When it comes to topics that are affiliated with domestic violence, many of us would rather imagine in our heads about a scene where a man is seen hitting a woman. I guess it is a line of thought that follows the societal belief that women are weaker.
Many people have even concluded that it is never possible for a woman to abuse a man, and in light of this, a recent law was enacted in Nigeria, it was a law enacted to protect women from abuse, but this leaves us with one or two rhetorical questions, “Don’t men also get abused? Why is there no enabling law in Nigeria to protect men who get abused by their supposed wives?”
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Let’s keep that aside a little bit. Much recently, there was the case of Amber Heard, an ex-wife of one of our popular on-screen faces- Johnny Depp.
The defamation case between the formerly married individuals has left us with a lot of comments by fans of the duo. While so many were expecting to simply read up about the defamation of character, it became almost like a joker when audio tapes began to emerge. Lo and Behold, it was indeed a woman abusing her man. Sounds like a tall tale right?
The bigger question now is, “is it ever possible that a woman abuses a man?” The truth is that there are women who are physically stronger than the men in their lives. Yes, love is supposed to be all mushy, but on some bad days, it is very likely that such stronger women might decide to go all physical. In such a case, the man wouldn’t be a worthy match.
The Amber Heard’s case has led to a wide range of reactions, and from those reactions, we have been able to deduce that it is possible for women to also abuse the men in their lives.
What then should a man do when he is consistently abused by his own wife like Johnny Depp? If the man decides to hit her back in a bid to defend himself, does that make him an abuser? Or just another act done in self-defence?
Even more, we all know that within the Nigerian context, men speaking about an abuse seems more or less like countering their ego. It makes them look as if they are weak in the eyes of the society, and yes, a lot of people would laugh it off too.
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Recently, there was the Maryam Sanda’s case, a woman who stabbed her own husband to death, that case related to us how possible it is for some women to do the unthinkable.
How many men have to die before the average man realizes that speaking up sometimes is better than dying in silence?
Men are also a part of the society, but when would those abused men amongst us begin to speak up about the violence done to them by their spouses? Or is it another case of men enduring the hurts just to preserve their ego? How many more walk in the same shoes as Johnny Depp?
Very good topic. Its a bit of a delicate topic because one can easily be tagged as a male chauvinist or a misogynist for speaking out. I have been in a relationship where i was physically stronger but she will abuse me mentally and emotionally, she tells me i wont amount to anything, call me bastard and things like that…say things to me that hurt more than physical abuse and each time i wanted out she will cry and beg me and apologize then do the same damn thing again. the only solution i found was separation…with that separation came… Read more »
Well said. Sorry about your past too. Glad you were able to summon the courage to leave the relationship. If only men can speak out without the fear of being shamed or ridiculed.
When it come to domestic violence the society we live in today only see “women” as the victim, they never imagine men too can be abused. Once a woman come out go say she has been through whatever sort of abuse from a “man” nobody cares to know if she is telling the truth or if she is lying, everyone goes all out to support the woman. There are more men like Jhonny depp out there, more men facing stuffs like this and cannot even speak up. I think we as the society need to do better, the should be… Read more »
Am happy that a lady is saying this
Same here 💥💥
I totally agree with you. At the end of the day, we are humans and should be treated fairly and equally 👌
That’s the sad thing about it, many are quick to jump on the bandwagon cos it’s a woman whether it’s true or false.
Many have been falsely accused and persecuted for this same reason. I recall a lady publicly threaten to make a guy sleep in cell for long she wanted and that all she needed to do was fuck the police man. This is no joke…
This is bad.
Wow!!!!!🤨
A lot of men suffer domestic violence; they just grin an bear it. It’s emasculating for a man to complain that his wife constantly pummels him. This feeling of emasculation is aggravated by society’s expectations of a man: that a man is supposed to be stronger than, not just his wife, but all women. A know a woman whose long-suffering husband has endured years of abuse. Whenever they have an argument, she is the first to throw a punch. She often pins the poor guy against the wall or holds him in a chokehold while he struggles to break free.… Read more »
Very insightful feedback. I like the part where you said it’s not like the women are stronger in some cases, the men are just gentle. But ending the relationship though??? Did she show any tendency of anger issues?
Very insightful read. Most people suffer emotional abuse in relationships. Are these abuses also punishable by law?
Yeah true. For the women, Yes! But for the men, No.
Yea, men get abused by their women many times but who will you tell that to?
You would rather endure your fate …I was a victim, and my late Dad was too.
Even now, my ego won’t let me talk about them.
It is a scenario I won’t want to even remember.
Moreover, apart from physical abuse, men get mentally and emotionally abused by their women day in, day out. This is what result into men’s physical abuse on women many times.
Abuse is vice versa!
I’m so sorry about your experience, man. I can relate to what’ it’s like… ♥
Sorry about your experience. Glad you were able to move past it. Yeah! An abuser has no gender. It could be anyone 🤨
Recently a porn star was arrested on domestic violence charges. Her boyfriend was found by police with a swollen eye and a chunk of flesh from his hand bitten off. Ish is real
Wow! This chopping body parts off is what I dont get😐😐
This is sad but it’s the reality we live in and it doesn’t look like it’s ending anytime soon. We’ve been upholding a narrative and stereotype, that has ended up becoming an unrestrained weapon. The expectation of men to be the strong one is one hell of an expectation and its terrible cos we don’t all share same level of strength physically, mentally, emotionally and otherwise. Ironically, women are said to be more emotionally stable than men yet its the men who are meant to endure and tolerate every form of abuse which are mostly emotional. Even the laws and… Read more »
Nice feedback!I never knew women were said to be more emotionally stable than the men.
A sad reality of life, the same way the society tag men who show emotions as weak, is the same society that refuses to instill laws to protect a man from physical abuse. If a woman is being physically abused, the first instincts or advice given to her protect yourself; leave that toxic environment, or fight back, but we rarely hear the same when the table is turned. whether male or female if you find yourself in a toxic or abusive relationship, don’t hesitate to exit immediately.
Truly the sad reality! I hope good measures are put in place soon🤨
Let me correct the fact that the men are abused, not necessarily because the woman are physically stronger. There are men that would never lay hands on their women, no matter what she does.
I totally agree with you. Welcome on board Ifeoma, looking forward to more of your comments here💥💥