Brushing my fingertips round and about my pubic hairs spread across my pelvic and around the lips of my vagina on many nights I’ve lost count, it is such a sweet feeling I cannot explain🤤. I play with the hairs, untangle them whilst scrolling through Instagram feeds with my other hand or trying to put me to bed. You can’t tell me otherwise, this is the best self-inflicting lullaby in the world🛌. So unfortunate, babies do not have pubic hairs, I could have recommended this therapy for nursing mums. Lol, I bet you just pictured a baby having pubic hairs🤣. At times I shave and I’m angry cause there’s nothing to hypnotize me in bed for the next two weeks🥲. How funny, Sometimes I forget I cleared the lawn, I happily dip my hands in my panties only to have my fingers walk on a distasteful bald head, yuck! What a bad night for the cut😒!? Shaving is no doubt sexy but
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I feel it’s absolutely normal to itch your pelvic region and smell it. I’m always eager to know what it smells like😴. I hate the hypocrisy on social media, remind me of that
Sleep- You’ll mostly find me hugging my pillow or having it tucked in-between my legs when I’m asleep. And if I’m not sleeping stark naked, I’m either sleeping with only a polo on or wearing only my pants. And if push comes to shove with the weather, my pyjamas and hoodie comes to my rescue🛌.
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Love- Jokes on the big idiot who came up with the phrase “love don’t cost a thing”, such foolish talk😑! to please who if I may ask? Love costs many things for me, apart from time and money, I hate that it keeps me on my toes, sometimes I’m so grounded in work and for an entire six hours, I’ve forgotten I have a boyfriend😖. And my phone beeps, shit! This nigga beat me to it, I guess he just remembered he has a girlfriend too😂.
Family- This is where forced love takes seed in me. I wish I could tell everyone off on this tree sometimes, but I’ve grown to realize the way they are unbearable sometimes to me is the same way I am to them🥺. I’m so unclear to my family members, I’ve learned to save them the trauma of discovering who I truly am and I think it’s okay😊. The most important thing is that I fulfill my quota as a member and everyone does the same, this way we find happiness🤗.
Kids- I’m ashamed to admit I got zero tolerance for kids🥴, the same way I react over an adult’s mistake of spilling water on the floor, is the same way I react when a kid does same😑. I feel like I need saving in this regard because I intend to birth kids someday too😍.
Friends– I have a handful of close friends, lowkey I think they are angry at me for not picking a best😏. But picking a best will make me solely dependent on someone who thinks it’s okay to be foolish even at serious moments🤣. I often wonder why good friends first laugh at your misery before figuring how to help though. Also what if I pick a best friend who cannot provide me with all the solutions? Friendship should be treated like work too, just like we deliver on our areas of strengths at work, friendship should be the same😁. Don’t you dare stress my brain! You ought to have several options to run to.
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Dogs- I have two dogs and I wish they could talk, like real talk🗣. I figure I’ve made some wrong turns in life, I could use their advice because humans have failed me in this regard😖. I hate it when someone tries to mimic my dogs when they bark or say “shut up!” “stupid dog”, and then they project some boring laughter too, perhaps laughing at their own stupidity because I don’t get what’s so funny😖? Utterly disrespectful! How do you see a dog and resolve to insults and sometimes throw stones🥺? I often wish I could release my dogs for a chase so we’ll see who gets the last laugh😑. Whenever I hear tales that someone got bitten by a dog, in my mind I’m happy, dancing for joy🤣. Excuse me sir/ma, what did you do? I need to hear from the other party. Gosh! I really wish dogs could talk🥺.
Colleagues- (Except for few exceptions) If we work in the same place, I find it offensive that you’re looking me up on social media🙄. Trying to know how crazy my family is or what’s off about my personality? Why though?? Why do you wanna know me?? The only business we should have is work, I play my part excellently and that’s it😐. Office get-togethers have got to be the sickest initiative to come into existence, now what?? Should I get drunk in front of you all and dance my titties out🙄? Hell no! You won’t even come as far as viewing my WhatsApp status, I block you if I have to save your number and if I on a day the Lord made find your status on my feed, you’re blocked immediately. Honey, I do not wish to know you on that level, okay?😶
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Nice- “I think you’re nice Uju, can we be friends?” For reasons best known to God, I still haven’t figured out why I hate being classified as “nice”🤣. I feel the word holds so much sentiment and shouldn’t be used in describing anyone. Ps. I’m not nice! don’t put me on that pedestal because by the time you see a fraction of my craze, you’ll feel like you’ve betrayed yourself and that shit hurts🧐. The word ‘nice’ messes so bad with my brain to a grave extent that if you ever say to me “I need you to meet *****, he’s a nice man”, I swear, I’m not meeting them🙄. And then when I ask you “how’s my outfit?”, you respond “It’s nice”, I automatically conclude you lack the core ingredients of being human, you should be a paper bag or something😪.
Food- Work comes first for me, for a fact, if I’m not getting a task right, I don’t see why I should eat🧐. Sometimes I feel my stomach groaning for help but my coconut brain is trying to finish up a task first so I plead with my stomach to plead with my brain to come through so that we all can be happy😁. Food tastes so much better for me when my mind is fulfilled on a task👍.
Sweets-
Looks- Not my client getting thrilled after visiting this website (Muttering Minds) and affirming he wouldn’t pay me my balance until he sees what I look like. Must be crack right😏? What is it with people and wanting to know how I look? Enjoy the conversation dammit😑! I prefer to commune via chats (mails especially) with people I don’t know from adam, I don’t care to imagine how or what they look like. You soil the relationship the moment you ask to see what I look like😑. Don’t ask! I’ll randomly send you jpegs on my very good days, be patient😂.
Phone Calls- I slightly get irked or really irritated whenever my phone rings especially if I’m not expecting a delivery😒. More than half the time I don’t pick up, I find myself contemplating a thousand and over reasons why you must be calling me😏. Text is better, it lessens my anxiety. The most annoying thing is calling me when my phone’s hotspot is connected to my laptop☹, now I how to wait for your call to stop before I continue working, the audacity! My mum is guilty of this, I’ve pleaded with her several times to call me preferably on Whatsapp if she must but no, African parents make the rules🤦♀️. She rings my phone for every reason in the world, sometimes she calls me just to tell me how she doesn’t understand why my dad is not picking her calls and that I should check if he’s home, I figure my dad is tired too🤣. I enjoy phone calls sometimes though, but that’s rare.
STUPID STATEMENTS/ QUESTIONS PEOPLE ASK
“In no particular Order”- I automatically conclude you’re a blatant liar the moment you say this before calling out names. The first few names you called are the ones most important to you; they wouldn’t come first in your head if they aren’t, so quit lying through your teeth😑.
“Kindly follow back”– Hellooo!!! I’ve seen you followed me and that’s on you🙄. Now can you let me decide if to follow back or not? Is it supposed to be blood for blood🙄?
“Are you good in bed?”– How do you expect me to know? So dumb! 😖 You should ask people who’ve had their share of the cake. Besides its relative, what’s good for them might be bad for you🙅♀️.
“Do you have a crush?”- I’m sorry I cannot relate🙄, especially with how people describe what their crushes do to them. I am not possessed please🤣🤣.
“What’s your best color?”- If I’ve ever given you an answer to this question, I was only trying to curtail your leeching curiosity🤣. I do not have a best color, yellow can look good on a tee but very alarming on my feet. It depends on the item really. If you have a favorite color you are a cow🤣🤣
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“Can you do me a Favor?”- Do you expect me to say no upfront☹? Don’t start a conversation with me on these lines, go ahead and say what you want, and then leave my capacity to be the judge😐.
NOW PICK THE BATON!!
Sure you’ve been wondering what kind of individual wears such a weighty personality🤣🤣. Well, that’s me and I may be pleased to meet you too🤭. This week I took time to think introspectively about my personality, especially these bits. I realize that they go a long way in defining my personhood😄. I thought of sharing it with you all, with high hopes that you’ll check my list or cross them😁. It’s a long list I know, but I’m curious to ask, do we share some traits at least😅? Tell me what and what we have in common😉, and which of them leaves you in shock🤣🤣. You can also add more to your list even the ones I didn’t state. I’m somewhat happy I got to write this so that whenever someone harrasses me with the “tell me about yourself” question, I’ll just pull up with this link🤣🤣🤣. God bless their aching souls they hate reading 🤣🤣🤣.
As usual, I’ll kill a roach to have your comments so please, indulge me. Tell me about you too and how connected we are in the comments section. 😄👇👇
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And if you’ll love to get your story featured, 
I figured sharing these sides to me will help you with more than just an idea of who I truly am and in turn, it’ll also help me to know you better too. Hey Mutterer, this should be fun😃, please indulge me. I really want to know you too😆😆. Common! Leave me your comments baby 🥰 Also below is our official flier, be kind to share across your social platforms. Thank you ❤ If you’re just joining for the first time, my name is Uju😄, and I hope that you like it here and come back for more solace often… Read more »
Trimmed mehn. I derive a non sexual pleasure in playing with it mindlessly when I’m by myself or with bae.
Oooo sweet 😎
Lol I feel like sweets were made to be chewed. Do people really lick sweets?
You’ll be surprised 🤣🤣🤣
Sometimes clean, sometimes trimmed. Depends on what I use for shaving.😃
If it’s menthol sweet, i lick
I see… I avoid menthol sweets except I have to actually 😏
I have been waiting for this story since you announced on Naked Minds🤣🤣🤣 you are weird but I am weird too and that makes both of us.
We are the same for chewing sweets, family, dogs 🤣🤣🤣 although I don’t want my dog biting anyone because I don’t have money for medicals, I love food please and I even eat when people are mourning, about looks too we share the same, I hate my colleagues 😏 and I have many crushes *covers face*
This is a fun read Uju 🤣🤣
Good to know you’re subscribed to Naked Minds 😅😅. If my dogs bite anyone, I’m sorry it’s not my call to take them to the hospital, except I just want to be generous which is rare 😑😑
And why do you hate your colleagues though? 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I don’t hate mine, I just don’t want them in my personal business 🤣🤣🤣
In this Nigeria, they will force you to take them to the hospital 🤣🤣🤣 or they kill your dog.
My colleagues are just not it jare, and also it’s a job I’m not passionate about, will change soon.
So long as I saw you make derogatory passes at my dog, no hospital o😐
Good to know you’re thinking of switching jobs to one you’re most passionate about. I wish you luck😄
Great read. Wouldn’t have asked for a better way to start my day. Who are you? We have lots of things in common. At some point, I felt like i was reading about me. I’ll like to meet you.
😄😄😄 spirit animal one spotted!!! Nice to meet you too😄
Long list tho, My own ehn, I smell my panties too…just some sort of self-examination. Then there’s this feeling I get when my “special place” is cleaning itself…I like that feeling too…the release that comes with it🙈🙊 Even when the weather is chilled, I am still naked underneath my duvet. It makes me feel relaxed. Growing up, I didn’t pay attention to my body and it’s build till men began to express like “how wide my hips”, “my ass”, even ladies would ask what I did and I don’t have any reply. It was like my body growing without my… Read more »
I’m tempted to conclude we are 90% similar. Wow! I don’t think I’ve found anyone who is more obsessed with their body just like I am but with the way you described yours, I feel we’re the same 🤣🤣🤣. I am too vain when it comes to my body 🤣🤣🤣🤣 no one dares tell me my small hips I’m gathering has reduced. I stare at the mirror almost all the time 🤣🤣🤣 I’ve had to take off a tooth because of chewing sweets yet I still chew😏. Exactly that “nice” just tells me there are plenty things you are not… Read more »
The things most women are not aware of their own bodies till someone comes to talk about it. So before you tell me, I will like to find out myself…for a long time in my sex life, I didn’t know what was orgasm. It just happened by error and I had to make sure that I was sure of what made it happen or that part of my body that makes it happen so that I don’t miss out on it.
It’s called Self-awareness!!!
🤣🤣🤣🤣 you’re on point. Cheers to self-awareness baby🥂
🥂
You wanted me here now I’m here! Crazy tho!
I’m really conscious of my body cos it’s says a lot.
I like calls but not all the time cos my ear start aching me after a while.
Its not my ears that ache but my mouth and brain 🤣🤣. Thanks for joining the conversation.
Glad you here☺️☺️☺️
Found this website on the TL. Very interesting read. About the “nice” compliment, I say nice when I really think something is nice with no extra hidden messages or reservations, just what the word means. Great blog! I have several tabs open and waiting to read in the morning.
Yaaaaahhh welcome Patten 💃🕺💃🕺
Okay just maybe because of you I’ll get to love the word “nice”, hoping everyone is like you 😪
I assure you an enjoyable read on the blog. Careful, you might just get addicted 😄. It’s a win win for me though
Fury fetish 🤤
Wow. So people have pubic hairs fetish😂😂😂 that’s how someone on Telegram said his fetish is peeing in the mouth during role playing 🤣🤣🤣 another said clean girls fart🤣🤣🤣
I hate sweets
Ok cool.
Confession time, I taste my V discharge sometimes. Weird? Bye ✌
🤣🤣🤣 whaaaatttttt… weird much but I’m sure you’re not the only one on this table. In secondary school there was a rumor going on about a girl saying she usually tastes her menses. Nothing shocks me anymore really 😄
Dead! Dead!! 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳
People dey oo.
Me wey dey disgusted by the sight of my own blood. I mean I vomit very single time I see it. I’ve mastered the act of looking away when that time of the month comes.
I know! I know! I’m weird that way. 😂😂😂
🤣🤣 you’re weird but I’m sure there are others like you
I don’t like pubic hair. I can cope with armpit hair but on my penis area or someone’s coochie is a NO NO! I don’t even want to start with hair on the bum.
You want to become friends with me because you think I’m nice? Hehehe… I won’t warn you shaa.
I felt somehow when a colleague of mine searched and sent me a request on Facebook and yesterday she talked about a post I made earlier this week in the office in front of other colleagues. I no fit shout!
🤣🤣🤣🤣 when I was writing I was almost moved to make a remark on butt hairs. I hate that shit 🤣🤣🤣 Now you see why I hate colleagues coming so close. I remember starting up this website and then one time at work something went wrong with the company’s website and one of my colleagues said “If it was Muttering Minds, Doris would have run mad” 🤨🤨 leave my website out of your mouth please! To think that he was part of the few I let viewing my status, since then he’s been blocked. I don’t even need your compliment… Read more »
I kid you not, likeeee!! One that i dunno, if she’s hitting on me, is always talking about me and ladies, it’s part of why I didn’t accept her friend request on Facebook.
The few colleagues I have their numbers are blocked from viewing my status sef. Let all people be deying their dey.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 that request will be attended to by the ancient of days. Trust me when I say she’s found a way to stalk you, steadily keeping tabs.
People are sha weird😂 I hate dogs and I really love my space. Very few friends and not a bestie😂
Why do I feel you’re one of those who look for dog’s trouble? 🤣🤣
Weird weird things I do lol . I love to smell my farts atimes . When I want to mess 😅🤣. I will curve my palm then tuck it into my boxers behind . Fart on it and immediately bring it out to my nose to sniff before the air rushingly drifts the smell away 🤣😅. The speed at which I do that once i let out the fart kprrraaaa! 💤. You would think I was competing my fart with the rushing wind 🙆♂️🙈. Atimes it smells awful and atimes I just smell it and feel yess! My system is… Read more »
Hei God 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. I read this affirming to myself “Dear Uju you are not weird afterall”. Better spill more, 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣.
Gotta conduct a breaking the wind competition because I’m sure there are more people like you out there 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It’s not bad just to know how awful it is before you tell anyone to come put their mouth. But not even sexually now it’s just a checkup method.
Exactly!! You get me 😄
I am a weirdo 😅
I love to just sniff a lady’s ass . As in deep my on her ass and sniff . Just want to know what your rough side smells like 😉. When I see a lady I like, In my mind ayam tjinking. What will her ass smell like ? 🙈😭. Weird bah ?
When I’m extremely hungry, I unconsciously chew my cheeks and when I gain conciousness I still continue lol .
I don’t like chewing gums n sweets
I will remember the rest later
Romeo!!!! Instead of making eye contact you make ass contact and then go ahead to absolve it in your conscious 🤣🤣🤣🤣
To think that I just chewed my cheek right now to know how it feels like😄. Guess it’s a habit you picked up from small, just like babies who suck their tongue or thumb.
I’m anxious already, please spill the rest of the tea 🤣🤣
I do this too o…chei! I mean eating my own flesh in bits🙊
Cannibals ear and dear 🤣🤣🤣
Chisos! 😂😂😂😂
Cleannnnnnn
😎
I think it was Tobi or Lolu, not sure
Right??? My mind went to Lolu
This made my day 😁😁
Okay now my list…
My little Nephew who is only two years old chews raw swallow, I find that weird, I hope its a habit he drops along the line.
Hmmmm piercingssssss, ain’t the tongue and navel especially painful? 😬
@kiss their eyes 🤣🤣🤣🤣, there’s a post on Toliet obsession featured on Naked Minds, tell you what, you have many team mates 🤣🤣🤣
Happy I made your day 😄
No pain no gain 😆
I see🤣🤣
When I was young,I would take my novels along to the toilet and sometimes finish five,six chapters before cleaning up and going out. My family thought it was very weird. Till now I do it. If I take my phone inside the toilet and open my pdf reader,forget it….😁😁. Especially on a weekend. I’m glad I see someone like me.
😄😄😄 the toilet gang! Niceee
Welcome. I can never understand why people see it as weird😁
I feel you. Like I could spend hours in the toilet just daydreaming and if I’m with my phone I could stay longer. My family thinks its weird like they don’t understand how anyone could spend hours in the toilet but for me its my quiet place and believe me when you live with many people you definitely need some alone time
I agree with you especially on your last sentence😪😪
Alone time in the toilet is bliss. Its also great when you dont have people who don’t enjoy messing up the toilet. When I’m married I intend to have my own toilet, no sharing not even with kids or husband🙃
Why tf would I pic a baby with pubic hairs ?? 😂😂
Well personally I don’t really have tolerance when it comes to kids, I think that’s what we have in common
But it’s very bad sha
I intend on working on that, cause those little piglets can be so annoying 😡
But I will sha be a good dad 😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣piglets killed me. I wonder why they are so stubborn. I always ask my mum if I was as stubborn as my Nephew because O boy, that lil man is a handful😂😂😂
God help us
This is funny in a way. I used to think I’m very weird but I know without doubt that we are many 😆🤣 To start with, I detest dogs and animals in general. Can’t bear for one to come near me and if you have a dog in your house sorry I’m not visiting. Well, I’m a loner (kinda) so I’m not the type who keep friends but I have very few close friends and I don’t do besties. For colleagues, I don’t like it when people nose around.. I used to chew gums and sweet but ever since I… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 @ stroll there. All of you who hate dogs ehn, I wonder what those sweet cuties did to you all😪😪
Don’t do besties ooo🤣🤣🤣
Well as for me I don’t like it when my pubic hair grows, i like it bald like i will jus use my hand to rub the place and is very smooth. I love it that why i always make sure i have my shaving cream with me. As for the best colour of a thing i don’t have anything best, best friend, Food name them i no get any except best subject which is mathematics. I hate the stupid sounds that pple usually make wen chewing gum so disgusting 🤢. I don’t really keep friends most especially female. Once… Read more »
You must be an angry 🐦… how do you delete my number because we haven’t chatted in a month 🤣🤣🤣
And you love mathematics 😭😭😭 I failed it for Waec, how I passed on second attempt remains a mystery. I never wanna cross paths with it again😑.
Yeah if you use shaving cream you’ll definitely have a bald shave, I do clean everytime I use a cream and I’m always counting my calendar for them to grow back fast😁
Interesting read. Weldone Uju. I and you similar in a couple of things.
I am presently naked, ocassionally playing with my pubic hair too. However, i cut gallaz hairstyle. Shave everything except a thin turf of hair to play it.
Written words do it for me. Sometimes i don’t like to pick calls, if you like call twenty times.
I don’t like TV, or to drink cold water. I am not nice too, and I am good in bed, although I don’t get asked.
They often say i give savage replies.
What a nudist🤣🤣🤣, well I don’t remember to play with the hairs on my head as I mostly have a weave or attachment on. Another set of hairs I enjoy playing with are my lashes, sometimes I pluck a few especially when my eye lids ache me or I feel like a strand is not neatly arranged. I can’t remember the last time I watched TV, this is not to say I hate it though but cause I figured I have all I need on my phone. @call me 20 times 🤣🤣🤣🤣 that moment when you’re waiting for the call… Read more »
Yeah that gallas cut for the pubic region is beautiful 🤤🤭🙈. There was a time I used to do that back in poly days, my friends were always like this is a new layer to your craze.
I remember seeing a coursemate in different light after mentioning that she used to do it also. Hitherto I’d never been attracted to her, swears.
Funny how some idiosyncrasies affect us
“Tell me about yourself” please can someone honestly explain to me why Nigerian ladies hate this statement. I really want to know why it offends them.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 just imagine the long list I had to put up, and mind you, there’s still more. Now imagine a nigga wanting to know all these on the spot😪. It’s a tough call really, you wouldn’t know where to begin and if you attempt it, you’re most likely gonna sound unintelligent.
My default answer whenever a guy asks me the question is usually “Tell me what exactly you wanna know“, because sometimes the answer you have prepared might not be what they want.
Ps. This question should also be scrapped during job interviews😑
I tell guys the same thing…”what would you like to know?” You can’t expect me to start spilling things on a first date. You’ll get bored. Till the end, you can’t know anyone totally. Na see finish be that na🙄
Asides the see finish thing, it’s just tiring to have to talk 😒
They don’t know…crazy part is most men are not the “talkatives” but they expect every lady to talk and talk…till when…it’s even cool when the conversation is not one-sided. Not someone asking you questions like you’re on a job interview 🙄
Exactly!!
Na you wey wan dey spill things. “Tell me about yourself” is an avenue for you as a lady to drive the conversation to where you want it to go. Avoid topics you don’t want to dive into
Yea, lol…Men just love listening to ladies talk…that’s all…but I love to listen to u talk too. Cos I don’t want to miss the eye contact, the hand gestures etc. I like it when its not one-sided. I ask and you ask the questions one after the other. It doesn’t make me miss out on you too. So it’s not in the inability to answer the question. For me, I just want to listen your part too…no missing out of any sort. So let’s take it one after the other. And since it’s not a job interview, why can’t you… Read more »
Oh common.! Tell me about yourself simply means tell me about what you want me to know. What if I ask a question you wouldn’t want to answer. Like just tell me about where you work, your hobbies etc then we’ll proceed from there. its not a big deal. You don’t need to say a biography “Well, I’m a teacher, I love reading books” If I as a guy love reading too then I can pick it up and say “I love reading books too, my favourite is…..” Conversation flows Alot of ladies are so dramatic about it. When I… Read more »
Oooh well, you make a good point but I tell you, if you wore the shoes for a moment, you’ll see how exhausting the question is. There’s more really especially in this part of our world.
I think playing with pubic hair for ladies is like how guys feel when playing with their beards,it’s therapeutic and calming. We do share some traits e.g how annoying it is when I get calls……like why?! Worst is you call and start telling me how something happened but somehow you looked from anther angle and bla bla bla,heck right from the start I already asked you to see from that other angle but all of a sudden now you do you decide to take an hour of my call time to explain your genius findings(referring to bae)🙄🙄 All round though… Read more »
Therapeutic!!! Thats the word!!!!
You seem more angry about phone calls than I am 🤣🤣🤣 me I enjoy baes calls most times though.
I hate the hate some humans show to animals mehn, I really do. Some people just resolve to kill immediately whenever they come across an animal, and thats😑😑
I’m in my 20s and I barely have underarm hairs, but for my groin area I prefer a trimmed shave cos clean shaves leave my skin area irritated and the sight is unpleasant.
Exactly I just said this same thing on our Telegram chat, clean shaves leave the area looking like 🤮
I never try to chew sweets.. I really try
Wow. You must be a calculated individual 🤔
Lol, Ujuuuuuuuuuuu😂 I love to shave always but for the bumps that comes with it, if possible get a “grow no hair” cream for my butt😓And omo I love to check my discharges too. Yee, I never really like to talk/go out. I could be home 3months straight and not want to see anyone(I wonder how I’d meet this Mr.Right). Family: when I’m home, I love to be alone always, I hate the unnecessary attention esp from my father(man loves to bug life outta me). That “Ada and father relationship” issa NO NO for me. Leave me alone nauuuuuu🥺 Dogs:… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I thought I was being harsh to kids but reading your remark makes me feel good about myself 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I should send my nephew over😑. Papa wants to know if his daughter is gonna bring home suitors soon. How our parents cage us and then expect us to suddenly show up with Mr. Right is a mystery🤣🤣🤣 don’t disturb me plix 😑 Speaking of meeting Mr. Right, I have given up on going out, as a matter of fact I don’t think they are out there. Everyone is online, shoot your shot if you must🤣🤣🤣 And yes! You are… Read more »
Imagine a beautiful cow😂😂 ever seen one?
🤣🤣🤣🤣 no plix! Cows got no beauty. Only those who do now own a favourite colour are beautiful 😌
This here “…How our parents cage us and then expect us to suddenly show up with Mr. Right is a mystery” It’s beyond mystery, if I come across a word that’s higher than mystery. Back then, they’d question you on every and any female seen with/around you, or that comes to the house (that if you are even able to muster the courage to invite anyone sef). There was no speech about women we did not hear. Remember a call from my old man in my second or third year. Achievers, our hostel back then was quite a barrack. As… Read more »
😂😂😂😂😂😂 that ‘be careful’ warning irks the shit out of me ehn 😂😂😂. The way I tell my mum off when she starts with marriage talks ehn, it’s more like pay back for all the caging. She knows well enough now to ask me with caution lol
I do sometimes try to know how my pubic regions smell and not just those areas, i do it for most of the things i touch. I remember my mum jokingly saying that i would have tasted poo in my childhood 😀😀😀😀. Irritating as it would have been, it was just my curiosity getting the best of me. However ironical it may sound, it disgusts me to see others do it. I hate close contacts with dogs. I prefer to admire from a distance 😁. I like kids but some spoilt brats can be very irritating. I wouldn’t mind knowing… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣 perhaps you’ve tasted poop. When you say dos and dont’s what do you mean? For me so long are your deliverables are good and you have good manners, I care less if you are a serial killer outside the four walls of the office🤣🤣🤣 But dogs are cute now🥲, I always set myself up for some tongue licking from my dogs. Its either I put my bare hands close to their mouths or I put cookies they could feed off from my hands, so that when they are done, they lick me 🤣🤣🤣 its surreal Glad you enjoyed my… Read more »
Ewww, i hope not..😁😁
When i say dos and don’t s, i mean it this way. As shy as i can get, i can be playful when i get comfortable around you. Again, i detest embarrassments. So if i know what to do around you, it gives me direction as to what i should and not do to keep my integrity intact.
Getting licked by a dog, I’ll probably have a thousand baths. That’s the height of it. Let them go on and be dogs away from me.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ever heard that a dogs saliva is the ultimate salve? 😌
I don’t like receiving phone calls. It’s like being put on the spot suddenly and I get anxious whenever a call comes in on my phone. Thinking of calling someone is scary for me. Whenever I have to call someone, the thought of it scares me. I have to go through a mental battle and try and push myself to then call someone in the end. I used to think I was the only one like this. I am very introverted and reclusive and whenever I hear people talk about how often they have phone calls with their friends etc.… Read more »
Why do I feel like you’re my male version John😅😅? Like you check my list so good except the sweet part. And imagine you got a twin, if it’s not a lady, then be rest assured I’m your lady twin😅. Sometimes when I’m putting a call across to some people I keep praying in my mind they don’t pick cause I don’t have the luxury of lacking yarns😭😭. A friend was calling my phone repeatedly last week, but I kept rejecting it. Sent her an sms that I’m not disposed to pick calls. The truth is I don’t see what… Read more »
yeah, like after mustering enough courage and will to call someone, then you are seriously hoping they don’t pick. If it’s not too serious you can then send them a text afterwards that they missed your call and hope that the person responds by text too, so that whatever discussion you both had to do is continued through texting. I’ve been wanting to call an uncle of mine since last week, but I’ve been procrastinating. Yesterday after reading this article, I made up my mind to make the call before the end of the day. It’s a new day today… Read more »
Exactly @hoping they keep the discussion via text is key 🤣🤣🤣
I don’t blame you for procrastinating the call with your uncle, uncles are very hard to flow with on the phone. My dads elder brother once hinted my mum that I’ve never called him. My response was “has any of his kids called you out of the blues too?”. My mum was mute, I bet she saw sense in what I said.
Glad to meet you too twin 😄😄
Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow. An interesting read but ohwow. Lol.
A guy i used to date does the normal “Uju itching of his pelvic region and smells it.”😏 I first found It really disgusting but tried to ignore that part because I loved him.
GOod to know theres a community out there comfortable with that. 😀
Ahhhhh 🤣🤣🤣🤣 itching and smelling does not apply to every Mutterer o, except you mean there are people out there who do so. Yes there are 😅
Hope you didn’t break up with him cause of this 🤣🤣🤣
Lol. Nope. Other issue led to the breaking up. It is what it is. 😅
Tbvh, I wasn’t comfortable with it all through.
We don dey alright. 🥴😏☺️😁🤪
😄😄😄alright
Let me even join the conversation fully before I get distracted again. Looks: I’ve had this countless times when it come so to personal calls or chats. I mean just go with the flow 🙄. We just started talking and you’re asking for video calls or photo to see me. IG still exists yes? Go check. Lool. We go see when we see. Now the people I work with virtually are thankfully sensible. They maintain whatever means we take. Emails, chats, calls. Most of the time, I’m told to keep correspondence with some workers out of the state and the… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣🤣 mama the mama, at least she finally listens.
Mehn you see that addressing with “ma” yeah, I go through it with dispatch riders 🤣🤣🤣 I can tell they’re disappointed when they finally see me on delivery because ehn 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I hate when someone addresses me as “madam” though, you can tell more than half the time they’re being sarcastic especially when they are older. The word “madam” pinches my blood much🤣🤣🤣.
Yes you’ve tried, I had a really good laugh 🤣🤣
I chew sweets too🤣 It’s like my teeth are on default setting to crack sweets whenever I pop one in my mouth
Me too 🤣🤣
I don’t do best colour, favour food or best friend😀🙃…. I have few friends though, not up to 5🙈🤫.
I really admire your ability to put a fortified wall between work and personal life. I wish I can separate the two. My colleagues especially the older ones🤥 have made it their primary assignment to dish out unsolicited marriage advice to we “unfortunate” singles
Unsolicited!!!🤣🤣🤣 they better be ready to start fining me for working with my ear plugs on because…🤣🤣🤣
Trimming abeggggggggg. What will i be playing with when i’m alone……
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Everybody chew sweets now ahbii??? No time to be licking ooo
You’ll be surprised there are more lickers out there lol😄
Chew baby😁
😉😉
I love it clean and I sniff too, panties as well
Trimmed meets clean🤝
A crazy sweet read this is. You should do podcasts comedies. Or preferably a TV show
Ooo thank you!😄 Unfortunately I suck at speaking 🤣🤣🤣
I wish I could write like you 😂
Pls. Kill that roach🙃
Heyyy! Long time Prime 😁. Well you can practice some, you never know. Good to hear from you again ❣
Chewing sweet is the best thing
🤣🤣🤣 swears
I don’t like bald pubic regions, either mine or the other party. Trimming is fine by me. Like the feel on my fingers, some moist on those fine hairs. VJ with a lawn is definitely more arousing to me (not mangrove forest sha o) And yes I bring my hands to my nose after a short excursion down below. I’m always like “how we doing down there today” or “if you ask someone’s daughter to sing to the mic right now, would she find the environment conducive” something along those lines. Honestly, if I had a recipe for the nether… Read more »
😂😂😂😂😂 @mangrove forest lol. Swears, I feel it’s very normal to check, how would a person not even check lol. Its like operating blindly to be honest lol.
Your descriptive style is hilarious Xavi😂😂
you possess 85% of my Girlfriend’s trait
Oooo really 😃
Trimmed definitely. Shaving gives annoying bumps.
So true! It’s been about a year since this post was published lol so I’ve also incorporated waxing and it’s way better 😁