This might be the most selfish story you’ve ever read, but my heart wants what it wants. Hear me out and put yourself in my shoes, after all, we live in a dog-eat-dog world, right?
About two months ago at my workplace as a content creator, I met this awesome lady, Kemi. She is a young Nigerian lawyer who serves as our legal consultant and content vetter. Although we were both employed on the same day, I had resumed work immediately at our Ibadan office while she was freelancing from Lagos, not until 3 weeks later, she relocated to Ibadan to join us. To be honest, despite my being somewhat reserved around girls, I didn’t really like Kemi’s looks at first sight: she’s considerably shorter than me (I prefer taller girls), she’s black in complexion (I prefer lighter-skinned girls), she’s slim (oh, I love ‘em curvy and hippy and booby), and she isn’t that pretty without makeup (I have got a soft spot for natural beauty).
The first day was just a bland chitchat cum introduction. We talked about our origins and where we live in Ibadan. I told her how I got to live in Oyo State (through NYSC) and we shared our undergrad experiences and life after finishing school. We didn’t really talk that much that day because my attention was focused on the job on my table, which took me the whole day. Yelps, creative thinking, and writing can be so draining and time-consuming!
Surprisingly, despite her not meeting my “visual spec”, I found a pal and chatmate in Kemi. My talks with the guys revolved more around work, cause they’re my seniors, married, and were training me for the new job I had just started with the firm. So, Kemi brought in some spice to my boring work life. Her table used to be next to mine until she was moved to a separate office. We gossiped about stuff like law and politics, our colleagues and boss, life in Ibadan, and one or two other personal stuff. Gradually, I’ve become attracted to her intelligence (you can call me ‘sapiosexual’, ikr), her sense of humor and sweet voice (my weakness, ugh! She has great command of the English language too), and her somewhat large dull eyes (I somehow love girls with big eyes lol, don’t know why). She has a nice personality and is resourceful in providing info on some of the things I ask (on legal matters and other stuff).
When she was moved to a new office, I was happy she’d gotten her own space, but was sad she was leaving my side. Absence they say makes the heart grow fonder, and this became my portion. Seeing her means I have to go over to her new office. This comes with the perks of being able to flirt and joke in her new space freely without the other colleagues connecting any obvious dots even though they can smell the fish as I more often spend many minutes inside her office before returning to my table (she vets most of my writings and I spoil her with fruit salads and movies which I download using our limited office Wi-Fi. Lol, crook like me!).
TO MAKE A MOVE OR MOVE ON?
The obvious truth is that feelings are beginning to creep in from my side (don’t know about her). I am not sure if I should make a move for her. I like to take things slow and steady, especially matters of the heart. Even though I’m more logical than emotional, I still catch feelings, dammit! Jokingly we address each other as “my office boyfriend” and “my office girlfriend” because the friendship bond between us is growing stronger. When I enquired about her relationship life, she told me she was no longer in the dating market (whatever that means), that she has a guy she’s serious with, and that she cannot even consider marrying an Igbo man (I’m Igbo) because of potential troubles from her Yoruba family. And that was the only straw that broke the camel’s back lol. I hadn’t even started to make my move and I had already got the inkling that it wasn’t gonna work. I was emotionally paralyzed. I wanted more than just office companionship from Kemi.
Actually, personally, I don’t think I’m yet ready for a committed relationship. I know I’m a proudly independent and a commitment-phobe (I’m kinda haunted by my parents’ dry and once turbulent marriage that I feel I’ll be a relationship tyrant like my dad.) which is probably why I’m still single at 27 with no committed relationship with a girl. It’s kinda frustrating, coupled with my stutter-induced introversion and brokeness lol (relationship and love for Naija na money o. No girl wants to date you if you’re not reasonably comfortable in life and if you ain’t gonna spend reasonably on her).
Also, It’s difficult to find an irreligious Nigerian girl for a serious relationship, though. Aaargh!!! This is the pain that we Nigerian atheists and agnostics experience when you don’t wanna have to compromise your convictions by dating religious women.
All I want from Kemi Is just an emotional closeness outside work (movie dates, walks in the park, restaurant outings, house visits, etc.) which of course will lead to a kiss and possibly I get to see her underpants and have her screaming my name when I smash her red potty with our bodies slick with sweat and desire. Hey, don’t judge me, please! In essence, friends with benefits is all I want from her, without commitment. While I have been thinking of how my friendship with Kemi would advance her to my bed, my nemesis caught up with me: emotional attachment. I’m starting to get possessive and jealous about her relationship with her boyfriend.
She always does video chats every blessed day with him in her office, and she seems to be happy with him. He earns more than I do in his working place, has a car he can borrow at will (I know a little about him because one of my ‘village people’ is his colleague). He’s also religious like Kemi while I’m an agnostic former church boy. Kemi once told me her boyfriend is often boring and I guess she enjoys my company as much as I do hers. But she finds it appalling that a young Nigerian man like me doesn’t give much thought to African spirituality and organized religion as a whole. Kemi seems turned off by my irreligion and has asked me out to church for company. I’m hesitant about accompanying a girl to church. It doesn’t end well for me cause I don’t get to date or bang her afterward. I’m not a fuckboy per se, but I don’t wanna be a religious woman’s wrapper or head tie either.
I WANT TO BE HER FIRST CHOICE!
I don’t like to be the second choice, just like everyone else. Thing is, as it stands now, I don’t even know what I want to do. I like Kemi and I keep fantasizing about her perky boobs and how they’ll feel on my tongue. No relationship strings! The emotions I feel for her can be enough, for now, maybe it will metamorphose into something beautiful but until then, I want sex and play buddy in Kemi. I’ve hinted to her about something more between us but she doesn’t seem interested or is waiting for me to shoot my shot, or just playing me?
There was a day she wiggled her bum for me in her office while dancing to some music, and I got confused if she was sending any signal or just messing with my head (Lol, that day I was so tempted to go over and grind her ass but I restrained myself). I’m so hooked on her friendship and nice persona. I mean, you’d say I’m trapped in the fucking dreary friendzone! Aaargh!!! Not again! Dunno how to explain how I got here with Kemi!
I’m aware she has a man but I want her so badly, not as a second choice. Common, I know I should be faithful to the bro code but mehn! It’s a dog-eat-dog world, right? Nigga’s are not smiling and I can bet that if the script was flipped and Kemi happens to be my woman, there’ll be some other guy who wouldn’t consider how I feel when he starts to chase her. Damn her man! I want her! Right now, it’s a ‘let the best man win’ situation for me. Yes her man has more money than I do, what if he doesn’t know how to fuck her right or give her the tender love and care like I can? If she truly loves him, why will she wiggle her butt in front of me? That’s so calling and I figure there’s more she’s not saying. Also, why does it seem like she enjoys my company too much as she’s always giggling at my jokes lol? Who knows she might like me back yeah?
Do you think I have a chance of getting any ‘benefits’ from our friendship if I continue to be in her face? Will it be too direct or creepy to request for such a benefit or does it happen naturally? Even though she’s not my spec, I cannot stop drooling over how it feels to have her in my bed. Niggas please help me!! when a lady has a man, should it be an automatic backoff or should I still shoot my shot? How do I get Kemi to be mine forever (maybe). Ladies! I know how funny your gender is, but from your knowledge, do you think Kemi wants me badly too but is only pretending? Please advise a brother, Leave your comments below 😪👇👇.
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