I am Muttering

Who are you Dating? Does Your Partner…?

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5 min read

No matter how well you claim to know someone, the fact is, they have untold stories, behaviors, and habits they exhibit that you will never get to know. 

Don’t you have secrets? Don’t you have habits you’ll rather do in your closet than in the presence of the one you claim you love? Don’t you have behaviors you’d rather show to strangers than those who know you? The same applies to your partner. Secrets are not always huge, they could be small and flimsy but we’ll rather guard them jealously than expose them to prying eyes. 

Read: Social Media Display Of Affection
partners secret
They could be small and flimsy but we’ll rather guard them jealously than expose them to prying eyes.

Does Your Partner…?

A guy I was dating once confessed to attending a wild party doused with debauchery before he met me. I didn’t know what best to do with his confession than be mad. Did I have the right to be mad? right or not, I couldn’t help it, but unfortunately, spectators lingered on the fact that it’s his past and it will be unfair to hold it against him.

Yea, it’s fair to leave what happens in Vegas, in Vegas, but should we throw caution to the wind because we feel no one is watching? When we are asked for the things we consider before agreeing to start a relationship with someone, we give a long list of the things we think we have a grasp on…he/she must be God-fearing, loving, respectful, caring, intellectual, etc. 

Read: How Do You Play On Social Media
Do you know who you are dating?

Does your partner care enough not to indulge in activities you’ll frown at when you are not with them? Can you take every pill of their past without regurgitating? Are they loving to you alone or can boast of showing love to others? Are they mature enough to pick the right side of an argument and dish cogitating remarks to matters arising when you are not there? How do they handle social media? Bottom line! Do you know who you are dating?

Your Partner And Social Media

When I think of internet trolls, what pricks my mind among several other thoughts is, “Is this person in a relationship? If so, who are they dating?” 

You ought to be concerned about what your partner posts with their phone, sites they visit, bants they indulge in, what they like and the comments they put out there. What are their reactions towards the government, do their opinions about rape do justice or show how myopic their reasoning is? Are they skillful in analyzing human interest stories? 

Read: Long Distance Relationship Is A Scam!
Image result for man irritated about ladies thinking
Are they skillful in analyzing human interest stories?

Imagine your partner getting dragged in the comment section because of a disparaging remark they made about a celebrity or body shaming an individual? that’s a dent on your name. For me, it’s over between us because I don’t see what concerns them with how a celebrity baby looks, the outfit they wear, if a person prefers to diet or not, etc. Baby boy, mind your business!

A partner who says “baby these are just memes…I actually don’t mean what I posted, it’s not like I support it, I just love the humor that’s why I posted it ”… like really? I wouldn’t last long with a partner who posts very insensitive things just for laughs. Like we are what we eat, we are what we post too, we have to be intentional about these things.

dating a troll
Is your partner a troll?

I have my sense of humor intact, I love sarcasm but there’s a thin line to every joke that mustn’t be breached and if my partner is insensitive to that thin line, then boy bye. Don’t go on twitter tweeting hogwash about sex all the time or ranting about some inhumane shit you’ll do if you caught your partner cheating, is there nothing better you can offer your timeline?

Is there nothing better to offer?


Everyone claims their partner is well behaved but who opens these fake accounts for trolling? It shouldn’t always be about knowing your partner’s password to see if they are cheating. How about checking their social media to see the nature of people and pages they follow and like? Do they have multiple Instagram accounts? If so, for what purpose? Why do they use the names they use on social media? Looking at their browser history, what sites do they binge visit? These are very important and in fact, a faltering on any of these should be handled the way we handle cheating.


Image result for getting an intellectual partner
It shouldn’t always be about knowing your partner’s password to see if they are cheating.

Truth is, our true nature manifests when we are all alone or have limited eyes on our radar. While we try to nurse our demons, we should have an idea of what demons we are subliminally accommodating in the other person although we cannot know the entirety of it. Whether you agree or not, your partner is a reflection of who you are and what you condone.  So who are you dating?


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Vandy Seyi
Vandy Seyi
3 years ago

The internet troll angle is fresh; minus the fact that many just type what they know they can never do in real life. When some people senselessly troll. It makes me really wonder how can someone manage this level of reasoning. But finally, different strokes for different folks

3 years ago

Well articulated article.

Amongst all that you have mentioned, I am more concerned about getting into a relationship with someone whose mental capacity is digging its way to the core of the earth.

I do not want to shake my head profusely, in disgust, after reading her posts and comments on social media or hearing her observations on germane issues.

I can’t be asking God why He dropped me in Nigeria and at the same time asking Him why He led me to you.

3 years ago

I well thought out article.

I have a special dislike for ladies who can’t mind their business. I once broke up with a a lady when I realized she was an unrepentant gossip.

I cautioned her and her response was, “Gossip is something that ladies can’t avoid”. Right there and then, I knew she wasn’t the one for me.

For me, it’s important that I know who I’m dating.

3 years ago

This matter is very pertinent one cos it’s one of the reasons for many break ups and divorce now and before now. Most of the things we get surprised about might not have really surprised us if we paid attention to details. I once had a relationship where everything started going sour cos I saw how another guy was making sexual memes and remarks about my ex-girlfriend… She was enjoying it and said, it was joke… That one na story for another day. Communication is not just about calling thrice a day to hear your partner’s voice as though it’s… Read more »

3 years ago

Thank God I’m not doing again..

2 years ago

I love this…I once broke up with a guy who said girls who get raped enjoy it 60% of the time…I was so mad, I broke up with him on the spot

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