I have noticed people open up more about certain experiences when someone talks about theirs first… so I am going to recall an experience that got me stopped dead in tracks; so shocked and mum! You probably might have gone through something similar or have felt how I felt in an entirely different scenario.
It is a very short story. I have only told one person about it and maybe telling more people could be a good thing. It was during my first year in school, I was staying with my elder brother in the same house at Mushin, Lagos Nigeria. One particular night about some minutes past eight, I went out to get bread for dinner. I stepped out of the gate and was about to cross to the other side of the street but a bike was approaching in my direction so I decided to wait until it passed.
The bike man approached with so much speed where I stood, reached out with one hand and gave my boobs a tough squeeze and then continued speeding. I was shocked. He turned back and stared at me with a grin stoked up with mischief. ”You are mad!”… this was the best thing my weak voice could say.
I was really affected, I bought bread, and went home but I couldn’t eat because my appetite was long gone. I felt dirty and angry. I had already showered before I left home but I went back to the bathroom and spent close to ten minutes washing and scrubbing my body. The scene would not leave my head, it kept replaying over and over. I felt stupid for how I handled it. I should have pulled him off the bike. I should have thrown more insults at him. I should have picked up a stone or something… so many instances of what I could have done but what a shame, I did none of it.
My brother came back from work and noticed I was dull but I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. I just felt dirty, like his hand made an imprint on my boobs that could never fade. It was a shitty night for me. I made a decision of giving myself a 6 pm curfew for the rest of my stay with my brother to avoid madmen roaming the street.
It happened a long time ago and I have gotten over it. After that another happened, I was on a bike and one other idiot on a different bike reached out to slap my butt. These two incidents made me realize some people are just plain mad and I cannot be held responsible for how stupid they are.
The funny thing is until writing this, I didn’t tell my close friends except one because of the fear of getting flogged with words. I wasn’t in the mood for the ‘If it were me’ talks and blah blah bullshit. Frankly, if I were in their shoes, I would scold whoever the same way and probably ask why the two madmen went scot-free without an injury in their left eye at least. But here we are, I did nothing. Knowing you did nothing hurts and sitting all by yourself with so many scenarios of what you could have done becomes a pang of regret that lives with you long enough.
Like I said earlier, You probably might have gone through something similar or have felt how I felt in an entirely different scenario, how did you handle it? Are you okay now?