I am Muttering

Excitement is a hard thing for me

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3 min read

I find it difficult to express excitement most times, and a lot of folks perceive it the wrong way. 

I am not the type who out of excitement would scream your name with a joy-filled smile, run a hundred miles just to give you a big hug because we haven’t seen each other in a long time. As a matter of fact, I have tried practicing this routine but my body won’t just cooperate. But does this mean I am not happy to see you? Of course not!

Despite the face, still happy to see you.

It is a personality trait. I am sure there is a handful like me out there who find it difficult channeling the joy we feel in our hearts to our faces. By default, my facial expression is usually ‘Numb’ and the flip side is when I am eventually able to channel that smile from my heart to my face, folks see it as pretense because I hardly do so. “Wow! so you can smile?”…Hello! Of course, I can. If only they knew how much work I put in to make the smile come alive. I do not know who offended who or what happened but something tells me my heart and face are at war because they never enjoy working together. Tragic!

I also get a hard time showing my joy when I am given a gift. I love gifts, lowkey I expect a secret Santa blessing me with gifts every day but my face would always betray me. “Common baby smile, show you are grateful cause you really are”… this is me trying to cajole me into smiling. Most times if my face does not cooperate,  I force it, I force that scream even though while at it my conscience pricks me saying “You know this is not you, shouting is not your style”. To hell with my style! It is really important to show that I really love my gift and that I am not an ungrateful goat and of course I want more gifts.

Me trying hard to smile to prove I’m not an ungrateful goat!

The world should cut people like me some slack, we are very happy people, trust us! Lack of smiles is just a deficiency on our path, maybe we will heal, maybe we never will. If I say a simple “Thank you”  to you and my face doesn’t accompany it with a fat smile, do not take it to heart. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it OK. Likewise, if you come visiting and my manner of welcome is not what you expect, it has nothing to do with you OK, I would not invite you if I didn’t want you around, capish? But hollop! This doesn’t give you the right to extend your welcome.

Read: Signs You Have A Chronic Resting Bitch Face
Chart showing how excited I can be on a scale of 1 to 10

Some people call it a resting bitch face, oh well, at least it has a name, perhaps a cure to come soon. I talk about it sarcastically doesn’t mean I like it. It bothers me and makes me too aware of myself and that’s one thing I hate to be. Anyone like me out there?

Do you struggle to smile?
Yes or No?x
Does your face look like you’re in pain even when you are happy? When you smile, does it appear like that of a serial killer or psycho?



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1 year ago

You are not alone on this one. Alot of people see me and say stuffs like ‘why don’t you smiel, why are you always angry, learn to out a smile on your face nd blah’ and tbh in my head I am actually keeping a very happy face. I try to make it a deliberate effort to always wear a smile on my face everytime but trust me when I say it is a real struggle. As for the excitement part, lol, someone once told me I wasn’t happy for her cause I wasn’t jumping when she gave me a… Read more »

1 year ago

I love to smile and show matching facial expressions when I’m given a gift or when I see someone I have missed so much. Sometimes, I try to form like I don’t feel shit but when the heart is true… Every other thing aligns without permission. There was one point in my life where people thought that I don’t smile or I don’t talk like when I was protocol department back then in school. I remember the first time I was in the midst of two girls and dropped a comment that made everyone laugh, they were shocked… Cos they’ve… Read more »

1 year ago

Even me sef shock by their shock … 😂

Bibi Mela
Bibi Mela
1 year ago

My folks don’t find my “resting bish face” funny! Like dang! I’ve explained countless numbers of times that I’m not mad or upset or something, but they don’t just get it! Like, I don’t get myself, am I supposed to wake up early in the morning and have a smile automatically plastered on my face!? That’s my resting face Bish! 😂😂😂

9 months ago
Do you struggle to smile?" Read more »

Yes. I do. But unlike yours which sends an erroneous signal of arrogance, mine sends an erroneous signal that I’m a manic-depressive to people. (and I’m not).

6 months ago

Thank goodness!!! I’m not alone.

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