Reading the Bizarre Experience story on Saturday, I thought to share mine. Mine although bizarre became a break in the clouds in the end.
One of my key prayer points in the university was to not fall victim of the sexual advances by lecturers. Thanks be unto God for not blessing me with ‘Overload’ (sure you know what I mean), it was easy for me not to be on their radar. You know what they say about old men liking it full, so I wasn’t even close to the centre of their eyes.
The year for Industrial Training came and I was super excited. I spent about a month going from one company to the other searching for a place, it was frustrating. I got to this particular company (name withheld) and the receptionist didn’t even let me sit, “There is no vacancy for I.T students”, she yelled at me. This was the 5th company I was trying, I begged her and she literally called security to see me out, I cried o. Imagine scenes I watch in movies becoming my reality, not fair!
A week later, my neighbour gave me the contact of a lady who is a staff member of that same company. I was so excited and went there the next day. You needed to see the amount of fury that expelled from the receptionist’s eyes the moment she saw me. I ignored her and went in with the staff I had contacted who then interviewed me and took me to the CEO’s office.
Typically CEO looking, a black pot-bellied man whose age dilly-dallied around the late 60s. Let’s call him Robin. “Good morning sir”, my mousy nervous self reached out to exchange pleasantries just about the same time my ‘connect’ did the introduction. Afterwards, she left us alone for further introduction.
Robin and I sat opposite each other, there was a huge conference table separating us. Skirt slightly below my Knee, high neck blouse, flat shoes, full stop earrings and everything modest was all intertwined with my small body. He appeared more interested in pressing his phone than listening to my answer to the “tell me about yourself” question he asked. Regardless I went on narrating.
About fifteen minutes into his assessment, he stood up, walked towards the window, looked outside and asked me to come to join him. I obliged, went and stood beside him while maintaining a fair distance. Before I knew it, Robin grabbed my waist with his left hand and his right hand began surfing my blouse, trying to grab my small breast. I froze. My brain went blank. Whatever he was saying then, I wasn’t listening. His left hand was about going to my second boobs and that was when I finally moved. “me! How!”… I exclaimed in my mind.
I couldn’t look at him but I heard him laugh and describe how sweet and innocent I looked like a child. I was disgusted, I wanted to run. “You can resume immediately”, he said with so much effrontery and then he gave me transport fare. Yeah, I collected it. I dragged my feet to the bus stop. My heart was heavy, I wanted to scream, imagine me with my small body. I got home, went straight to my room and cried myself to sleep. I contemplated going back, I prayed, motivated myself and finally said ‘WELCOME TO THE WORLD BABY GIRL, THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT’.
I resumed and became Robin’s errand girl, which of course came with some side attractions like free lunch, t-fare and ‘keep the change’ syndrome. Yes, he tried again but I was in control. I think he was just mostly into breasts or probably because he knew I was a virgin. I avoided him like a plague, I gave him one excuse or the other, good thing he wasn’t always around. And then came a sully crown of ‘see finish’, I became rude to him and he kept his distance till my internship was over.
Fast forward six months after graduation, Robin rang my phone out of the blues. “My lost wife, you should be done with school by now. What are you doing at home? eating mummy’s food? Get your ass to my office.” It was at this point I knew I needed some confiding. I talked to my sister and my close friend and they assured me it was okay. The moment he set his eyes on me, he hugged me so tight but didn’t try anything stupid. I told him I was awaiting NYSC and he said I should start working for him while I wait.
Robin placed me in a male-dominated department which wasn’t so cool with me but he assured me I was going to do better there. His sexual advances increased, according to him, I couldn’t possibly be a virgin anymore. I kept resisting. I did everything to push him away and after working with him for four months, he couldn’t handle me denying him my body anymore, one day he finally summoned the guts and told me not to return.
Looking back, Robin was a blessing in disguise. With the skill I acquired there, I was able to get a better job. You’re probably wondering why I am sharing this right? Many girls if made to walk in my shoes, would have become bitter the moment Robin told them to leave and before you know it, they come out to dent his career with a sex scandal. Not to support sexual abuse but a lot of times when I hear a lady call out a man for taking advantage of her sexually, a part of me asks… “Are you coming out to say this because he stopped the milk flow?” “How about the good old days you benefited from his goodwill? Don’t the press deserve to know that part too?”
Right now, I’ve got a skill I didn’t learn in school and it’s paying well. I’m glad I did not let my experience get the better of me. I love to believe I was smart in my dealings and played my cards well. Not disputing that it could have been worse for someone else but sometimes what we hear people narrate is not what really transpired. For every story we narrate, there is the truth, and also the part where we filter the truth so that it’s bitter side does not clog our taste buds.