My First Sex Experience: Pleasure and Gateway to my Insecurities

Every girl’s dream or should I say most is to wait until their wedding night to serve their cherry on a gold platter to that special someone for a pop. I was like most girls but my race was cut short after I stumbled upon his cute face. He had the most amazing smile and set of teeth I’ve ever seen and to crown it all, he was a senior member of the beard gang association… Oh, how I love beards!

Shortly after I gained admission into the university, I ran into Mr X, we had a lot of things in common which made our friendship kick off at a fast pace. We were inseparable and did almost everything together, including studying. He was consistent with checking up on me and always ensured I was comfortable by dropping gifts and goodies frequently. We both knew we wanted more than just basic friendship, but he had a girlfriend so it was a red flag. 

Catch Up On Our First Series

A new session began, and lord knows I couldn’t wait to set my eyes on him, I had missed him so much. Sometime during the holidays on one of our long phone conversations, he mentioned he had ended the relationship with his girlfriend, I was excited. As we kicked off the new semester he asked me out, I guess you already know what my answer was. 

Virtually every chance I got, I ensured my lips and tongue underwent a journey all over his lips, accompanied with some sexy lip bites…yes I love kissing, shoot me!!! and being a chairlady of the big boobs gang, I showed a little cleavage and skin whenever I could.

For the first few weeks in the relationship, we were touring only the north region and never went down south. Although he made few attempts I always repelled his wishes mainly because of the scary stories I heard about how messy and painful first sex is. I wasn’t ready for such pain. Weeks went by until I brought myself to terms that it had to be done. O boy! I tasted the forbidden fruit and I could tell already that it was going to purge me because I was definitely going back for more. Although painful, my first sex was sweet and worth it.

I was a 19 years old girl who was deeply in love and felt it was the right time. I understood the implication of my decision. Prior to losing my virginity, I never saw myself as a jealous or insecure girlfriend but afterwards, these sides began to show. It seemed as though every girl I saw him talk to or hang out with was trying to replace me. Something in me felt like he had had the cookie and was ready to move over to the next available one. Crazy insecure thoughts right?

I couldn’t let him in on what my insecurities were to avoid looking desperate, God forbid anyone should perceive me that way. My insecurities built up and caused a huge dent in our relationship. I doubted every move and words he said and you know being in a relationship where one party doesn’t trust the other creates way for doom. After several attempts to make things work, we came to the conclusion of going our separate ways though we still remained friends. 

Looking back, I wouldn’t change anything even if I had the power to because every act shaped me into the lady that I am now, and truthfully I don’t think it would be fair to deprive my younger self of all the enjoyment I had. With him I had my best sexual experiences. 

Sex is not overrated, it is a beautiful experience and opening yourself to another being especially someone you’re deeply in love with is amazing. I used to think that I was a sex freak, and can never go celibate because whenever I was with him I can’t seem to keep my hands to myself but look at me now, I haven’t been with anyone in over seventeen months. 

If you’re still flying your V-card (still a virgin) and you’re caught between crossroads on what to do, don’t compromise for anyone whatsoever. Whatever you do should be on your own terms. 

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