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Rare Insecurities: Embracing the Bald Curse

Writer- Oluwamuyiwa Aikomo
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5 min read

Reading the post about the Slim Curse was hilarious and also thought-provoking. As I read Doris’ rant and the other comments (mostly ladies), it got me thinking, if these ladies can be so sensitive about their weight, what will happen if they’ve got a more obvious ‘physical setback’?

I knew I was destined to be bald; my dad is bald, my brothers are bald, even my six-month-old picture clearly shows my receding hairline, what I never knew was that I’d go bald in my early 20’s.

Read: Male Pattern Baldness

It all started with a few extra hairs during my third year in the university and while my friends made a joke out of every haircut I had on, I clung to my remaining hair and did what I could do to avoid the inevitable. Little did I know I was digging up my own grave with my frequent haircuts until I hit a wall; I couldn’t cover it up anymore. It became obvious to everyone around me and I was left with two options: Accept the situation or Continue deceiving myself.

bald
I clung to my remaining hair and did what I could do to avoid the inevitable

You know that feeling of being scared or nervous about something, how bad it messes with your head that you begin to picture yourself in different situations around it, or see things or people that remind you about it. I close my eyes, and I see a ‘bald me’, I’m walking on the road, I see a bald man and even while watching TV, a bald man must show up on my display. All because my bald look couldn’t wait to switch positions with my receding hairlines. That kinda power must change hands setting lol.😕

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If my friends could shun pity and mock my receding hairlines at every opportunity, it would be an open party for mockery if I decided to lay off the remaining hair down, knowing that the chances are only two percent that it will grow back. This was me trying to debate my way out of it. And the ladies? How do I toast them without my half baked mohawk or malnourished low cut?

The Big Leap

One wet evening after my NYSC, I strolled into my longtime barbershop and told him to take it all off. With the clipper on the lowest setting, I watched as my remaining hair fell to the ground, and my barber grinning through the cut; it was like a mission accomplished for him. While he kept grazing my hair field with his clipper, all I could think of were a thousand and one ways to welcome my new look.

Tada! He was done. I could barely recognize myself, it felt even more ridiculous after running my fingers across my head.

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Surprisingly, my family and genuine friends complimented the new look although within me I wished I could still rock hairstyles like frohawk with unique designs, low cut with waves, large afro, or medium curls. 

No hair means more caps. I became 5 &6 with face caps to hide my young bald look but as days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years, I garnered some lessons I’ll love to share;

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  • Nobody Cares: Absolutely no one! My biggest fears at the initial stage was what people were going to think of me being bald at a young age. “Will people make fun of me?”, “Will I still look attractive?”, “Will people think I look weird?” etc. But then an epiphany struck me; ‘How does my baldness affect them anyway?’…I looked around and searched through my mind, absolutely no connection whatsoever. Yes, I got a couple of teasing comments but most people either extremely complimented it or completely ignored it. As soon as I took the leap and accepted my fate, my insecurities faded into oblivion. It made me more confident and care less about people’s opinions.
  • People Automatically Think I Am ‘Hard’:  Since I embraced my baldness, I have experienced subtle shifts in my relationships with people. People began to create more time for me, older folks began to put some respect on my name and younger folks tagged me as an “alpha male”, which in this regard, is the polar opposite of the comb-over.
Bald
Folks began to put some respect on my name and younger folks tagged me as an “alpha male”.
  • I Look More Attractive: Embracing my bald curse unmasked my attractiveness. I won’t even talk about the ladies frolicking because of my zaddy look🌚. However, the point here is the shift the change has made in my personality; I have moved from constantly worrying about my lack of hair to not just caring and in my opinion, one of the greatest attractive quality anyone can ask for is self-assurance – so rock that bald head, baldie👨‍🦲.

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  • Trying to Reverse it is Completely a Waste of Money: Even though I never tried to reverse it, friends and acquaintances suggested I try all sorts of things to grow my hair. Some even went as far as citing hair surgeries but my response to them was always; ‘I no dey do (not interested)’. For a fact, most people who sell these hair remedies are not doctors; they are private companies and only have their profits at heart, so once you buy, you are at the risk of hurting your pockets and enriching theirs.
bald
Bald ladies look yummy

Not that I am that nice😒,  but I was moved to share this with Mutterers so that whoever felt insecure about anything concerning their body can scoop some silver lining from my story😉. Some part of me is also curious to know if ladies find bald guys attractive and their impression of bald guys. And as for the baldies reading this, (both male and female) how market? You know we’re the baddest kids on block right?! If you don’t mind sharing your own experience too you know 😆😆

 

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Wana
Wana
4 months ago

I never thought receding hairline was an insecurity men had. Wow. Anyways, bald guys are sexy asf in my perspective. Dear writer, thanks for sharing.

Ezeugo 1
Ezeugo 1
4 months ago
Reply to  Wana

Receding hairline is a big insecurity for guys….

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  Wana

It is for most men especially when they are at the peak of their lives.

🌚🌚 sexy… some look yummy too 🤭

Rome
Rome
4 months ago

I have a female friend whose fetish is a guy who us bald and stammers . Get one of this and she likes you whole heartedly . Combine both and she is goshing over you . Can give you anything .

Ezeugo 1
Ezeugo 1
4 months ago

This reminded me of my brother’s tears for his partial bald hair….. But if you leave your beards well groomed and you dress neatly and nicely with a fat pocket, my brother you’re good to go. Them ladies go dey flock around.

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  Ezeugo 1

Now I am thinking what if someone is bald and without beards 🤢🤢… double jeopardy??

Whats that song Davido sang again?? Owonikoko right? 🤣🤣

Obi
Obi
4 months ago

Once rocked the bald look back in school days., use to travel alot & do business for my old man. Certainly, it made people take me more seriously but I’m now back to low cut. There’s nothing wrong with skin cut. Love it!

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  Obi

You know it’s one thing to be able to switch styles at will and a whole different ball game to be stuck with only one choice 😃😃.

Regardless, baldies rock! Welcome Obi, good to have you here 😄

Siya
Siya
4 months ago

Ola baldie 😂 I’m Siya and yes I’m in my mid-tweinties and balding. Started in my teens. I was always insecure about my receding hairline and it really gets to you with such an influx of hairstyles coming in. Self-acceptance was one thing I struggled with a lot. I realised that self-acceptance subsits self-esteem. It’s embracing all facets about yourself not only the good but also the bad. To accept change. There’s no one who doesn’t have insecurities. We all do and this is my portion. I had to ask myself, would recovering my hairline make me happy? Definitely not.… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  Siya

Your comment is so insightful. Our problems are endless all that matters is choosing the way we are and loving it.

Welcome Siya! Cheers to more caps and beanies🥂🍻

Bubu
Bubu
4 months ago

I love this post! It would help a broader sphere of individuals accept parts of their bodies they are yet to. At the end of the day the major thing is how you see yourself and that’s why self acceptance and self love is very essential.

Ps: Baldies are sexy AF! Imagine rubbing lavender oil on your Bae’s head and then planting kisses on his neck and temple. 🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️ Let me stop here before Uju comes for me 🤣

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  Bubu

You had to enter gear two 🤣🤣🤣🤣… we haven’t even perfected using groundnut oil and you are suggesting Lavender 🤣🤣

I agree with you, the post did lift a burden off me.

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[…] the writers are usually in the title area. That’s how someone sent me a DM on Twitter asking if I am bald😒. No please🤨, that’s not my story. If you need to share a story for possible feature, CLICK […]

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