The loss of a mother especially at a tender age is grieve itself. I lost my mum due to the delay of being attended to in a poorly managed hospital.
For the first couple of days after her death, I lost touch with my emotions. I looked forward to crying, to grieve and blaming everything around me, but I couldn’t. All I could do was stare at my brothers and relatives crying.
Maybe I was shy to cry in public or I wanted to be strong for my family, I can’t really tell. I couldn’t feel anything even though it all happened in front of me.
I am my mother‘s only daughter. I felt no one could feel the pain I had to feel. I thought I was the only one who had the right to feel bad because I was really close to her. Watching every other person mourn, I realized everyone had a touch of her in them but for a moment I was bemused as to why they were all crying.
For God’s sake, she was my mother if anyone should be feeling the most pain, it’s me. “What’s with the drama?”…my paranoia kicked. Until I realized it was selfish of me to think that I was the only one that had a relationship with her.
No! she was so sweet, in fact too great to have impacted just one life, mine!
Death is painful. I do not pray for anyone to lose their loved ones especially a mom but if you do you’re allowed to feel bad for a couple of months weeks or maybe years. It took me seven years to get over my mom‘s death but it might be longer for some other person and that’s because people grieve differently but my advice is not to dwell on death but look at the bright side.
Enough about death stories! The question now should be, how did I get over grieving? Just like death tells no one it is coming, no one prays to lose a loved one. To keep death out of my household, I started to lead a spiritual life. There had been instances where I could’ve lost one or more close family member after my mom but the power of God kept us strong.
I learned to deal with the physical through the spiritual. I wish I knew God better while my mom was alive, I bet she wouldn’t have died. Putting God first in all I do has kept the devil out of my household.
Looking on the bright side, my mom‘s death has actually done me good. Sometimes I just stare up to the sky and see her face smiling down at me. She is happy that her death drew me closer to God.
If you are currently grieving the death of a loved one or you face it sometime in the future (which is inevitable), you’re allowed to be mad for a bit, cry for a bit, but do not dwell there.
Moving on will be hard but there is always a lesson to learn. Hold on to God, He’s the only one that can pull you out of anything. Hold onto him, he has a lot planned out for you, death shouldn’t be an excuse.