8 min read

No one told me this about weed… rather, I never believed when they said it, so I decided to jump off the bus…🙃

*Pacing frantically around the room and panting with so much fear in my eyes.* “O my God Tom😱! I can’t breathe, my breath cuts short and my throat feels so dry😖…”

 *Struggles to gulp some saliva and begins to fidget and cry uncontrollably… moves closer to Tom and suddenly begins to hassle him.* “Please take me to the hospital!😭  This is not me, something is wrong with me…help me!!😩😩”

Pacing frantically around the room and panting with so much fear in my eyes

Before then, I had never felt that way before, so scared, uneasy, very alive yet dead at the same time. Something was off; it was like I was communicating with all my multiple personalities in full flesh. My demons came out to play tough. I couldn’t tell who I was anymore, rather the side I enjoyed showing to the world was lost and hoping never to be found. I always heard that Marijuana (weed) could gargle a man’s mind, stir it in full-blown chaos until he loses grip of his actions, but I thought it was a bandwagon fallacy. 

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 A little backstory here. On this very chilled day, I went to see my boyfriend (now an ex). He was a stoner and most times had weed littered in some strategic corners of his room. I went to his place to cajole him to follow me to mine; we were supposed to have a nice night together at my place (sips coffee🙃). And ding ding! I saw a somewhat handful of weed staring at me. And I thought to myself “today is the day”…not sure if the Lord made this one though.😏

I feel like trying it tonight, what do you think?

“Ah ha! This is the so-called weed right?” I asked rhetorically. “I feel like trying it tonight, what do you think?😉”  Tom responded to me with an exciting and charming stare. Finally, his girl gets to taste the unseen goodness he’s been preaching. So I put it in my bag, assisted him in selecting some of his belongings, and off we went to my place. 

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I was so curious, waiting to see the beastly transformation as I stirred my noodles on the fire. I have never sprinkled so much of a particular ingredient on a meal before, but that evening, I became an experimental chef. That moment when you are cooking and you indulge yourself in a monologue. “Is this the right amount?” 🤔 rather than second-guessing, I poured everything in the two packs of noodles. “Yasss! now, this is more like it🤤”, I said as a fulfilled smile ran through my lips.

Criminal: The Original Brownie Lady | WUNC

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I have never been so excited to serve a meal before, let alone noodles ( not a fan🤢). But on this day, I relished it like it was my last supper🤤. At every spoon, I’ll say in my mind “This had better work!” I wanted to see that so much talked about effect. “But when will it start working now🙄?” I pressured Tom at intervals while we ate. And he would always give me a reassuring look to calm down and take my mind off it.


About thirty minutes later… I laid down in bed, swooned in some lovey-dovey shenanigans with Tom 💏. Surprisingly we got talking about childhood memories (it usually doesn’t happen with us especially on a night like that). I started to talk about how I always wanted to be a bird. How I loved watching cartoons with the woodpecker featured in it. I began mimicking the bird and told him I wanted to peck his *** with my lips. 

weed woodpecker
The Woodpecker

Have you ever laughed so much that even when you get to your limit, it seems as though you are just getting started? Laughter became insatiable. My nigga started whining me, he asked how I’ll love to peck it, and there I was making animal sounds.  “Graaaaaaaaa…Pkkkkurrr imagine your dick falling off immediately?”. I asked in a stressful sexy tone. Before I knew it, I found myself singing and twerking. For anything, I wouldn’t sing, let alone twerk even if it was the ultimate solution to end a pandemic. The most extreme spoliation was seeing myself trying to muster some sex appeal. How embarrassing?! 😪

Read: My First Sex Experience; Something Worth Sharing or?

I saw all I was doing but I couldn’t bring myself to order. It was like the real me became an audience to my demons. I have never been so out of control but it felt like the more I tried to get a hold of myself, the more misbehavior got the most rewarding part of me.🤧

Have you laughed so much that even when you get to…


My chest was beginning to sink and my throat was getting strangled with drought. With a low voice, I asked “Tom it’s like this thing is working, my chest is hot😟”, I took his hands and placed them on my chest “please touch it. It’s hot right?😰”.  There, it dawned on me that the worst could happen any moment. I jerked off and started pacing around the room.

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I am a thinker and my thoughts can be very extreme. All the bad things I have ever thought of did not just replay in my mind only to say a brief hello, they wanted a full bed space. The worst of it all was dying young and not fulfilling my dreams. That period was when it was trending on the news that a girl who visited her boyfriend got overdosed and died. It was my time to join her😭… O Christ! I couldn’t bear it anymore. I started to hassle Tom to take me to the hospital. Imagine! This was already midnight. He tried to calm me down while reaching for his phone, assuring me he was trying to call his family doctor.

My chest was beginning to sink and my throat was getting strangled with drought…

Tom! Tom!“… I screamed his name. “Wait a minute! Can you remember if we had an accident on our way here?😫” At this point, I was already crying. I was dead. Rather I thought we were dead and it was our ghosts that were active at the moment. “Maybe we had an accident and this is our ghost🥶”…” Tom we are not alive! We are dead. Christ! What will my mum do, what happens to all my dreams”😭😭… I cried even harder.

Read: Gosh! I Overthink Worst-Case Scenarios

I needed to be sure I was alive so I opened my room door and started running around the compound. “I need to know I’m alive!😱”, I kept reciting like an anthem while I ran. I had the nudge to knock on a friend’s door but Tom held me back. He was already getting pissed but most of him felt helpless. He didn’t know what to do with me but thankfully managed to bring me in. Yet I couldn’t hold still,  so I opened the door again and knocked on the door of my neighbors who lived opposite my flat as loud as I could. For me, it was a case of my ghost displaying, so to debunk that thought I felt if my neighbors could see me in the flesh then I will be a bit calm.🤭

Haba! Uju why are you knocking so loud by this time?

They were shocked! “Haba! Uju why are you knocking so loud by this time?🙄” one of them interrogated me with his angry sleepy voice while the other two (all guys) were trying to get themselves together in case it was an armed robbery alert.  “I need to know I’m alive🥶”. I kept screaming and managed to drag them to my room. I could feel the embarrassment on Tom’s face as he narrated what happened to them. Before then, he’s never had an encounter so the impression now will most rightly be “The guy who overdosed his girlfriend with weed”. But reputation can as well burn in hell!  life is what matters now… I thought within.🤨

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To cut the story short, they offered me some homemade remedies (palm oil and garri) to allay the weed effect. And going forward the experience became an avenue for subtle mockery and laughter whenever boredom came calling my neighbors.😒

The guy who overdosed his girlfriend with weed


I saw a tweet recently that read “what was that drink you overdosed on and you prayed to God that if the effect stops immediately, you’ll never drink again”. It made me remember my experience with weed and the lessons I garnered and so I thought, why not share…

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The things you do when no one is looking are the things that define you”. This quote began to mean so much after the weed brouhaha. You know, everything I displayed that day were the thoughts I always had hidden inside. In my mind, I am the best dancer and twerker, sometimes when I am by myself, I twerk in front of the mirror. I always want to be sexy, I always imagine myself talking and acting sexy, sometimes I even act it when I am alone. All along I thought they were mere thoughts and goofing, I never knew they were already part of me. My mind had them registered in its nook, but that day, the weed beat it to a pulp thus revealing all my demons. 

Weed beat it to a pulp thus revealing all my demons.

And the evil thoughts too…Going forward, I learned to always think more about the good things because just like that day, another day could come where it will be only me that can save myself and if I got no motivation inside me, it would become a scary mess😪. Although I still cower at the thought of dying young. God forbid! 😤. But how did weed come to be? Its efficacy remains unmatched. I was going to share my experience with alcohol too but this post already takes a cue from Mariama Ba’s So Long A Letter.  Alcohol also has a way of making me mask off completely, that’s why I never drink with people I am not comfortable with.😕 

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Now your turn! Have you ever had a horrifying high experience? I’ll like to learn about your moment of reckoning. How do you feel when you are high? Why do you feel the need to get high sometimes? And If you are sober or have never taken alcohol or weed before, I’ll like to know why, maybe for your sake, I’ll repent. And yeah… what do you make of my weed experience too?🤓


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6 min read

Fetish! Fetish! Fetish!🤤 So tell me, do you have one? I presume it’s one of those topics you’ll prefer to remain buried in your closet that is why I decided to kill two birds with one stone by pitching the discussion on Fetish and Obsessions. This means only one thing, if you don’t have a fetish or feel uncomfortable sharing, then you must be obsessed with something…like the smell of your own fart maybe.🤭

Yeah, you heard me. I know the last thing you want to do is smelling someone’s fart but guess what, you’ve been missing all along. Sniffing farts has its own health benefits. According to research, hydrogen sulfide, the gas that gives flatulence its repulsive smell, reduces the risk of heart attack, stroke, cancer and helps stave off dementia. Since I found out, it started to seem like I became obsessed with breaking the wind although not gathered enough confidence to savor the richness deeply because it perpetually gives me an obnoxious feeling🤮. For real though, you should research the benefits of inhaling farts, I assure you that going forward you’ll feel more confident letting out that air. 😌

Why do your farts smell that bad?RateMDs Health News

Obsessions First!

I am obsessed with the smell of menthol. The smallest sniffle from a menthol bottle is enough to make me feel alive; I inhale so deeply it feels like I just clinched an orgasm. My nostrils are promiscuous when it comes to trying out menthols, they are so trained they can tell what brand makes the best and the brands making a rookie mistake. When I was younger, I dug a hole in our mattress, I would usually pinch the foam off daily because I needed a stench of menthol to see me off to school. Every morning I will dip a piece of foam in a menthol jar to be sure it’s well saturated in it then I’ll hold it with me and sniff it at intervals. As an adult, it’s my handkerchief that bears the brunt. You’ll always find a yellow stain because of its continuous immersion in Menthol. 🙃

Are you also obsessed with Menthol? I’ve met some people who get agitated at the smell of it. If you are one, NEWSFLASH…! THAT’S YOUR CUP OF TEA!.☹ Hmmm, what else am I obsessed with? I used to love binge drinking Fanta and popcorn. The duo played well as the perfect couple for my belly, in fact offering me a treat with the combo was a way to appease me if you fell off my wagon. But not anymore after the boy I loved who always gave me so much of it got ****** (fill the gap). Now my current man serves me Malt and Milk goals, should I be scared? 🧘‍♀️
As an adult, it’s my handkerchief that bears the brunt. You’ll always find a yellow stain because of its continuous immersion in Menthol.

Even though I read that any obsession is dangerous, we all gotta be obsessed with something. You’re probably saying to yourself right now “But I got none?” Guess what, some people are actually obsessed with smelling their armpit and chances are that you fall in that category. If your answer is ‘NO’, it means you love to itch underneath and relish on the odor like a sumptuous three square meal…right?? 😜You gotta have an obsession. Shuuuuuu🤫… its porn right? Don’t worry, I promise not to tell.

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And then there’s Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which I like to believe I’ve escaped from. Thanks to my little Nephew who scatters the house immediately I’m done arranging. His action proved to me that some obsessions die after all by mere looking away. No therapy needed.💆‍♀️

And then there’s Obsessive Compulsive Disorder which I think I’ve escaped from…

Now What??? FETISH!!!

Can I plead the fifth in telling my fetish? I was rooted to the spot the day I read a story on one of these relationship blogs about a man saying he couldn’t cum except he is sexing his lady on her period. LIKE!!! MENSTRUAL BLOOD IS WHAT TICKLES SOMEONE!!! I thought sexual intercourse should be avoided at that time of the month.🤢

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I became curious about knowing people’s fetishes. I needed to be sure I had friends on the normal side because people can look normal but they’ll have you running for your dear life the day you discover all that’s buried in their closet. 


In case you are a little lost, a fetish is typically referred to as a behavior that someone cannot get sexually aroused without. It is also a term people use to describe sexual arousal that is coupled with a typically non-sexual object. For instance, there are some men who cannot make sweet love to a lady except she’s on heels, some ladies love role-playing, some are attracted to piercings, some, a certain color or type of underwear, etc. All these are mild fetishes.

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Some fetishes are really weird and bother more on the obsessive, for example, Gerontophilia (feeling sexual attraction for only people way older than you), foot fetish (licking the feet of your sexual partner) BDSM ( sex practices involving bondage, discipline, submission, and sadomasochism), etc. the most common under this is ‘Spanking’. Do you know that some people find sexual gratification through bleeding or blood? It’s called Hematolagnia. After I read this, I became less shocked about the man who loves period blood. Still strikes illegal in my eyes though.

Meet the person who gets turned on by gushing nosebleeds | Metro News

So I did a mini collation of fetishes from friends…stick with me…

“I can’t explain my love for breasts and cunnilingus (giving head). For some reason, I enjoy giving head to having sex. I’m not even the one getting the pleasure but it’s something I love so much, that’s the reason I don’t have sex with any girl that comes my way cause I want to eat her. As for my love for breasts, it’s that bad that a certain girl had to save my contact as ‘BREAST’.”- Storm.

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“I weirdly enjoy pain during sex. On me though. I like my girl to scratch and bite and beat my chest and all that…lol. It’s mad steamy. That’s my fetish”- Bite

As for my love for breasts, it’s that bad that a certain girl had to save my contact as ‘BREAST’

“Lol, I don’t have one. I think people that have fetishes are those that are sexually active, I might be wrong. But for my ex, he liked to bite my cheek, that was his own fetish”.– Aure

“I personally get aroused by V-line abs. Not every guy has it, even some guys with packs don’t have it. That alone can make me take off my pants. But then he has to be shirtless, wearing loose pants or just boxers for me to see it.”– Jules

Read: Men Talk! How To Get Rid of Boners in Public

“I like thighs cause they are attractive to look at, sensual to touch, and exciting to play with. Thighs give a sense of innocence. The fairer the thigh, the better. (For obvious reasons).”- Obuora

Let’s play a game, ‘Fetish or Obsessions or Both’.

These were my best five responses. They made me laugh and imagine quite some sensual rubbish though. While Fetishes can be an obsession, an obsession is not always a fetish, now you see why I picked the duo for a discussion, there’s an obvious thin line. But what causes people to have sexual fetishes though? 

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You know what, let’s play a game, ‘Fetish or Obsessions or Both’. I’ll love to hear about your fetish or obsession (or both), and what you think caused it. It’s okay if you cannot trace the cause. I know you’re longing to hear my fetish, well I mentioned it earlier, mine is the most common under ****. If you’re fond of deliberately skipping lines when you read, then you missed mine. Perhaps you should just forget about it and say yours.😴


4 min read

My first sex was more of an abuse than an experience, 10-years-old me getting deflowered by my female cousin who I think was about 18-years-old. Looking back, I wonder how a teenager got so spoilt, perhaps she was abused too.

She always came over especially during the weekend and on one occasion, she took a liking to touch me when no one was home. I didn’t think much of it then as I always felt since she bathed me and she was older there was no reason to object. Maybe I liked it also, I can never say, but then she kept playing with my penis every time we were alone. Fortunately for her, we were always alone, as I was an only child then and my parents were never around.

first sex experience
Fortunately for her, we were always alone, as I was an only child then and my parents were never around.

One day, I was on my bed reading (one of those kid storybooks) when she came in and asked me to massage her back. I was glad to abandon my book as I was already bored, she took off her clothes in front of me and made me stare at her boobs. I was amazed at the sight so I got on her back and started rubbing her back. She turned and I had her breasts in my hands. She got me to rub them and before I knew it, she already got my penis out of my pants.

Read: Am I The Only One Who Can’t Stand Kids?

Then she asked me to take my clothes off and lie on my back. I obeyed and she started blowing me, I had never ever felt the way I felt that day. It wasn’t comfortable, the only thing I knew my penis was for was to pee, the idea of a mouth sucking it was strange and confusing for me. After that she started fingering herself and she sat on my dick, at first I didn’t know what she was doing was called sex, it didn’t even occur to me that that moment would mar my life for a very long time.  She got on with riding me till I started crying and grumbling that my penis was hurting. She threatened that if I don’t remain quiet, she was going to slap me. She kept riding and moaning until she started shivering and collapsed on me. Afterwards, she got dressed and acted like that day never happened till today.

first sex experience
Afterwards, she got dressed and acted like that day never happened till date.

It was like a game I didn’t understand, from that moment I wasn’t the same, I kept wondering what happened. I was confused and curious to know what we did, I couldn’t ask my parents because we were not close. I didn’t know I was even dis-virgined until two years later when I watched my first porn and knew what sex really was. I got curious and wanted to experience the feeling again. I became obsessed with anything that had to do with sex. 

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I wanted to experience that feeling again with my cousin.  I was addicted to her, I would smell her panties and clothes, even if it’s just to feel myself and get hard. Unlike me, she was mean to me afterwards, she never called me up for it and kept acting like nothing happened. But I wanted her, I wanted her to ride me again, but she never wanted me again. I was obsessed with her until I was about seventeen years old.

first sex experience
Until two years later when I watched my first porn and knew what sex really was

The incident made me addicted to sex. I lost count of the number of girls I have slept with just to experience that never-ending lust and sexual urge my cousin created in me. I couldn’t have a normal relationship with girls, I didn’t have a female friend that I never wanted to sleep with, my relationships didn’t last four months as I was never satisfied with the same girl after three times of having sex with them.

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Much later in my adult life, it dawned on me that it wasn’t normal so I opted to see a counsellor. I realized the sexual abuse was what triggered my obsession with sex so I began therapy. As time went on, I got help and started living a normal life. 

first sex experience
There’s no soul connection or bond there, it isn’t two lovers meeting each other in blissful pleasure and harmony, it’s just sex.

You might think that my opinion is biased because of my experience but sex is overrated. I know a lot of styles and I’ve slept with all types of girls, so it really isn’t anything more than the penetration and cumming after minutes of pounding. There’s no soul connection or bond there, it isn’t two lovers meeting each other in blissful pleasure and harmony, it’s just sex. 

Virgins shouldn’t burst their caps or sweat their balls trying to perfect their first time, but they should just be careful with who they lose it to because we always most of the time end up getting addicted to our first partners. 


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2 min read

I woke up to the heartbreaking news of a girl called Lizzy, she claimed she was introduced to drugs by her ex-boyfriend.

While I was trying to wrap my head around the story, what alarmed me was the reaction of people to it.

I saw people blaming her situation on poverty, others where blaming her parents, but honestly, all these have nothing to do with why she is an addict.

READ: Could you be hooked? 10 surprising addictions

From what I understood, she gravitated from weed to cocaine, her ex-boyfriend who played the devil’s incarnate, is not also the reason why she is an addict.

Curiosity makes a lot of people take drugs, but for someone to gravitate to being unable to live without it, there must be something wrong inside.

There may be something she is running away from, there may be something she is trying not to feel, we can’t all be jumping into conclusion.

There may be something she is trying not to feel…

Like they always say, the best way to combat drug addiction is not to try it, and don’t experience the solace it brings.

Cocaine is very addictive, and in very little time, it gets too late. You are hooked before you can say ‘Jack Robinson’. But before throwing blames at addicts, understand that it is always more than the drugs.

READ: Emotion is a Lie

Addiction comes hand-in-hand with a lot of mental health and emotional issues. People who suffer anxiety might go to drugs to cope, people with depression might also go to drugs and so on like that.

The only way I think addiction can end, is if we look out for, and support each other, I sincerely hope Lizzy gets the help she needs.


Note: This article was written by Banji Coker, owner and publishing editor of FibbsKulture