“oooh Maloo open your legs now…don’t let me injure you with this thing now, cooperate so it can go in😖”…Jules said, in a frustrated tone and tensed stare, I could tell she’s had enough of me. “Shhh, ishhh😣…ah! ah! Jules, it’s paining me😩…is there no other way😢?” I responded while I lay down, fighting my thighs from closing up on her fingers. God knows, I needed them to open up but my thighs played like the morning glory flower, it was a struggle getting them to stay open at night whenever Jules called. She thought I didn’t want to give in, but I couldn’t explain why we had to struggle our way through my vagina every night. Pathetic😞!
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This was our routine for more than a week, most nights I’ll cry and hope she forgets to call me up for it but no, Jules never forgot. She enjoyed taking care of me and will do anything to see I’m well and running. For me, the routine felt like exhausting my nine lives, getting them restored again only to die again the next night. Gosh😵! When will this be over😩😩?!
BEFORE THEN…
“Babe carry disinfectant pour inside hot water, siddon on top for like 10 minutes, all these itchings go stop in no time💁♀️”… oh Nelly, my roommate in sophomore year with all the ugly and good advice. Funny how her voice still replays very fresh in my head. I had been rigorously itching my vagina for days and needed a quick solution🥴. Nelly was always a go-to, but this time around, her solution wasn’t lasting. Despite her recommended disinfectant ritual (vagina steaming), the itching got even more intense that one time, I was tempted to use the cover of my pen to brush the lips of my vagina, hoping it will get better once and for all but no😭.
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After the unfruitful merry go round, I decided to pitch a tent in the hospital. “Doris *****! Doris *****!”… “Present Ma🗣!”, I responded hesitantly while raising my voice. If you’ve ever visited a hospital in Nigeria, especially the ‘general’ ones, you already have an idea of how the nurses scream names like uncultured vultures🙄. “It’s time for your swab, walk through the corridor and enter the last room by the left”. While I journeyed through the corridor, the word ‘swab remained restless in my head. I kept wondering what manner of murder I signed up for. Ah! Swab?🤔 Or did she say swap😧? I got to the room and met four female nurses, one instructed me to take off my pants and lay on the bed. “Your pants ke?! Why😱?”… my mind was bombarding me with questions I had no answers to😤.
I couldn’t find my calm🥶, I laid down on the bed with my pants off and the nurse approached me with an equipment that had a cotton bud-like tip. Apparently, that’s the swab. Immediately my facial expression got sourer🤢. “Errm errm, what do you want to do🥺?” I managed to confront the nurse with a jittery tone. “I don’t have time for questions, open your legs wide please😐”(of course rudeness is the only surgery general hospital nurses perform 100 percent successfully🙄)…Ah! immediately I jumped off the bed and started weeping. If a 6th party had come into the room, he/she would have thought I was about to be sacrificed for rituals. “No! No! I am not opening my legs, I want to go home, I am not doing again😫😫”, I fell in a pool of my tears while staggering to wear my pants and Jean. Afterward, I picked my bag and stood by the door, staring at the nurses. It was like the scenario of a child warned by the mother not to go outside but he feels crying will make the mother let him so he weeps till infinity hoping to hear “Okay…go…”
The nurses were confused. What sin could they have committed to warrant God blessing them with an adult who couldn’t take a simple seven-word instruction; “Lay down and open your legs wide”🤔.
“What’s wrong?” one of the nurses was kind enough to ask. “Please don’t put anything inside my vagina😫😫”…I yelled amid my crying profusely.
SOURCE OF MY FEAR
Zero thanks to Nollywood🙄🤡, a girl has sex for the first time or is raped in a movie and the amount of blood that trickles down her laps and soaks the behind of her dress is the amount of a mini- ocean🥴😵. And then the wails, no consolation prize could stop it😪😪. These movies messed with my childhood/teenage life, I hated sexual talk and could never have a successful fantasy of anything going close to my vagina; not even my fingers😤.
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And here I am, with four strange nurses, they better kill me because I’m not opening these legs. “Are you a virgin?”, one of them asked, I responded in the affirmative. “How come you have an infection?”. Well, I wouldn’t know🙄, not like I’ve been living a little in the ‘just the tip’ paradise with some boy anyway🙄. At that time, the hostel was a mess and my room was two rooms apart from the hostel toilet, poop flooded the corridor and there was no Noah’s ark to run to for refuge🤮. Dammit! the cleaners were on strike😩. Despite covering my nose whilst passing through the corridor, my pants were no bulletproof to save my vagina from receiving a bad gift😖. This was the only logical explanation I could link to me being infected. In the hostel, it was fondly referred to as toilet infection but the ‘too knows’🙄 said it was a Sexually Transmitted Infection. Who am I to argue🤷♀️?
Since I was afraid, the nurse told me to help myself but I couldn’t😔. I was so scared to touch my own body, what if I put it and blood starts gushing out and they can’t help🥴? I had a weird mental picture of things going south. Then she assured me they weren’t putting the whole swab inside, just the tip to get some fluid to run a test. With my heart in my mouth, I gave in😴.
AFTER THEN…
When the result came out, it was no news I had an infection, the only news which was in fact bad for me was that I was given vagina pills to insert daily inside my vagina🤯. Fucking hell!🤯 You and who😳?! I am a preacher of ‘complete your dose so the illness doesn’t come back’, but this was beyond me. I was going to discard the pills.
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On my way to my hostel, I called an older male friend who knew the whole ordeal. “Michael! I am dead😩! They gave me something to be putting inside, I can’t😩😫” I cried so much over the phone that people on the bus thought I must have lost someone. I wondered why I had to go through such, oh lord, have my sins overflown the cup you had to plague me with this😫? it appeared like a very severe illness to me, as a matter of fact, I had never heard of it until then. I went to Micheal’s hostel and that was when he called on Jules his bestie. I had met Jules on some occasion before then because we attended the same fellowship, unluckily for me, she was willing to help me😞. So sad, I needed someone at that time to support my motion of throwing the entire pills but no, elder Jules and Michael betrayed me☹. I packed my bags from the hostel and went to join Jules off-campus. It was an enjoyable time, asides from the first five nights where I had to open my thighs against their will so that Doctor Jules can insert the pills😖.
CARRYING MY CROSS WITHOUT SIMON OF CYRENE TO HELP
Finally, I became free from all the itching, it was time for holiday and I was home🤓. But guess who decided to not go on holiday? The Devil😢! About two weeks into the holidays, he plagued me with itching five times more than the last😩😩. Who do I run to😭? What if my mum thinks I’ve been having sex in school😭😭? Where the hell is JULESSS😵!! So many questions but the same answer. “Try Nelly’s advice again, maybe it could work this time”. Well, I did, but it failed🙄.
I had to tell my mum in a strange way. “Ah toilet infection🤯!” she exclaimed. I took a deep relief breath🥵, thank God, she didn’t call it STI😊. She agreed to go to the pharmacy for me. The head pharmacist spoke to me over the phone and said since the infection came back despite completing my dose, it means I didn’t treat my sexual partner. What rubbish🙄?! What’s with everyone thinking everyone has sex🙄?! “Ah no oooo😱! Which sexual partner😳?!” I made sure to scream. She gave a boring laugh and said okay, then it’s cause I didn’t change my undies. Why on earth was this not the first thing she said for Christ’s sake😐! To think my mum heard all that crap.
My mum got home, bearing a bad gift. Vagina pills again😞! Oh, dear Jesus save me😩! She handed me the pills and prescriptions. How casual it is to say, does this woman even understand that I can’t do this myself😫?
AN AMAZING DISCOVERY
To God be my glory, after lying to her that I was almost done with the pills yet suffering a grave itch on the side, I finally came up with a solution🤓. I remembered I had a large part of a broken mirror in my room. I reached for it, put it on the floor, and squatted. The mirror was in-between, while my legs were wide apart🤭.
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For the first time in my twenty-one years of living this earth, I saw a vagina😱, my vagina🤯! And what she looked like. “Ewwwwww🤮”, I cringed and started crying because I didn’t know what to do next😫. I felt like a failure. Where do I insert these pills🥺? God! So I reasoned to let out a few drops of pee on the mirror, wherever the pee comes out from should be my answer. To my surprise, the pee hole(urethral opening) was as good as a full stop😳. I never knew, I thought we peed through the vagina you know. As the angels would have it, I saw another slimy opening that looked more rational than a full stop🤓.
“Eisshh eiii🤢, uhmmmm😖”… so much discomfort, inserting the pills myself in the vagina opening. I did that for five days not without the help of the mirror though. Whew!
SEX EDUCATION AT HOME?
I have been binge-watching MTV Shuga…I know right😏, I’m late to the party😌. But it doesn’t overlook the fact that the series is very educational; one of the scenes made me recall this version of my past and also the sexual awareness preached by the parent actors to their children💯.
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Despite having to insert the pills myself, it didn’t make the sexual phobia (genophobia) go away😞. For a long time, I found myself cringing at the mention of sex or penetration🤢; those Nollywood rape scenes rented an apartment in my head for donkey years. I could never think of sex as pleasurable but too much blood and pain🤢. I couldn’t talk to anyone at home either. Kid you not, to date, the only time I and my mum were any close to talking about sex was when the pharmacists mentioned ‘sexual partner’. I somehow hoped that when she gets home, she will revisit the topic but apparently, she’s been practicing a ‘Fem’ ritual a long time ago even before Davido dreamt of preaching the message😊. Till today, some type of sex talks still feels discomforting but thank gracious Google’s always my first aid🤓.
I’ll like to know, do you or have you ever discussed sex with your parents or anyone in your family🤔? If yes or No, how does it feel😄? Do you wish any different😔? Also, like me, has there been a time where you found an amazing discovery concerning your body like I did with my vagina😄? If you’ve ever had a toilet infection or STI, how did you manage the phase🥺? And most importantly, did you ever pass through sexual phobia😖? Or you currently are🤢? What triggered it and how were (are) you able to deal with it? Let’s discuss this further in the comment section👇👇.
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Had me looking forward to the next line through out. 😂.
Oh well…it is what it is 😂😂😂 Glad I could wet your appetite😝.
Lol you really did.
Very insightful read. Emphasizes the importance of sex education. Being introduced to your body earlier would’ve saved you lots of stress and ofcourse averted the shock of discovering ur body when and how you did.
Yeah true. I wish I knew better and most importantly earlier💫💫
I really enjoyed reading through this. Keep it up
Thank you so much for taking time out Ella😄… this is the longest read on the website currently, I have been nervous since I posted it🥶. Glad you read❤
I really enjoyed it
Though personally, I sometimes feel uncomfortable talking about sex
That’s a good one from you
😅😅😅 thank you. Personally I feel we shouldn’t be timid or uncomfortable talking about sex really.
This write up reminds me of my experience with an STI.
One of the most uncomfortable things to do is taking yourself to see a doctor when you know say your waka no straight 😂. Especially when you have palmed the STI for so long bcos of shame and it had grown wings.
Ive never been faced with inserting anything inside of me. Injections and a series of antibiotics were administered to me when I couldn’t hold the itching and discomfort and ran to d doctor 😂🤣
😂😂😂😂😂 @when your waka no straight got me. Lucky you, I pray I never have to insert anything again 🥺🥺
😂
Muttering minds never disappoints! 🙌🏽 Your writing skill is amazing, I didn’t want the story to end 😂.
Our experience is kinda similar, I had a Jules, but her name was Blessing and she was a medical student who was my next door neighbor. So I had her at my Beck and call until I was fully recovered.
Regarding your question about sex education, most African parents would rather chop off their arm than discuss sex with their children 🤣. Thank God for my sister, she’s an open book, that over explained and even suggested lubricants.
God bless Blessing o😂😂😂… I’m glad you enjoyed the write up😄. Well, I wish I could relate that way with my sister but then 🙃🙃… I’m going to be sharing that part of my life soon with you guys, as it’s on the list of my upcoming topics.
@chop off their arm 😂😂😂😂
Wow this was breathe taking😪 and interesting 😮, well yes I have discussed sex education with my parents severally and yes I am still passing through sex phobia, because of the whole blood spilling thing, phew!!😖
😄😄 glad you enjoyed it. Wow about sex phobia, I understand totally, I still am too but I read up and watch some videos and promise my self not to cringe at the sight. It can only get better😄. You should try this too. And how about talking to your parents about it? I believe that could be reassuring too.😒
A captivating story with a unique plot twist at every turn looool….always a pleasure to consume your pieces
Thank you Nkechi😄😄
Lol, this is very interesting, I don’t why some parents rarely talk to there grown up children about Sex, assuming they do, it will go a long way in averting a whole lot of trauma one has to face while self discovering. I can vividly remember when I had a blister in my pubic region, so I suspected a toilet infection though I was yet to go for a lab test, I showed it to my mum cause she is a nurse, was actually expecting her to ask me some question as a grown up if I am sexually active… Read more »
😂😂😂😂 mama needs to be sure if to expect some grand kids or give you up for adoption😂😂😂. Sometimes I feel they know and think of these things, they are just too uncomfortable to talk about it because they never built the bridge.
This must be a coincidence…
I’m going for a swab test right now…
I can relate quite well…
Sex education we got at home was the typical ‘dont go near boys so you don’t get pregnant’ talk… Everything I learnt about the topic was from novels, self discovery and peers…
I vow to do better with my children.
This is quite insightful…
Thumbs up!
😄😄 this story must be made in heaven then. I am glad you are not scared. God knows I should have joined my namesake Uju in reading all those romantics in secondary school o rather than call her a freak 😭😭😭. See my life now😂😂
😄😄😄
I had lots of Ujus thankfully…
Became an Uju myself…
You write beautifully….
Your life definitely turned out well…
Can’t wait to discard all the old panties…
That’s the only instruction I dint follow. Reading this made me enter the market….
Got new sets today…
New panties to the rescue!
Alongside ‘inserts’ of course😒
Goodnight dear
🙂
😁😁😁 I’m all smiles. Glad this could help. Get well soon. Do have a lovely night rest Akudo❤❤
Interesting! And you left me with questions 🤣🤣. I won’t say I’m genophobic but I do have some fears about sex, not that I’m scared of it happening. My mum initially started with the don’t have sex conversation, till her friend once asked if I was still a virgin, I told her no and we all spoke about it, my mum was a bit shocked but was more concerned about the tribe of the lady 🤦♂️🤦♂️ and since then she just casually asks if I’ve been active sexually and always reminds me to use condom and be particular about who… Read more »
At this point I have to chip in the ‘wahala motto’.. wahala for us wey our parent no get friends like your mama o” 😂😂😂😂. Very nice of her friend to ask really. So Tife, what questions? 😃
Questions like where do ladies pee from a different part of the vagina than where they take in a dick? I asked a female friend and it appears that a couple of ya’ll don’t even know understand your vagina. Maybe we guys don’t understand our dicks too, who knows 🤔🤔
😂😂😂 I wouldn’t have known too, all thanks to my frightening adventure. The urethra opening is where the pee comes from while the vagina is where the Dick goes in lol; a slimy entrance.
Maybe we will go on some dick research too. You never know what we may find lol🤓
Loool All I could say at the end of this read was “omo” It was quite a struggle for you I’m glad you were able to learn a thing or two about your body. My parents really never spoke to us about sex in the raw and undiluted form, the least I and my siblings heard from my mum (after we had grown to full blown adults) were “anything you’re doing sha be careful”😂😂😂 probably because at that point she knew she needed to say something but still tried escaping the real essence of the speech, and as for my… Read more »
OMG!!! Your dad calls you ‘baby’😱😱… God when!! I swear your folks are way better, sure if you open up more they would too. From your comment I guess you are closer to your dad right? He must be very understanding especially having to play ‘Jules’ 😃
Thank you for sharing your opinion, I enjoyed every bit💫💫
Lol yeah right 🙃🙃🙃
🤣🤣🤣 with the first paragraph, I was already screaming ‘what is this o, why am I reading she and she instead of she and he, argh, this girl no go kill me.
Smiling like a fish with diff images playing in my head at the hospital scene. 🤣😂🤣
I’ve had basic sex talks with my mom but they are mostly with my sis and Google of course. Doctors should place more emphasis on changing undies after treating infection.
😂😂😂😂 Jules said the same. She said the beginning of the story read like she was always fingering me against my will😂😂😂 glad I was able to draw you in further.
When I have money, I will go back to that hospital and sue the nurses🥺🥺
Yeah I agree with you, not all doctors advise a change of underwears.
😂😂😂😂😂😂 I remember I had to pause the read after the fourth line, just to DM “ya mad” 😂😂😂
I was like WTF??! Am I sure I’m the one being mentioned in this story?
Brought back memories mehn. Thank you for letting me care for you 😊.
You’ll find my part of the story in my comment space😁
😂😂😂 thank you Julesssss… Doctor Julesssssss…maybe we are both mad😂😂😂
😂😂 This story got me laughing so hard. Reminds me of the first and only time I got an infection 😂😂 omg. Darkest days of my life. I thought my life was over omg. I had to deal with the judgemental looks from the nurses who insisted that it was an STI, I didn’t think it was but as long as there was a cure for it, I didn’t bother arguing with them. I was constantly on Google. Dearest Google, what would I have done without it. I couldn’t even talk to my parents or friends about it cause I… Read more »
😂😂😂😂😂 that walking weird part and it falling off happened to me too. After successfully inserting it I will now start walking like someone carrying the weight of the world inbetween her legs😂😂😂😂😂. And when it fell off I will wish it was a human being I could yell at and warn not to ever try such rubbish again 😂😂😂
Yeeeeeehhhh mirror gang gather here for a selfie, it’s not easy o 😂😂😂😂
I hope we do better as parents.
😂😂😂😂
I remember telling you back then not to get up once it’s inserted, “are you sure you’re ready to sleep? No moving around after this goes in”, aunty said yes, till it fell off one time and I was like ” comman lie dan here”, aunty wanted to swallow me with her eyes. “Jules don’t worry, it has done it’s job small na”, and I was like ” come on lie down”😂😂😂😂
Memories ooooo😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 that night I was like “what’s doing this one🙄🙄 shebi me that your helping dinor want again 😂😂😂😂”… But not on your watch will things go south. Grateful for the experience Julie, thank you ❤❤
Awwwnnnnn 😊😊😊
I feel blessed. You’re welcome 🤗
Hmmm!!! Words are plenty, opor to say… I used to have some “sex phobia” after some teenage shit that happened so I’ll literally argue and bounce on you if u wanna use prick to enter me or talk about sex, twas overrated (still is sometimes though) even so that, a friend that had mad feelings for me looked at me one time and said:” you need help Steph”. Down to talking about sex to my parents esp to my mom has almost or if not been impossible for me, right from lil, she talks and asks questions though buh may… Read more »
The sad thing about explaining genophobia to people is that they think you are just being dramatic. Most never get it, all they will say is “you are missing, something wey dey sweet”🙄🙄
African parents are like that, I will rather not start a conversation of any kind with my parents than be misunderstood 😂😂😂.
I’m happy to know you treat yourself as often as you can to avoid stories that touch. 😃
Nice write up.
I love your writing style…
I’ve never had to talk Sex with my mom, I even head about Menstruation from my friends in school when I was 12.
I still cant figure out why she never discussed it with me and my Sisters tho. Thank God for Chukwuemeka Google… lol!
Hmmmm menstruation is another entire topic. Even as important as it is, mothers shy away. I remember when I started seeing my period in boarding school, I didn’t know how to tell my mum over the phone. When I broke the news to her I said “mummy that thing you always buy for chich that is blue, I need it”. Glad she decided because I wasn’t ready to repeat myself 😂😂😂 Since then she’ll buy me pack of pads to take to boarding school. But we never had any lecture of it. I also remember my sister suffering from menstrual… Read more »
Ha ha… First off, It’s the plot twist for me. I had to read the first 7 lines twice before I proceeded.. Just to be sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me.. I thought Jules was a guy at first…
I’ve never had any encounter of toilet infections.
And yes, seems like I’m genophobic.
In this part of the world (Africa), parent don’t like to talk about the aspect of sexuality. And when they do, it’s in a stylish way. I enjoyed every bit of the story. Right now, my oliver twist nature has got the better part of me, Thankya!
Plot twist on skrrrrrr😁😁…Lucky you, your Vagina is very obedient 😁. Glad you enjoyed every bit Nuella
I read twice too!!!
Was thinking Jules was a guy…
Plot twist on point!
Juless is a lady with the heart of a man. I hope this works😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂
With the heart of a man got me. Do I really have the heart of a man? 😂😂😂😂
Sure you know the answer to your question already 😂😂
Gosh….I did same for the first paragraph…. I was like why she and she na or is there a mistake somewhere….Nice write up.
😂😂😂😂
Very interesting write up. My ex girlfriend had similar issues as well, so I understand you. As for the sex education discussion, I think the closest my mom came to talking about sex with me was when I newly gained admission into the university. She was like “you know you’re no longer a small boy, you’re capable of impregnating a girl at now, please be careful… 😂. To the writer, I hope you have overcome your sexual phobia?
Osheeeyyy Mr Capable 😂😂😂😂… our mothers and their stylish proverbs though. Well I’m getting a hang of the phobia gradually. It’s better than before😁.
Jules x Doris,
A relationship built on V.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 built on a solid V foundation but soaring on genuine friendship. Juless is a G! ❤❤
😂😂😂😂 wth
V what??! 😂😂😂😂😂
This gial concurred on V shaaaaa 😂
But finally that’s what gave us out first closure, and it eversince has been a worthwhile ride.
Doris na cruise abegg😂😂🙌🙌
😂😂😂 cruise vs cruise = cruisesssss😂😂😂
This got me laughing super hard, cos i could relate with almost everything. The first time i also saw my vagina 😂😂first expression was “ewwwww”. I use to have genophobia not until i had sex talks with my roommates bck in school and after that i started anticipating my first sex, couldn’t wait to see the pool of blood but unfortunately i was dissapointed in nollywood for making one think there must always be ocean of blood during the first time lol. But thank you for using this to remind us of how important sex education and awareness is.
Awww you are welcome Favy😁😁…Now I’m thinking to come to you for some lecture. 🥺🥺
You write excellently…I come from a too religious home where mentioning boys or sex is a crime… I grew up with sex phobia I was told if u indulge in premarital sex your life is “ruin” you can’t be fortunate but when I left for NYSC and friends are gisting about how they had good sex with their boyfriend I will be like I wanna try this shit but I don’t have boyfriend how will i do this so i had my first sex with a total stranger whom I dont have iota of feelings for, Africans parents can do… Read more »
I totally agree with you, African ‘elders’ as I’ll love to put it need to do better. It will save the younger ones from acting on their curiosity. By the way I’m happy at the confidence in which you owned up to ‘total stranger’, many would shy away for mentioning that👍. Thanks for complimenting the write up too😁
At first, I was wondering if I was reading some lesbian script, only to go half way and found out it was a therapist helping out a patient.
Such a suspense filled write up, thanks for being quite expository. I learnt a lot.
😄😄😄 I’m glad you learnt from my experience, and yeah suspense makes it worth the read right😊
The moment I saw my name being mentioned and the words that came after it, I was like “It can’t be my Jules she’s referring to”, “open your legs wider for me to do what??? “. And then it hit boom, Uni memories 😂😂. You’re crazy I swear😂. I remember receiving a call from Micheal stating he wanted to see me as urgent as a life and death matter. And I was like “you’ve started!”… First thing I heard on meeting up with him was, “I’ll need you to mother someone for me”. Considering how close we were, I couldn’t… Read more »
😄😄😄😄😄 I read every line of this smiling like a fish. I read “mother someone” in Michael’s voice 😂😂😂😂 something he’s so capable of saying.
You are one lady who I know grew very fast and too wise. Ah Jules! Words cannot describe how much impact you’ve had in my life. And the fights?! 😂😂😂😂… one part of our relationship we always sweep under the carpet😂😂😂😂… maybe I would do a story on that whenever my chi blesses me with a clear message😂😂😂. I love you Julieeeeetttt😄❤
😂😂😂😂Where is Michael oooo😂😂😂
You’re welcome darling.
Those fights mehn😂😂😂😂😂😂😂, the carpet will get all rusty and messy some day, and we’ll need to clean up and refurnish. Till then, I don’t look forward to it😂😂😂.
I love you too Doooriiiiissss❤️❤️❤️
😂😂😂😂 Micheal is tending to the Lord’s vineyard. He doesn’t have our time😂😂😂
Oh carpet do not over flow…Amen😂😂😂
Julessssssssssss! 😍😍😍😍
I’m right here😁🤗🤗🤗
Great write up Doris! Now, to the issue of discussing sex and private body parts with kids especially with parents of the older generation has always been a thing of almost a sacrilege. They left us to figure out thing for ourselves not minding the repercussions. I remember when I was on a ride with my dad and the radio was on. The OAP said something like “what age is the right age to start teaching your kids sex education?” If you could hear the mighty “shuttop” my dad yelled eh…I almost opened the door of the moving vehicle to… Read more »
😂😂😂😂😂 the “shuttop” read so loud and harsh in my head. He go like comot the OAP teeth just now 😂😂😂😂
Must the answer always be sex! What happens to linking it to stress, poor diet etc. I can imagine if your mum didn’t know better 😂😂😂 family meeting 1.0
Aswear down! Family meeting on top the matter o. Walahi, if he could see that OAP….I reserve my comment🤣🤣. The general hospitals are just in a rush to get all cases closed.
Omg this was fun to read. It was so hilarious and raw.
😂😂😂 it’s a pleasure to know you enjoyed the ride Kits
😯Jezz who is this writer,I feel I know you🤔Who inspired you to use Micheal Elder .Your coded Jokes, Suspense trait and plot Twists are💯 btw
😂😂😂😂 this is she. Glad you enjoyed every bit. Thank you
This was a captivating read. Glad I came across it ❤️
Glad you did too Muna. Thank you 😃
😂😂 Uju oooooo, you got me at the part where you were displaying at the hospital.😂😂 For me though it’s a different ball game entirely, I’ve never had a sit down sexual education with my parents but because my mum is very approachable these discussions randomly come up (just surface talk, no details) and yes thanks to Google I already had a knowledge before ever bringing it up with my mum. I guess I’m still genophobic (now that I know the term for it) and I’m consciously letting myself read (I won’t on a norm) romance novels, just to make… Read more »
Hmmmm I guess you are like me, sometimes you sit and wonder…why does sex have to be necessary to procreate? Hope I wont be bad in bed? Especially when you read all these sex blog where the husband complains their wife is like a log of wood. Low key I feel attacked in advance then I rebuke it with the ‘God Forbid‘ talk😂😂😂
Glad you enjoyed every bit of this and you were able to open up. God will epp all of us 😂😂😂
My thoughts exactly!
Amen God epp us all ooo😂😂
This is a nice read.
I must confess you are a good writer, this is coming from a fellow writer.
More ink and thanks for sharing this.
😃😃 thank you Dupe. Thanks for connecting too. Glad you enjoyed it.
Wowwww. What an intriguing write up. U are indeed a genius in writing. This really got me cos I’m also genophobic buh trying to overcome that
Thank you Flora 😃… I’m glad it got you in the right way; I also hope you find coping mechanisms for your genophobia.
Wow, what a nice write-up! I always love the comments section & I read every single comment. What kept me going was that you responded to every comment. The picture of the vagina-looking tangerine really got me laughing too. 👌 You’ve inspired me to probably start writing, because I love reading & writing on my own. Once again, wonderful write up, keep it up. I thought this was a lesbian story at first & Jules was trying to disvirgin you with her fingers, until Alas, I got the gist, LOL. I could totally relate with you, even though I’m a… Read more »
Yesssssss this sure is the longest comment but worth reading😃. Thank you sharing your experience. You touched many angles I love💫. About disvirgining women, I heard women get attached afterwards to their first sex partner although not found anyone to confirm from first hand; so I’ll ask, were your exes attached? I remember when I read that not all ladies have a hymen or it can be broken through exercises, I started praying to God to make him remove mine 😂😂😂😂 I remember indulging in strenuous exercises at the gym and checking when I got home if I had broken… Read more »
Really interesting read
Glad you enjoyed it🤓
Straight Up with my contributions We don’t talk sex in Africa, we google it. And recently, YouTube is a better teacher. We all have sexual phobia until we outgrow it. Recommendation 1: Watch Shuga Recommendation 2: Start Secret Medical care Logistics. Recommendation 3: Someone should tell nurses to show empathy and assume less. Recommendation 4: Always have a Jules in your life. Recommendation 5: Pay your tithe, donate to this blog. I am disappointed that millions of African kids will face this in the foreseeable future. If read to the end, share this post for young lads to read. P.s… Read more »
Hmmmm point 3 really got me. Does everyone really have sex phobia until they overcome it? I have seen some people look forward to it; maybe beneath that anticipation is a fear they disguise🤒. Also some people have higher phobia than the others.
All your pointers are succinct and valid🎯… yes o… tithe is important 😂😂😂
Also just to be clear do you mean Nneka the Pretty Serpent 😂😂😂😂
Thank you Ebuka💫
The phobia is real due to religious hard-lines, though I doubt the phobia is much this days.
lol, Nneka was really a Pretty Serpent in the block then.
She has a Pretty lad now I heard.
😂😂😂😂 noted
This is so meeeeeeee! I hate the thought of penetration, I guess that’s why I am single. For itchy vagina, I’m yet to deal with that because I have never been to the hospital for such… I hail you
Awwwww 😄 I hope you overcome this and I pray you dont experience itchy vagina o😂😂😂
The lady was so dramatic but that shows us the importance of sex education and how it should be done as early as possible
Very important 💫
I had just had sex for the first time in Uni, I didn’t even know STI was a thing then, cos no prior sex talks with mum before I left home for Uni. My boyfriend was very loyal too at that time and as naive as me. I had just moved into a new flat, cos I stayed off campus, I was the only girl living with 2 boys, we shared a toilet and a bathroom. I was the only one who cared about hygiene. Within a week I got this terrible UTI, burning sensation, cold feet, fever a bad… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣🤣 your mum though, I tried to imagine her voice. This was hilarious but I wish parents can do better. Thank you Tee😄
[…] during the Vagina pills conversation, but you blew your shot by feigning ignorance as usual. Well, I suffered genophobia for decent years and all I needed were the words of a mum or better put, my mum, holding my hands and saying […]
First time i had to insert pills in the Vjay was in my third year. A friend also had to do the treatment and that’s how I knew where to fix it in. I remember having this terrible itch shortly after changing my panties. It had to be toilet infection. I don’t like to swallow pills, feels like severe punishment. Then I had to think of changing the new set of panties, ahhh!!
Whenever I have to use a public toilet, I worry. Infection no be beans o.
😪😪 no be beans o. Imagine if the friend wasn’t there, thanks gracious you scaled through. I don’t pray to ever have an infection again in my life 😑
Wow, wow, wow. I enjoyed every bit of this article and it reminded me of when I had a yeast infection. It all started with the itching and I had to Google search what might be the cause and found out it was an infection with all the symptoms I was experiencing. I couldn’t tell anybody at home cos just like most typical African homes we never get to talk about personal stuffs like that. So I went to a chemist nearby to get drugs and I was also searching online to see if I could talk to a doctor,… Read more »
😂😂😂 glad you enjoyed the read. You’re lucky yours went even without inserting. I begged for just pills to swallow but they said I wasn’t going to be well completely, so I had to oblige.
Don’t worry when the time comes, vagina will comply lol😊