 2021, fans anxiously waiting for the current version of the Mortal Kombat mythos. Now the deal is here! Did it miss the mark or outshined the expectation of fans? 

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Mortal Kombat (2021) Review: Four Grave Lessons to help you Navigate Life

Directed by Simon McQuoid, and produced by James Wan, Todd Garner, Simon McQuoid, and Lawrence Kasanoff, the movie starts off showcasing the beauty of Japan in a contagious tranquil visual. One could smell the culture of Japan even without experiencing it first hand and yeah as a fan, knowing what I subscribed for, it was only a matter of time before the action began.

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No matter what your thoughts or feelings towards the Mortal Kombat 2021 released movie (to those who’ve seen it already), I would like to make clear that this review aims to take a human angle in interpreting Greg Russo’s and Dave Callaham’s screenplay. Yeah yeah, I’ve read pungent remarks on the internet that the movie didn’t cut it for fans, as a fan I wasn’t entirely pleased too but how about we flip the script in analyzing it from a much more human perspective. How much of YOU or real-life situation is mirrored in the scenes or any of the character’s storyline?

Cold War:

Any fan of the Mortal Kombat franchise is surely familiar with the cold war between Scorpion and Subzero. However, this 2021 release takes a shift off the major protagonists we know and love (Liu Kang, Johnny Cage, Sonya Blade, Kitana), to focus on this rivalry.  Now let’s analyze this cold war strategy; there is a saying “the best defense is a good offense.” It may seem underhanded, but if you want something bad enough, you don’t have to tell anyone. The speed and lack of hesitation in your choices and actions will speak volume. Subzero perfectly embodies this through his cold-blooded nature (all puns intended). The ice-cold assassin strikes hard and fast, contrary to the heroes Jax and Cole Young who are stumbling their way through.

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If you were in a position to hire labor, which would you pick, people who are trying to figure things out or people that know what is at stake and wasted no time in executing tasks? Hence the reason 2-3 years of work experience is usually the core for employment. The first meeting between Raiden’s earth realm defenders and Shang Tsung’s Outworld team shows how world’s apart the both are in preparedness and conviction.

Mortal Kombat (2021) Review: Four Grave Lessons to help you Navigate Life

The Wait:

Patience they say is the gift of the gods; this is best embodied in Sonya Blade’s character. Eager to prove herself to everyone, especially herself, she does not relent or leave when she is told she lacks the mark, and having no Arcana makes her a liability. She patiently waits till a slot opens up, which she gleefully takes. She doesn’t let pride blind her when she is sidelined even though all evidence points to her as the most capable in the teach. In relating to life, most of us tend allow our talents to cloud our reasoning. Yeah sometimes it’ll be too evident that you’re even more talented than your master/boss or people on your team, however, the best approach is not to behave rashly or proud, but remain humble while working for them.

Mortal Kombat (2021) Review: Four Grave Lessons to help you Navigate Life

Learn To Question The Humor:

There’s a saying, “fear funny people”,  they will have you more focused at laughing at their jokes and oblivious to  their hidden intent. There’s something about being funny that makes people excuse you for some nasty or bad traits, but it’s all fun and games until the scales fall off. Kano is a sterling example; in all honesty, he is a toxic and arrogant individual, full of himself but he is one of the people most loved when he appears on the screen. Throughout the movie he overestimates his abilities due to his bloated ego and idea of himself. He is fearless which if analyzed well could be actual stupidity as a complete lack of fear does not let you exercise caution at adequate points when needed, especially as one who overestimates his skillset. Despite schoolings from Sonya and Liu Kang, Kano still sees himself as the baddest man alive and when he strike his evils, it wasn’t funny.

Mortal Kombat (2021) Review: Four Grave Lessons to help you Navigate Life
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Idle God Syndrome: 

Despite the presence of a god, Lord Raiden, on the earth realm’s side, the characters still fight for their fate. This lesson is prevalent to this day, man is the controller of his fate. Waiting for a divine helper will most times have you waiting while life happens all around you. Earth realm defenders were told to test their might to unlock their arcana during training with Liu Kang and Kung Lao. The same goes for life, to unlock any expertise or knowledge/skill you need to stretch yourself from constant practice and exercise, work hard to show yourself approved rather than wait for magical manna from heaven. Man is designed to push his limits and boundaries, yes pain is usually involved but it turns out worse when we do not challenge ourselves. We end up never having confidence and trusting ourselves when the situation counts for it. Cole, a descendant of Scorpion goes through this process, running away from who he needed to be until he had no choice but to either accept it or be a victim of fate.

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Mortal Kombat (2021) Review: Four Grave Lessons to help you Navigate Life

The 2021 edition of Mortal Kombat in analyzing the scenes and characters from a didactic life angle makes the movie worth the watch. But If you’re bent on spotting the glitches and big errors, it’s most likely going to leave a sour taste in your mouth.

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If you’ve watched the movie, I’ll like to ask what lessons you learned from it. And if you haven’t, which of these lessons resonates with you? Also, you’ll agree I tried hard not to give any spoilers but lol. Let’s talk in the comment section😅👇. 

 

 

 

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7 min read

You see butterflies in my belly, I love them. I love the mystery of what beautiful surprises love brings and when the love turns sour, I find myself still holding on to ‘what’ should have become. I’m holding tight to a lump of hot coal, despite being presented with a choice of ice.  When is it too late to say I quit? 

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I am a hopeless romantic and also a strong believer in love’s power to conquer all, which is why I have been in “the longest unmarried relationship” known to man. I met B in high school, I was that brute of a prefect while she was the beauty and brains. I had never really taken notice of her in any way except as a classmate, not until the day she cried because of me. Her friends ganged up and made sure I went to the library where she cried and consoled her. At that moment, I did more than consoling, I made promises that no one would ever make her cry again as long as I was around.

rejected my proposal
Source- Unsplash

B and I became close and as time went by, our closeness blossomed to something of the nature of a boyfriend and a girlfriend. She was my first kiss, my first tight hug, and my first dry hump. She made me want to write poetry. She didn’t care for them, but I wrote anyway. As we graduated high school, she allowed me to call her “girlfriend” but only to her hearing. No one else must know and I didn’t care. I was elated I now had a girlfriend, my first ever.

When Life Takes the Childhood Innocence Away…

You know as we age, we start to see more challenging sides to life, and our childhood innocence gradually fades. We suddenly want to be more and the most unfair side in all is that what might be more to you, might be as insignificant as a grain of salt to another. I’ve been writing since childhood and the zeal accompanied me to adulthood, I wanted badly to now be a professional writer.

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rejected my proposal
Source- Medium

However, B saw this as unambitious whenever I let her in on my fantasy about a cottage on a hill where I’d live and write on paper, and only step out to civilization when I am out of ink or my belly aches for food. She told me if I cared for a future with her I would pursue a more professional course. She told me how she’d want to marry a doctor, but since I have flair for the arts, I should consider becoming a lawyer and without much thought but thinking on the leverage of how much I’ll give to be with her forever, I immediately fell in love with the idea. 

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I did my poetic writing on the low, while I wrote jamb for a law degree. But Jamb had a very funny way of giving me below 200 on my scores. B told me I lacked concentrations, and I agree. I didn’t want to be a lawyer but still told myself I could do it so that I could finally win her heart. So I quit writing, left my dream of writing for the screens, and tried Jamb for two years subsequently.

rejected my proposal
Source- ABA law student division

I would always imagine the titles “Barrister and Dr Mrs” and it made me smile deeply. Power couple. Though she didn’t get to be a doctor, she became the next best thing, a Pharmacist. As you might have guessed I didn’t become a lawyer, I did even better, I gave up one creative thing for another. I became a  Carpenter. 

The Longer You Date, The more Breakups In Between

Folks who have been in a very long relationship can relate to the fact that in between these long years, there are usually break-up and makeup phases. B and I for one silly reason or the other usually took a lengthy break from each other. 

Amid our breakups, I dated a few girls and she dated a few boys, even kissed some that I knew of. She stayed a virgin, a promise to herself. I lost mine over and over again. On one of such makeups she found that I wasn’t a writer no more but now a woodworker (carpenter). She was disappointed! She didn’t take it well, and when she is mad you’d know. It takes me weeks to heal from her spoken vexations. They are usually venomous but she often means well. However, she told me I could still make it as a lawyer, I was selfish enough to promise I’d become what she wanted. While waiting to become what she wanted, she’ll always get angry whenever I addressed myself as a carpenter and often told me to address myself as an “interior designer” for status sake. But I never listened so it made us drift often.

A Merry-Go-Round Proposal

After 7 years of on and offs, with her pushing me to “better” myself career-wise, I proposed the first time, she said I wasn’t ready. Of course, I wasn’t, I still lived at my mum’s. I proposed the second time, she said despite having an apartment and a few contracts now, that it wasn’t enough, adding that I needed serious job security. She offered to pay for my tuition to study a more serious course that could earn me more money. I declined because I am too proud to accept that in my financial state and then what if I don’t give her the life she wanted.

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So we broke up and made up, yet again. Finally, I agreed, I would quit this thing that I love (carpentry), and leave the country with her and be just what she wants. Half of me wanted this because most of me wanted her, she encouraged me and told me it was for the best.

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 Yet again I proposed this time with a bigger stone. I made sure my right knee did the needful, while I balanced myself on my left knee too. She cried, held my face as I looked at her smile washed down by her tears. And her words were filled with deep emotions as she spoke to me. “I have waited for so long for you to do this right, but I am sorry, others already did it right”.

rejected my proposal

I was so hurt, I got up not knowing how to feel, and as I was about leaving she held me and said “Please don’t go. I am not saying yes neither am I saying no. I am so confused right now, please give me time to pray. Please I beg you, I need just three months to pray”. My feelings defeated, I agreed and left her.

An Overdue Prayer Session and a Precious to Behold

Three months turned to four months, four months turned to lock down, everybody became busy trying to stay alive. A year and two months after my B began to pray, and one day off the blues she chatted me up and said “God said it’s you!”

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I was so excited that I forgot I was broke, how was I to even begin to cater for a wedding? Stupid right? I love B so much and even more despite the long cold wait. I told her I wasn’t financially ready for a wedding and she was angry but gave me time to put my shit in order. Finally, I gathered and ordered the marriage list, but before I could go pick it, came Precious.

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Precious is young, beautiful, intelligent, soft-spoken, and admires me. More importantly, she is so in love with my carpentry and asks me not to change for anyone. In a month of knowing her, she has looked up ways that I can become a better carpenter and it is paying off. She asked me herself if I would marry her, and in something that feels like double jeopardy, I said YES YES YES!

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She wakes me up with prayer messages to remind me that I am more than enough and what exactly she prayed for. I know it’s short timing, but within it, I have felt a kind of love I have never felt before. Love devoid of begging but cherishing. Someone who loves me for me and not the idea of what more I can become. It’s opened my eyes to how much pain I endured with B and I don’t think I want to go feel such pain again.

rejected my proposal

Bear in mind that B rejected my proposal three times, now she’s crying her heart out, saying I am ruining us, especially now that she has told folks that she is gonna be my wife. While Precious tells me that I am the best thing since jollof rice and treats me in ways I have always begged for but never received. I am torn between my promises of a happy ever after to B and a hunger for what Precious feeds me every day.

I finally opened up to B about Precious and she’s been pleading for another chance to make things right. Dear Mutterers, I am so confused. I need your candid advice on what to do. Please leave me your honest comments 👇👇

 

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7 min read

“Is it a sin? Shouldn’t it be just masturbation?” I ask myself these questions every time I feel that sensation inside my vagina. An urge so tingling, I twitch my legs and if I’m seated, I move my buttocks quite mildly but intensely felt in my clit.  I want to touch myself so badly, and the urge only gets higher, making me a slave to it, a slave who wants more.  I look around to see if the coast is clear, without much looking, I find myself in the toilet, trying so hard to quieten my moan whilst I take my fingers in and out of my vagina streets. “Ahhh mmmm ah”, I moan, and pant slowly, suddenly there’s a wet rush streaming out of my vagina. Oooooh, what a mad ass satisfaction. I put my panties on and head to bed, but guess who wakes up? My conscience! How can one be so satisfied yet feeling enormous guilt? Who crowned masturbation a sin?

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If anyone ever told me that I, a Christian girl brought up with gory tales of hellish fire and brimstone when I do as little as stealing a piece of meat from my mama’s pot, would be confessing to masturbation, I would have differed. Not because the fact about me is a lie but because it’s a part of me I intend to continue enjoying in secrecy than tell anyone about it. No one who masturbates openly declares it and even when caught, it becomes the most revered embarrassing moment of our life.

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For Women, Masturbation is a Sin.
Source- Medium

 

My First Sensual Realization

But can you blame this church girl who was raised to believe that spending too much time washing her vagina was a sin worthy of purgatory? My first realization of my sensuality was when I was about 9 and my mother would beat me for dry-humping a pillow. I, an innocent girl who didn’t even know what dry-humping was, received lots of cane, slap, and pepper-in-the-vagina threats many times than I can count from my African mother who believed anything abnormal was spiritual. At that age, I felt the urges, it was a sweet feeling without a name, I had no sex education, and the only way I could appease what I felt was by sliding my vagina on a pillow.

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If you were raised by such a mother you’d likely understand what my experience was like. Need I mention the exorcism events, aka, deliverance sessions when I was forcefully taken to the pastors to get the demon out of me? I loved my mother and she was the most amazing and sacrificial mother when it came to my wellbeing. She was doing motherhood the best way she knew how to but she was blinded to the changes that were occurring during her time. The same way we pretend that child molestation doesn’t happen within our homes or that 1 out of 4 children gets exposed to sex and sexual experiences right from the age of 6. Well, I’m one of such children who can’t tell exactly when I started getting stimulated sexually.

child abuse and masturbation

But as a clueless child, teenager and sister, I saw the confusing images on TV of women on women, men on men, men on women, and other horrifying things that first made my heart pound. After the heart-pounding, my brain gets stimulated so much that I had to practice the overwhelming images in my head. My parents paid no attention however and likewise were ignorant of the erotic magazines my brothers hid between their clothes and the porn they watched with zero volume when everyone was asleep. Well I always pretended to be asleep but made sure to position my head rightly so I could watch too.

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To backtrack a bit, I remember the first time I saw the erotic CDs in the house, my brother had brought them home. I was still a little girl, and on the first scene of bumping into him watching these, I developed a huge shock. The images were so terrifying, I promised to throw the CD’s away without his knowledge. Eventually, I threw them and was severely beaten by him. As time went on, I always bumped into my brother masturbating, I’ll feel irritated but he always wore no remorse. These acts damaged me psychologically, and worse off, I became an addict too.

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I can say I lost my virginity to a pencil or any other object I was using to reach pleasure. I fumbled through teenagehood with frustrated unsatisfactory masturbation and mastered the skill when I neared adulthood.

child masturbation and abuse
Source- Community Care

 

Grown Older…Still Masturbating

My feelings of heavy guilt, shame, a better understanding of the side effects of excessive masturbation, and personal beliefs helped me slow down as I grew older but it’s hard to stop something that grew up with you. It’s like trying to shed your skin. 

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I’ve come to accept some things about myself: that I was awakened early and it’s not my fault. I can’t enjoy sex outside marriage (I’ve tried it, didn’t work), I get horny like every other woman during her ovulation and as an active sexual being, I need to take the edge by touching myself and fingering my vagina. That’s how I get really satisfied, you might conclude I’m addicted to masturbating but I have stopped beating myself up about something I cannot miraculously change. 

Solo Female Masturbation
Source- Motion Porn

 

Masturbation Has Its Perks

The word ‘masturbate’ has been painted so dirty and I think that we should cut loose some slack. There’s a fine side to every bad behavior, masturbation inclusive. It saves me from piling body counts, why have premarital sex when I can easily satisfy myself sexually with my finger or pencil. Ps. I do not advise putting a pencil in your vagina cause that shit is painful as hell. Might not be able to count how many times I’ve masturbated but I can count how much I’ve had sex. In a society where trying to abstain is an up the hill task, masturbation should not be condemned.

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I see a guy I want in my bed, I lose my senses talking to him, and I know myself, if he as much gets in an enclosed space with me, I’ll take his pants off. But guess what brings me to order? Masturbation! The moment I flick the bean, it’s like a scale falls off my eyes, there’s no way in heaven I’ll be wanting him in my bed again. Recently I heard of a close friend who attempted rape, I felt too sorry for him and I thought “if only he had just wanked, I’m sure he would have been able to control himself”.

male masturbation
Source- Medium

Not advising anyone out there to masturbate, no. If you aren’t sexually active, awesome for you! If you masturbate, I don’t think you should beat yourself up too much. Like I said earlier, trying to retrace my steps in adulthood feels like shedding my skin, so I’ll just embrace the perks. I argued with myself on what to tell and what to keep unsaid here but I decided I’ll be as open as possible, especially since there are so many other ‘ladies’ out there like me who can’t share their truth. Emphasis on ‘ladies’ because compared to men, we are more ashamed to say we masturbate. 

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So on a scale of 0-10 how much guilt do you feel when you masturbate? Notice there was no prior question like “Do you masturbate”, cause I know how uncomfortable that question is and I bet that your answer will be a hesitant “No or Yes”. If anything, sharing this part of me on Muttering Minds I believe is a step to make me feel less guilty, and I hope that you are free in telling me about your masturbation experience too. 

masturbation

Are you addicted to masturbation? What were your early experiences like and how is it now? Are you convinced it’s a sin? Also if you broke free from the addiction, I’ll appreciate it if you can let me in on how you succeeded. To the readers who don’t masturbate, I’ll also love to hear your unique opinion about it. Please indulge me,  by leaving your sincere comments and thoughts, by the way, it’s my first time sharing my story on Muttering Minds lol.👇👇

 

 

 

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7 min read

Things are never as they seem especially when you’re not walking in the exact shoes. I wouldn’t want to conclude that we lie through our teeth when we make some affirmations about ourselves, all I’ll say is that exuberance gets the better part of us when we do. Until push comes to shove, we will never know who we really are,  until then, we keep qualifying ourselves with words that sound good, portray us in a fine light, and most apt of all, massage our ego.

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“After my graduation, I am going to marry a beautiful damsel, I’m going to treat her like a queen; I will never cheat on her or lay my hands on her. I am going to so pamper her to a point where people will think she uses voodoo to control me, but I won’t care.” These were the aesthetic words my elder brother used in describing his envisaged marriage to his best friend during a conversation in 1993, I was fortunate to hear them converse and I decided that very moment it was going to be my life too.  But how unfortunate, my elder brother had married three times since 1999.

cheating on my wife

Few months before I got married to my sweetheart less than a decade ago, I told myself that no other woman would have carnal knowledge of me. Cheating was a huge NO for me, I felt too sure I was going to uphold my marriage vows till I’m six feet beneath. However, a few weeks after our wedding, my heartbeat had to jet off Nigeria to head a company overseas, she, unfortunately, wouldn’t be visiting home in about twelve months.

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Oh, I didn’t tell you that I love sex more than food, I easily point out the weakness and lack of skills of many porn stars effortlessly. I am that good. My libido is indescribable. I studied sex. My baby is extremely good too. Now, we were about to leave without it for more than a year, it didn’t look like a big deal because I held our marriage vows sacred and the love we share is precious too.

cheating on my wife (blue balls)
Source- Times of India

However, after many months went by, I started to feel very uncomfortable anytime I got aroused through wet dreams or sensual thoughts; I felt serious pain in my testicles. When a man is aroused, sperm is generated in the testicles and the sperm gathered in the scrotum causes discomfort because they are not released. I took to a habit of masturbation to get rid of the semen out of my system but only a little semen can be released through masturbation. Also, coupled with all the other side effects and the disadvantages of masturbation, I became frustrated and very sex-starved.

The Last Straw

For a while, I still kept on with masturbation because it was the most I could do, I couldn’t tell my wife how I was feeling sexually for fear of distrust with her thinking I might be tempted to cheat. One day, I was out with a female friend in an open space but for some reason, I couldn’t place it, I got aroused in the process, maybe because I hadn’t come that close to a female since my wife traveled. I was having an erection as we spoke and couldn’t bear the pain in my testicles too as I could neither stand nor walk to where I would board a cab. The pain was so much that two people alongside the lady had to come over to help me stand on my feet.

cheating on my wife; Blue balls
Source- YouTube

“Are you sex-starved?” the lady asked me days after the incident while she came visiting me at home. The question made me stutter, I was embarrassed to admit it, apparently, she linked what happened the other day to lack of sex. She offered to give me a blowjob with a stern warning never to touch her because she was a virgin. Somehow the bias of it being just a blowjob and the fact that she was a virgin made it sound cool. I was torn between upholding my marital vows or setting for a blow job.

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“It’s just a blow job, nothing more! Calm down”, I said these words in my mind trying to justify the act; after all, I won’t have to kiss her nor sex her right? I obliged and she seductively unbelted my trouser and got working on my dick. I knew I was cheating on my wife regardless of my zest to justify it as “just a blowjob”.  While she kept taking my dick in and out of her mouth with numerous strokes, I didn’t forget about my marriage vows. I remembered the beauty of my wife and the excellence of our marriage but none of them could stop me at this point. To feel less of a sinner, I at some point imagined it was my wife performing the act, her facials and moan but…

cheated on my wife; blow job
Source- Amazon

THE BEGINNING AND HICCUPS

Truthfully, It was one of the best relievers I had had in a long time; my semen was as warm as pap and I felt better. The act crowned the beginning of my life as a cheating husband because tell you what, I can’t stop even if I tried. And despite showing off my marital status, the ladies I meet still wanted me in bed. 

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Do I feel sad for being a cheat? At the initial stage, I felt bad, but there’s something about committing a sin without getting caught that makes you want to do it over and over. For some weird reasons, it feels like the ladies I usually have extramarital affairs with makes the bond with my wife stronger. My getting sexual satisfaction elsewhere makes  me bug less about her return, all I do is support her with affection over the phone and dish career advice.

cheating on my wife
Source- Shutter Stock

No one ties the knot with a mindset that they are going to cheat, circumstances make people cheat. Maybe I would still be cheating on my wife if the distance wasn’t a barrier because who knows, another factor could have led to cheating. For instance, my best friend married his virgin angel who has a lower libido than him, they created a love-making timetable but the lady would choose to fast and pray the day they ought to make love just to avoid sex. My friend is now an unrepentant cheat.

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Olu, my friend married his sex-freaked girlfriend, they share three children but he loves to have sex with ladies with much better touches. His wife enjoys penetration, she is not really good at oral sex and she doesn’t see why she has to learn it. Today, the beautiful haven they had as a home is now a beautiful past event.

Spit or Swallow - A Blow Job Beginner's Guide to Spitting or Swallowing
Source- Cosmopolitan

Tope, my old neighbor lost his wife to a distant friend because he stopped showering and brushing his mouth before going to bed as he felt it is not really important like it used to be when they were dating. He cried, he begged but he lost her after more than a year of her cheating behind closed doors.

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I also have a lady friend that got married to her first university love and his cheating lifestyle began after two kids. The lady got solace from a male friend that was also broken and the chemistry was irresistible, in the process, she discovered love-making can be heaven on earth; she thus desired much more of it.

 

FINITO!

One bitter truth no one likes to voice is that marriage vows do not stop cheating.  Cheating is not necessarily an absence of love but certainly an absence or presence of some variables. Research tells us that more than 50% of couples felt they married the wrong persons in the first five years of their marriages. Many of them desire divorcé and/or engage in extramarital affairs. Time, events, and unity of purpose are what solidifies marriages, not vows or promises.

Do I think my wife is cheating on me too? Most likely yes! But I’ll be a very foolish man to ask her that question. At some point, she’d have wanted sex and a man gotta do what he gotta do right?

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I decided to share my story here especially for people who think that marriage vows are everything needed to keep a home, and to those who condemn divorcees and write comments on blogs affirming “I don’t care what happens, my own marriage will work”. Interesting! Do you really think these couples didn’t fight to protect their marriage? Do you think they gave up just like that? Only he that wears the shoes knows where it pinches most so I’ll advise you to wait your turn.

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cheating on my wife

Just like I’ve relayed my experience sincerely, I’ll like to ask, can you open up to your spouse or partner if you cheated on them? My wife will be home soon finally, never to be apart and I really want us to work, I want us to start making babies too and I’m thinking the first step should be opening up about my cheat life with hopes that I don’t go back to committing such sin again and also so I don’t feel guilty. Would the best approach be letting her in on my cheat life? If you are in her shoes, would you forgive me?

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Also, I’ll like to ask the married ones reading this, have you ever cheated on your spouse? How did you feel the first time you cheated? If you’ve stopped cheating, how did you manage to navigate back to morality? I’ll appreciate your comments👇👇👇. 

 

 

 

 

7 min read

Rules are slippery, especially the ones we’ve set for ourselves. You hold so hard and because you’re not accountable to no one, it sometimes becomes like a cube of melting ice in your palm, the more you cling to it, the more you lose grip. When it comes to finding attraction, nursing it, and maybe turning it into love, we all have our preferences and barriers, but sometimes these urges treat us like Judas. I used to tell myself that no matter the amount of horniness my body exuded, the office space was definitely out of the question. But hell no, the office space hath no danger like my gasping libido.

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So this very day I was at work and felt the pressing need to pee, I could not use the gents because I was outside the office building so I resolved to make use of a sharp corner outside (typical Nigerian man style). I was completely jolted from my pressure relief as I heard my boss called my name at a very close range. “Romeo! Romeo!” I never heard any footsteps prior to then, perhaps I was too carried away obeying the call of nature and enjoying the soothing relief. 

office romance
Source- Giphy

Still letting out urine, I turned slightly to my left, and behold, my boss stood, lust, watching the size of my dick as it relieved itself. Her gaze made me shocked too that we both stood transfixed staring at each other in a synchronous surprising mood for a few seconds. To make matters worse, I could not bury my dick back into my brief as it all happened in the middle of the shower. She surprisingly stood and watched until the last drop. I jingled the bell and tucked my dick in while acting like it was nothing but an unplanned occurrence. I guess that awakened her consciousness as she breathed and whisked me off to point out a flaw in a work I did earlier. We both acted as nothing happened. 

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My boss is a very beautiful woman who is moderately tall and has a well-built body. We both have a very cordial relationship, we make jokes about almost anything and we both are sort of close. After that day, I could read from her mood around me that she was quite disturbed about the incident. Whatever she had in mind I could not tell but she sure wore a strange countenance. Also, days after the incident, she took an interest in addressing me as ‘big boy‘ and sometimes joked with me saying she is sure my girlfriends are lucky. Well, I didn’t overthink it as we were cordial before what happened and slightly used to have relationship conversations and other topics that transcend workplace stuff, but never did we cross the line of erotic thoughts for each other.

office romance
Source- GreenHouse

OOPS!!!

“Don’t your girls complain of your size?” huh!! I didn’t know the reaction to give on this fateful day when she threw the question from the blues. We had coincidentally closed late from work as I had to finish some jobs that day in her private office space. As expected, two idle minds trying to keep each other company in a silent space, we delved into a variety of topics, sex inclusive.  

Read: Sexual Advances and a Halt in the Milk Flow

The question had my head rotating 360 but gosh! I couldn’t feign ignorance as the nature of our discussion had already laid a foundation for such. I shyly responded “No” without looking her in the eye and this made us both giggle at each other. She then opened up to me about how that incident messed up her day and still sometimes fucks with her head. That moment where someone lets you in on their secret and you gotta play cool so that they feel comfortable, I made her believe it was nothing. “Can I catch a little glimpse again?” Huh?! Did I hear correctly or my ears are messing with me? Did my boss just ask to see my dick?! Wow! I wasn’t sure how to react, putting two and two together wasn’t forthcoming. Should I unzip my trousers? Is this a fucking test? My dick was already giving some tensioning nods inside my briefs. 

Image result for hard erection inside jeans
Source- Daily Mail

The farthest I’ve heard this kind of scene occurred is usually on pornhub (boss sucks and squeezes secretary’s titties after work🤭).  Never thought a day like that would come where I’ll have my share of office romance. While she stared waiting for my next move, I found myself unhooking my belt, I then dropped my boxers, and showed her my dick. The tension in the room became too high, she stared at my dick like she wanted something more. Dumbfounded! my adrenaline was pumping high, I became fully erect. 

Read: When You No Longer Work There

“Wow”, she said, breaking the silence. “Care to touch some?” I responded. At this point she’s seen it all, so I didn’t care if my questions crossed the line. It felt like I could hear her heartbeat loud and clear, she came closer and reached for my dick. From little strokes to very fast ones, my dick got engulfed in a highly pitched massage. Just when I thought she still had a little shyness reserved, she gleefully went down on me with a blowjob. I won’t lie, she good. I saw her transform from the gentle boss I thought she was to a wilding just the way I like it. She demanded I gagged her with my dick pounding in her mouth which I obliged and after a while, I erupted in her mouth. Although she didn’t let me insert in her orifice, I had enough pussy juice to lap on and also tongued her soft rounded ass. What a day! This was the start of our office romance. 

office sex
Source- Dollar Shave Club

Subsequently, we developed the habit of working late hours just to have sex or meeting at secluded places to have quickies. I recollect pounding her on her table, giving her doggy not less than twice in her toilet, and of course, tending to her facesitting fetish which became our routine during foreplay. Anyone who has fetishes would understand the pleasure derived from it. We almost got caught and that was the end of our office sex. Although we still had it one more time after then, we did a whole lot outside the office thereafter.

Should You Have Office Romance?

I’ve seen a lot of folks vehemently rebuke the idea of dating or having a fling with someone in their workspace, department, church, etc. well I also was that way too. However in this case, my boss was actually a switch. She knew how to assume the role of a boss whenever people were around, you could even swear I was her least preferred staff.  We also did not let the romance get into business. We were mature enough to separate the two into parallel lines that never met. 

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office romance
Source- Cutting Edge PR

Office romance 90% of the time is inevitable, it’s the same way you see a random chic in your hood or church and fall in love or play dirty with. And like every relationship has some subliminal rules, one founded in the office should too. My advice to anyone who wants to try office romance is you have to be very discreet and mature enough to handle it. 

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I’ve read beautiful stories of co-workers falling in love and eventually getting married. Likewise, some stories ending in premium tears. In my case, a happy ever after wasn’t the goal though, I really enjoyed my time with her and made up my mind to not be pissed whenever it came to a halt. And yeah it ended,  boss had to fly overseas to further her studies. office romance

Have you ever had a fling or dated anyone in the same workspace with you? How did it turn out? And If you’re averse to having romantic affairs with your colleagues, I’ll like to know why. Also, why is it that office management frowns at love affairs in the workspace? I’m of the opinion that since it involves two adults who know how to effectively go about their daily activities, it shouldn’t be a big deal you know. What do you think? I’ll like to hear your experience and take too in the comment section😅👇.

 

 

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6 min read

Hello Muttering Minds, I feel too broken at heart to say the least and I’m hoping you can share my story…

What is love really? What’s the essence of love if at the end of the day family still has to decide who you should love? What is love if we still have to abide by the rules our forefathers made a thousand years before we were born?

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In 2016, I met this lovely dude, we kicked off as friends and so quickly started to share a special affection for each other. We fell in love without any friction and by mid-2017, we started dating. So much love to give, he’s cool, romantic, and sweetly annoying. Despite our silly fights and challenges, we always have ways of overcoming as a couple.

osu caste
“So much love to give, he’s cool, romantic, and sweetly annoying” ( Pic source- The Grand Home Design)

Dude knows how to tolerate my mood swings which could sometimes cross the border, but we cool. I don’t know if words do justice to how much I am in love with him but it is what it is. We’ve been through low blows, tear-jerking moments and for a fact, he makes me believe in the existence of true love that I cannot help but imagine spending the rest of my life with him. He’s a romantic.

Read: Finding Your ‘Spec’ and the Flipsides

At last year’s crossover (2020), I got to meet his family. Prior to the time, I usually felt nervous over the thought of “meeting the family” (I guess it’s normal). I always imagined most importantly if they’d like me, how to behave, you know these horror mother-in-law stories we hear. But his is different. The few days I spent with his family felt like I had known them for ages. The love was so genuine, it wasn’t one of those where you can smell pretense, No! I felt really welcomed. I could tell that love lives in his family. 

osu caste system
“I could tell that love lives in his family” (pic source- Yes! Magazine)

Fast forward to meeting mine to discuss marriage… My man also had the same phobia, he decided seeing my mum first will be best as he believes she could talk on his behalf to my dad first. According to him, most fathers are usually not arms open at the first meeting, which I agreed to. Fortunately, he found favor in my mum’s eyes, she thought he was cool, so we decided to climb the step further to meet my dad.

 

The Shocker!

My man visited home and got talking with my dad. I hail from the eastern part of Nigeria, I’m Igbo, and precisely from Imo state likewise my man. In my culture, when a man comes to seek a lady’s hand in marriage (popularly called ‘knocking on the door’), asking where he’s from, his origin, is a primary question.

Read: Scary Tales About Marriage; Should the Union Have An Expiry Date?

My dad inquired about his roots, the name of his village, and stuff. As soon as he mentioned the name of his village, my dad’s facial expression became sour. “We do not marry from this place! We do not marry your people, it is an abomination!”, my dad said without remorse, adding that he would make further investigation again about my man’s village.  It happens that my man is an Osu (outcast).

osu caste system
“My dad’s facial expression became sour” (image source- It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia)

 

Osu Practice In Igbo Land

If you’re not Igbo (even some Igbo’s don’t know this), the Osu caste system is as old as the Igbo tradition. The origin dates back to the era where Igbo villages were ruled by the laws of the earth Odinani. The deity known as Ala had some rules that must be obeyed (just like a country has its constitution). Those who broke any of these rules or were found guilty of grave offenses were cast away from the land as it was believed their presence will bring ill fortune to the village. The offenders were regarded as Osu. Sometimes the Osu’s could be used as slaves or sold for slavery or enslaved in shrines to serve the deities ruling the land and also if the community needed a human’s blood sacrifice for cleansing or during festivals, the Osu’s were used. Osu’s were also deprived of homes and made to sleep in shrines or marketplaces.

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Image result for osu caste system images
Pic Source- Gospel Blaze

The Osu’s were not allowed to have social interactions let alone marriage with the freeborns (non-offenders) as they are considered as bad luck. It is fondly said that whenever a freeborn marries an Osu, his/her life turns around for the worst. In modern times, some Igbo traditional rulers like the Obi of Onitsha in October 2018, made a move to ensure the Osu caste system is abolished. Also, some traditional leaders in Oguta Local Government filed a motion to end the madness, urging that people do not deserve to face the wrath that comes with the sins of their age-long ancestors. I also read somewhere that Nnamdi Azikwe while he was alive moved a motion for the abolishment in 1956 in the Eastern Nigerian House of Assembly but it was a fruitless motion.

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Image result for osu caste system images
Pic Source- Medium

So far, some parts of Igbo land claim it’s no longer practiced but a greater number still hold it highly even though modernization has quenched the loudness surrounding it.

osu caste system

I’m Broken

Imagine one person in your lineage committed a crime as far back as a thousand years ago and you still suffer the punishment/ discrimination in this 21st century. I’m broken, I’m confused, and I feel too hurt. My dad has refused to give ears to whatever concerns marriage to my man despite my man saying his family is not one.

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I feel depressed, betrayed, frustrated, and for the most of it, unloved by my family. My mother who described my man as cool no longer sees him as such, my three sisters except one have also turned their backs against me. They keep fuelling the fire urging that I must end the relationship with my man otherwise I will bring curses upon our family. I never imagined I was going to face something this grave. My man doesn’t mind going all out to ensure we get married. His family is also very welcoming and wants me but not without my father’s blessings.

osu caste

What should I do? Should I follow love and face the consequences of being disowned forever by my family? Or follow family and lose love? I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love my man, I cannot process the thought of letting go and starting all over. Imagine a whole four years down the drain, It’s suicidal, I find it hard to process.

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I need help. If you’re reading this and have ever been at crossroads in deciding if to choose love or family (on the grounds of religion or culture), I need your advice. Maybe you’re an Osu too or you got married to one, please talk to me. Did anything bad happen to you? I need help, I can’t make this decision on my own. Do family blessings matter in a marriage? Is a father’s blessing important or overrated when it comes to marriage? If you were in my shoes, what would you do? I’ll appreciate your sincere comments. 👇👇

 

 

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8 min read

If you lose your voice at a pharmacy while requesting to purchase a condom or contraceptive because of how embarrassing you think it is, now imagine trying to purchase a pregnancy kit and thereafter requesting an abortion. It’s a blend of too many ugly emotions; you automatically feel you’re a walking disgrace especially knowing you are unmarried. And not excluding the unfriendliness of the medical practitioners in this part of the world who rather than carry out their job decides to play the role of a moral watchdog to your conscience.

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The thought of abortion, talk more of carrying out the act, has since time past raised a lot of eyebrows and this makes me even more aware that my story will also trigger your brows up too (but I hope you don’t judge me, at least not too much).

abortion
Source- Light House

A new month was close to being over and I hadn’t seen my period. I was sexually active but since I’ve been careful for as long as I recall, I refused to accommodate any cause for alarm. But it started to feel like the month was watching me feel all relaxed, so it started to speed off. I became scared, I tried to recall my sexual escapades…” But I used a condom or didn’t I?”. Oh God! I fondly exclaimed anytime the thought of pregnancy crossed my mind. I began to beg God that if he takes the imagined pregnancy away, I’ll never have sex again in my life. The paranoia I felt praying for my period was intense. I begged God that even if it came with so many cramps, I wouldn’t mind, gosh! Anything to see my period at that time.

After a fruitless wait for my period, some weird symptoms became very noticeable in my body. I shoved it away and tagged it as my mind playing tricks but deep down I knew there was something wrong. I got into another phase of contemplating the shame and rehearsing how to walk into a pharmacy with a stone-cold face and purchase a pregnancy test kit so I’ll know the way forward.

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Early Symptoms of Pregnancy abortion

I had been having sex with my ex, I know right! I bet your eyebrows just raised a bar. But it’s been hard to let go and to cut the story short, it’s very COMPLICATED. I let him in on how I had been feeling for a few weeks and the clown was happy. He wanted me to keep the baby if I confirmed it and agreed to make us official.

                                                                 

Finding Out and Contemplating an Abortion…

My greatest nightmare came true, I was pregnant. The stripe test read positive ooo and tell you what, it was the fifth one, I was so in denial that I kept purchasing different brands of test kits until I finally accepted the truth.

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The smile, the rage, and fear I had swirling around inside me. I was legit laughing, crying, and shaking. Apart from being mentally and financially unfit to mother a child, MY MUM!!!! She’ll kill me. The news of a coming child is good but the circumstances surrounding it can make it bad. Getting pregnant out of wedlock too wasn’t part of the plan.

Abortion pregnancy scare

Breaking the news to my ex that I was three weeks gone, he was happy but I wasn’t having it. “I’m not keeping the baby, I need funds to have an abortion”, I said to him crying. He got so pissed, sad, and was for a while speechless. He’s rich, hardworking, and handsome and the ideal man most ladies dream to have in their lives, so fending for a baby wasn’t his problem. But I cannot! A child in my life right now will ruin and halt too many things that involve climbing my career ladder. Again I have this phobia for marriage (a close example is that of my parents), it will be terrible enough to get into it for the sake of a child, and no way in God’s name will I take on the title of a baby mama either.donate a penny abortion

Despite trying to persuade me and refusing to send me the money, my mind was still bent on an abortion. Hello!! It might be your baby I’m carrying but it’s my body we’re talking about here, I can’t keep this child. After more back and forth, he sent the money but refused to follow me to the hospital.

abortion
Source- Pulse Nigeria

My Search Journey for a Coded Ultimate Solution…

Talking about abortion like I mentioned earlier is taboo, so I became very careful about who to talk to. I asked very few friends who had at one point or the other in prior conversations made mention of knowing someone who knows someone that has used certain drugs or had done a D & C abortion surgery.

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I finally got a name of a particular drug to purchase but all the pharmacies I visited in my neighborhood succeeded in making me look foolish. It was either no response or an unclear one accompanied by a judgmental stare. I got tired and began to read up on pills on Google and this even made me weaker. It mostly hinged on the complications especially in cases of having leftovers. Also reading that aborting via drugs was a slow process and I needed to have someone by my side for the first three days became discouraging. I needed to get rid of it once and for all.As Abortion Restrictions

I left home to avoid any suspicion from my mum to a friend’s place who I eventually opened up to. I really thank God I did cause asides that she was so caring, she happened to have a link to a doctor who knew about D & C operation. I spoke to the doctor over the phone and after a series of confidential questions, he scheduled an appointment.

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During the appointment, a scan was recommended so as to know the location of the fetus. The scan detected a thick form developing already but the lab attendant advised that I waited till after 2 weeks before they could see anything. “TWO WEEKS!!” I laughed quite dangerously, it’s like he missed the memo, he thought it was a blissful phase for me. Hell no! I took the scan result to the doctor immediately who advised me to run a blood test to be sure, well it still came out positive.

pregnancy blood test abortion

“Miss ******, you’re pregnant, what do you want to do now?”, lol, these people must think I came here for laughs. That was quite some humor though, the doctor got some sarcasm. “You don’t want to keep it, why now? didn’t you know when you were enjoying yourself?” oooh! Now he’s beginning to act as my assistant conscience. I thought we already discussed this? Long story short, after proper checks and documentation, and advice that I get an IUD afterward, we proceeded for the abortion which was successful but not without terrible pains.

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 About the IUD… it’s a form of family planning. A copper IUD was inserted into my uterus. It’s a small t-shaped coil with a rope that was cut a little but I can still feel it whenever I insert my finger in my vagina. I’m grateful the doctor introduced that to me actually because these days you really cannot put all your trust in condoms. He also noted the IUD cannot prevent infection.

The coil (IUD) abortion
IUD Coil (Image source Net Doctor)

 

The Disturbing Images and Guilt After…

When I mentioned ‘not without terrible pains’, it’s no joke. I had never felt so much pain before in my life. The pain became a pain even in my memory. For a long time, I couldn’t get over the images of him sticking a device into my vagina to suck out the pregnancy blood. Gosh! I screamed in tears, I wish I was given anesthesia because the pain was terrible. I for one resolved it was the punishment I had to bear. He kept sticking this big device in, pumping and pumping while all I could do was scream repeatedly.

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My memory wouldn’t let go of the result of all he pumped out. He presented it to me before disposing of it like he knew it would hunt me later. For a while, my mind kept playing tricks that there was a half-formed baby inside the pool of blood. Lowkey, I was depressed.

Depression after abortion

I had no doubt about wanting an abortion; I felt it was my best choice. But however afterward, the guilt hits. I felt too much guilt, especially the day I went to church and my pastor made a call on women seeking the fruit of the womb. The numbers had me cringing; “see people looking for kids and I took my own away”, the guilt slapped so hard. Thanks to my friend who talked me out of it, according to him the devil is trying to mess with my mind and I mustn’t give in.

donate a penny abortion

But should abortion be tagged as a sin? I couldn’t fend for a child, so I had to get rid of it. I felt so messed up recalling all the anti-abortion Christian talks and morals from elders. But wouldn’t it have been crueler for me to birth a baby and be negligent towards its need? More than guilt, I feel more relief knowing I’m not pregnant (yet). If you ask me, I’ll say that abortion should be legal in every country and more open for discussion rather than in secrecy. Although legalizing it might welcome more promiscuity, but I’m certain it will help reduce the population of starving kids as well as incompetent parents.

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abortion muttering minds

To the ladies reading my story, have you ever had an abortion? Did you suffer from guilt afterward?  What were your coping mechanisms? Also, what will do if you wanted an abortion and the father of the baby refuses? To the men, have you ever been at crossroads in getting your lady to have an abortion or not? Generally, I’ll love to know your sincere take on abortion. Thank you Muttering Minds for allowing me to share a part of my maybe ‘ugly’ past (depends on your view). Please I’ll appreciate your comments and maybe advice👇👇.

 

 

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