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MUTTERERS CLUB

Sexual Advances and A Halt in the Milk Flow

Writer- Anonymous
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6 min read

Reading the Bizarre Experience story on Saturday, I thought to share mine. Mine although bizarre became a break in the clouds in the end.

One of my key prayer points in the university was to not fall victim of the sexual advances by lecturers. Thanks be unto God for not blessing me with ‘Overload’ (sure you know what I mean), it was easy for me not to be on their radar. You know what they say about old men liking it full, so I wasn’t even close to the centre of their eyes. 

sexual advances
One of my key prayer points in the university was to not fall prey for the moral degrading ‘sex for grades’ stunt by lecturers.

The year for Industrial Training came and I was super excited. I spent about a month going from one company to the other searching for a place, it was frustrating. I got to this particular company (name withheld) and the receptionist didn’t even let me sit,  “There is no vacancy for I.T students”, she yelled at me. This was the 5th company I was trying, I begged her and she literally called security to see me out, I cried o. Imagine scenes I watch in movies becoming my reality, not fair!

A week later, my neighbour gave me the contact of a lady who is a staff member of that same company. I  was so excited and went there the next day. You needed to see the amount of fury that expelled from the receptionist’s eyes the moment she saw me. I ignored her and went in with the staff I had contacted who then interviewed me and took me to the CEO’s office. 

Read: If You See Me Liking A girl, Shoot Me
sexual advances
“Good morning sir”, my mousy nervous self reached out to exchange pleasantries

Typically CEO looking, a black pot-bellied man whose age dilly-dallied around the late 60s. Let’s call him Robin. “Good morning sir”, my mousy nervous self reached out to exchange pleasantries just about the same time my ‘connect’ did the introduction. Afterwards, she left us alone for further introduction.

Robin and I sat opposite each other, there was a huge conference table separating us. Skirt slightly below my Knee, high neck blouse, flat shoes, full stop earrings and everything modest was all intertwined with my small body. He appeared more interested in pressing his phone than listening to my answer to the “tell me about yourself” question he asked. Regardless I went on narrating.

Read: 5 Reasons To Avoid An Office Romance
sexual advances
He stood up, walked towards the window, looked outside and asked me to come to join him.

About fifteen minutes into his assessment, he stood up, walked towards the window, looked outside and asked me to come to join him. I obliged, went and stood beside him while maintaining a fair distance. Before I knew it, Robin grabbed my waist with his left hand and his right hand began surfing my blouse, trying to grab my small breast. I froze. My brain went blank. Whatever he was saying then, I wasn’t listening. His left hand was about going to my second boobs and that was when I finally moved. “me! How!”… I exclaimed in my mind. 

I couldn’t look at him but I heard him laugh and describe how sweet and innocent I looked like a child. I was disgusted, I wanted to run. “You can resume immediately”, he said with so much effrontery and then he gave me transport fare. Yeah, I collected it. I dragged my feet to the bus stop. My heart was heavy, I wanted to scream, imagine me with my small body. I got home, went straight to my room and cried myself to sleep. I contemplated going back, I prayed, motivated myself and finally said ‘WELCOME TO THE WORLD BABY GIRL, THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT’. 

sexual advances
The ball was in my court

I resumed and became Robin’s errand girl, which of course came with some side attractions like free lunch, t-fare and ‘keep the change’ syndrome. Yes, he tried again but I was in control. I think he was just mostly into breasts or probably because he knew I was a virgin. I avoided him like a plague, I gave him one excuse or the other, good thing he wasn’t always around. And then came a sully crown of ‘see finish’, I became rude to him and he kept his distance till my internship was over.

Fast forward six months after graduation, Robin rang my phone out of the blues. “My lost wife, you should be done with school by now. What are you doing at home? eating mummy’s food? Get your ass to my office.” It was at this point I knew I needed some confiding. I talked to my sister and my close friend and they assured me it was okay. The moment he set his eyes on me, he hugged me so tight but didn’t try anything stupid. I told him I was awaiting NYSC and he said I should start working for him while I wait. 

sexual advances
His sexual pressure increased, according to him, I couldn’t possibly be a virgin anymore.

Robin placed me in a male-dominated department which wasn’t so cool with me but he assured me I was going to do better there. His sexual advances increased, according to him, I couldn’t possibly be a virgin anymore. I kept resisting. I did everything to push him away and after working with him for four months, he couldn’t handle me denying him my body anymore, one day he finally summoned the guts and told me not to return.

Looking back, Robin was a blessing in disguise. With the skill I acquired there, I was able to get a better job. You’re probably wondering why I am sharing this right? Many girls if made to walk in my shoes, would have become bitter the moment Robin told them to leave and before you know it, they come out to dent his career with a sex scandal. Not to support sexual abuse but a lot of times when I hear a lady call out a man for taking advantage of her sexually, a part of me asks… “Are you coming out to say this because he stopped the milk flow?” “How about the good old days you benefited from his goodwill? Don’t the press deserve to know that part too?” 

sexual advances
There is the truth, and also the part where we filter the truth so that it’s bitter taste does not clog our taste buds.

Right now, I’ve got a skill I didn’t learn in school and it’s paying well. I’m glad I did not let my experience get the better of me. I love to believe I was smart in my dealings and played my cards well. Not disputing that it could have been worse for someone else but sometimes what we hear people narrate is not what really transpired. For every story we narrate, there is the truth, and also the part where we filter the truth so that it’s bitter side does not clog our taste buds.

 

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King
King
4 months ago

Congratulations dear!

Let just say that God heard and answered your initial payment or the man still a little restrain. He was also calculating, he didn’t want to have sex scandal.

The truth is that every man have sexual desires but we manage it differently. Some men act animalistic with no respect for what the consequences could be but most men will not go beyond the normal and you will think you were smart.

However, your story is a testimony.

Congratulations!

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  King

Great great. About part where you mentioned ‘And you’ll think you were smart’… hmmmmm it hit me.

Joseph
Joseph
4 months ago

What an interesting story, yet very educative.

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  Joseph

Thank you Joseph 👌

Tai
Tai
4 months ago

For the first time at least, there’s no predictable ending unlike the usual sexual harassment stories! This gladdens my heart that someone somehow got lucky and was able to control the situation. The writer could confide in someone or people, how about those who don’t have that luxury? If you ask me, I ld say there’s no manual to anything in life.. some people operate with special types of grace, they have everything they want or need at any given time and nature is always at their Beck and call… For some others, life tosses and turns them anyhow it… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  Tai

Hmmmmmm this is so insightful. Sums it all! About your blind boss, sorry but I laughed, it reminded me of a tweet where a tweet asked asked if blind people see when they dream.

Also, my sister once had a blind student narrating to her how she saw her in the dream. Perhaps his dreams described you well enough. 🤔🤔

solchibuzor
solchibuzor
4 months ago

Wow! What a strong lady you are! As much as I can understand the things you’ve been through…the rejections before the opportunity which now came with “dining with the devil”, I still think if I were close to you, I would have said “RUN!”. See ehh, this thing is a spirit. Sheh sexual abuse? It is a spirit and when it overcomes the abuser, the victim won’t even see the rape coming. Now I mean rape as in penetration..because you already endured other forms of rape there. Penetration is just one of the final form. So for you to have… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  solchibuzor

Hehehehehe very fortunate for both parties. Like the popular quote “When one is dining with the devil, a vast amount of preparation is in order”. She went prepared.

Thank you 💞💞

Aji
Aji
4 months ago

Another insightful angle.

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  Aji

You know this👌👌

Isaac
Isaac
4 months ago

I thank God you didn’t come out to say all men are the same. May God bless you for that. You’re such a strong woman and I love you for that

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  Isaac

Yeah the perception and narrative is different. Thank you Isaac, welcome on board too, hope to get more of your feedbacks 💞💞

Uka-amaka
Uka-amaka
4 months ago

What a lovely story, well you were courageous and also thanks to God the man didn’t behave like an animal. These things happen everyday and its the reason why some girls do whatever they do but yet they are judged without getting to hear their stories. In a country like ours, its a norm for some of these bosses even female bosses who harass their staffs and if they don’t compile then they get sacked. We all pray for God’s wisdom in situations like this.

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  Uka-amaka

Thank you Amaka. May wisdom never depart from us in dealing with people. Could have been worse for some other person, she’s lucky.

Vandy Seyi
Vandy Seyi
4 months ago

I lIke the mindset or reasoning of this person. Though I won’t loose sleep over predators being called out. But like the person rightly said, sometimes they out the person over (for lack of a better word) selfish or spiteful reasons(emphasis on sometimes). Not just cause they are looking for justice or want the world to know what they did was wrong. They then hide behind the cloak of justice to suit their means of revenge. Well finally I guess all is part of life

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  Vandy Seyi

You know this Vandy. Thank you 👌

~pecan.H
~pecan.H
4 months ago

Nice another angle ..i wouldn’t really call it smart tho but the writer was actually lucky, and sometimes there aren’t no milk flow some people actually wants to keep their jobs or have one in the first place .. all the same it was nice and worth sharing too someoneelse can bold enough and also get lucky

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  ~pecan.H

Thank you Pecan and welcome on board too 💞💞. Hope to read more of your comments here.☺️

St3phanie
St3phanie
4 months ago

You see that part where the writer says “milk flow stops” I don’t know what to say exactly to that but thank God he didn’t rape u shaaa… maybe then you would rephrase that statement though… cos whether milk stop or not when it becomes unruly and harassing as long as the lady has made her stance the man is worth facing the judgment 💆🏻‍♀️

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  St3phanie

Yeah I get you, harassment is a no no but it doesn’t give away the fact that most ladies turn it into a milking scheme.

Silas Otue
Silas Otue
4 months ago

A clear illustration of ” When life gives you lemons make lemonade”
I’m glad the whole thing worked out for good; I do hope others in your shoes would learn one or two from this too.

muttering minds
Admin
4 months ago
Reply to  Silas Otue

Hehehehe. This was actually the phrase the writer used while explaining the depth of her story to me. ‘When life gives you lemons, make lemonade’. You are in sync, thank you 👌

Olisa
Olisa
10 days ago

It’s extremely exciting to hear a fresh and unusual perspective that admits that some gain can come from working in a sexually challenged workplace! A lot of Women fail to retain their focus and play the game while gaining on whatever they can even if it’s just the experience or the recommendation on their CV. Men actually respect Women who play the game. Although just like in your case, when it becomes obvious that they are at a loss most would simply let the Woman go to remove the temptation or stop reminding them that they could not bite the… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin
10 days ago
Reply to  Olisa

Thank you for this Olisa.💫💫

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