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My First Sex Experience: A ‘Red’ episode turned ‘Fairytale’ romance

Writer- Anonymous
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4 min read

My first sex experience wasn’t the cliche ‘love struck’ thing neither was it passionate or sweet. It was a ‘red’ episode.

I lost my virginity at the age of seventeen to a guy way older than me. Truth be told, I actually did like him because he was nice or maybe it was all pretence. One afternoon after summer lesson I paid him a visit (a harmless visit, I thought), fast forward past the jokes and laughter, the mood became intense and the young man began to cajole me for “just the tip”. Young and naive or should I say a part of me was curious so I gave in.

Without full penetration, my hymen broke. The blood flow coupled with severe pains made me scream so much like a woman in labour. “Don’t worry, it’s better I did it at least it won’t be hard when you get to the university”, he said. No empathy whatsoever, he felt he was doing me a favour and my timid self couldn’t react. 

Read: Are You On Your Period?
first sex experience
No empathy whatsoever, he felt he was doing me a favour and my timid self couldn’t react.

Why did I visit? I messed up. In this part of the world where mental health is given no importance, it affected me mentally but I couldn’t speak to anyone about it. I became uncomfortable with sex talks, scared of the thought of penetration and cringed whenever I heard words like penis, dick or prick. Yuck!

My fears followed me to university, I hated guys to some extent, I could only cope in a relationship so long as sex wasn’t involved. I had sweet relationships but I usually would jump, scream, and sometimes cry whenever they asked for sex. This was how I scaled through several relationships in university.

first sex experience
Love me? but no sex!

Fast forward to life after university, waiting to serve ‘mama Nigeria’, I liked someone, he was crazier about me than I was though. He is smart, a spender(he had good money), liked to show his woman off, a good adviser, and a deep talker. No lies, I was blown away, which girl on earth wouldn’t want that kind of man?  Definitely not me. Even though at that time I was all about myself, career and tried not to make love a priority, I really liked him and he was serious about a relationship and settling down with me.

He said I was different, I made sure he knew my stance on how painful and uninteresting I saw sex and so all attempt to make love was a ‘No No’ until one fateful night after our ‘romantic beach trip’. After having so much fun, we got to the estate only to realize the entrance gate was locked so we lodged in a hotel.

Read: Personal First Time Sex Stories
first sex experience
One fateful night after our “romantic beach trip”

An unforgettable experience but he was a sweet gentleman. I knew I wasn’t ready but it just happened. I had to binge drink some alcohol to make me numb to the pains and his sweet words made me more comfortable too. “It won’t hurt, not everyone bleeds the first time”, he assured me.  The loud-soft scream I let out with my eyes shut ended the night. This was a few days after my 21st birthday. 

Sex felt overrated, I was indifferent and wondered if everything people said was true or possibly I had it with the wrong person. No, I didn’t look forward to another sexcapade but  I was in a relationship so it happened over and over. I was legit trying to at least enjoy it and have the experience people talked about. 

first sex experience
I was legit trying to at least enjoy it and have the experience people talked about.

Here’s something I figured, one could actually care and love you without sex involved, also, not every relationship should be all about sex. Although we broke up, we still keep in touch cause beyond the sex, we are both intellectuals and still discuss business and life. My childhood experience did have a grave effect on me but overcoming it is what matters. Glad I was able to meet someone who made sex worth trying again. When people ask me what age I lost my virginity, I usually say 21, because I have chosen to let that bad memory go away and stick with this beautiful one.

Sex is sacred for me. If you don’t love them, don’t sex them, especially if it’s your first time to avoid bad memories lurking. Even though I looked forward to candle lights, sweet savouring smell, roses littered in a jacuzzi for the first time, I believe it played this way for a reason. And hey, to virgins out there wondering if to try or not, make sure it’s  not because of peer pressure or empty talks.

 

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solchibuzor
solchibuzor
9 months ago

Wow! I actually cringed while reading about her experience. The effect of your first time on your mental health cannot be overrated. Sex isn’t just about penetration, for some people their mind and soul are first penetrated before their body is. And because of the promises they’ve made to themselves or they’ve received of roses and candles, and of moonlights and stars singing to them and of how seamless and painless it often is, when what they receive is completely different, it carefully buries itself in their psyche and tells them “trust no more promises of sweetness”. And there goes… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
8 months ago
Reply to  solchibuzor

Thank you Solchibuzor

Bubu.
Bubu.
9 months ago

The first sexual experience of most people is what usually makes or mar their sexual life. That is why, we should be mindful of whom we grant access to our bodies; as a first timer and afterwards.

Precious Ukaiwe
Precious Ukaiwe
9 months ago
Reply to  Bubu.

Very true

muttering minds
Admin
8 months ago
Reply to  Bubu.

👌👌 I feel you

Obama
Obama
9 months ago

I’ve never been a fan of deflowering a lady because of this blood thing and some stuffs I heard about it even though back then I use to hope of getting hitched to a virgin.
Hearing stuffs like this make me cringe the more…

muttering minds
Admin
8 months ago
Reply to  Obama

Awwww apologies for the trigger 😁

Anonymous
Anonymous
3 months ago

Mehnnn
I remember when I’d always tell him no to sex even before i said yes to him and he said he’ll try
Not even up to two months he cheated and broke up
Summary: whoever loves you would wait till your ready, sex is sacred
I dont see the difference between a girl who sleeps with all her boyfriend ( short term relationship) with prostitution i think the only difference is being paid

muttering minds
Admin
3 months ago
Reply to  Anonymous

😟😟😟 sorry about that. Yeah I’m with you on that one, if they love you, they will wait.

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