muttering minds

5 min read

While a good number of people hold dearly the factors that define ‘marriage’, which include commitment, growth and staying faithful to the ‘for better or worse’ oath, there is a rigid percentage who hold that marriage should have an expiry date because of the mystery that accompanies change.

The grouping above was influenced by a now-viral tweet which held that “One day, you’ll meet someone who’s more fascinating than your partner, get ready to fight your own self and be content with what you have.”

What’s your biggest fear when it comes to marriage?

“Scary stuff. Marriage is supposed to have an expiry date sha. Just because of situations like this. People evolve and so do their alignments. People also outgrow people. What happens when you outgrow your spouse”… Here! a response to the tweet which stood out for me and got me thinking. 

As a single lady, my biggest fear is finding ‘The One’, walking down the aisle and afterwards my marriage metamorphoses into something I cannot recognize. I perfectly understand the angle both tweeps are leveraging on,  and I’ll break it down in the best way I feel and then leave you to state yours. Fine right?

When it metamorphoses into something you cannot recognize

When Distraction Threatens ‘I DO’

Distractions don’t always look like distractions until they distract you. It is like someone who’s starting to get addicted to a drug, and when you hint them of their excessive use, they maintain they are in control and before you know it, it becomes too late to get out. 

Asides from the perks that come with marriage, it is a union wherein both parties come to an agreement to stay committed, disciplined, and content come what may. Anyone can easily say that they would stay content and fight the urge to misbehave in their marriage but can they really? 

The 'Distracted Boyfriend' Meme Photographer Explains All | WIRED

She is not in the league of the models in the magazine you’ll normally picture whenever you wank, yet you put a ring on it. He is not as intellectual as the men you met before him who equally had some captivating six-packs, yet you said ‘I do’. The irony of specs. So what happens after you are married and you finally come in contact with the model in the magazine and she’s willing to take you on an adventure? To put an icing on the cake, her show of intelligence gets you, she loves your kind of music and seems to get you without having to explain so much, unlike your wife who’s seemingly ‘nagging’. 

Read: When A Man Finds A Wife…Who Should Be More Thankful?

From spending a lot of time with the sexy six-packed gentleman at work, you deviate to having more personal talks like telling him things your husband does that you don’t like. Gradually, you are sinking, from work hours it extends to before bedtime conversations and as mischief loves to play, your husband is caught up in some cosy chats with his fantasy turned reality model.

As mischief loves to play

At this point, denial sets in.  You know full well what’s happening but you think you can handle it. You see, it is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. We are all made of strengths and deficiencies, walking down the aisle does not erase our deficiencies nor does it wield our strength. Be good friends with your spouse. Good friends communicate about everything and anything no matter how silly. If the gentleman keeps calling you after work hours, discuss it! Like the way you tell that fantasy model about different sex styles you relish, let your wife know.

Read The Communication Mistakes Almost Every Couple Makes

Exchanging marital vows is not a repellant to distraction. Distractions are bound to happen, and when it does, two things are involved, it either brings the couple closer, so they can work on the defects in their marriage or it brings an end to the chapter of that marriage.  You will always find someone more fascinating than your spouse, financially, physically or mentally. If you communicate often and truthfully with your spouse, there should be no cause for alarm. 

Communication is key. Be willing

An Expiry Date?

Except for contract marriages, I don’t think anyone who is head over heels in love with their partner would go into marriage with the notion that after several years, it should expire. A lot of people say marriage is scary because they fear ‘change’. 

You see, all things are transitory, likewise human beings. Change is good but equally scary especially when it is not in our favour (especially in a case where the other party is taking giant steps and keeping up becomes exhausting). If you woke up one morning to see that your spouse has altered in behaviour, what measures will you take? Of course, this doesn’t happen overnight, change is like an army of ants trying to build an anthill, little by little, the worker ants dig the subterranean tunnels and in no time it materializes. Suddenly you’re wondering how it came to be. Sometimes even the person who is accused of change doesn’t even know they have changed. Now, this is a topic for another day.

For better and forever!

Like you are not the same person 10 years ago, your partner is not too; marriage does not stop you from changing. It is very possible for partners to outgrow each other, could be financially, sexually, career-wise, preferences or even spiritually. For instance, If presently, you love to have coffee and bread every morning with your wife, chances are that one party will fall out of love for it faster than the other. This shows that even in the tiniest ways, partners can outgrow each other. 

It is impossible but equally tameable to outgrow one’s partner, it doesn’t mean the marriage should come to an end. If there is active listening, communication and love, then marriage should not have an expiry date. 

Don’t you admire loving even when you are old and grey?

If after all these you feel marriage should have an expiry date then the ball is in your court. But I hope it’s not for the sake of starting all over with someone new, that will be some ugly big joke on you because change will always play its role. Here’s what my friend Toyosi said, “irrespective of the fact that some of us had a very strict upbringing and stern parents, we still haven’t tossed them away, rather every year we celebrate them and sing their praises on different social media platforms, we should apply the same to our partners.”

Single or dating? Married or divorced? Let’s talk. How do you handle a distraction? As for marriages having expiry dates, would you say I trashed the topic? 


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4 min read

Everyone wishes they knew tomorrow, some claim they have the gift and a reasonable number, have their optimism fuelled with faith that their tomorrow is bright. The truth is, while we know where we wish to be, we do not know where we will be.

Ever felt so happy at some point that you’re finally getting it right and then you begin to savour the moment but while at it, the light goes off, the rug beneath your feet turns to thick mud, you can barely move your feet. Stuck! Shattered! Not again! Times like these are depressing, you wonder why the good days have a short lifespan and the bad days, the best laugh.

You wonder why the good days have a short lifespan and the bad days, the best laugh.

Deep inside we are all scared. Hardly can I go a day without getting pensive about my future especially with the way my success and failure stories keep castling the baton at their own will.  Will I leave this world a failure? Or will I have the world reckon with notable flags of my achievements even after I am gone? 

Will you forgive yourself if you do not succeed on earth? Before you try to answer the question, what does success mean to you? Have you coined a unique definition of the word for yourself or are you entangled in a merry go round of society’s opinion on what it is and should look like?

Your definition of success?

I realised that it is our idea of success that makes us not appreciate our achievements no matter how little. The idea of the ‘grass is greener on the other side’ and that ‘where we are is not where we are supposed to be’. Maybe we are right, well only God knows. 

Cruising on the best islands in Hawaii, looking dapper on the finest clothes and having oodles of money to afford whatever you want can be your definition of success and that’s perfect. If success means to you happiness, career fulfilment, peace and quiet while raising a family, that’s valid too. My definition of success is a mixture of all these elements. Success to me must have some substantial amount of finance before the other elements come to play. 

What’s the fuss about anyway? I’m gonna die someday.

Whatever our definition of success is, we are working to achieve it. Sometimes the journey gets difficult, I hit rock bottom and I’m tempted to remain there. What’s the fuss about anyway? I’m gonna die someday. Why do I push to achieve a whole lot that won’t go down six feet with me? It is painful. 

In as much as not fighting feels good, I cannot hold still, the next minute I get back up, struggling to keep my head above the water. At every point I lose hope, I reminisce on some peculiar accolades from friends, for all the times they said to me “nice job”, and giggled chin to chin because of how amazingly talented they see me, I find courage. While I pick me up, one of my demons whispers to my mind, “what if they said all those to make you happy? You are not as talented as you think”. Do I rebuke the demon or accept her words? Well, it all depends on what day it is.

Once it shows up, it replicates itself into many terrifying scenarios that feast on your mind.

The thoughts of failure are like vultures preying on a carcass. One perches first then the others begin to assemble one after the other until they fill the place tearing it apart. They’re ugly, aggressive, and have pretty rotten feeding habits. Just like the thoughts of failure, once it shows up, it replicates itself into many terrifying scenarios that feast on your mind.  

We all want to be successful but the truth is, not all of us will be. Yes, the sky is big enough for everyone to fly but first, look within you. Can you fly? If yes, what is the size of your wings? Are your wings punctured or built up? One bitter truth is, you might get all these right and still not make it. Life is a mystery, if not for anything, I wish I knew tomorrow. 

Will you forgive yourself if you do not succeed on earth?


4 min read

No matter how incorrigible you’ve been since elementary down to high school, college life must have an influence on you (could be positive or negative). This truth is painted vividly in Jude Okwudiafor Johnson’s ‘Freshman Year’, a faith-based film centred on the main character CJ, a young man born into a Christian family. His Father Chukwuma is a Nigerian and revered man of God while his mum Veronica, a legal expert and a respectable woman of British descent. 

CJ leaves home for the first time to college and crosses path with a Latino, Marcella. Torn between staying faithful to his doctrine and the perks of college life, he makes a huge mistake that changes his life and questions every virtue his father has inculcated in him.

Freshman Year

Why You Should Watch  FreshMan Year

If you are not a parent yet, you most definitely are someone’s brother or sister, friend, girlfriend or boyfriend. The story written by Jude Okwudiafor Johnson and Toby Osborne definitely had everyone in mind.

Freshman Year seizes the opportunity to change the narrative of cliché reactions triggered by immorality or unforeseen mistakes in society. Here’s how it appeals to you in whichever category you fall under.

To Parents:

How true is it that if you train up a child in the way he should go, he will never depart from it even when he’s old?  A lot of Parents, especially religiously inclined ones are sunk in the delusion that their children will grow up  the way they taught them to be. While this might work out well from toddler to teenage age, adulthood might be threatening.

Chukwuma couldn’t hide his displeasure the moment his son, CJ broke the news that he got a girl (Marcella) pregnant. In such little space of leaving home, his son had committed a crime that made him question his relationship with God and biblical teachings. Despite all odds, he allows love to lead.

Toby Osborne on Twitter: "World premiere this Friday ...

Examining the roles played by CJ’s parents and Marcella’s mum, I urge every Parent to watch “Freshman Year”.  A child’s deviation from the parents teaching does not always mean he/she has not been listening the whole time. It’s either posed by a mistake or peer pressure. Peer pressure has a strong grip especially for children who were trained to always stay indoors. The moment the child takes a peek at the outer world with little or no supervision, he/she is bound to explore the other side of the coin.

Among all the characters who played the role of a parent, I loved Chukwuma more. His reaction changed the entire cause of the movie from what I thought it would be. His derivation from the whole scenario that God was trying to teach him balance is the reality of how many men of God live their lives. The majority are entangled in the duty of fixing other people’s homes while a deep hole engulfs their household.

Download Freshman Year (2019) YIFY HD Torrent -

To The Boyfriend Or Girlfriend:

The day you decide to start having premarital sex should be the day you decide to be ready for whatever consequences. My heart kept racing for CJ the moment he decided to father the child instead of an abortion. What will he say to his father knowing he had spent all his life ensuring he grows up to be a good man? Only 2 out of 10 boyfriends will think in that direction. CJ allowed love to lead and stuck to his beliefs about the bible being against abortion. Even though he deviated from biblical teachings at some point, he understood the efficacy as he retraced his steps.

Freshman Year | Netflix

To The Brother or Sister:

No two children are the same, even if born of the same parent. Watching Freshman Year, I learnt the importance of why siblings need to be friends, possibly best friends.  Training children from a tender age to eat together, play together, pray together etc. creates a good bond. It helps manage unforeseen circumstances that could bring disunity in the future. Comparing CJ’s home to Marcella’s, it’s easy to spot the difference. CJ being an exemplary brother made it easy for his siblings to accommodate his shortcomings. Hector, on the other hand, is more of a bully figure than a brother to Marcella, he acted very irrationally on getting the news of her pregnancy.

Freshman Year Teaser Trailer (2019) - YouTube

To The Friend:

The word ‘Friendship’ is ineffective if ‘Good’ is missing. There is more to friendship  than gossip. Kudos to Marcella and CJ’s friends for offering the needed support when it came calling. Freshman Year will open your eyes on how to become a better friend, I guarantee.  

Freshman Year Movie Trailer - Now Playing (HD) - YouTube

And That’s A Wrap:

There is usually great shock and excessive disappointment every time a parent uncovers that their child has fallen off the wagon. It’s a scar that may never fade; it’s a scar that amassed so much weight to crumble all the repute they’ve built in years past. Is it the child’s fault, or the fault of the parent who for so long wallowed blindly in the delusion that only their choices and doctrines matter? I enjoyed watching Freshman Year and I bet you would too. What I love most is its beauty in flipping the narrative about the usual reactions. The movie above all preaches love, family, the beauty of calm and patience and above all when God teaches balance. Its angle to Christianity is outstanding.



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2 min read

Five years ago, the world of film and entertainment witnessed the debut of what is now revered as a world-class legal thriller series, ‘How To Get Away With Murder. A mouth-watering series which aped up the ladder to become the quintessence of a suspense film.

Created by Peter Nowalk and produced by Shonda Rhimes and ABC Studios, the series lays on thick six seasons while anticipating a curtain close in less than two months. Such sad news. If you are a die-hard fan of How To Get Away With Murder, I’m sure it will be tough for you to say goodbye like me. I mean, where’s the good in goodbye in all of this? Definitely missing!

Read: Six Nerve Racking Questions From HTGAWM

How to Get Away with Murder: Wes Is Alive, Asher Is Dead | TV Guide

Felt like an eternity waiting for April 2nd but good gracious, it is only one day from now before we resume flooding social media platforms and blogs with the hashtags #HTGAWM #HTGAWMfinale, #TGIT and more.

How To Get Away With Murder stars Viola Davis as Annalise Keating, Liza Weil as Bonnie Winterbottom, Aja Naomi King as Michaela Pratt, Matt McGorry as Asher Millstone, Karla Souza as Laurel Castillo, Jack Falahee as Connor Walsh, Charlie Weber as Frank Delfino and Alfred Enoch as Wes Gibbins.

Read: Who Killed Annalise
how to get away with murder
How is Wes Gibbins still alive? We saw his body burn right?

Here are ten crucial questions fans are itching to get a grip of;

  • How is Wes Gibbins still alive? We saw his body burn right?
  • Who killed Annalise?  Is she really dead or a ploy to run away from the law?
  • Who helped Laurel disappear? 
  • Who Killed Asher?
  • Will the rest of the Keating five including Bonnie and Frank go down for the recurrent murders?
  • Where is Laurel’s mom?
  • Will Vivian Maddox give the FBI enough information to prosecute Annalise?
  • Will Michaela and Connor betray Annalise?  
  • Will the Castillos working together with Governor Birkhead have the last laugh?
  • What has Gabriel Maddox got up his sleeve?


I’m sure there are more questions you’ve got too. Six more episodes to go before we say our byes, but the big question is what does the end of How To Get Away With Murder hold for fans? Will Shonda Rhimes and  Peter Nowalk apply the much needed sharp-wit in leaving no stone unturned or get us crying over spilt milk?



5 min read

I bet there is a wilful spirit that takes over us the moment we are warned to adhere strictly to a rule, we find ourselves trespassing. I cannot get myself to stop touching my face and lips and this started after getting sensitized about the coronavirus disease; my fingers have suddenly found themselves a new playground, MY FACE! Arrrghhhh!

I used to think incessant political news pissed me off but the COVID- 19 tumult really gets my goat. Barely would you look anywhere without getting a nudge that the virus is alive and well. I commend the whole sensitization especially on social media but then it seems like the thin line segregating ‘caution’ and ‘fear’ is being breached. I understand the statistics of infected persons move by an upward trajectory daily and we need to be informed but in all these, fear instead of caution has clinched the apex of the pyramid. The BC’s are getting scary daily, can I not receive anymore pleaseeeeee.

Are you also scared?  It’s almost as though I am starting to suffer the placebo effect of COVID-19. This moment I am sniffing, sometimes sneezing and then my nostrils drip. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I’m like “Covid is that you?” I bet my body knows I am scared so it seizes the moment to play tricks.

Not about to give you any inspirational talk about not being scared because I can assure you I won’t sound convincing. But since we’ve been asked to stay indoors to prevent widespread, I will just talk to you on the bright side of indulging it.


Compulsory Leave and a Break from Smiling At Ugly Faces:

Brace up! You won’t be seeing some ugly faces like that of your boss for the next 14 days at least. Heard some bosses are still headstrong at granting the compulsory leave though but now is not the time to play Martin Luther, instead play the same card like the pussy cat that disappeared in our nursery rhyme. 

I assure you, within these 14 days, you will sleep and eat right, put on some weight and most importantly not have to fake greet ugly faces every morning (like your HR). Imagine 14 days free from the harassment of submitting weekly targets and reports, sweet right? 

 COVID- 19
The bright sides of working from home

Unleash the Tik Tok/Thriller Demon: 

You promised your boss you’ll be working from home but there you are perfecting how to use Tik Tok and Thriller app.  Well if it will make you sit at home, I’m in full support. Twerk it girl! Flip the switch all you want but be rest assured baby is not coming to give you something new because ooo social distancing is no joke. But what happens after 14 days when you are asked to submit a report? Those videos better be the panacea.

Are you in Debts like Me?

Well if you are then it is good news. Here’s what I planned to do…at this point whoever you owe is scared of coming out to grab you by your chest. If they are bold enough to ask why they haven’t gotten any alert, blame it on sister Covid. And guess what, after the death of the virus, you can still buy more time to pay up. Tell them your boss has not been paying because there’s been no work. Hollop! I hope it is not a colleague you owe because the efficacy of this lie won’t see the light of the day.


Why Are You Shouting?

I almost gave a man a hot knock on his head when I went to the bank yesterday. Nigga was making a call but he won’t keep his voice low, opened his mouth wide like he was about to render a national speech. Asides that it is a banking hall, COVID- 19 is real, keep your voice low or I shoot you. Although I read that the virus is unable to travel beyond one meter but I bet if he is a carrier, he will infect everyone because his voice carried the weight of a ballistic missile. Keep your voices low fam!


The End of the Road:

In no time, I strongly believe it will be the end of the road for the virus, but right now we must do our best to secure this one life we got. Or you got spare? The sacrifices might be hard but they are doable. You see those battling the virus at the ICU were once like you and me, they probably said “Covid got nothing on me, I am always lucky,” But look where they are now.

Read: To The One Who Doesn’t Pray Often, Here’s How I Overcame

Do you still adhere to your unhygienic lifestyle? Have you been immersed in the ritual of washing your hands possibly twenty times a day? I won’t lie, that shit is difficult but right now the fear of COVID- 19 is the beginning of wisdom. As much as you’re treading with caution, do it right. Is your face mask dirty? Please do the needful by replacing otherwise your pursuit of protection might just be your doom.

There will be several parties to attend, more people to visit, lips to kiss and bodies to cuddle but right now, you have only one duty, SIT AT HOME!!!

A word enough for the wise. Special warning to my friends, if I heard you caught the virus, best believe I won’t visit you in the sick ward. If you survive, praise God, I will be glad to take up the title of a bad friend because I know you won’t hesitate to scream it. If sadly you die from the virus, then I will say my farewell from the confines of my home. Offended? Wait until I get to heaven then we can settle the rift, that’s if you make it there. A stubborn fly follows the corpse to the grave, SIT AT HOME!!!!

Read: Is Death An Open Sesame?
Bored young african american man use phone lazy sit on sofa in ...
Bored? SIT AT HOME!!!!

Perhaps I didn’t state enough of the bright sides of sitting at home, well you can help too. Asides from Netflix and Chill (which is the most common), how and most importantly why have you been holding up. Let’s engage in the comment section.


3 min read

I find it difficult to express excitement most times, and a lot of folks perceive it the wrong way. 

I am not the type who out of excitement would scream your name with a joy-filled smile, run a hundred miles just to give you a big hug because we haven’t seen each other in a long time. As a matter of fact, I have tried practicing this routine but my body won’t just cooperate. But does this mean I am not happy to see you? Of course not!

Despite the face, still happy to see you.

It is a personality trait. I am sure there is a handful like me out there who find it difficult channeling the joy we feel in our hearts to our faces. By default, my facial expression is usually ‘Numb’ and the flip side is when I am eventually able to channel that smile from my heart to my face, folks see it as pretense because I hardly do so. “Wow! so you can smile?”…Hello! Of course, I can. If only they knew how much work I put in to make the smile come alive. I do not know who offended who or what happened but something tells me my heart and face are at war because they never enjoy working together. Tragic!

I also get a hard time showing my joy when I am given a gift. I love gifts, lowkey I expect a secret Santa blessing me with gifts every day but my face would always betray me. “Common baby smile, show you are grateful cause you really are”… this is me trying to cajole me into smiling. Most times if my face does not cooperate,  I force it, I force that scream even though while at it my conscience pricks me saying “You know this is not you, shouting is not your style”. To hell with my style! It is really important to show that I really love my gift and that I am not an ungrateful goat and of course I want more gifts.

Me trying hard to smile to prove I’m not an ungrateful goat!

The world should cut people like me some slack, we are very happy people, trust us! Lack of smiles is just a deficiency on our path, maybe we will heal, maybe we never will. If I say a simple “Thank you”  to you and my face doesn’t accompany it with a fat smile, do not take it to heart. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it OK. Likewise, if you come visiting and my manner of welcome is not what you expect, it has nothing to do with you OK, I would not invite you if I didn’t want you around, capish? But hollop! This doesn’t give you the right to extend your welcome.

Read: Signs You Have A Chronic Resting Bitch Face
Chart showing how excited I can be on a scale of 1 to 10

Some people call it a resting bitch face, oh well, at least it has a name, perhaps a cure to come soon. I talk about it sarcastically doesn’t mean I like it. It bothers me and makes me too aware of myself and that’s one thing I hate to be. Anyone like me out there? Do you struggle to smile? Does your face look like you’re in pain even when you are happy? When you smile, does it appear like that of a serial killer or psycho?



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5 min read

“If I give you my all would you love me? Well, probably not because that goodbye kiss tasted like something that came out from the devil’s lips”. 

I once said to my heart, “take me back to my first heartbreak will you?” It said no, for the memory like the night, is dark and full of terrors. But guess what, without a hitch, renowned Nigerian poet and spoken word artist, Banji Coker, brought back those memories with his latest EP ‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot me!’

What can you say about your first heartbreak? For some, it was the death of a loved one, and some the disappearance of true love from their lives.

Read: Addiction Is Not As Straightforward As You Think

Banji Coker’s ‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot Me’, capitalizes on the innocence of true love and the betrayal of love. He narrates his first heartbreak and the baggage it comes with. Is there a possibility of finding love again in the future? From his tone, we can see that the baggage is so heavy and it will take a lot of weight to pull it down. 

The Life of A Broken Heart 

Especially if it’s your first, heartbreaks triggered by lost love takes a long time to get replenished and Coker’s EP hit these areas in a subtle but piercing manner. 

Look in retrospect, see through all the love you’ve entertained your whole life, there is always that one person who leaves you not only heartbroken but makes you question your esteem. Why did they go away? Was I not good enough? Who are they smiling with right now? Could I not have made her happy enough to stay?

If you see me liking a girl, shoot me
Because that goodbye kiss tasted like something that came out from the devil’s lips.

‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot Me’ paints Coker as a total failure at love and worst off, a rookie in getting over it. This is also the story of most of us who for every time we remember, a part of us dies. In his case, Coker cannot remember to forget the parting kiss.

He is hurt and desperately looking for a remedy. “…because I have been going around in cycles trying to figure out what exactly is the right thing to do…”

How do Broken Hearts Heal?

Do broken hearts heal? Well, I can’t really say, maybe for some and that’s after a very long time. For the better half, it metamorphoses into a variety of phobia especially at finding love again.

Coker Voyages a web of delusion. He finds himself comparing a prospective love affair to his past, while unable to wake up to the reality that his lover has gone.

“With the little space between your teeth, you reminded me of someone I fail at forgetting. Then, with that awkward smile after, I knew you were a no go area”. Follow... | Dark skin ...

Many of us walk the same path as Coker. One heartbreak and we shut the doors completely. If we let in, we don’t let in completely, paranoia becomes the other of the day. 

It’s always a tough one for our new significant other. They keep wondering where they have gone wrong and sometimes get their self-esteem trampled on in trying to love us.

My Five Cents: Rebounds do not work. If you are not ready to love again then be like Coker, make it a no-go area. He said “…You would think we would be so in sync but then again I can’t forget my history. I owe my heart such responsibility.” Love yourself enough to heal first before taking a step with love again. 

Love is beautiful but never force a person to love you, if you see that they aren’t completely over their ex, allow them be. Don’t promise them love because you’ll end up nursing a baggage too heavy for your hands to carry.

Read: About Muttering Minds
Friends Who Become Lovers. Does It Ever Last? - P.S. I Love You
Love is beautiful but never force a person to love you

Curtains Close

Even though love is preached as kind, patience, and sacrifice, you must also bear in mind that it is at every corner waiting to embarrass you if given the chance.

‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot Me’ is a nostalgic smudge for anyone who has experienced true love and heartbreak. 

Remember those nights when you had no one to call because explaining the situation does not do justice to how your entire being feels? 

Remember those days when you hoped your phone rang and it will be their name on display?

Did you forget so soon the times you couldn’t eat but the only strength running was used to power those tears that trickled down your cheek?

Light Sleepers vs. Heavy Sleepers | Everyday Health
Remember those nights…

Recall the times you fondled your pillow and ran your legs across the bed begging sleep to sweep you off your feet? But it won’t? 

If you remember all these or at least one, free your mind, allow Coker take you on this journey of love and hurt. Hearty Cheers to those who have healed. Breathe! for solace is coming for you too seeking healing.

Click here to listen to Coker’s ‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot Me’. For Deezer,  Click here!


Note: It’s a four-part EP. This review is for one part alone, an appetizer to make you long for the rest of it. I’ll await your feedback. 


3 min read

I like to go to a new environment with a clean slate. I am not a fan of having friends go to some particular environments with me or me having to familiarize myself with an old acquaintance in a new environment. I love it all brand new.

So I thought I got it all covered when I enrolled in a gym quite a distance from my house. It’s always been a good ride though, knowing you get to flow with people who don’t even know jack about you and you too knowing zilch about them.

Read: About Muttering Minds

I have been enjoying the flow at the gym until recently when I found out a guy there happens to know one of my dad’s old workers (sacked). Being in tune with the character of the ex-worker, I tried not to familiarize myself with the guy in that area especially because I was trying to avoid gossip.

But can you imagine what happened today *hard face*… I was enjoying the moment digging deep on some heavy squats only for the guy to look me in the eye and say… “You! I heard that you are a silent killer.” Excuse you!!  Did you just say that to me? I queried in my mind.

To salvage the almost tensed up mood, I responded with a fake smile and asked: “From who?” He said I shouldn’t worry that he’s doing some investigations about me. Wow! I have never received such a stupid response from anyone in a long time. I leave the gym daily without thinking of you, but your case is different, you leave and investigate me on a daily right?

Read: Stupid Things Just To Get ‘Her’ Attention

I ignored him completely… O not completely per se,  all the while I kept on with the squats, all I could think of was that his source was none other than the recalcitrant ex-worker. It has to be him, such a loose who talks like he’s about to win a trophy for it.

Who knows what other information he must have fed the guy with. Imagine someone I haven’t had a well-rounded one-minute conversation with having the impression that I am a silent killer. So ridiculous.

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Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Hey Mutual! Take A Chill Pill

Mutual connections/friends freak me out. Do you know me from high school or college? Privileged to work in the same office? Take a chill pill.

The girl you knew in high school who used to wet the bed no longer does. Why narrate the tale to co-workers on how she was disgraced?

Read: Wait! Have You Met Their Other Close Friends Yet?
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What happens in high school stays in high school

The boy who was expelled in high school for having sex with a girl after night-prep is perhaps older and wiser now. Stop denting his name at work.

You will agree with me that our years in high school were the most adventurous formative stage of our childhood. We did much silly rubbish but thank God we are wiser now (I like to believe more than half of us are).

I get very unsteady anytime I bump into someone mutually connected in an unfamiliar environment especially the ones from high school. In split seconds my brain begins to joggle tons of questions. What is she doing here? Does she know anyone I know? I hope we don’t exchange numbers because I am not meeting up!

Dear Seekers, Know This!

You are very wrong if you entertain tales like this. Yes, I understand some individuals enjoy feeding people’s heads with ideas about other people or with excavated past results, but some of you push for it. 

The moment you hear“I know this chic, we attended the same high school”, your antennas grow wings. “Oh really, what about her? Gist me o”, you keep bugging until you get what you want. 

Like hellooooo…!! If you feel the need to know someone better,  why meet them from another person’s point of view? Some of you even after meeting a new friend, instead of being patient with the person and nurturing the friendship,  you assume the role of undercover agents. You go about asking people/close parties questions like…“how is she”“how does she behave”“Is she seeing anyone?” and so many other irrelevant questions. Stop It!



2 min read

Last midnight, a friend called me, she sounded so frantic with her voice drowning in tears. She said her younger brother who relocated abroad sometime last year is likely to get deported back to Nigeria because of the possession of hard drugs. 

I tried to pacify her the best way I could, urging her to be optimistic, hopefully, he won’t be deported. But she went on with the grumblings and then, she uttered a statement that threw me off balance. “This is such a disgrace to my family, where do we begin?” 

Read: Am I The Only One Who Can’t Stand Kids?

Worrying too much can kill you' | The Guardian Nigeria News ...

“Wow!  Like where do you begin?  How? I don’t understand what you mean”, I queried. Then I asked her “Are you worried about disgrace or concerned for morality?” then viola! My beloved girlfriend went mute. 

Many times we are angry at bad behaviors exhibited by family members or friends for selfish reasons. We don’t even care about the moral implications of what happened, all we see is the disgrace brought upon us. We give no hoot about tracking the foundation of the problem, why they acted unrulily, and if we can help them overcome the situation.

Read: Parents Are The Best Pretenders
“Don’t even think of disgracing this family, Don’t! If not I will disown you”

It’s typical, especially for African parents to nag their kids as a forewarning not to indulge in bad behavior. “Don’t even think of disgracing this family, Don’t! If not I will disown you”. Aren’t we supposed to analyze bad occurrences using morality as a yardstick? The truth is nobody plans to bring shame to their loved ones. Mistakes occur under circumstances we wish we can avert, but it’s unfortunate we can’t.

Nine out of ten parents will go bonkers on hearing the news that their teenage daughter is pregnant out of wedlock, or their teenage son impregnates a fellow teen. Their anger is usually centered on  “What will people say, how will they begin to view this family” Instead of “My son/daughter has gone wrong, how can I instill some morals so it doesn’t repeat itself”

Read: Betrayal From Loved Ones! Is Shame Always A Factor?

It is far more glorious to tell the defaulter the moral implication of what they have done and going forward, how they can be better. The deed is done already. Feeling annoyed that your reputation has been trampled upon will only get the offender to move by without remorse and if they get the chance, they’ll do it again.


3 min read

When I heard a movie rose to a crescendo by bagging four awards at the Oscars this year, I knew I needed to have that movie on my big screen, making a hit with my eyes and mind as well.

Parasite! Yes, that is it! the gut-twisting comedy thriller directed by  Bong Joon-ho tours the train of thought amid the poor and how desperate times can trigger disjointed measures. 

Mere taking the movie title for face value, one would think that its one of those alien invasions or virus movies, but it’s not. Like in plain terms, the word parasite refers to an organism that lives in or on an organism of another species (its host) and benefits by deriving nutrients at the other’s expense. Now relate this to the human setting.

Movie Poster of the Week: The Posters of “Parasite” in 2020 ...

Brief Plot

Co-written by Han Jin-won, Parasite is a film about two families, both a far cry away from each other in the social-economic sphere, the rich and the poor. The rich play a subliminal host and the poor in perfected deceit play the parasite. What happens when the parasite discovers there is another parasite feasting on its host? Will they cooperate or allow greed to finetune their fate?

The poor family is referred to as the Kim family. They comprise of the father Ki-taek, mother Chung-sook, daughter Ki-jung and son Ki-woo. The four struggle to make ends meet through a shallow paying part-time pizza box folders job done in their small apartment situated in the impoverished part of the city. 

Luck smiles on the son Ki-woo, who with the help of a friend is found worthy to tutor the rich, Mr. and Mrs. Parks daughter, Park Da-hye. To cut the long story short, he manipulates the home and paves way for the rest of his family members through ulterior and hoodwinking routes.  


Pointers/ Lessons

As usual, no spoilers but more than enough pointers indicating why you should watch Parasite.

  • A Clear View of Capitalism: Parasite’s storyline goes beyond just telling a story for the sake of making a film. It’s brilliant narrative centers on the practice of capitalism in South Korean culture. It depicts the wealth gap and financial limitations in a clear-cut sensitive way that makes it relatable to anyone watching no matter where they hail from.
  • Being Poor Is Not A Prerequisite For Humility: Just like not all heroes wear capes, not every poor person you see is humble. If you think that because a poor man has nothing, he will be at your beck and call then you might need to watch your back. Yes, he might actually give his all to serve you just to get food on his table; his hidden intentions might be a bitter pill to swallow. A similar case is the Kim family, take a look at how without remorse, they eliminated everyone who stood in their way just to secure a premium spot in the Parks house. And the Parks couldn’t smell the coffee because they were blinded by their feign humility.
  • Greed Is Not A Financial Issue. It’s A Heart Issue: Familiar with the popular saying ‘When a man has money, his true colors start to show’, this resonates with Kim family. Their case can be likened to someone having a taste of honey from a jar which is not theirs and then not wanting anyone else to have a taste even if the owner of the jar would not mind. Kim family and the ex-house keeper Moon-gwang and her husband could have lived peacefully in the same house but they chose to indulge in a senseless fight which resulted in a tragedy. It just goes to show that greed is not a financial issue but a heart issue. Both families already have their minds polluted with greed that no matter the convenience they got, it will not be enough.



Parasite is a movie whose scenes stick in your head after watching it. It is a blend of laudable directing, exemplary story writing, skilled acting from the cast, and astounding cinematography.

It won four awards at the 2020 Oscars for Best Picture, Best Director, Best Original Screenplay and Best International Feature Film. It also became the first South Korean film to receive an Academy Award for Best Picture. Its achievements are so many feathers in Bong Joon-ho’s cap.

You can’t afford bath breaks while watching Parasite because of its metaphorical written script, directing and production. You snooze, you lose! But that won’t happen because the intriguing scenes from stage one down to the surreal experience from the middle till the end will get you sunk in connection. In short, it’s a stroke of genius!


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