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Mutterers Club

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3 min read

A friend invited me to her church one Sunday and when it was time for offering, we all danced forward and dropped our offerings in the box. After the first offering, we had four other rounds of offerings, one category was to raise money for their new church building. I am sure this is not new to most of us especially from this part of the world. Other offering categories included children offering, Levites offering and women offering.

I was perplexed at why the pastor collected so much from the members, I felt like he was exploiting them. To my greatest surprise, the brethren who sat close to me divided N100 notes into five and split it in different envelopes. I felt like I had been duped because I put N200 in the envelopes making a total of N1000.

Read: Testifiers Are Performers

How Much Money Have Black Churches Collected From Members ...

I got home that day asking myself why I allowed myself to be exploited that way. You know that feeling when you go to the market to buy something only to get back home and confirm the price and discover the seller cheated you? That was how I felt. Then suddenly some rare question crossed my mind  “Who really owns the church- God, the pastor, or the members?”

A lot of us stroll into church every Sunday, worship God and stroll out but we have never bothered to ask how things are run in the church. How do they fuel the generator? How do they make minor repairs in the church? How does the full-time pastor feed his family during the week? You meet the house of God well decorated, but do you bother to know what goes on behind the scenes?  Then you stroll out of the church and go to social media to tweet…“My pastor is definitely using my money to build an empire #ScrapTithing”. 

Read: Sundays, For Fashion Not Sermon
church
“My pastor is definitely using my money to build an empire #ScrapTithing”

I thought of two reasons why that pastor collected five offerings: 

  • The church might be a new church and things are still hard for them.
  • The members are not giving enough and the pastor decided to divide the offering for accountability purposes.

I’m not saying the pastor is right to have collected five offerings but come to think of it, a lot of church members are stingy, they want to get from God but they don’t want to give to support his cause. We forget the principle of “give and it shall be given unto you”.

church
The church might be a new church and things are still hard for them.

The brethren who I saw dividing N100 notes into five gave me an insight on what the majority of the members likely did. These same church members will go out and say “my pastor is duping me”. Some of you might want to argue that brethren give what they can afford but we all know the truth here. Some brethren are unapologetic leeches who want to enjoy feeding off the goodness of the church without any sympathy of giving.

We all understand that Christ is the head of the church but what is the head without the body? As members, we are responsible for the church growth as well as the pastor. Apart from giving our widow’s mite, we should be able to give a substantial amount that will be used to develop the church.

church
Begin to take responsibility and contribute your own quota.

Like we often say  “I am going to my church” instead of  “I am going to my pastor’s church”, let’s act on it. Begin to take responsibility and contribute your own quota. I’m not leaving the pastors out of this. Pastors must be accountable for every dime they get. The lack of transparency of some pastors is what gives people who know nothing to blab. It is wrong to turn the church into a money-making factory where members are sucked off all they have. Let’s be guided.

3 min read

Blum House ‘Fantasy Island’ tells a story about five people who are lucky guests on an Island “where any and everything is possible“. An island where wishes although come true, turns into prison or nightmare. The film follows each individual’s fantasy, revealing the psyche of each character; their personal battles and demons, the road they wish they took as things slowly get out of control.

The pace of the movie is excellent, as it gives the viewers a walk through each character’s personality and journey without the need for a long back story. The fantasy begins soon after the characters settle in and not long after, so does the chaos.

Read: The Mask Of Civility

Watching ‘Fantasy Island’, I had summarized the outcome of the movie, as I do with most horror, thriller or suspense movies for fun, but the writers, Jeff Wadlow, Chris Roach and Jillian Jacobs, throw in beautiful curve balls and plot twists as if prepared for cynics like me.

Fantasy Island' Trailer: Blumhouse Remakes Classic Show as Horror ...

Frankly, I was skeptic about watching the horror thriller film because of the impression I got from Jason Blum’s previous production ‘Us’. Not to take anything away from the cast who did very well,  and also the final revelation of the main character (Adelaide Wilson) played by Lupita Nyong’o. But as part of the twist included the whole town rather than just Adelaide’s family, it lost the very beautiful direction the story was taking. Sorry for deviating, I just had to chip in the comparison to emphasize how impressed I am with Jason Blum on this one. 

Read: A Mask On Our Stupid

fantasy island on muttering minds

I tip my hat to the cast, especially Michael Peña who plays Mr Roarke, the curator/owner of the fantasy island. For someone who is no stranger to comedy, he does very well in shifting personality and delivery in executing a man who’s dream and ambition comes at a cost and so he lives burdened with his choices.

Fantasy Island review on muttering minds

The movie passes an age-old school of thought, “The grass is greener on the other side”. People always feel dissatisfied with their reality. Always wishing for more and because of the beauty of imagination, we actually become discontent with reality, only to realize we have to make the best out of what we have. It also tolls forgiveness and acceptance.

muttering minds fantasy island review

‘Fantasy Island’ is a thrilling movie for fans of the horror/ thriller genre. After watching the movie I asked myself, “If wishes became horses for real, will I actually ride?” I don’t think so. I will leave you with a quote from the beautiful song in the end by Jared Lee “Don’t wish your life away” that captures the essence of the movie.

“There’s a fine line between what we want and what we need…Don’t wish your life away…Don’t live for yesterday”.

 

 

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3 min read

I’ve seen atheists effortlessly defend the notion that there is no God. I’ve seen the zeal in their eyes when they say “I know there is a supreme being but it’s definitely not someone sitting in the sky”. How about you dear Christians? To what extent can you brag that God exists?

A lot of ‘Christians’ become speechless especially on social media when it is necessary to defend what they believe in, they stay under the guise that “you cannot defend God”. I know you cannot defend God but you can defend what you believe. It is important to note that most atheists were once ‘strong’ Christians or would I say believers who after much trying stumbled upon several reasons to stop believing in the existence of what they often call an ‘abstract’ being. Their belief system changed.

Read: When God Takes A Nap

The 5 C's of Preaching

I remember a movie I saw in 2014 titled ‘God’s not dead’ by Micheal Scott. Josh Wheaton, a Christian, enrolled in a philosophy class taught by Professor Joffrey Radisson, a staunch atheist. The professor required everyone to write on a plain sheet that “God is dead”, that was the only way to pass that class. Josh refuses and the Professor challenged him to a debate to prove the existence of God.

It would have been easy as a believer to walk away from that class and say “lead us not into temptation” or “I cannot defend God” but Josh saw that over 200 students were going to deny the existence of God so they can pass the course. It is also easy to confess that God is dead then go home to ask God for forgiveness, at least he’s a merciful father. But Josh knew what he believed in and was ready to defend it even when failure was staring at him in his face.

Read: A Miracle Or By Force?

It would have also been easy to leave the class after Josh’s girlfriend, Kara had to break up with him over his madness but there was a bigger picture. Josh went back home to soak himself into an intense study of the word, searching and asking questions. Although the professor was able to counter all of Josh’s points in the first two rounds of debates, in the final debate, Josh was able to prove not just to the professor but also to the whole class that there is a God.

A lot of so called ‘believers’ find it difficult to speak about their beliefs because they only know the God of the Bible, they don’t know God for themselves. When there is a little counter opinion to what they know, they are easily swayed by it and then they resolve to make statements like  “he’s God, he can defend himself” or “I wont be caught arguing for God” or worse still they shut you up and warn you not to question what you can’t understand. Was it not the same God that gave us brains to think?

Christains
A lot of believers find it difficult to speak about their beliefs because they only know the God of the Bible, they don’t know God for themselves

As believers, it is important to soak yourself in intense study of the word. It is important to also search far and wide so as to encounter him because a day will come when your faith will be tested just like Jesus in the wilderness and God help you not to fall flat on your face. You don’t defend God but you defend what you believe. Imagine how many souls would have been lost if Josh behaved as you do and didn’t stand up for God. The professor would have polluted the mind of the other students and there would have been no revival.

Your voice as a believer can bring revival to the soul of many, quit being a Sunday Christian alone because a time will come when your gold will be put into the fire. In this lockdown, begin to seek the Lord for yourself so that he can reveal dimensions of his glory to you. Stop being a quiet Christain! Feed yourself with his words! Be defensive for Christ if you have to.

 

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3 min read

For Apple to purchase a movie for a whopping sum of  $20 million after watching just its eight minutes sizzle reel, then you know it is no joke. Starring Samuel L. Jackson as Joe Morris and Anthony Mackie as Bernard Garrett, ‘The Banker’ strikes the chord of an inspirational civil rights drama.

Based on real-life events, George Nolfi’s direct tells the story of two African American revolutionary entrepreneurs who seek to financially empower black Americans by buying homes in the white neighbourhoods for them to rent and offering loans to black-owned businesses. In order to get around racial discrimination and take on the racist establishment of the ’60s, they recruit a white guy as their frontman while they run the business from behind the scenes.

The Banker

I learnt a great deal from watching ‘The Banker’. First, the importance of marrying the right partner which for me, was one of the deepest lessons. Marrying the wrong spouse can cost you a great deal of misfortune. Like Eve convinces Adam to eat the forbidden fruit, It takes Matt’s wife similar ways to convince him for ownership of a property. Bernard’s wife, on the other hand, is a clever street smart woman who believes in him and supports him till the very end.

How much you want something should reflect on how much you are willing to work for it.  Bernard Garrett knows what he wants and was willing to go the extra mile to get it. I love the character. His overplay of ambition and guts makes his partners and investors pick interest in him from the onset. Another lesson I learnt from watching him is that it is not always about plenty talk but getting things done. If it means doing things the unconventional way then risk it so long as you believe in it. Anyone who wants to succeed in life should possess the dogged determination to see possibilities and make it a reality.

The Banker

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Asides being Apple’s most expensive film at the moment, another reason I was excited to watch ‘The Banker’ was because of Samuel L. Jackson. He’s a screen god who never disappoints in delivering his onions. He ranks as the highest of all-time box office stars with over $7.1 billion total US box office gross plus his numerous accolades and awards. It felt really exhilarating watching him play the supporting role to the lead actor. And on a lighter note, he didn’t use the word ‘motherfucker’ this time.

I really enjoyed watching ‘The Banker’ and had to recommend it to my followers out of excitement. I know it’s based on a real-life event and not fiction but I was really pained they lost a great number of their properties because of one man’s foolishness and ego. Overall, I think the casting, the cinematography as well as the sound effect were great. Editing too was apt cause I noticed some smooth connections between the pieces of the film. It’s a great one, you should watch it.

 

3 min read

So I  posted the image below on my WhatsApp status to get candid opinions from my contacts so guess what, 100% of the men picked Chioma, and by 100% I mean over thirty.

Wow! The world’s way of thinking has finally turned. I remember there was a time when people believed more of  “if you really love your woman and don’t want to lose her, don’t you dare tell her you’ve got another booty”. But now the guys are screaming “he loves Chioma, he trusts Chioma” in my DM… Like WT real F?

Some time ago, this same question came up while discussing with a group of friends and my opinion was completely shushed. I said that I’d rather a man be sincere with me from the onset if he’s got a date or shagging other females than lie to get my commitment. Cause  I’d rather decide my fate by myself than be thrown under a moving train of surprises. I want to know what I’m up against, rather than be crushed by a “stay away from my man” text.

Read: Who Are You Dating? Does Your Partner…

“shut up girl!”… I was hushed completely.  My friends said to me: A man that tells you he’s got another woman, doesn’t love you or respect your feelings. He only wants to use you. When he’s done, he’ll dump you and crawl back to the arms of his real love like you never happened. This was their take. Well, in the long run, I had to conform to their standpoint.

love
A man that tells you he’s got another woman, doesn’t love you or respect your feelings.

Sadly a lot of ladies don’t. Most ladies believe that if a man loves them, he wouldn’t say. NOT ME, Cause I know the kind of stress I’ll put the man through just to be sure he really wants me.  

Well, the recent responses I got on WhatsApp is a proof that men have moved into a different thinking zone, my thought zone! Welcome home guys, I’m happy to know that y’all have won the quest for SENSE SEARCH and I’m proud

 

Same Pill For Ladies?

No lady on this earth will tell the man she truly loves that she’s got another. 

If a lady ever says this, it’s either because she doesn’t love him yet, or she doesn’t love him at all. We’re crazy, we know. And as a blessed Visioneer, a lady already knows if she’ll end up loving/liking a man or not. I don’t know how we know this though, perhaps it’s a superpower.

If a lady has more than one man, whatever she chooses to do with them is totally dependent on her reason for getting into the relationship.

Read: How to Deal with a Love Triangle
A Faithful Man' explores the many sides of a love triangle
A man can’t handle the truth as a lady will

Men And The Truth

A man cannot handle the truth like a lady can.  No man I know will want to remain in a committed relationship with a lady if he finds out she’s got another man. And even if he stays, he’s just enjoying the bed works until he finds a clearer focus.

Note that all the points I gave are only applicable to dating relationships. If it’s got to do with marriage, CHIOMA IS A SIDE CHICK. No man will tell his wife he’s got a side chick. 

I thought I was one of the good guys. Then I read the Aziz Ansari ...
He’s just enjoying the bed works until he finds a clearer focus.

This then leads to one question I’m sure many ladies got on their minds while reading this… “Why won’t he do the same in his relationships?”

My dear, when we see God, we’ll ask him why he created men the way he did, cause I am clueless. Any man with an answer to this question can help us out, cause hell yeah! I’m interested.

And if you think he loves Bisola more, the floor is yours too. Gentlemen/ Ladies, shall we?

 

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4 min read

The short film ‘Bayi’ by Diane Russet, Big Brother Naija’s 2019 housemate, paints a bleak picture of teenage brides in certain parts of Northern Nigeria. It is an accurate depiction of the life of most underaged girls who marry too early.

‘Bayi’ is a Hausa word that literally means ‘slaves’. Who are the slaves in this absorbing film? All the female characters are. Slavery is portrayed through their submissiveness or blind obedience, inaction and indifference and backed by a religious text that is often misinterpreted to support child marriage. The women are not just enslaved by their submissiveness, they are enslaved by a culture that objectifies women. Oppressed by a culture that visualizes them as sex objects and discard them whenever they’ve outlived their usefulness. 

‘Bayi’ tells the story of an orphaned girl, Fatima,  played by Diane Russet, who is tossed to the street after the tragic death of her family. She takes to begging to survive, and on one occasion, she begs a girl and her mother for food. She and the girl are fated to meet again.

Fatima is adopted by Atikah and taken to Kano. Unsure of how her husband, Mallam Nuhu, would react to her decision to take Fatima in, Atikah becomes edgy, but her nervousness gives way to relief when Nuhu assures her of his support since they are childless. Fatima settles into her new home and her adoptive mother dotes on her.

In a moment of emotional outpouring, Fatima narrates her ordeal to Atikah, who listens compassionately as tears well up in her eyes. She narrates how her village in Jos was raided and reduced to rubble by terrorists. Her family is killed and she is held captive for days until she escapes.

Read Culture Shock! How Incongruous Is The Road That Leads Home?
Bayi
Diane Russet also deserves some accolades: she nailed her role.

Jos, Plateau state, has been a flashpoint for sectarian violence for years. A situation that should’ve been nipped in the bud a long time ago still exists. The tit-for-tat attacks by the Muslim and Christian communities on each other have continued unabated. Fatima was a victim of one of such attacks and there are many more like her in today’s world. It got me thinking, what projects or amenities has the government put in place for Internally Displaced Persons during a religious crisis or terrorist attack?  It’s always some shabby infrastructure, little wonder why most of the survivors flee the IDP camps. The Government need can do better. 

Fatimah’s tale of woes strikes a chord with Atikah and moves her to tears. Visibly shaken and distraught, Fatima sobs while Atikah comforts her.

When Alhaji Danladi visits Nuru and he is told about Fatima’s situation, he proposes to marry her to relieve the Nuhus of the financial burden of taking care of her: a proposal that Nuhu initially rejects but later accepts.

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Bayi

Arranged marriage is prevalent in Muslim communities in the North and it has been so since time immemorial. ‘Bayi’ brings to the front burner the prickly issue of arranged marriages involving underage girls. For religious reasons, the government has been reluctant to tackle the issue head-on. I can recall a bill proposing the age of consent for marriage to be 18 years and above was voted down because Muslim senators from the North claimed it would discriminate against Muslims.

Atikah tells Fatima that she is to be married off to Alhaji Danladi and she protests the decision and breaks down in tears. The scene made me realize how powerless women are in some parts of the North. This powerlessness stems from culture and religion. In Islam, a wife’s submissiveness is bountifully rewarded in heaven. This explains why Atikah can’t stand up to her husband’s decision even though she feels it is wrong.

Fatima’s marriage to Alhaji bears so much pain, abuse and emotional torture. Right from losing her virginity to birthing a stillborn and then complications which result in Vesicovaginal Fistula (VVF); she is stigmatized by Alhaji and her co-wives. She becomes a shadow of her former self. She loses her enthusiasm for life, and she sits all day and cries her eyes out.

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BBNaija Star Diane, Pepper Fans With Her $exy Body In New Photo
Diane Russet

When Alhaji notices that Fatima can’t control her bladder movement, he finds her disgusting and marries a new wife, Barika. Fatima recognizes Barika as the girl who once gave her food in Nasarawa state when she was homeless. After Barika has a share of Alhaji’s torture, the girls abscond and are rescued and treated by Dr Yasmine and Dr Nabila. 

‘Bayi’ is not just a movie to entertain the senses, but an exposè of the woes in northern Nigeria. It is a call to action to stop underage marriages and a call on the government and NGOs to invest more on the girl child. There are a few NGOs dedicated to helping girls with Vesicovaginal Fistula. One of them is the Kano Fistula Foundation. It is supported by the Fistula Foundation California and the United Nations Population Fund ( UNPF). We need more of this especially in northern Nigeria.

Kudos to the actors and actresses for their stellar performance. Alhaji Danladi, played by Nathaniel King, is so real I’m tempted to think he is a paedophile in real life. He is a fantastic actor. Diane Russet also deserves some accolades: she nailed her role. Atikah, played by Tope Olowoniya was exceptionally good. She did justice to her role. Barika, played by Maryam Kayode, is one child actress I’d love to see more in movies. All the characters gave in their best.

‘Bayi’ although a short film is powerful in its delivery to mean much more than its visuals.  It is a worthwhile production.

 

Click Here To Watch “Bayi”
3 min read

As we all know, the world is at a standstill due to the Coronavirus outbreak. It’s not been easy having to stay indoors, as a matter of fact, it’s been monotonous. So what best to do to quench the boredom? Movies!!!!

Scrolling through social media, a lot of people kept talking about the movie Miracle In Cell No. 7’. One thing everyone had in common was that it made them cry. Hmmm, will it make me cry too? Well, I wouldn’t know except I watched it.

REGARDER))) Miracle In Cell No. 7 STREAMING. V F 2020 - [regarder ...

Miracle In Cell No. 7 is a heart-wrenching and amazing movie that opens our eyes to reality. Five elements play a significant role in its narrative, they include the following:

  • Innocence
  • Love
  • Misuse of Power
  • Wickedness
  • Compassion
  • Sacrifice

The 2019 Turkish movie which in a little space secured a spot among the top 10 trending movies had most of its scenes in prison. It kicked off on a witty note until it met it’s a turning point with the death of a Major General’s daughter, Seda. A carefree lass who missed her footing, hit her head and fell into a river. However unfortunate, Mehmet, a poor man with a cognitive disorder, without hesitation dived into the river to save her. As fate would have it, it was too late, the General and his clan clamped down on him and held him responsible for killing his child.

Tortured without mercy yet Mehmet holds on to his optimistic views about the world, just like his darling daughter Ova. His innocent spirit warms the heart of other inmates in the cell.

Read: A Girl Wants To Stay Invincible

Milagro en la celda 7: final de Miracle in cell 7 que conmueve en ...

Like the saying grieve brings out the best in people, the General got blinded by grief and will go at any length to see innocent Mehmet pay for his child’s carelessness. 

Miracle In Cell No. 7 mirrors the reality of the world. It navigates the oppression meted from the rich to the poor. It got me reflecting on our prisons and how many are like Mehmet, serving a jail term they are not guilty of.

Thank God for Mehmet who got vindicated via a sacrificial act done by a guilty stricken cell mate Aga who decides to die in his place.  Just when I think all hope is lost, the writer toys with my emotions and gives me that joyous moment I’ve been longing for; Mehmet’s freedom and his reunion with his daughter.

Miracle in Cell No. 7
I fell in love with the father-daughter relationship. Lingo Lingo! hehehehe

Another sweet touch of Miracle In Cell No. 7 is the relationship between Mehmet and Ova, the duo deserve tons of accolades. I fell in love with the father-daughter relationship. Lingo Lingo! hehehehe

And about the movie cutting onions, well it sure made my eyes watery and I couldn’t hold back. Like I said earlier, Miracle In Cell No. 7 is heart-wrenching and not for feeble minds. You’re gonna cry like a baby I promise. And if you don’t cry hmm… you definitely got a problem.

 

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2 min read

Watching  multiple award winning actress Octavia Spencer play the role of Madam C J Walker in the movie ‘Self Made’ was everything and more than I expected. 

Spencer’s feisty personality first captured my attention in ‘Hidden Figures’ with her role as Dorothy Vaughn. Prior to watching Self Made, I had come across the fascinating story of  the late American entrepreneur, philanthropist, and political and social activist, Madam C. J. Walker, and hearing about a vivid recreation of her life built my excitement.

Read: Maleficent- Light And Darkness struck A Balance

Self Made sheds light on colorism and sexism. The movie kicks off with Madam Walker (Octavia Spencer) in a marketplace calling forth black women to hear her hair story, “Sisters, sisters! Let’s talk about hair. Hair can be freedom or bondage. The choice is yours.” 

Spencer portrayed the life and talent of late Madam C. J. Walker who was known as America’s first black female self-made millionaire. She was a hard worker who fought against prejudice. Once upon a timid laundry woman who always locked herself behind close doors because of how shabby her hair looked until a remedy came calling. She found a silver lining with the hair business and clinched to it.

Self Made

Read: How To Get Away With Murder Finale Review

Just like how setbacks trigger great ideas, it was the same for Walker, she was ridiculed and told she wasn’t good enough, but rather than allow such derogatory words weigh her down, through consistency and hard work, she was able to build an empire and also became the first black female self made millionaire in America. 

The unique thing for Madam Walker’s move up the ladder was that she wasn’t just concerned about making more money for herself, but also wanted to empower more black women, create employment and also inculcate the entrepreneurship zeal to her daughter, A’lelia Walker played by Tiffany Haddish.

Self Made

Self Made paints a lucid picture of Madam C. J. Walker’s series of trials and setbacks which were enough to make her relent given the times but instead she was fierce, hardworking and commanded attention. She was the quintessence of a go getter who knew exactly what she wanted and achieved it.  

One of the quiet joys of watching this biographical story is the amazing cast which includes one of my favourite girls Tiffany Hadish and the handsome and talented  Blair Underwood. The duo did justice to their individual roles. 

Self Made no doubt is an inspiring watch. I’ll recommend it to everyone, especially entrepreneurs and Students. In all, Madam C.J. Walker’s vigour as an entrepreneur was well portrayed just as reflected in the historical. She was someone who could see beyond making sales as a creator, developing products to serve a purpose and a philanthropist whose good deeds should be never forgotten.

3 min read

There is a common saying that “to be forewarned is to be forearmed.” In saner climes, this saying means just the way it is but unfortunately in our own Nigeria, we need more practicality to the saying.

Covid-19 is a pandemic that affects the entire world. It’s fast spread is an imperative reason to adhere to the instructions about staying indoors because we do not know the best way to prevent ourselves from being susceptible to the ailment.

Read: When God Takes A Nap

Quite a number of States in Nigeria, through their respective governments, have instructed their subjects to practice ‘self-isolation or social-distancing’ for the next couple of weeks, so that the government can contain the spread of the Covid- 19 virus, but it appears that most of the words have fallen on deaf ears.

Recently, in Lagos State, everyone was instructed to stay away from public gatherings like churches, mosques, clubs and the likes, and the reason for this is for no other reason than the fact that people are more exposed to the ailment when they are in such gatherings. 

Covid 19
What in God’s name is this manner of self-isolation/social distancing?
Read: Homosexuality Is Not A Crime

One would think that complete adherence to the instruction will be upheld with the help of religious leaders but unfortunately, we find that even the so-called religious leaders are the ones still inviting their devotees to such public gatherings. 

The question is, “Is wisdom no longer profitable to direct?” or do we need extreme measures like those rumoured in Russia about lions let loose on the streets, waiting for unbending citizens to feast on?

Covid 19
As rumoured in Russia

The Bible admonishes respect for authorities as seen in Romans 13:3 which says “For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behaviour, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same”

Also, Romans 13:12, says  “Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God, and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves”. 

Is it safe to say that at this critical time, the religious leaders are defying the provisions of the bible? To curb the spread of Covid-19, we are asked to remain indoors for our own safety, and religious leaders asking devotees to step out for sermons and services as usual only proves that they have no regard for God and his doctrines. Are they encouraging more deaths so that devotees can assume the title of martyrs because I don’t get it?

Covid 19
Churches have resulted in lying to the media and meeting in secrecy.

Time after time, religious leaders have proven themselves to be demi-gods, going contrary to laws set in place by the government. Now that church gatherings are forbidden is it not time to fully utilize preaching via online media? I know a lot of you will say most churches have adopted that line, well speak for yourself! 

Churches have resulted in lying to the media and meeting in secrecy. Does this now mean that rather than value lives and the safety of humans, the Christian leaders are more interested in reaching out to their subjects for stipends that they would get from them? Or how best does one explain the under-utilization of online media platforms at this critical stage it should serve its purpose. Is wisdom no longer profitable to direct? Covid- 19 is real!!!

 

3 min read

It is often said that love is a beautiful thing. However, from time to time, we see that love, and sometimes a relationship is not a good thing.

It is normal to get attracted to a person after intimacy has been built over time, but what is to be said about an abusive relationship?

We all know how crazy it is when we have to get detached from someone that we have been attached to overtime. It feels like a journey to a dead-end which is unfair with life. An abusive relationship is no exception. 

Read Men Not Robots! Why The deficiency?
abusive relationship
You don’t know except you have experienced it

One hit is enough to walk away from him or her, you think? In my opinion, I’ll say “You don’t know except you have experienced it”. Has it ever occurred to you why people come out years after to say their spouse abuses them? Why not early enough right? Especially the sort that is glaring that such a relationship is a no brainer for the victim? 

Love shared between two people is a beautiful thing but when it accompanies an unhealthy form of attachment, it becomes a relationship between a tormentor and its victim. While the abused lives in denial, the tormentor breeds mixed signals. 

Read Domestic Violence! How Many More Johnny Depp’s To Be Uncovered?
abusive relationship
While the abused lives in denial, the tormentor breeds mixed signals.

The tormentor is sometimes cold, other times romantic and then on most occasions pounces on the victim like they are some rat that encroached their privacy. In all these, the abused feels that the relationship is healthy and too good to be left alone. By too good, they hold onto the memories of the good old days, and the mixed signals they are receiving. They resolve to blame games, with the thought of being the reason the abuser is that way. 

In a typical African setting, when the spotlight of abuse is in context, there is this idea of African women enduring abusive marriages, but the big question is, “When there is an option to leave an abusive relationship, why condone so much pain for so long?”

Read: Signs Of An Abusive Relationship 
Abusive Relationship
Until walking away becomes the only option

It’s really draining when one thinks about it. But the reason is, they love and are still in love. They hold on to the good old days with hopes that things will return as they were. Despite the bruises, burns, cuts and emotional torture, they are unwilling to walk away, except after a very long time.

If you ever come across someone abused, best believe they are not going to take your advice about walking away yet until walking away becomes the only option.