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I am Muttering

My First Sex Experience: Take Back Home…

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5 min read

Finally a wrap on our First Sex Experience Series. Aaaaaahhhhh!!! Drum rolls!! Belly tingling💃💃 and plenty of cheerssssss🥂….lol😁. The stories featured no doubt were a roller coaster of so many emotions ranging from pity to relief, gross grease to triggers, fragility to laughter and of course lessons. So tell me, did you learn a thing or more? 

Lessons cannot be swept under the carpet after getting an undiluted portion of people’s lives, so I’ll go first. Before I proceed I would like to especially thank those who submitted their stories. You see, penning the story is not the actual deal here but finding a balance with the courage to look back on the gory scenes ( to those who had an unpleasant first time), details, emotions and then carving a silver lining is everything. THANK YOU. Also, my sincere apologies to those who I couldn’t post their stories, the fault is on me, your stories were good enough. I undermined the turnout, I placed only a week for the series because I didn’t think many people were going to share their stories but the turnout surpassed my expectations. 

first time sex
Lessons cannot be swept under the carpet…

Now The Lessons

One of the purpose of the series was to prove if some sex myths are real, some of which I included while announcing the series. However, reading through the stories, I came to the conclusion that they are not myths but actually facts although not evident in everyone’s first time. Below are some of the things I learnt;

  • Change The Narrative:  Dealing with abuse is tough. If there is any lesson I wouldn’t miss from the first entry, “A ‘Red Episode’ Turned ‘Fairytale Romance” , is the strength shown by the writer. I admire her for taking charge of her memory, how she was able to forgo the first experience and clinched to the better second is everything. Asides sex, I most definitely will replicate this act going forward, choosing to see only the good and burying the bad.

first sex experience

  • Be Mindful Of Who You Keep Close: From Abuse To Addiction’ is a biting epiphany. It proves that many people molested at a tender age were either  molested by relatives or close parties. I will end this by quoting what a follower on Twitter, @oshiombo_alaka said in reaction to the story “What is happening to your children when you are away from home? Are the people you entrust your children with worthy of the responsibility? The failure to promote moral uprightness will hurt every one of us. Are you willing to stand for what is right in everything around you?”

first sex experience

  • Pain, Joy… And The Clingy Bits: One story that checked some of our proposed sex myths is ‘Pleasure And Gateway To My Insecurities’. The writer having acknowledged the pain and pleasure lets us in on the aftermath of her sex experience. Despite admitting to having her first sex with someone she was heels over head in love with, she found herself getting insecure and clingy and that became the death of the relationship. It made me realize that most break-ups that occur after a girl’s first sex might not actually be because the dude got what he wanted but because insecurities and incessant fights play a vital role.

first sex experience

 

  • A Rise In Ego: hehehehehehehe… yes, I am laughing and if you followed the series you can easily figure out the culprit story. Yesssss…‘Teenage Sexventure Gone Wild’. The writer was apparently the only one who decided not to play anonymous and rather than judge him, you end of having a good laugh. He checked one of our sex myths, ‘ego boost’ for men. Most men had their ego a step ahead after laying with a woman for the first time. In Joshua’s words… “Socially my circle of friends changed, I stopped hanging around my mates but with the so-called big boys who introduced me to alcohol and more sex…”

first sex experience

 

  • For You Or Society: ‘A Tale Of Two Rookies’ takes off the cloak on celibacy and virginity. Do you understand the importance of celibacy and keeping your virginity? Or you are one of those lost in society’s yardstick for measuring virtue. Why celibacy? What happens when you do or don’t? Everyone ought to have a meaning for themselves, not just jumping on the bandwagon.

first sex experience

 

  • Curiosity Killed The Cat: Ideally reading the title ‘Taste And See…’ one is curious to know what the writer tasted and found out. Did he taste sex to become an addict or did he taste sex to flee? You never know until you read. If you are curious to know how sex feels chances are you’ll end up regretting your first try because of the many expectations you had. 

first sex experience

 

Observations/ Suggestions

Special thanks to everyone who ensured good publicity for the series by posting daily updates via their social media handles. Despite the sensitivity surrounding the word ‘sex’ and backlash from rigid minds, some of you kept publicizing regardless. Sincerely, I’m taken by your kind gesture.  

While the First Sex Experience Series was on, some parties who were unable to catch up asked if there was an e-book available for download. So I got thinking, should we create an e-book for the series? Perhaps it will also be a good idea to include all the stories that didn’t make it to the website. On the other hand, I feel the individuals who have their stories featured have a huge role in deciding whether or not. Please let me know your opinion in the comment section.

first sex experience
Spot the Logo on the book cover!!! Art by my beloved friend Onyinye Okechukwu. She is a video editor and a digital artist…and also a full-fledged Mutterer

Now the deal with the comment section! I’m curious to know why you read and zooooooommmmmmmm… are the articles so uninteresting and not cogitating enough for me to get your feedback? Remember it’s Muttering Minds, if you don’t comment your reservations here, where else? So shall we…? Let’s start with the lessons you learnt from the sex series, One! Two! Ready! Go!

 

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solchibuzor
solchibuzor
1 month ago

Bravo! It is a end of what I assume would be the beginning of many series around topics which the society usually leaps over, because of their moral ambiguities. I enjoyed reading the series, and I think there is an unloading feeling that follows being able to tell the tales that one way or the other shaped how you behave today. So kudos to all the writers. I also think if the individual writers permit you, you should do an eBook. It would be nice to have access to the collection at a click of a button. Looking forward to… Read more »

Olabayo
Olabayo
1 month ago

Your stories are really encouraging besides I had to use one of your stories to advice a friend of mine whom I just met.. I am actually in total support of the book.

Silas
Silas
1 month ago

I appreciate the fact that you took time to write on this series extensively, people were able to share their various experiences which I was able to also learn from.

Different things happen to different people and in unique circumstances which is evident from the various stories that has been shared on this platform.

To some peeps in reality, it’s all baby steps as you go from failing to success and learning from more failures. You have to learn how to crawl before you can stand up, fall down and then stand back up in order to learn to work.

Wammy
Wammy
1 month ago

I personally enjoyed all the stories in the series. I think the ebook wouldn’t be a bad idea. I must really commend muttering mind for the good job… You’re doing well *in Mr Macaroni’s voice*

Eke Chidiebere
Eke Chidiebere
1 month ago

Amazing read, very interesting! I enjoyed it, well done!

King
King
1 month ago

I read the articles but I commented not.
However, it will be a great idea to have the series in an e-book to serve as a compendiun in such sensitive episodes.

This will open some professional doors for you beyond the boarder of Nigeria.

You are doing a great job.

Wana
Wana
1 month ago

It was an interesting series and also very realistic for me. What even made it better is the fact that they’re real stories from real people not just an imagination from the mind of the writer. You should totally make an ebook out of it

Father of Many Nations
Father of Many Nations
1 month ago

Tbh, I am already looking forward to the next series. I enjoyed reading every story on this series and I feel the eBook idea is a great one. Kudos to all the writers 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿

Cupid
Cupid
1 month ago

🔥🔥🔥
I must say thank you to the writers and to the blogger for sharing such beautiful experiences, it was truly worth the read.
God help us as future parents to look after our children so they don’t fall into the wrong hands.
Something I picked from this series is- only have sex when you are mentally ready for it so regrets don’t set in.

And I say yesssssssss to the ebook

Ify
Ify
1 month ago

I enjoyed all the stories in this series, and yes i think is a good idea to create an e-book for the series, and i look forward to more interesting series like this.

Onyii
Onyii
1 month ago

Yayyy!!! I got featured and my art is a confirmation that you should totally have an ebook.
Now to the series, it was worth every read, every minute. I learnt o, hearing other people’s experience made me realize my thoughts and feelings back then were not weird.
A question I’m not sure I’ve answered. Sex is not overrated when it’s with the person you love its mutual, not one sided.
Well done mutteringminds. Looking forward to our next series.

Eh hen, you all should follow me on ig o, @onyii.okey … muuaaahhhh!!!!!

Bubu.
Bubu.
1 month ago

After a hectic day, there’s no better way to end my day than binging on muttering minds. Well I’ll start off by saying Kudos to all those who shared their stories and experiences, they may not know how helpful and insightful their shared experience might be to the next person. Someone may be going through a similar situation and have gotten clarity on how to move forward. Thanks to muttering minds for this platform which have given a lot of people the voice to speak out what may have been eaten them up for years! As for the e-book, I’m… Read more »

Obama
Obama
1 month ago

Well done
I got from feedback from people who kept reading the stories but they’d rather not comment for whatever reason.
I’m also glad that some of the writers tried to to stay in touch with themselves when telling their stories, it helped people like us gain lessons from them and not just relate to their story.

E book is totally not a bad idea at all, it’ll even reach more people.

Vandy Seyi
Vandy Seyi
1 month ago

The idea of a series is nice, seeing as people have different perspectives on an experience or issue. An opportunity to vent and also for people to learn

Tai
Tai
1 month ago

It’s so nice to have a wrap even though I was looking forward to more stories.. I must commend the brain behind this whole magic…gathering that we are in a society that most times wants to remain traditionally driven… But I guess a wide range of people would have learnt one or two things from these series… As for the E-book, I think it will go far…as long as the take homes are well emphasized on and also the writers would be given another chance to add more flesh to their story… Perhaps an interview with each of them on… Read more »

Uka-amaka
Uka-amaka
1 month ago

Did i enjoy the series, hmmm… hell YES. I loved it, learnt a lot from it and happy i could actually get different views from different individuals. I even imagined some of these events happening and knowing cruel things happen like being raped at a tender age when one have no idea of what is going on is really sad (they should have allowed them grow and fully experiment na especially for the guy😁). I shared these stories with some people and a friend of mine made a big decision which i am proud of. Making an e-book will be… Read more »

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