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3 min read

There is a common saying that “to be forewarned is to be forearmed.” In saner climes, this saying means just the way it is but unfortunately in our own Nigeria, we need more practicality to the saying.

Covid-19 is a pandemic that affects the entire world. It’s fast spread is an imperative reason to adhere to the instructions about staying indoors because we do not know the best way to prevent ourselves from being susceptible to the ailment.

Read: When God Takes A Nap

Quite a number of States in Nigeria, through their respective governments, have instructed their subjects to practice ‘self-isolation or social-distancing’ for the next couple of weeks, so that the government can contain the spread of the Covid- 19 virus, but it appears that most of the words have fallen on deaf ears.

Recently, in Lagos State, everyone was instructed to stay away from public gatherings like churches, mosques, clubs and the likes, and the reason for this is for no other reason than the fact that people are more exposed to the ailment when they are in such gatherings. 

Covid 19
What in God’s name is this manner of self-isolation/social distancing?
Read: Homosexuality Is Not A Crime

One would think that complete adherence to the instruction will be upheld with the help of religious leaders but unfortunately, we find that even the so-called religious leaders are the ones still inviting their devotees to such public gatherings. 

The question is, “Is wisdom no longer profitable to direct?” or do we need extreme measures like those rumoured in Russia about lions let loose on the streets, waiting for unbending citizens to feast on?

Covid 19
As rumoured in Russia

The Bible admonishes respect for authorities as seen in Romans 13:3 which says “For rulers are not a cause of fear for good behaviour, but for evil. Do you want to have no fear of authority? Do what is good and you will have praise from the same”

Also, Romans 13:12, says  “Therefore whoever resists authority has opposed the ordinance of God, and they who have opposed will receive condemnation upon themselves”. 

Is it safe to say that at this critical time, the religious leaders are defying the provisions of the bible? To curb the spread of Covid-19, we are asked to remain indoors for our own safety, and religious leaders asking devotees to step out for sermons and services as usual only proves that they have no regard for God and his doctrines. Are they encouraging more deaths so that devotees can assume the title of martyrs because I don’t get it?

Covid 19
Churches have resulted in lying to the media and meeting in secrecy.

Time after time, religious leaders have proven themselves to be demi-gods, going contrary to laws set in place by the government. Now that church gatherings are forbidden is it not time to fully utilize preaching via online media? I know a lot of you will say most churches have adopted that line, well speak for yourself! 

Churches have resulted in lying to the media and meeting in secrecy. Does this now mean that rather than value lives and the safety of humans, the Christian leaders are more interested in reaching out to their subjects for stipends that they would get from them? Or how best does one explain the under-utilization of online media platforms at this critical stage it should serve its purpose. Is wisdom no longer profitable to direct? Covid- 19 is real!!!

 

3 min read

It is often said that love is a beautiful thing. However, from time to time, we see that love, and sometimes a relationship is not a good thing.

It is normal to get attracted to a person after intimacy has been built over time, but what is to be said about an abusive relationship?

We all know how crazy it is when we have to get detached from someone that we have been attached to overtime. It feels like a journey to a dead-end which is unfair with life. An abusive relationship is no exception. 

Read Men Not Robots! Why The deficiency?
abusive relationship
You don’t know except you have experienced it

One hit is enough to walk away from him or her, you think? In my opinion, I’ll say “You don’t know except you have experienced it”. Has it ever occurred to you why people come out years after to say their spouse abuses them? Why not early enough right? Especially the sort that is glaring that such a relationship is a no brainer for the victim? 

Love shared between two people is a beautiful thing but when it accompanies an unhealthy form of attachment, it becomes a relationship between a tormentor and its victim. While the abused lives in denial, the tormentor breeds mixed signals. 

Read Domestic Violence! How Many More Johnny Depp’s To Be Uncovered?
abusive relationship
While the abused lives in denial, the tormentor breeds mixed signals.

The tormentor is sometimes cold, other times romantic and then on most occasions pounces on the victim like they are some rat that encroached their privacy. In all these, the abused feels that the relationship is healthy and too good to be left alone. By too good, they hold onto the memories of the good old days, and the mixed signals they are receiving. They resolve to blame games, with the thought of being the reason the abuser is that way. 

In a typical African setting, when the spotlight of abuse is in context, there is this idea of African women enduring abusive marriages, but the big question is, “When there is an option to leave an abusive relationship, why condone so much pain for so long?”

Read: Signs Of An Abusive Relationship 
Abusive Relationship
Until walking away becomes the only option

It’s really draining when one thinks about it. But the reason is, they love and are still in love. They hold on to the good old days with hopes that things will return as they were. Despite the bruises, burns, cuts and emotional torture, they are unwilling to walk away, except after a very long time.

If you ever come across someone abused, best believe they are not going to take your advice about walking away yet until walking away becomes the only option.

 

 

 

 

3 min read

When I came across the preview of “All The Bright Places” on Netflix, I was a bit skeptical because it rubbed off as one of those cliche mushy teenage-romance love stories. I had just returned from a chess training session and I needed to compliment my evening with some good movie and this one won’t stop staring at me. 

So I proceeded with the synopsis. The narrative seemed a bit different from the norm so I decided to give it a shot.

The Brett Haley’s direct follows closely the chronicles of its novel by Jennifer Niven which bears the same name, “All The Bright Places”. It unfolds the story of two young lovers, Theodore Finch, played by American actor Justice Smith and Violet Markey, played by Elle Fanning, famous for her portrayal as Aurora in the Maleficent film series. They both suffer from mental health illnesses caused by traumatic events.

All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven – Two Girls and a Book ...

Read: Addiction Is Not As Straightforward As You Think

Finch was on his daily morning run when he first met Violet who was standing on the edge of a bridge, looking down at the river and ready to jump off. He was able to talk her out of it eventually and going forward, relentlessly committed his time to help her see all the beautiful sides of life again.

Their short-lived love story was a beautiful one with incredible aesthetics and as they struggled with emotional and physical scars of their past, they discovered that even the smallest places and moments can mean something.

The narrative of  All The Bright Places climaxes when the underlying mental health struggles of Finch which he tries so hard to suppress starts to overwhelm him.  What does Violet do to salvage this situation? Can she save him from himself?

Read About Muttering Minds

Morals From All The Bright Places

The screenplay by Jennifer Niven and Liz Hannah had a tragic ending but I loved it.

Sometimes in life, there are no happy endings. It’s a reality we have to come to terms with in relation to the severity of mental health issues in the world today. 

How Netflix's All the Bright Places Tackled Teen Suicide in the ...

All The Bright Places made me realize that a person who is broken has the utmost urge to fix other people rather than himself/herself. People who live with overwhelming struggles like Finch are usually the ones with the most capacity for empathy because not only do they think helping others can distract them from their own struggles, they also know what it’s like to be on the other side.

It is for sure a phenomenal movie with a lot of amazing quotes. It definitely ranks as one of my favorite movies this year already and I would recommend it to avid readers who are drawn to not just something that offers entertainment value alone but something relatable and didactic.

All the Bright Places': Flawed but empathetic look at mental ...

Quotes to remember

“Sometimes you do not have to climb a mountain to stand on top of the world.”

“It’s okay to get lost as long as you find your way back”

“We do not remember days, we remember moments”.

 

 

Click Here To Submit Your Own Movie Review

 

 

4 min read

To commemorate the International Women’s Day celebration yesterday (March 8), more than a majority hopped on the #EachforEqual hashtag, even the ones ignorant about the true meaning.

While the #EachforEqual tag trended on social media, especially Twitter. What got my attention more was Wema Bank’s newsletter which blew some hot steam. A part of it read: “We want more doctorate degree holders whose fathers didn’t question educating a girl child because they fear he won’t uphold his last name anyway. Understandably, we want better. We want more. We want equal.” 

Read: Am I The Only One Who Can’t Stand Kids?

The Deposit Money Bank concluded its letter with a triggering statement which read “But we are the mothers raising patriarchal sons, the bosses who make it difficult for female subordinates, and the friends who won’t speak up when male friends do wrong”

Below the belt? Well not for me. As a lady, the statement made me question the essence of feminism which preaches “equal right for both genders”. But the question is, do feminists actually want equality?

Famous for the #SexForGrades documentary, BBC reporter, Kiki Mordi took to Twitter and responded to Wema Banks newsletter. She tweeted; “So why are you funding the patriarchy? Until we take decisive actions to stop putting our very limited resources into businesses that refuse to be gender-sensitive, we will keep dancing around in circles. #BoycottWemaBank until they apologize to you. Your money is worth respect”

Before now, Kiki Mordi through several tweets and social projects has been tagged as an unapologetic feminist, little wonder why she was able to stir trouble from a supposed harmless tweet. It got me thinking “What exactly do feminist want, equality or superiority?”, I have to ask because the way they get easily triggered is so repulsive.

How do you pounce on a truthful text that reflects the reality of the society we live in? Is the truth that bitter? Women preach feminism yet can’t bear to see the other woman take a step higher than them.  Female bosses continue to make the workspace difficult like they are in a competition of bagging a trophy for the worst boss.

Read: Baby’s Gender! Mere Curiosity Or Culture Oriented?

International Women's Day: 5 feminists on the future of feminism - Vox

You preach feminism when there are still women who indulge their male friends to cause harm or mock a female they don’t like. Like charity begins at home, morals should begin within the female circle first. If you don’t love the woman next to you, If you can’t tell her with confidence and smiles that her speech at the conference was brilliant, if you can’t tell her how gorgeous she looks in that dress, how do you preach feminism when your gender is broken?

Open letter: Feminism isn't just for women - Daily Titan

These women are seeking equality in certain areas whilst oblivious to the rest. If you are seeking equality, you should be able to pay the bills, fix the tyre, secure the house, etc but unfortunately, they only seek equality in the career and social sphere, neglecting the home.

These women seek to be the MD/CEO’s just like the men which are very impressive but what about other areas? I mean, your home!

Referencing what Wema bank said, are mothers training their children to exercise equal rights in the home? Looking at various homes today, although modernized, it’s still the same setting. The boys are allowed to watch TV while the girls are mandated to be in the kitchen because one day they will be married. If equality for both genders will be a reality shouldn’t it like charity, begin at home?

Read: When A Man Finds A Wife; Who Should Be More Thankful?

If we are going to hop on the #eachforequal trend then we must be able to fit into where the men fit into at all levels even paying the bills.

The effects of raising girls and boys differently | The Guardian ...

The truth is, we are created differently with different responsibilities. Even the Bible we reference sometimes does not put the female where the man is supposed to fit in.

As much as we want to be equal, We must not forget the future of the next generation. Are we training them to fight for equality to the detriment of embracing their own unique features? Are we training them to replace good morals with equality?  As we climb the career ladder, the home that forms a nation must never be neglected. #EachforEqual.

3 min read

I seem to relate with people who have an issue with praying often because I have been down that lane too. Reading last Sunday’s post ‘ To The One Who Doesn’t Pray Often, Maybe You Are Like Me Too’,  and also the reactions from a lot of people saying they are in the same shoes, I felt the urge to share my story on how I overcame a very inconsistent prayer life.

“I’m too tired to pray.”

“I don’t really have time.”

“I have to hurry to beat the traffic.” 

These are some of the popular reasons some of us raise as a barrier to praying often. How I dealt with the issue is quite simple and I’d suggest if you too can adopt it. 

The First Step

The first step is knowing who God is, and What he really wants for you as stated in John 3:16, 2 Cor 13:14. Then also knowing that there’s a devil whose Modus operandi has been clear from the beginning (John 10:10).

What does God really want?

One thing the devil enjoys is taking advantage of the Ignorance of Believers. God didn’t just send his Son Jesus Christ to die for our Sins; He sent him so that we can be in union with Him just as Jesus is in Union with Father God. (John 17:21)

God doesn’t have Bad desires for his children. He’s steadfast in his affection towards us and desires only the Best for Us. (Deu 7:9, 3 John 1:2)

The devil doesn’t play fair and all these reasons we all give as excuses for our lack of prayer are cool with Him. He already has you where he wants you. You have become like that Prey. He uses the same strategy the Lions use when they have a band of antelope; they scare them and just wait patiently for one to break out then they focus all their energy on that one. The strategy is Isolation. 

So Satan isolates you from Fellowship so that his plan to destroy you is Faster. 

Read: Praying In Public; Panic Attacks

What is Prayer? 

Prayer is fellowshipping with God in the Name of Jesus. Prayer is Communicating with God. 

It doesn’t have to be too long, five minutes of prayer with wholehearted devotion goes a long way in aligning you with God’s perfect will for your day especially if you’ve been baptized by the Holy Spirit. 

“A Prayerless Christian is a Powerless Christian”,  you might have heard this as well. But guess what it is not true. The essence of the quote is to stress the Importance of Praying. Power comes from the Holy Spirit (Acts 1:8)

So we can rephrase by saying “A Prayerless Christian is not an Effective Christian”.

So if you want to be effective in your work and other things you really want to do, I strongly suggest you create time to Communicate with God. 

Importance Of Meditation 

Let me take you through some scriptures that encouraged me to always meditate, they will be of help to you too…

Joshua  1:8– This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.  

1:9– Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.

Staying your Mind

Isaiah  26:3- Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

If you’d meditate and stay your mind on God; You’d find that you enjoy rich times of Prayer before you head out for work and you’d realize that you’d be successful and confident in your Work. 

I find myself taking out 3-5 minutes while at work to pray as well. It can be quite contagious that once you start you may never want to stop. There’s nothing that’s too small or Big to talk to God about. 

Read: To The One Who Doesn’t Pray Often, Maybe You Are Like Me Too

So the Ball is in your court now. God is willing. His arms are open wide just for You, what are you waiting for? Why not take a few minutes now to talk to him.

If you are reading this and you were able to overcome not praying often in ways different from mine or feel the need to buttress my points further, you can leave a comment too. You never know whose life you’ll touch.

2 min read

There is a common saying that love is a beautiful thing. While that may be true, there are days in our mundane world when we see ugly situations being affiliated with love, and then one is forced to think twice about what it is that is beautiful about love. But on a more serious note, is love really a beautiful thing?

Life, as we all know, is a game of fair and foul. What is foul to someone somewhere is actually fair to someone else, and there is really nothing that one can do about that.

 

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However, just recently, there was this trending video on twitter that got quite a number of reactions from a lot of people. It was a video of a married woman who went on to harass in public, a single lady who was actually enjoying her husband’s joystick.

Personally, my take on the video is, first it was wrong that the woman went all out to harass an unknown person, and from the married woman’s dressing, one can tell why the man had to cheat. A lot of women forget the energy that they invested into the relationship before they married their husbands. That energy goes into oblivion when they become wife, but life goes on, the man in the house would still be attracted to what he sees. Hence the reason to go outside to find what his eyes crave.

infidelity
Side Chic vs Wife; A lot of women forget the energy that they invested into the relationship before they married their husbands.

A lot of people have been saying a lot of things about how wrong it is that a single sister would be sleeping with another woman’s husband, but I beg to differ a little. In life, we all want happiness, and no matter how small it is, we would do almost anything to have that happiness. It won’t be surprising to anyone that some trivial things would bring some people the greatest satisfaction.

Read: Kids Immediately After Marriage, Yes Or No?

A married woman sometimes doesn’t know the value of what she has. If she does, she’ll do anything to keep it. A single sister, on the other hand, doesn’t have the kind of happiness that a married woman has most times. 

Some might say, some marriages are actually unhappy, but the truth is, even being married is a form of happiness, at least in Nigeria. We all know how hard it is these days to find a man that is willing to give you all of the attention that you want.

Read: When Happiness Fades In Your Marriage

What’s a sister to do if all the happiness that she wants in the world is guaranteed her from a man who is married and unsatisfied with his “grandma” wife? I hope you see the picture now?

Before you judge me though, all humans have to be selfish sometimes. Sometimes with love, and sometimes with what makes you happy.

 

2 min read

Sometimes when I see people’s opinions on marriage, love, infidelity and all that relates to a ‘union’, I often wonder how shallow-minded some can be.

So about the trending video on social media of a woman harassing her husband’s mistress in the mall. Well, I’m not dazed, every dick and harry had something to say as usual.

Before anything else, Why should anyone decide to have a romantic affair with a married person?  I really can’t wrap my head around this foul idea. It’s so foul, please!

First, imagine the pressure a lady gets from society to get married at a certain age, then she finds a man and realizes they are compatible and fair to tie the knot. Suddenly after marriage, a different phase of pressure begins. She is forced to constantly trigger her sensual creativity to dance to his tune so he doesn’t look elsewhere. What idiocy!

Nobody has an idea of what these married women go through to ensure sanity in their homes. They go through so much especially emotional trauma, imagine waking up every day knowing you have to always tame an idiot of a husband? Then from nowhere another woman comes in to ruin your marriage and some ignorant he-goat starts preaching to you on how best to react.

Mehn! They are allowed to react whichever way they want to. I saw a lot of comments inciting that instead of the side chic, she should exercise her wrath to her husband. Do you all know if she already did? Do you know how long she has been enduring his cheat game? Is it because there is no video evidence to that effect? 

We were able to see this side because there were eye-witnesses to record. How about the umpteenth time she woke him up in the middle of the night to talk and he didn’t budge? How about the nights she soaked her pillows in tears? How about the last conversation that broke the camels back?

Read: When A Man Finds A Wife…Who Should Be More Thankful?

We react differently to different things. A lot of men are dogs and can they can never be satisfied,  they won’t stop chasing what is under the skirt. If only some women can learn to reject advances from married men though. Well, it takes a certain level of discipline and a good heart but unfortunately not every woman has that. 

Now to the dimwits saying he had every right to cheat on her because she looks every shade of unattractive, get this clear, If dress sense and looks were the bone of contention in marriages, the likes of Cardi B and even the almighty Queen B would not have been cheated on by their husbands, so please spare me. 

Read: Kids Immediately After Marriage, Yes or No?

There is no excuse for cheating. Love is not enough, it takes commitment too. If you are not committed to the one you affirm your love, then there is every possibility you are a full-blown cheat.  

While with the ‘other woman’, before you take off those clothes, the moment they hit the ground, before you reach for a kiss, your mind at these stages must have flashed you several images of your wife. At this moment you know you are about to cheat, if you don’t have the decency to wear your clothes and leave then you are the problem, not your wife! 

Click Here To Submit Your Story

 

 

< 1 min read

Boy meets girl

Boy fancies girl

Boy is alone with girl

For Boy at this moment, this means “enough with this first and second base, can we get to the third base already?”

Now a different girl, let’s call her Girl B, she wants to gauge her man’s affection for her. She turns around in the middle of a completely unrelated gist, looks straight into his eyes and pulls out the powerful phrase “I LOVE YOU”.

Read: There Is A Code Among Men Which Goes…”I Saw Her First”

Man is confused. Like a baby who slept and woke in the arms of a total stranger, he wears a pale look stare at Girl B.

What is it about the phrase I LOVE YOU that makes it so reassuring, weakens strong bones and hardens flaccid boners? Or makes one so shocked and short of words for a response? 

Read: “I Love You, No Homo”

Love means different things to different folks. To some, it means ‘I value you’, to some, fondness, to some it means ‘Take off your clothes already’. Both for sincere and corny reasons, the phrase I LOVE YOU could appear incontestable.

When you say “I LOVE YOU” to someone, what do you mean?

 

2 min read

To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You is a climatic reminder to every guy that girls are always going to break your heart.

In the Michael Fimognari direct, the lead character Lara Jean portrays the typical lifestyle of teenage girls who always have their heads in the clouds and overthink scenarios. You can’t measure up with their fantasies and the sad thing is they categorically explain what it is they are feeling. When a new boy comes along, they begin to feel butterflies but feign it by acting up. 

To All The Boys: P.S. I Still Love You Review | Movie - Empire

It’s no news that girls love being the center of a love triangle but hate to belong to a love triangle where the center is their partner. This what the story by Jenny Hann unravels.

People who have read the book claim that the half Korean, Lara Jean had a lot of reasons to start having second thoughts, and Peter played a huge role in fueling her insecurities.

Click Here To Get Your Story Featured

There are also speculations that in the final movie of the ‘To All The Boys I Loved Before’ series, Lara Jean would want to focus on herself which means she will leave Peter to bite the dust.

However, the moral of the story is that no matter what you do, a girl is still going to leave.

To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You' review: The perfect rom ...

Generally, ‘To All The Boys I Loved Before’ series is apt in its display of resplendent scenes, playlist, and actors assuming roles suitable to their capacity. It is an ideal family watch although with some subtle PG-13 scenes. It’s a good bet for love fanatics and girls and boys in high school because they most definitely will be able to relate to the conflicts and psychological makeup of the actors.

Click Here For More Movie Reviews

 

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3 min read

The loss of a mother especially at a tender age is grieve itself. I lost my mum due to the delay of being attended to in a poorly managed hospital. 

For the first couple of days after her death, I lost touch with my emotions. I looked forward to crying, to grieve and blaming everything around me, but I  couldn’t. All I could do was stare at my brothers and relatives crying.

Maybe I was shy to cry in public or I wanted to be strong for my family, I can’t really tell. I couldn’t feel anything even though it all happened in front of me. 

Read: 10 Lessons My Mother’s Death Taught Me
death
Maybe I was shy to cry in public or I wanted to be strong for my family…

I am my mother‘s only daughter. I felt no one could feel the pain I had to feel. I thought I was the only one who had the right to feel bad because I was really close to her. Watching every other person mourn, I realized everyone had a touch of her in them but for a moment I was bemused as to why they were all crying.

For God’s sake, she was my mother if anyone should be feeling the most pain, it’s me. “What’s with the drama?”…my paranoia kicked. Until I realized it was selfish of me to think that I was the only one that had a relationship with her.

Read: Death Of A Loved One; “The Thought Still Hunts”
death
I was bemused as to why they were all crying

No! she was so sweet, in fact too great to have impacted just one life, mine!

Death is painful. I do not pray for anyone to lose their loved ones especially a mom but if you do you’re allowed to feel bad for a couple of months weeks or maybe years. It took me seven years to get over my mom‘s death but it might be longer for some other person and that’s because people grieve differently but my advice is not to dwell on death but look at the bright side.

Enough about death stories! The question now should be, how did I get over grieving? Just like death tells no one it is coming, no one prays to lose a loved one. To keep death out of my household, I started to lead a spiritual life. There had been instances where I could’ve lost one or more close family member after my mom but the power of God kept us strong.

Read: Eulogies To Our Loved Ones Stung By Death
death
Not to dwell on death but look at the bright side.

I learned to deal with the physical through the spiritual. I wish I knew God better while my mom was alive, I bet she wouldn’t have died. Putting God first in all I do has kept the devil out of my household. 

Looking on the bright side, my mom‘s death has actually done me good. Sometimes I just stare up to the sky and see her face smiling down at me. She is happy that her death drew me closer to God. 

death
Putting God first in all I do has kept the devil out of my household.

If you are currently grieving the death of a loved one or you face it sometime in the future (which is inevitable), you’re allowed to be mad for a bit, cry for a bit, but do not dwell there.

Moving on will be hard but there is always a lesson to learn. Hold on to God, He’s the only one that can pull you out of anything. Hold onto him, he has a lot planned out for you, death shouldn’t be an excuse.