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I am Muttering

Why we Keep the Good Ones At Bay

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3 min read

In a world where the good ones are almost extinct and everyone seems to be looking out for themselves, it’s hard to tell that a good person is actually ‘good‘. 

Paranoia keeps getting in the way; ‘Perhaps she’s faking it’, ‘He feels to good to be true, maybe he’s just after knowing what the cherry tastes like’, ‘Is it not ladies? she’s just after securing the bag and a ring’... and the adjectives keep going on and on.

But are these really our fears? Maybe they make up a fraction of it but what gets the largest share? 

It’s cringe worthy for most of us when we notice a certain ‘somebody’ trying too hard to get close to us. We would nag the hell out of our friends, narrating how this ‘somebody’ calls us at every point of the day, how they meet our needs without hesitation, how they care too much, most importantly how we are fed up of their recurrent goodwill. It’s very appalling, isn’t it? we cannot point out why something good gets us really irritated.

In my head yesterday, I was reminiscing on the really good ones I have met and what went wrong. I realized they fizzled away, they just happened to not be there anymore. It wasn’t that they got tired of being nice, it was because subliminally my entire being became very resistant to all their dose of kindness.

Like the saying ‘You can’t give what you don’t have’, this was different, I wasn’t giving and was also resistant to receive. I realized that we cannot enjoy fully what we can’t give. You might think that you are having a grasp of enjoyment to the detriment of another but your conscience will prick you at every opportunity until you let go.

good people
Not just scared that they might be faking it, but more scared that they are real.

Niceness should not be a social shock but unfortunately, that’s what it has become. That we have been taught there are no good ones on earth except they want something is not enough reason to fight it when it graces our way.

The truth is we are scared. Not just scared that they might be faking it, but more scared that they are real. In fact, we accept they are real but yet push them away because their niceness is a threat to who we are.

READ: Why do people say that “good people don’t last”?

“How can a person be selfless, are you Jesus?” this is me trying to talk the nice ones I’ve met out of it. I give them every reason why they cannot be good or at least should be a mix of both ends. I tell them how I suck at loving just so they leave me the hell alone and when they don’t, I fuel my un-niceness towards them.

I don’t know about you, but the actual truth and what makes up the largest share of my fears is that I know I cannot be as good to them as they are to me. I prefer that they remain at bay now that it’s early before they ask a measure of love I cannot proffer.

I pressure it’s the truth for all of us, we may not know it or refuse to accept it but subliminally this makes up a larger part of our fears in dealing with good people.

 

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Mykel Oche
Mykel Oche
1 year ago

Most good guys are boring and nobody wants to be in a boring relationship. Same goes for good girls.

Ezeugo 1
Ezeugo 1
1 year ago
Reply to  Mykel Oche

Define boring

Ezeugo 1
Ezeugo 1
1 year ago

“I know I cannot be as good to them as they are to me” this sums up everything. Most people forget that they have to work on themselves first before they complain about others.

Bubu
Bubu
1 year ago

Some people have been hurt and disappointed several times in life and so put up a guard in other to avoid reoccurrence of their past and when a good person comes by they can’t tell and even if they can, they don’t want to believe that such goodness is still available in this world.

Amaka
Amaka
1 year ago

I think often times is as a result of what they have experienced in the past, some people are used to humans who act so nice and then suddenly they change for only God knows what , so sometimes people sort of put up these walls cause they are trying to protect their inner peace and not get used people always been good to avoid the heart breaks that comes with it.

Vandy Seyi
Vandy Seyi
7 months ago

The level of reasoning and thought it took to put this together should be commended

Obama
Obama
7 months ago

Quite thoughtful.

Whats more important it’s that we ought not to be naive and also be able to discern which favors to accept and which decline.

The irony is, it’s the bad people that make us question the good people.

Silas Otue
Silas Otue
7 months ago

Well stated…

solchibuzor
solchibuzor
7 months ago

TRYING SO HARD TO BE BAD …I started writing about this a few months back and never returned to it. Have you ever been so good to someone that they left you because they just become afraid of that level of commitment? Some people just view this life as fleeting and so should everything else in between. I began to think and realised that we are so selfish that we want people around us not to be completely bad, but to be bad enough that if time came to walk away, we would find it so easy to walk away.… Read more »

Laura
Laura
1 month ago

I can really relate…most times we arent scared of the fact that they are fake buh that they are real…and real is almost impossible to come by these days

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