“If I give you my all would you love me? Well, probably not because that goodbye kiss tasted like something that came out from the devil’s lips”.
I once said to my heart, “take me back to my first heartbreak will you?” It said no, for the memory like the night, is dark and full of terrors. But guess what, without a hitch, renowned Nigerian poet and spoken word artist, Banji Coker, brought back those memories with his latest EP ‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot me!’
What can you say about your first heartbreak? For some, it was the death of a loved one, and some the disappearance of true love from their lives.
Banji Coker’s ‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot Me’, capitalizes on the innocence of true love and the betrayal of love. He narrates his first heartbreak and the baggage it comes with. Is there a possibility of finding love again in the future? From his tone, we can see that the baggage is so heavy and it will take a lot of weight to pull it down.
The Life of A Broken Heart
Especially if it’s your first, heartbreaks triggered by lost love takes a long time to get replenished and Coker’s EP hit these areas in a subtle but piercing manner.
Look in retrospect, see through all the love you’ve entertained your whole life, there is always that one person who leaves you not only heartbroken but makes you question your esteem. Why did they go away? Was I not good enough? Who are they smiling with right now? Could I not have made her happy enough to stay?
‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot Me’ paints Coker as a total failure at love and worst off, a rookie in getting over it. This is also the story of most of us who for every time we remember, a part of us dies. In his case, Coker cannot remember to forget the parting kiss.
He is hurt and desperately looking for a remedy. “…because I have been going around in cycles trying to figure out what exactly is the right thing to do…”
How do Broken Hearts Heal?
Do broken hearts heal? Well, I can’t really say, maybe for some and that’s after a very long time. For the better half, it metamorphoses into a variety of phobia especially at finding love again.
Coker Voyages a web of delusion. He finds himself comparing a prospective love affair to his past, while unable to wake up to the reality that his lover has gone.
“With the little space between your teeth, you reminded me of someone I fail at forgetting. Then, with that awkward smile after, I knew you were a no go area”.
Many of us walk the same path as Coker. One heartbreak and we shut the doors completely. If we let in, we don’t let in completely, paranoia becomes the other of the day.
It’s always a tough one for our new significant other. They keep wondering where they have gone wrong and sometimes get their self-esteem trampled on in trying to love us.
My Five Cents: Rebounds do not work. If you are not ready to love again then be like Coker, make it a no-go area. He said “…You would think we would be so in sync but then again I can’t forget my history. I owe my heart such responsibility.” Love yourself enough to heal first before taking a step with love again.
Love is beautiful but never force a person to love you, if you see that they aren’t completely over their ex, allow them be. Don’t promise them love because you’ll end up nursing a baggage too heavy for your hands to carry.
Even though love is preached as kind, patience, and sacrifice, you must also bear in mind that it is at every corner waiting to embarrass you if given the chance.
‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot Me’ is a nostalgic smudge for anyone who has experienced true love and heartbreak.
Remember those nights when you had no one to call because explaining the situation does not do justice to how your entire being feels?
Remember those days when you hoped your phone rang and it will be their name on display?
Did you forget so soon the times you couldn’t eat but the only strength running was used to power those tears that trickled down your cheek?
Recall the times you fondled your pillow and ran your legs across the bed begging sleep to sweep you off your feet? But it won’t?
If you remember all these or at least one, free your mind, allow Coker take you on this journey of love and hurt. Hearty Cheers to those who have healed. Breathe! for solace is coming for you too seeking healing.
Note: It’s a four-part EP. This review is for one part alone, an appetizer to make you long for the rest of it. I’ll await your feedback.