I bet there is a wilful spirit that takes over us the moment we are warned to adhere strictly to a rule, we find ourselves trespassing. I cannot get myself to stop touching my face and lips and this started after getting sensitized about the coronavirus disease; my fingers have suddenly found themselves a new playground, MY FACE! Arrrghhhh!
I used to think incessant political news pissed me off but the COVID- 19 tumult really gets my goat. Barely would you look anywhere without getting a nudge that the virus is alive and well. I commend the whole sensitization especially on social media but then it seems like the thin line segregating ‘caution’ and ‘fear’ is being breached. I understand the statistics of infected persons move by an upward trajectory daily and we need to be informed but in all these, fear instead of caution has clinched the apex of the pyramid. The BC’s are getting scary daily, can I not receive anymore pleaseeeeee.
Are you also scared? It’s almost as though I am starting to suffer the placebo effect of COVID-19. This moment I am sniffing, sometimes sneezing and then my nostrils drip. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I’m like “Covid is that you?” I bet my body knows I am scared so it seizes the moment to play tricks.
Not about to give you any inspirational talk about not being scared because I can assure you I won’t sound convincing. But since we’ve been asked to stay indoors to prevent widespread, I will just talk to you on the bright side of indulging it.
Compulsory Leave and a Break from Smiling At Ugly Faces:
Brace up! You won’t be seeing some ugly faces like that of your boss for the next 14 days at least. Heard some bosses are still headstrong at granting the compulsory leave though but now is not the time to play Martin Luther, instead play the same card like the pussy cat that disappeared in our nursery rhyme.
I assure you, within these 14 days, you will sleep and eat right, put on some weight and most importantly not have to fake greet ugly faces every morning (like your HR). Imagine 14 days free from the harassment of submitting weekly targets and reports, sweet right?
Unleash the Tik Tok/Thriller Demon:
You promised your boss you’ll be working from home but there you are perfecting how to use Tik Tok and Thriller app. Well if it will make you sit at home, I’m in full support. Twerk it girl! Flip the switch all you want but be rest assured baby is not coming to give you something new because ooo social distancing is no joke. But what happens after 14 days when you are asked to submit a report? Those videos better be the panacea.
Are you in Debts like Me?
Well if you are then it is good news. Here’s what I planned to do…at this point whoever you owe is scared of coming out to grab you by your chest. If they are bold enough to ask why they haven’t gotten any alert, blame it on sister Covid. And guess what, after the death of the virus, you can still buy more time to pay up. Tell them your boss has not been paying because there’s been no work. Hollop! I hope it is not a colleague you owe because the efficacy of this lie won’t see the light of the day.
Why Are You Shouting?
I almost gave a man a hot knock on his head when I went to the bank yesterday. Nigga was making a call but he won’t keep his voice low, opened his mouth wide like he was about to render a national speech. Asides that it is a banking hall, COVID- 19 is real, keep your voice low or I shoot you. Although I read that the virus is unable to travel beyond one meter but I bet if he is a carrier, he will infect everyone because his voice carried the weight of a ballistic missile. Keep your voices low fam!
The End of the Road:
In no time, I strongly believe it will be the end of the road for the virus, but right now we must do our best to secure this one life we got. Or you got spare? The sacrifices might be hard but they are doable. You see those battling the virus at the ICU were once like you and me, they probably said “Covid got nothing on me, I am always lucky,” But look where they are now.
Do you still adhere to your unhygienic lifestyle? Have you been immersed in the ritual of washing your hands possibly twenty times a day? I won’t lie, that shit is difficult but right now the fear of COVID- 19 is the beginning of wisdom. As much as you’re treading with caution, do it right. Is your face mask dirty? Please do the needful by replacing otherwise your pursuit of protection might just be your doom.
There will be several parties to attend, more people to visit, lips to kiss and bodies to cuddle but right now, you have only one duty, SIT AT HOME!!!
A word enough for the wise. Special warning to my friends, if I heard you caught the virus, best believe I won’t visit you in the sick ward. If you survive, praise God, I will be glad to take up the title of a bad friend because I know you won’t hesitate to scream it. If sadly you die from the virus, then I will say my farewell from the confines of my home. Offended? Wait until I get to heaven then we can settle the rift, that’s if you make it there. A stubborn fly follows the corpse to the grave, SIT AT HOME!!!!
Perhaps I didn’t state enough of the bright sides of sitting at home, well you can help too. Asides from Netflix and Chill (which is the most common), how and most importantly why have you been holding up. Let’s engage in the comment section.