So one Saturday morning while conversing with my younger brother on the phone on some house gist, we were having some good banter until he asked out of the blues…“Marvin said I should ask if you are at Onyi’s marriage introduction.”
Hmmm! In split seconds my brain literally bounced. I didn’t know how to feel about the question but a huge part of me was definitely confused. First! Which Onyi…Second! Would the Onyi I know keep me in the dark concerning her introduction?
In the wake of my confusion I managed to ask “Which Onyi” He answered rhetorically “Which one before?” It was actually the ‘Onyi’ I knew. “Ooooooo, I’ve been very busy, but mehn I am so counting down for the wedding”…this was me feigning that I was aware but couldn’t make it. I mean I had to do that.
After the call, l started to look for every reason why she wouldn’t have told me. I began buying various excuses on her behalf. The only thing I could lay hold of as tangible was that she always complained I was too busy and was fond of last last-minute decline of invites. That was it right? Even if it might not have been, I had to choose it as my truth.
“Well introductions are not so important, Its the first official meeting of both families…the wedding is the big deal” this was me still consoling myself even if she still hasn’t told me till date🙂.
More often than not, we are pissed when we hear something about our ‘friends’ from someone else. We cannot wrap our heads around why they didn’t tell us, but wait! before you scream betrayal, How much of a friend are you to them, compared to the ones they told?
A person might have a hierarchy of ten close friends, and has a slot for three, how do you think they will make their choice? Of course, it has to be the top three on their list and if you happen to be number four, sorry!
Looking from another angle, we all have different ways of processing information. If I got a heavy gist to share, I know the friends to tell immediately and the ones to tell later after the dust has settled. It doesn’t involve hierarchy sometimes.
Likewise seeking advice on certain issues and ideas for upcoming projects, I know who to call among my friends.
At the end of the day, it’s different friends for a different case for me.
You will be surprised to find out where a person places you in their lives but most importantly respect it. If a friend doesn’t tell you about something it’s not an avenue to get angry or go ahead to confront them.
As much as it might hurt, it’s was not your time to be aware. Wait for your turn no matter how close you think you are to them.
Well…they might never tell you afterall😎.