The Need Race…
A friend of mine voiced his reservations recently concerning my supposed ‘New lifestyle’. According to him, all I indulge in lately is woven around Muttering Minds. I no longer talk about my family, place of work and yeah! All the beautiful men I’ve got a crush on.
Well yeah, he’s right, but how long would I keep saying those things? Well its not like I dont tell them anymore but rather than silly natterings, I prefer to voice them through writing. And poor him, he hates reading.
“Oh no! I still talk about these things but on Muttering Minds” I replied.
“You see! I miss you Uju, I miss those times”… he said affectionately.
How do you miss someone and not care about what they are involved with? We’re grown and whether you believe it or not, at this stage, we want to associate more with people who facilitate or share in our dreams. Don’t guilt-trip people with the good old days, it only exists in your head and maybe theirs but tell you what, memories, just like humans are very unreliable. Fragments are invalid. If you cannot catch the train to create new moments, then voila.
Also, you are not very okay if you vent over people calling you only when they need you. When else am I supposed to call you? To burst your bubble, every physical conversation or phone call meets a need. Someone calling you to help them get a job done is no different from the person who calls to say they love you. Or someone who calls to check on your ass. The only difference is probably how it makes you feel.
If a person calls you recurrently on an emotional/trivial note, its either for one or more of these needs:
- They need to be sure you are okay.
- They need you to know how they feel.
- They need you to get to feel what they feel.
- They need you to ensure you watch that series so you both have something to talk about.
- They need more information about you.
- They basically need to validate they are human, and being human is to show care sometimes. Right?
I could go on with the list… I’m sure you get the gist. The truth is, we are all running a ‘need’ race.
People Need People
Let’s face it, we all smell of guilt. Well, that’s better than a pungent body odour. I will call you if I need to get a job done even if I haven’t spoken to you in years. Call me shameless? Well, you are right, I lost my shame!
If someone calls you off the blues for a favour, it’s in your place to decline. But don’t bank on the fact that its because they need you because you also need people. If you are not disturbing them in particular, there’s someone you are. You need people, even people you don’t know or care about their existence. Imagine if you woke up and found yourself alone on earth. I bet you will take your own life because of mehn! the weight of silence will be poison for your soul. Even those who claim they enjoy their own company and hate people need to at least know that there are people on earth but not in their space.
This is the little big truth about us!