I am Muttering

Seeking Forgiveness can be Exhausting

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2 min read

There are ways we ask for forgiveness that can be really exhausting

It is very surprising and disheartening when we offend someone we are really close to and they remain recalcitrant in forgiving us.  At the initial stage of begging forgiveness, it seems normal. Maybe they don’t want to appear easy, maybe they want us to know how offended they really are, hence the protraction. We think. So we keep pushing, sending mutual close parties to them, writing sorry texts, showing up at their offices, etc. just so they can be back in our lives.

Suddenly we realize such little drops of water have become an ocean. From one day, it’s got to about three weeks and counting…then our senses become alert. We stop to focus on the hurt that we caused them and begin to focus on how cold they really are. Goodness! Who would have thought! At this point we begin to beg for forgiveness alone, not to revive the friendship. We replay the events of how it happened, what led to what, we put ourselves in their shoes. If it were me, would I still be angry despite umpteenth pleas? Would I not give him/she the chance to talk things over? So this lady (guy)  can actually do without me for this long? Was our friendship actually valuable? Our answers to these questions make us even soberer.

forgiveness muttering minds
At this point, I’m like “Whatever…”

Many times we are angry that we were hurt by someone and the person didn’t beg us for so long. ‘He annoyed me, and said ‘sorry’ for some time and that was it’.  

The truth is not everyone can withstand the heat that comes with seeking forgiveness. Normally its exhausting no matter the crime one is guilty of and then it is more exhausting getting several doors shut at your face. How long do you intend to keep them begging forgiveness? It’s not in everyone’s DNA to flaunt soberness in your face but it doesn’t mean they are not sorry. They have done the best they could and now waiting for your turn.

READ: Apology is not a Currency

You might want to leverage on the fact that people hurt differently, I get. Its the same way at seeking forgiveness, we react to the routine differently. I am not a fan of shutting someone out completely because they hurt me. No matter the gravity, I want to hear them speak even though it might be their last. You don’t shut people out completely, that‘s trauma! The more they plead your forgiveness, the more exhausting it becomes and gradually the whole essence loses value.

In my opinion, we all have our unique ‘forgive language’ just like we do for ‘love’.  If its a crime I can easily forgive you for if put in your shoes, I see no need why I have to be head over heels in seeking your forgiveness.  

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3 years ago

I don’t think I’ve ever offended anyone to the point that they find it hard accepting my apology or peace offering.

But if it gets to that point, whether I’ll continue to tender an apology or not would be determined by how serious I deem my offence. I can’t kill myself….

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