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Infidelity: The Struggle to Keep a Cheat

Writer- Amaka Enyinnaya
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2 min read

Sometimes when I see people’s opinions on marriage, love, infidelity and all that relates to a ‘union’, I often wonder how shallow-minded some can be.

So about the trending video on social media of a woman harassing her husband’s mistress in the mall. Well, I’m not dazed, every dick and harry had something to say as usual.

Before anything else, Why should anyone decide to have a romantic affair with a married person?  I really can’t wrap my head around this foul idea. It’s so foul, please!

First, imagine the pressure a lady gets from society to get married at a certain age, then she finds a man and realizes they are compatible and fair to tie the knot. Suddenly after marriage, a different phase of pressure begins. She is forced to constantly trigger her sensual creativity to dance to his tune so he doesn’t look elsewhere. What idiocy!

Nobody has an idea of what these married women go through to ensure sanity in their homes. They go through so much especially emotional trauma, imagine waking up every day knowing you have to always tame an idiot of a husband? Then from nowhere another woman comes in to ruin your marriage and some ignorant he-goat starts preaching to you on how best to react.

Mehn! They are allowed to react whichever way they want to. I saw a lot of comments inciting that instead of the side chic, she should exercise her wrath to her husband. Do you all know if she already did? Do you know how long she has been enduring his cheat game? Is it because there is no video evidence to that effect? 

We were able to see this side because there were eye-witnesses to record. How about the umpteenth time she woke him up in the middle of the night to talk and he didn’t budge? How about the nights she soaked her pillows in tears? How about the last conversation that broke the camels back?

Read: When A Man Finds A Wife…Who Should Be More Thankful?

We react differently to different things. A lot of men are dogs and can they can never be satisfied,  they won’t stop chasing what is under the skirt. If only some women can learn to reject advances from married men though. Well, it takes a certain level of discipline and a good heart but unfortunately not every woman has that. 

Now to the dimwits saying he had every right to cheat on her because she looks every shade of unattractive, get this clear, If dress sense and looks were the bone of contention in marriages, the likes of Cardi B and even the almighty Queen B would not have been cheated on by their husbands, so please spare me. 

Read: Kids Immediately After Marriage, Yes or No?

There is no excuse for cheating. Love is not enough, it takes commitment too. If you are not committed to the one you affirm your love, then there is every possibility you are a full-blown cheat.  

While with the ‘other woman’, before you take off those clothes, the moment they hit the ground, before you reach for a kiss, your mind at these stages must have flashed you several images of your wife. At this moment you know you are about to cheat, if you don’t have the decency to wear your clothes and leave then you are the problem, not your wife! 

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solchibuzor
solchibuzor
1 year ago

There are a million and one reasons men cheat, and none of them is excuse enough. There are however a very small percentage of women who didn’t know that the man they were about to marry would cheat on them, yet they married them.. “Hoping for the best but expecting the worst”. Well, it’s still not excuse enough. As I got to a certain age and still not married, I have come to acquire some knowledge about some women. A certain girl have done all but ask me to marry her, and I told her that I felt nothing for… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  solchibuzor

I don’t need to say much but ‘Thank you’. Like I just replied @Darius, I wonder the essence of court marriage if there are no implications for having extra-marital affairs. It’s very simple, do not marry them if they dont tickle your fancy! Period!

Gottfried
Gottfried
1 year ago

“A lot of men are dogs and can they can never be satisfied” You weren’t even trying to hold back

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Gottfried

Nah! No holding back😐

Ezeugo 1
Ezeugo 1
1 year ago
Reply to  Gottfried

Enough of all these stereotyping men as dogs. Who do these men cheat with? I guess fowl. Men cheat so does a whole lot of women. It’s just that women are good at covering it up. Most of these women see men that are actually good but because of their lust for money they would leave them for the rich ones who would take them for granted. Abeg Abeg Abeg!

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Ezeugo 1

I feel you. Sigh!😓😓

Steph
Steph
1 year ago

Woooo!!! The writer of this piece will make heaven ni ooo….I agreed totally with Er’thing said here… If babes can actually refuse this pussy thirsty men they would stick to their wives and make things work… and one human would still argue saying “the side chic looks sexy and shit” the likes of CardiB nkor?? I mean do you know what it takes the woman to keep up with the home, kids, the husbands need? And some loose themselves in the process so if it’s a loving man he would help her out, encourage her, if possible work out and… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Steph

Two points I really like:
* If the tables Turn.
*Everyone thinks they know something.

Thank you💥

Mama Jay
Mama Jay
1 year ago
Reply to  Steph

IF THE TABLES TURN🙌

Isaac
Isaac
1 year ago

All I have to say is ….hmmmmm

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Isaac

“Hmmmmmm”????

Darius
Darius
1 year ago

I don’t condone cheating but she crossed a line when she verbally attacked the young lady. If the lady hadn’t acted with restraint and maturity, they would have come to blows. If a woman cheats on her husband, should he confront her or the man she cheated with? The law has never penalized anyone for having an affair with a married person. If the case goes to court, do you honestly think the court would support the attacker or the young lady? What if the woman’s husband has other side chicks, would she go about fighting them? If a spouse… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Darius

I get your point, Thank you. You know people react to things differently right? Did you watch the video? Did you observe how broken she was? You have no idea what went down or if that was her last resort. Why exchange marital vows with someone if you know you’ll cheat? Sometimes I wonder the importance of court weddings if there are no implications set in place for such bad behaviour. Its about time a bill is passed into law concerning infidelity.

Darius
Darius
1 year ago

In Sharia law, infidelity is punishable by stoning to death. Maybe we should support the implementation of Sharia across the country.

In a country where polygamy and underaged marriage is allowed, there’ll be no law against infidelity any time soon.

Slim.
Slim.
1 year ago

Hmmmmm…. This is a very sensitive issue. What a conundrum!! Well I don’t need to talk much too About this , the truth is cheating is a bad habit that was formed at an early stage when one was exposed to sex from the first time. Environment, peers, and sexual orientation. Also, sex it self is a very powerful spiritual force, it takes only the ones with spirit of God (gift of the spirit) to have self control. Some men will tell her NO am married, I would have liked to do but am married, STOP.!! and mean it. Some… Read more »

Amaka
Amaka
1 year ago
Reply to  Slim.

👍👌👌👌

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Slim.

Well said! 👏👏

Mama Jay
Mama Jay
1 year ago

HE WHO FINDS A WIFE FINDS A GOOD THING… Find me a verse that says he who cheats on his wife finds a good thing🤔 (I will wait) I SAY THIS WITH EVERYTHING THAT MAKES ME A WOMAN… If you EVER EVER in your short while on earth open your legs to a married man YOU SHOULD BE TREATED LIKE A THIEF, KIDNAPPER, EVIL SPIRIT, POISON & the likes of “well y’all get my point”🙄 Then if you are a man who after waking up, chose a LIFE partner, takes her from her fathers house to GOD to bless you… Read more »

Amaka
Amaka
1 year ago
Reply to  Mama Jay

Exactly, no offence for cheating

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Mama Jay

No excuse! NO EXCUSE! File for a divorce if you have to. Thank you 💥

Maureen
Maureen
1 year ago

We have to look and digest the story from the three individual perspective.. 1. The side chick… I think this lady has a lot to explain and deserves to be disgraced by the wife.. She has no Darm excuses for her action, if she needed sex, money or whatever reason she will give, she could have gotten her own man. What in Gods name is special about anal sex? She deserve what she got wrongly. 2. The married man… Here is the center of the whole issue. Why can’t men stick their dick to one pussy. What does she do… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Maureen

Yes I agree with you. The man has a larger brunt of the blame🙂

Jimmy Davidson
Jimmy Davidson
1 year ago

This paragraph: “First, imagine the pressure a lady gets from society to get married at a certain age, then she finds a man and realise they are compatible and fair to tie the knot. Suddenly after marriage, a different phase of pressure begins. She is forced to constantly trigger her sensual creativity to dance to his tune so he doesn’t look elsewhere. What idiocy!” And this paragraph: “Nobody has an idea what these married women go through to ensure sanity in their homes. They go through so much especially emotional trauma, imagine waking up every day knowing you have to… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Jimmy Davidson

Long time Jimmy😊. I reckon with all you said but the part where you said “If she really love me, she will change”, you know people take advantage of emotions right?🤔

As for the lady’s reaction, that was the best way she could handle it I guess. Like you said, you can only speak for yourself. I appreciate your opinion on this. 💥💥

Jimmy Davidson
Jimmy Davidson
1 year ago

Take advantage of emotions?

What I have learned in time past and what I am very sure of is this:
To get someone to feel remorseful and apologetic for something ugly they had done to you, the most potent way to go about it is to talk less and do less than you would have done normally with the person, while making sure that the fellow is aware of your anger.

It’s a paradox. And it requires maturity to understand and achieve this.

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Jimmy Davidson

I see🙂

Eris
Eris
1 year ago

Nice view by writer. I personally feel the way woman went about it is only justifiable by her emotions. There is no wrong or right way to deal with matters like this. Putting myself in her position, I might not act like her but that’s individuality. To her critics, not until you been through same emotional ordeal then you shouldn’t judge her or bring your moral compass to dictate which direction she should or shouldn’t take.

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Eris

Exactly! People react to things differently. Alot of people are judging by what they think they cant do. Wait until they experience the same thing😊

Oche
Oche
1 year ago

Cheating isn’t a gender thing, yes most male go the extra mile to cheat but at the end both male & female cheat.
I think the married woman was wrong to attack the side piece, what will that accomplish? Except for embarrassing herself in public. It will not change the man cheating nature, if this side piece cast he will move to another.
On another note the way married men cheat is disgusting especially newly wedded. Why get married when you are going to cheat the next day after your wedding.

muttering minds
Admin
1 year ago
Reply to  Oche

Long time Oche😊. Yes I agree with you, a cheat has no gender even though the society places the brunt on the men😐.

Been hearing the gist too about newly weds🤧🤧

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