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I am Muttering

Knowing when the welcome party is over

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2 min read

The Welcome Party

You met someone new and suddenly think you’ve found a strong connection with them huh? soulmate innit? But isn’t it too early to pitch your conclusion around that? 😌 Oh well, keep reading… 

When we meet someone new,  a kind of adrenaline pops. Like fuel, it nurtures our mental ability excellently, making us want to go the extra mile in knowing them. We try to know more about their life, best meal, favourite colour, if they love ice cream, etc.

At this stage, who we truly are dissolves in the background of our lives because we have taken to compromising but can we live up the routine forever? 

READ: Everyone Is A Physiognomist.

Change Was Expected

Fine! I totally get it. You got carried away in the frenzy, knowing you loved the same genre of music, same hangout spots, matching intellectual strength and what have you. You were happy to have found someone like that yeah? 

But who would have envisaged you two will begin to share some awkward moments. Well, I did.

It’s no news that two people cannot maintain the same energy forever. Highs and lows are definite. But more than half the time, one person changes first. If it’s not you then sorry!

‘They are changing’, you think! So you begin to hassle your mind for a thousand and one topics that can keep the flow between you two. It’s not working. This wasn’t so hard before, was it? Now it all seems like we are struggling just to have something to say to them. 

But here’s one truth I realized over time, especially with me as a case study…

Change
Now they got multiple colours, you can’t tell who they are again but…chillllll

READ: About Muttering Minds

The Welcome Party is Over

You will be more doomed if you start screaming in their face that they’ve changed.

Its time to step up your game! Know who they truly are.  All that happened, in the beginning, was basically for courtesy sake, it was a ‘welcome party’ and now it is over and you have to wake up. 

Ask more relevant questions other than what they wore to bed last night🤭. We all like the rarest forms of care compared to  the regular. Give it!

You can ask them what their deepest fears are, career goals, if they like science or philosophy tickles them, worse case scenarios, their opinion on murder and so many terrific and terrifying stuff, PICK THEIR BRAINS

Now is the time to know their real demons because the welcome party is over my friend😉.

NEWS FLASH: The world is changing… Oops! I meant the world has changed! Don’t ask me what I had for breakfast every day, don’t ask me what my favourite colour is or worst of my favourite sex position, yuck!… That’s basic! You can ask though but it shouldn’t crown your discussion😋. I like that you can ask me questions like “have you ever so bad considered slashing someone’s throat” Ok just kidding, I’m sure you get the point.

 

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Kenneth
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Kenneth

I think most of our conversations are conventional cos most people can’t handle non-conventional ones, they tend to find it weird when you deviate from the norm and lack words I think it’s basically lack on intellect cos a conversation between two very smart people can’t be that boring

Jimmy Davidson
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Jimmy Davidson

Absolutely! 👌🏾

Queen
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Queen

Yes but didn’t end in praise.

Sam
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Sam

This is reality…
We move from basic to serious matters.

Lovely.

Femi
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Femi

There are two sides to the coin though. However, in most conversations, particularly amongst acquaintances, the lady plays the mum figure, leaving you with no other choice than to do the most of the questioning. So, by default the convo is bound to be boring. Even in communication, there is a reason why there is a decoder and the other an encoder. Takes two to tangle

David Oisamoje
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David Oisamoje

We can’t be sure there’s no instant connection it happens all the time! 90% of humans have experienced it at least once in their lifetime.

Mykel Oche
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Mykel Oche

Change is inevitable, when the changes come go with the flow don’t be rigid, don’t act like you have a script.

Gottfried
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Gottfried

You can only pick the brains of a willing partner innit?

Bibi Mela
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Bibi Mela

HYFR!

Obama
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Obama

I once felt this way with someone at some point, we were course mates but along the line we became close friends … We shared a lot from music, books, movies, podcasts and a whole lot…like we could go on talking for hours and all that… I felt like I’ve found the one till she shocked me less than a 2 weeks ago. I didn’t see it coming at all… Like I could expect it from someone else but no her… Dammmmmmn!! Not after we’ve experienced some level of bonding…

Darius
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Darius

Pick their brains? Conversing with a Nigerian lady is like taking part in a question-and-answer session. The guy asks the questions and the girl responds. Of course, you are an exception. Every time I meet a girl and I try to pick her brains, the conversation always goes south. How do you draw someone into a conversation without firing a volley of questions at them? I believe a question is a conversation starter and a good conversationalist should be able to drag a question into a lengthy discussion. A lady once told me to stop cross-examining her like a judge… Read more »

Obama
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Obama

That’s a serious problem ooh! Sometimes, I no blame people who wan date oyibo or a more mature lady cos I face same issues till I started connecting with other beautiful minds…

Darius
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Darius

Conversing with a Nigerian lady on phone should be classified as extreme sport.

Be glad you won’t have to deal with Bimbo’s anymore.

Obama
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Obama

Honestly! 😅