Ad
MUTTERERS CLUB

The Thing About Breakups We’ll Never Admit…My Story!

Writer- Damilola
Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr
9 min read

I like to believe everyone has a romantic love story to share and the crash that came knocking afterward. Good for you if you found the love of your life, clicked a 100, and tied the knot to live happily ever after. You know that’s witchcraft, right? Bad for you if the only love story you got is seeing through the eyes of characters in novels, television, and yeah social media. You’re a coward, you’d rather be alone than stomach a breakup yeah? Well, I hate to break it to you that the moment you give in, your share of heartbreak will be served on a platter. You can’t be as lucky as the witches, never!

MY LOVE STORY

I am not good at romanticizing lines to trigger butterflies in your stomach, I can only beg you to pretend that it’s that romantic a piece so we can arrive at the sole purpose for telling my story. Shall we?

dating and breakups

We met at a youth group meeting, a friend had invited him to come to train us, and I, being part of the organizers of the event, was assigned to follow up with him and see to it that he was going to be available for the training session. So we exchanged numbers and got talking every day with his PowerPoint presentation being the leverage. He let me in on his social phobia, he’s an introvert and had developed frozen feet. I tried my best to encourage him… you know those “Go Boy! You Got This!!” inspiring lines, yeah, they came in handy lol.

For Further Discussions and Bants, Click Here to Join Our Telegram Channel / Chatroom

Still talking and now getting cheesy, I found he stayed around my area, and tell you what,  it was one of the most amazing news to have greeted my ears. I’m an indoor girlie who hardly talks to anyone around my area. My routine was to go to work, church, back home, and repeat the process.

Fast forward to months of a beautiful friendship and me getting to know him better,  what I started to feel for him took me back to how I felt towards my high school crush only that this time my crush was my friend and he also had a crush on me too. Jackpot! 

For Evening Juices, Click Here To Follow Us On Instagram!

We were alike on so many levels, it was easy to talk with him for hours non-stop. We shared our fears, our dreams, our plans, and aspirations together. It was only easier for my feelings to cross the boundary of “just friends”, I started liking him more than a friend but I was sure good at pretending. 

talking stage in a relationship

 

YIPEE! HE POPPED THE QUESTION 

“I’m in love with you, will you be my girlfriend?” these words flew out of nowhere while we were having one of our random discussions. OF COURSE!! baby girl was already head over heels in love but was only waiting to be asked, LMAO. 

Read: A Merry Go Round Affair; Should I Leave Her Stranded Now?

We became better friends, it was like we just transitioned from a level of friendship and love to lovers. It would be sometimes hard to tell the difference if you had met us in person. He always looked out for ways to make me better and I also helped him out in ways I could. I felt so loved by him, talk about the time he would send me handwritten letters when he lost his phone to let me know how much he missed me and was thinking about me. Boy, I was in love with this guy and I didn’t see anything that wouldn’t make us work because we were both intentional about showing love to each other. 

how to spice your relationship to avoid a breakup

I’m not the PDA kind of person he was, so he would publicly hold my hands, kiss me quickly when no one was watching (or so we thought), and so many other love gestures I had never experienced before him. I felt treated like a princess, he was quite a gentleman, I confirmed from meeting his parents that they had a great influence on the Man he turned out to be. Sometimes when I close from work or school he would call ahead to know if I was hungry (I was always hungry 😋) and since I’ll have to pass by his house before I got to mine he would call ahead to know if I’ll stop over, he would have cooked noodles, boiled egg and fried plantain for me, it felt too good to be true but cause I knew him as a friend I wasn’t too surprised about his loving nature.  He was very thoughtful about giving gifts, hugs, surprises, and words of encouragement.

Stay Updated!!! Click Here To Follow Us On Twitter

It was my first real relationship in my 25 years of existence as the one I had before him only lasted a month LOL. So let’s say he was my first love (not in the context of first love as regards sex o but love like when you fall deeply in love with someone and you cannot think straight again LOLs).   There was one time I became depressed because I was facing pressure from work,  school, and home.  I was beginning to have suicidal thoughts, it was a hot afternoon and I was late for a meeting, I thought of jumping in front of a moving bus and was waiting for the right type of moving bus, then I thought “let me call him before I die”.  I will never forget his saving words; “Everybody fucking makes mistakes, why will you kill yourself over one?  when you get there, act like you never knew you were late and if they say anything tell them fuck you and go back home”. His last lines made me laugh off my depressed state. I went for the meeting and realized that they had already changed the time and I was an hour early. Yeah, you can say I was blessed with him at that time.

couples at the verge of a breakup

THE ODDS WITH TAKING A BREAK

Seven months down the line, he wanted to start a project and I was in on it big time like I was glad he could finally go for his dreams. He had always talked about starting the project and I was happy. At this time I was also running a program and facing stress from my project supervisor, I was drained financially, was facing home stress, and shuffling a low-paying volunteer work and school together. He was also getting deeply engrossed in work and it was also financially and emotionally draining for him. He became less attentive and I started to nag, he hardly called, and when I called him it was to blame him for not calling before saying that I missed him. 

Read: A Guilt To Live With? My Abortion Story

I guess he couldn’t take my nags anymore but what’s a girl gotta do? He asked for a break to clear his head and after two weeks, he came back and said he was sorry and he wanted us back together again. We picked up from where we left it and continued to support each other every other day. But there’s this thing about taking a break, it leaves a glitch and you find yourself trying too hard not to let it happen again. 

taking a break from a relationship

After a month we started struggling to keep the communication again, he was always sad about things not working out for him at the time and I tried to support and encourage him. I would take him out to eat to cheer him up. Sometimes I show up unannounced, drop him a cooler of his favorite meal, and leave so that he knows I was thinking about him without encroaching in his space.  I started reading books on communication to master the difference between how each gender thinks or communicates. I just wanted to be able to communicate love to him in the best ways possible but I guess I was failing at it. 

 

“WE NEED TO TALK”

Despite the hiccups, we clocked a few weeks and a year of dating, and then one Monday evening, I’ll never forget, I got the ever-dreaded message “we need to talk”. I imagined the worst but not a breakup, but to my surprise, it was it. The reason he gave was that he doesn’t want to string me along and waste my time, he needed to focus on his project and he can’t handle a relationship alongside. 

crying after a breakup

I was in pain. He knew I would wait for him if he had asked,  he knew I was initially scared to let my guards down and fall in love,  he knew that I loved him and would have wanted to stay and fight for love’s sake. I didn’t know how to handle the heartbreak, it was my first, I was too shattered for comfort. 

I had so many questions, What happened to the January 1st promise to fight for our love?  Why know so much about me and still hurt me? Why did he ask me out only to not ask my opinion before deciding on a breakup?  What makes him think I was in a hurry to get married? Why do I feel like he chose his life over me?  Was I really not that important to him or Did he fall out of love with me while my eyes were closed?  I never saw that move coming and no book or anyone had prepared me ahead for this. 

For Evening Juices, Click Here To Follow Us On Instagram!

I told him it’s okay, I believe in forgiveness, love, and friendship irrespective of how people turn out. I owe it to myself and my God to forgive, so I forgave him but I was heartbroken. Remember we were both on a project he was running so I still supported him while healing and trying to relate with him as just friends (I am the ‘My word is my Bond’ kind of person so I never throw any previously good friendship away because of one bad occurrence) but I took a break from being around him. 

friends with your ex after a break up

SHOULD HE CHANGE HIS MIND…

After a few months of nursing my hurt to no avail, I wrote him a handwritten letter too, telling him how much I loved him and want him back if he changes his mind. His response to the letter was “Why?” alongside sad emojis but he didn’t say he loved me back, there and then I knew it wasn’t a “take a break breakup”, it was for real. I felt stupid, I tore his letter to me,  cleared chats, deleted his number, and took time off social media and everything that would make me see him for some months.  Cried every day into my pillow for like 6 months, it took me over a year before I finally made peace with myself. 

Prepare For Real-life Visual Story Telling!!! Click Here To Subscribe to Our YouTube Channel

Sometimes I wish I never agreed to be in a relationship with him because what I feared the most happened to me through someone I had loved, plus maybe we would have still been very good friends to date. Other times I am grateful for the times we shared because as hurtful as the breakup was I know what to expect from a man,  I deserve to be loved and cherished, I also deserve to be fought for irrespective of circumstances and I know I’ll do the same too to whoever comes my way. 

dreaming of your ex after a breakup

After about a year and some months, I now see him with his new girlfriend,  sometimes it hurts because I wonder if he was really saying the truth when he said he couldn’t handle relationships alongside the project. He’s successful and even handles bigger projects now, was that an excuse to get me off the way? was I really the problem?  These questions I might never get answers to because we are not as close anymore, we talk but just casually, and the friendship we once shared, dead! 

Read: Vent Room! An Unsent Letter To Your Exes

One lesson I learned through all of these was that I could have communicated clearly with him when I noticed him pulling away instead of nagging. I could have asked him about how he felt about the relationship before the pressure of work started weighing in on us. This should have helped right? Now I am very big on communication, communicating clearly without pointing fingers, listening without judging, and talking about issues before they become too hard to solve.

breakup and communication
Source- New York Times

RECALLING YOURS AND THE LESSON

Yeah yeah like I pleaded with you at the beginning of the read to pretend that it’s a romatic read so we arrive at the sole purpose of telling my story. So Uju (Admin) reached out to me, asking if I’ll love to share my most memorable breakup story and the lessons with hopes that you too, can also recall yours and the lessons you learned.

For Further Discussions and Bants, Click Here to Join Our Telegram Channel / Chatroom

You see the thing about breakups is that no party is ever too confident to voice their faults in all of it. We mostly enjoy painting our exes as the villain (lowkey I think mine was lol) but deep down we learned a lesson or two and acknowledge our faults. It’s the purpose of this post.

Mind sharing your most memorable breakup experience, how it made you feel, the lessons and most importantly bearing your faults all out? This should be fun, lowkey warming up to laugh too. Leave your comments below😁👇👇.

4.5 8 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
95 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago

Yeah yeah, long time no story here. A whole freaking two weeks!! Whew!! I wish it was my making. Let’s just say greater forces I couldn’t fight played a fast one. Nonetheless accept my sincere apology Mutterers 😁 Now here’s the deal with this story, we’re sharing our love experiences and the lessons we learned. Lessons that help us navigate new relationships to avoid similar pitfalls. We are also sharing our faults. Yeah yeah! Search your conscience, even if a little, there must have been a fault from you, remember it takes two to tango😎.  So shall we? Leave your… Read more »

0001-4704552202_20210722_212900_0000.jpg
Oluwatobi
Oluwatobi
2 months ago

I loved the story as I read through, even though I was expecting the end as that was why I was expecting. It’s always beautiful when people fall in love, because of course, love is a beautiful thing. Sadly though, it hurts that something beautiful as that ended up that way, and I feel the guy wasn’t exactly honest with the girl. I don’t know cos it hasn’t happened to me, and I hope it doesn’t, but if I happen not to feel for a girl the way I used to, I’d rather come clean to her father than hide… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Oluwatobi

Some people don’t know how to take the bull by the horn. Heard of stories where one party just starts giving attitude so the other party can walk away or be the one to break up. May we not cross path with such partners lol🤭

Meanwhile, did I read correctly? You’ll come clean to her father? Why not her?

Oluwatobi
Oluwatobi
2 months ago

Amen ohhh 🙏.
🙆🏻‍♂️ 🙆🏻‍♂️ 🙆🏻‍♂️
I didn’t realize “father” followed “her” 😂😂😂. My keyboard did that. Lool

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Oluwatobi

Guess you meant “rather” 🤣🤣🤣

Oluwatobi
Oluwatobi
2 months ago

Yessss 😂😂😂

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Oluwatobi

😂😂

favour
favour
1 month ago

I could relate

Levi
Levi
2 months ago

I would be honest, I had my faults in my past relationships. The guy in this one, should have done better, at least be honest with her it was more than the projects. I am glad that she realized her mistakes too. Communication is important. It is the make or break of any relationship. Our past relationships always teach us something. Some times, good, sometimes bad. But if we study closely, we always become better people after a breakup I hope the writer find peace and a better man to take care of her truly. And fall deeply in love… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Levi

Hmmmm, not everyone becomes better after a break up though, some become bitter 🤭.

Yeah dude could have been honest but maybe on the other hand, it was strictly the project. You know new routines have a way of taking a toll on us. Could have been his case.

So mind sharing your faults in your previous relationship?😉

Levi
Levi
2 months ago

I was so secretive, a bit clingy and always did things on my own

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Levi

Na dem👩‍🦯👩‍🦯

Zhee
Zhee
2 months ago

Break ups are terrible… Very terrible, esp when u really loved the person. I can totally relate to the not being able to communicate properly part… I can imagine wah u went through…
At the end, we’ll all be fine raiii?

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Zhee

Yeah raiii lol. Some people might never be fine o, some ‘breakfasts’ are just too hot 😪

Zhee
Zhee
2 months ago

Sooo true😪
Some “breakfasts” are just too hot… I get da feeling…

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Zhee

😉

Anonymous **
Anonymous **
2 months ago

This story ehn… I wish her more healing, better future goals in her path. This breakfast serving no be here o… Some men do this all the time. They just keep u hanging and it’s ANNOYING!!! They lose the confidence to tell u that they are done. So, I have gotten so sensitive that, if you dont have a good explanation for your muteness, I help u. I will do the break-up (block u so that u wont have reasons to change your mind later). Anybody can say, maybe I wasn’t in love before, and my response will be, “Oh,… Read more »

Last edited 2 months ago by Anonymous **
muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Anonymous **

😂😂😂😂 men are legendary! I believe most ladies are guilty of the “I’m fine” or “its alright” when deep down we one deck person son 😂😂😂.

I still haven’t mustered the liver to block someone I once had a thing for. I can decide to go blank for a while but for some reason I don’t block. I leave the door open incase he should have something to say.

But this disconnection ish, how do men do it? Make you head over heels only to find they were only catching cruise or waiting for the next available booty…omooo 😂😂🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Anonymous **
Anonymous **
2 months ago

Me sef want to learn that their style… Nne!

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Anonymous **

😂😂😂

Zhee
Zhee
2 months ago
Reply to  Anonymous **

Eggggggzactlyyyyyy!
I really thought I was alone in the group chat😂 I’m working on it tho.
Keeping quiet sucking up and enduring their nonsense, then spark just when you’ve had enough of it… And funny enough, it might be just a veryyyy like thing that’ll trigger the spark, buh then you shout with the whole accumulated anger😂😂 omooo…
Blocking ur ex? Sounds difficult buh I learnt it’ll go a long way in helping u heal tho.

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Zhee

Sparkers “Wozzop” group😂😂

Anonymous **
Anonymous **
2 months ago
Reply to  Zhee

The blocking is usually hard. The decision takes a lot of tears but healing is all that i need. But once i am healed, i even unblock them. At that point, nothing they do makes sense to me again.

Ada
Ada
2 months ago

I must say the guy was not entirely truthful to the lady. Break-up is very painful and I can say this for sure because I have had my fair share of it. I would say probably cos of the distance I had with my ex, it brought about a lot of fights between us. I lacked the proper communication skills because I felt he should be able to read my mind to know how I felt ( as if he was a psychic☺️). Truth is if you ask what happened in my previous relationship I will paint him as the… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Ada

Hehehehhhe long distance relationship can be a bitch😂😂. Lowkey every fight you both had was due to too much “missing each other” but ego plays a fast one😂😂.

Mehn I feel you o, there’s how you will love someone you automatically believe they should be able to read your mind. When they can’t, you feel they just playing dumb lol😂😂😂. My friend I know you know what I want, do I have to spell it out? 🙄

PaGidi
PaGidi
2 months ago

So most fights in long distance relationship is due to too much missing each other??? Oh wooow!

I for say make god punish my ex, buh we’ll meet in the future. And pride still no go make her talk, especially if she don marry.

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  PaGidi

😂😂😂😂😂 “most”, might not include yours o 😂😂😂

Flora
Flora
2 months ago

Yeah ..me on this one.. wanting him to know egggxactly what I want.. please be Jesus Christ or just gettout.. and wen you don’t, I see it as playing dump lol

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Flora

😂😂😂😂😂 of course! How can he say he doesn’t know what I want? I refuse to believe that 😂😂😂

PaGidi
PaGidi
2 months ago

So, for a first, let me say I’m glad I was able to survive reading this. I don’t do well with heartbreaks stories because I don’t like remembering mine. Secondly, I’m glad this doesn’t even make me remember mine, so yes, good one to the writer and the storyline lol (like I said, I’m always mindful of avoiding heartbreaks recall. And the third….yeah I’m so not going to say mine coz I can’t deal with the problems and headaches attached to it. But yes, I’ve been working on it privately for a book, so been doing well to try and… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  PaGidi

😂😂😂😂😂😂 I should sympathise but laughter ooo😂😂😂😂. It must have been a very hot buffet, definitely not breakfast 😂😂😂

Be kind to notify me when the book is published. Meanwhile saying you never want to attempt a relationship, does that mean marriage is out of the question for you?🤔

Damilola
Damilola
2 months ago
Reply to  PaGidi

🥰🥰🤗 I love this community, so much encouragement and positivity. Reading through comments and learning a thing or two to help my heart going forward😂 😂 May God take away heart breakers far away from us oo, I’ve moved on but I’m not ready for a relationship yet😌(i hope this counts for moving on). Keep sharing, I’m reading and taking notes😌😌.

From Damilola the latest breakfast eater😂.

Anonymous **
Anonymous **
2 months ago
Reply to  Damilola

Awwwn! So sorry, Sis!

Chei, this breakfast thing ehn…Sighs!

Didiong
Didiong
2 months ago
Reply to  Damilola

Amen o. Pele dear. Spit out the breakfast jare. We meuve.

Akwasi
Akwasi
2 months ago

Your story is just like the lots that I’ve heard. You sound so mature and insightful in your write up. I’m sure your next partner will be lucky.

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Akwasi

Yippee!! Writer will definitely blush on this one 💃💃

Damilola
Damilola
2 months ago
Reply to  Akwasi

🥰🥰 Thank you Akwasi.

PAIN
PAIN
2 months ago

I was rooting for you, hoping you guys will come back together after the break and it will all be a fairy tale ending, but I guess life happened. While most people here might blame the guy, issues around break up are usually a lot more complicated for those who experienced it and easy for outsiders without context to put into cute little boxes of logic and condemn. Stories are easier to adjudge from the outside. Being in love is like an earthquake, a tremor. It goes up and then subsides. Love is what remains, after failing in love has… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  PAIN

Hmmmm very wise words, I learned something “Not all Truths are beneficial” . Frankly it would have hurt more if he said he had fallen out of love for her. Nobody prays to hear that especially when they’re still in love.

If wishes were horses, a lot of folks in love will pray that they are so in sync with their partners and that the moment their partner pulls away, it’s the same for them too. It hurts to be the only one hanging on to a relationship.

Your comment is insightful 👌🏿

Damilola
Damilola
2 months ago
Reply to  PAIN

Wow! Thank you for sharing this. I’ll take the lessons along with me. BTW I’m beginning to come out from the hurt and relate well with him and his friends. Just like you said, i said to myself UNTO THE NEXT! and I’ll make sure i enjoy every bit of the experience.

Didiong
Didiong
2 months ago
Reply to  PAIN

I’m not sure how I feel about the merciful lies line but….

Your words are deep and it feels like you’re one of them.

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Didiong

😂😂😂😂 @one of them

Ebuka
Ebuka
2 months ago

Hmmmmmmmnn.. Well, you still stirred the butterfly in my belly. I knew it was a breakup story, but i was still rooting for you guys while reading through the PDA part. Nna mehhhn…i don’t know. Love is sweet, break ups hurt. I have come to understand that none of the party is ever happy to walk away, but sometimes staying with someone you just don’t share the same feelings for anymore will simply hurt them in the end. You did nothing wrong. If you had “communicated better” and still found out he was getting tired of the relationship, you’d have… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Ebuka

😂😂😂 what is wrong with you all being tired of love? It’s a beautiful thing now haba!

True that, communicating better or not, someone who has made up their mind to walk away will still do so.

Ebuka
Ebuka
2 months ago

Someone just shared this on her WHATSAP..and its true.

Ada
Ada
2 months ago
Reply to  Ebuka

This is so me, right now I just want to leave relationship matter and focus on my growth first. It’s so tiring 😩😩

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Ada

You all can run but you can’t hide 😂😂

Winner James
Winner James
2 months ago

That was a nice write up. Love is beautiful but we hate the down times. (Everyone hates down times). I feel he wasn’t completely honest with you but I’m glad you’re okay. Reminds me of a lot of things. Lol.

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Winner James

Haba!! Why not spill the “a lot of things”😖

Ifemi
Ifemi
2 months ago

I was part of the reasons we had to breakup. Some of my actions caused the break up and like she said I am still crying in my pillow three months after. Maybe when its six months also I would be okay. Its fucked up cause I cant blame him. I was a part of the cause but it still hurt though. Sometimes I look back and wish I never met him. He was too perfect The love he showed me was too much. He was my first love not in sex. This is also the first time I find… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Ifemi

Awwwww so sorry, perhaps cupid’s arrow will bring you both together again. Lol who says yours has to be six months? 😂😂

You sound so in love with him, did you make moves to make it work?

Flora
Flora
2 months ago
Reply to  Ifemi

Eyaaaa. Just be strong and move on.
U Never can tell, someone who will love u even more than he did is somewhere waiting for you to brace up

Didiong
Didiong
2 months ago
Reply to  Ifemi

All these 6 months cryers 🤣🤣 sorry I’m laughing. I know the hurts of heartbreak but I haven’t cried for 6 months. I stop crying but I would still be hurt, until a time when your actions and inaction mean nothing to me.

Sorry about your experience. I also get scared of seemingly too perfect relationship. You would be alright ❣

Ezeugo 1
Ezeugo 1
2 months ago

There’s something ladies need to know. A man most times isn’t happy when he doesn’t achieve his plans or isn’t financially stable. Unfortunately it always affect people around them. I’m speaking for guys in general and not the guy in the story cause he wasn’t honest. But if a guy is honest with you from the beginning and you’ve weighed your options then go ahead and enjoy the love and care you’re getting but bare in mind that there will be alot of times where he would be depressed, sad and feel worthless, he may project those feelings to you.… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Ezeugo 1

😁😁 our relationship counsellor has spoken. Very well said. Me I sha hate hearing that “be my peace” line sha. E dey vex me lowkey 😂😂😂

Your comment felt like an elaborate interpretation of the sentence lol.

Ezeugo 1
Ezeugo 1
2 months ago

My dear whether it vex you or not it’s a fact that peace of mind is very important to most guys. We don’t like unecessary stress. What ever gives peace of mind to your man is something you should figure out as his woman

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Ezeugo 1

🙄🙄

Didiong
Didiong
2 months ago
Reply to  Ezeugo 1

So why start a relationship when you know you have some plans that should make you happy but is yet to materialize? Abeggi

Like the lady is all sorted out? He who planned to catch cruise whilst trying to materialize a supposed plan, would leave when they’re done or tired. People should stop stressing people’s minds and hearts mbok.

Ezeugo 1
Ezeugo 1
2 months ago
Reply to  Didiong

You should know by now that the heart wants what it wants. Whom you fall in love with isn’t chosen. That’s why I was kin on being honest from the onset. Let her know the level you are, tell her your intentions and let her decide.
You didn’t see in my comment where I exempted the guy in the story cause he wasn’t honest to himself and the lady.

Jerry
Jerry
2 months ago

Beautiful bittersweet piece. I wish the writer peace going forward. I assure you it will get better. On another note, Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. The pain of the leaving can tear us apart. Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Jerry

Very wise words☺☺. We must open our hearts completely to love, without the fear of an end. Most people avoid love because they don’t want to get their hearts broken. But we never know until we try.

Ada
Ada
2 months ago
Reply to  Jerry

I need love but scared to open my heart to love for now 🥺🥺🥺

dosbambi
dosbambi
2 months ago

Hmmmmmm, heart break…seems everyone has been served. About this story, seems to me that the guy lied about why he ended the relationship…and I’m glad the lady was able to get better, because we have seen folks turn out bad after an heart break. My only heart break happened years ago, and it took me a very very long time to finally get over it. Until I started writing poems about my feelings, my healing didn’t start. I can be very emotional. The heartbreak really affected me, made me rush into a relationship I shouldn’t have started at all, cos… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  dosbambi

Awww Dos Dos, chai so someone had the guts to break your mighty heart 😆😆. Good to see you got a soft spot lol.

You just brought my mind to ‘rebounds’, it happens to most people because they suffer from emotional dependence. It mostly never lasts because in truth you won’t be able to give your all cause your mind is still stuck on your ex.

Meanwhile not sure I can attend the wedding of an ex who broke my heart this bad o. Mbanu!🤣🤣

dosbambi
dosbambi
2 months ago

Lols, Uju o… I’m not that kind of tough person o. I’m more of an emotional person. The relationship I got into, was like 2-3 years after the heartbreak, felt I needed someone to just fill in the gap…but, as the person that I am na, I can’t just go into a relationship like that, except na cruise. My mind wasn’t really stuck on my ex, cos I knew I couldn’t get her back, I wasn’t just over my feeling towards her. About attending her wedding, it’s no big deal to me… I think, I surprised her siblings when they… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  dosbambi

Awww this thing called ‘Space’…@your dad couldn’t believe you 😂😂😂😂. I would have advised you to sit at home too.

Whew!! Took you over 3 years to get over her? Mehn! I don’t want this type of heartbreak abeg😂😂

dosbambi
dosbambi
2 months ago

He did told me not to go…but he’s one of those parent let you do your thing once you become an adult.

I told you, I’m the emotional type na… That’s one of the reasons, I don’t just go into a relationship…cos when I’m in, I am all in…there won’t be any other proposal again. Na make we Dey plan for marriage remain.

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  dosbambi

Ah you won’t propose to your bae?? You just plan marriage immediately 🤭🤭… Dos Dos😁

dosbambi
dosbambi
2 months ago

I’ve done that at the beginning.
Before we start the relationship, we don agree on the purpose…so no need for proposal again.

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  dosbambi

😂😂😂😂😂 okayy

Flora
Flora
2 months ago
Reply to  dosbambi

I don’t think I can attend my ex wedding ooo.. I fit scatter dah wedding join. Unless the heartbreak didn’t get to me much. Tuale for u baba

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Flora

😂😂😂 he’s strong

dosbambi
dosbambi
2 months ago

Lols…na “Jesus power” o.

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  dosbambi

😂😂😂 no be you again

dosbambi
dosbambi
2 months ago

🤣🤣🤣 comon Uju!

What are you trying to say???

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  dosbambi

You know what I mean 😂😂

dosbambi
dosbambi
2 months ago
Reply to  Flora

Lol, it is well.

I believe, you don’t stop loving someone…and you always want to see your love happy.

Jay
Jay
2 months ago

So it took me a while to process this story before commenting. I admire your candor Dami. Wishing you all the best. She was a twin. It was about 13 years ago. She was my first love, and it was a twist of fate that brought us together. We had lots of sex, but no sexual intercourse. I wanted to marry her, because based on my background, love leads to marriage. She broke up, because her family pressured her that she can’t marry me, a fellow Yoruba man who comes from a different state. It was painful. I remember taking… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Jay

Chai, must have been so painful. I’m sure anytime either of those songs come up, it brings back memories. Mehn, and you are yoruba o, if you were some other tribe it would have been a bit understandable.

What do you mean by you had lots of sex but no sexual intercourse?

Lmao, so you belong to the “let me break up first” group 😂😂😂😂. I really don’t see the difference, not like its a competition.

Jay
Jay
2 months ago

I used to belong to that club. Now i am older, and wiser. I now try to say the truth, as kindly as I can, that we are not working, and the numerous conflicts, especially if they are dramatic, is stressing me out.

The story said I should share the most memorable breakup I had. Finish!

Flora
Flora
2 months ago
Reply to  Jay

Pls can u tell us more about this lots

Jay
Jay
2 months ago
Reply to  Flora

It’s clear enough, to me. Sex is a range of activities, that is pleasurable and can result in orgasm, including sexual penetration, aka sexual intercourse.

This definition might be hard for people who are strongly spiritual. Some like to believe we didn’t do ‘anything’, we just romanced and we cummed.

Is it clear enough?

Didiong
Didiong
2 months ago
Reply to  Jay

First to breakup? 🤣🤣 i only did that when they gave me silly rules to abide by. Nah, don’t stress me. I was still too young. But normally, I don’t take a walk first.

Didiong
Didiong
2 months ago

It’s a bitter sweet story. I’ve experienced something similar. Let’s say I’ve been hurt one too many times and I don’t know which one to share. Love is beautiful with a good person. I always want to try again, but, some of the other gender are just bad agents.

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Didiong

Awwww sending you hugs 🤗🤗. Good thing you haven’t given up on love 😁

Pretty Anon
Pretty Anon
2 months ago

This writeup made me remember my first heartbreak😂. Time really does heal. I think about it rn and I can’t help but laugh. It’s safe to say I’ve gotten over it but not enough to let anyone else get that close to hurting me like that abeg. This love thing is sweet, but I don’t know if the pain is worth it. I think my fault, was that I tried too hard to be perfect to save the relationship. Nigga will be fuccin up and I’ll keep quiet and say it’s fine. Just because I didn’t want to come off… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Pretty Anon

😂😂😂 no pain no gain. I get that feeling of trying to be all goodie goodie so they don’t call you a nag. But dears, sometimes let out some crazy o because it’s necessary 😂😂😂

Andrew Isaac
Andrew Isaac
2 months ago

This is an interesting read..i love this particular story, but it will be unfair to dishes out blames through this story.. Even the writer espressed how good this guy is and how supportive he was … I also have almost similar experience, but the diff pattern. I gaslighted the whole break up in such a way that my ex did the broke up…..😜 dont worry it’s a long story, but I have my very good reasons why I took that approach, I did it just to keep her mental health positive and also to boost her confidence to pick up… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
2 months ago
Reply to  Andrew Isaac

I see… you had to be benevolent with the break up whew!! I often hear people say that the party who ‘breaks ups’ suffers little or no heartbreak. Well maybe. If she really did love you, it will affect her too but not in a devastating way or maybe even more devastating considering her mental health cause from your narrative it’s obvious you were her solace. Now check out what happens when you’re gone. She’ll most likely suffer depression but if she got a big ego, she wouldn’t say.

I feel you, life is about live and learn yeah…

Topsi😍
Topsi😍
1 month ago

My story right now. At a point, i feel lost and terrible and my ex, still sticks around calling me bby n all those sweet words . He doesnt want to stay away and he doesnt want us together im in a stand still loop. 😒😒😒😒 Breakup na crzay thing and starting over is where the fear lies

muttering minds
Admin
1 month ago
Reply to  Topsi😍

😂😂😂 this issue of not wanting to leave yet blocking the way for people to come in. I cast and bind!!

We always feel we won’t be okay after a break up that’s why we keep hanging on. It might take time but it sure gets better.😃

Selina
Selina
1 month ago

Hmmm… I didn’t even get a ‘it’s over’ message. I don’t have any closure yet as to why he changed, I just flowed with it. Its been over six months now but I still see him in my dreams.

P.S: This is my first comment here. You all should welcome me o

muttering minds
Admin
1 month ago
Reply to  Selina

Awwww welcome Selina 😁. Reminds me of how I used to see an ex who didn’t give me closure in my dreams also🤭. So sorry love, eventually, it will pass.

Meanwhile here’s a post about my exes, how I dealt with all the mess up lol 🤣🤣. You should read… VENT ROOM, AN UNSENT LETTER TO MY EXES

Selina
Selina
1 month ago

I’ll like to join your telegram group btw… can I please, get a link?

muttering minds
Admin
1 month ago
Reply to  Selina

Sure CLICK HERE 🤗

95
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x