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5 min read

“If I give you my all would you love me? Well, probably not because that goodbye kiss tasted like something that came out from the devil’s lips”. 

I once said to my heart, “take me back to my first heartbreak will you?” It said no, for the memory like the night, is dark and full of terrors. But guess what, without a hitch, renowned Nigerian poet and spoken word artist, Banji Coker, brought back those memories with his latest EP ‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot me!’

What can you say about your first heartbreak? For some, it was the death of a loved one, and some the disappearance of true love from their lives.

Read: Addiction Is Not As Straightforward As You Think

Banji Coker’s ‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot Me’, capitalizes on the innocence of true love and the betrayal of love. He narrates his first heartbreak and the baggage it comes with. Is there a possibility of finding love again in the future? From his tone, we can see that the baggage is so heavy and it will take a lot of weight to pull it down. 

The Life of A Broken Heart 

Especially if it’s your first, heartbreaks triggered by lost love takes a long time to get replenished and Coker’s EP hit these areas in a subtle but piercing manner. 

Look in retrospect, see through all the love you’ve entertained your whole life, there is always that one person who leaves you not only heartbroken but makes you question your esteem. Why did they go away? Was I not good enough? Who are they smiling with right now? Could I not have made her happy enough to stay?

If you see me liking a girl, shoot me
Because that goodbye kiss tasted like something that came out from the devil’s lips.

‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot Me’ paints Coker as a total failure at love and worst off, a rookie in getting over it. This is also the story of most of us who for every time we remember, a part of us dies. In his case, Coker cannot remember to forget the parting kiss.

He is hurt and desperately looking for a remedy. “…because I have been going around in cycles trying to figure out what exactly is the right thing to do…”

How do Broken Hearts Heal?

Do broken hearts heal? Well, I can’t really say, maybe for some and that’s after a very long time. For the better half, it metamorphoses into a variety of phobia especially at finding love again.

Coker Voyages a web of delusion. He finds himself comparing a prospective love affair to his past, while unable to wake up to the reality that his lover has gone.

“With the little space between your teeth, you reminded me of someone I fail at forgetting. Then, with that awkward smile after, I knew you were a no go area”.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BSKEi2WBgjO/ Follow... | Dark skin ...

Many of us walk the same path as Coker. One heartbreak and we shut the doors completely. If we let in, we don’t let in completely, paranoia becomes the other of the day. 

It’s always a tough one for our new significant other. They keep wondering where they have gone wrong and sometimes get their self-esteem trampled on in trying to love us. 

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My Five Cents: Rebounds do not work. If you are not ready to love again then be like Coker, make it a no-go area. He said “…You would think we would be so in sync but then again I can’t forget my history. I owe my heart such responsibility.” Love yourself enough to heal first before taking a step with love again. 

Love is beautiful but never force a person to love you, if you see that they aren’t completely over their ex, allow them be. Don’t promise them love because you’ll end up nursing a baggage too heavy for your hands to carry.

Read: About Muttering Minds
Friends Who Become Lovers. Does It Ever Last? - P.S. I Love You
Love is beautiful but never force a person to love you

Curtains Close

Even though love is preached as kind, patience, and sacrifice, you must also bear in mind that it is at every corner waiting to embarrass you if given the chance.

‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot Me’ is a nostalgic smudge for anyone who has experienced true love and heartbreak. 

Remember those nights when you had no one to call because explaining the situation does not do justice to how your entire being feels? 

Remember those days when you hoped your phone rang and it will be their name on display?

Did you forget so soon the times you couldn’t eat but the only strength running was used to power those tears that trickled down your cheek?

Light Sleepers vs. Heavy Sleepers | Everyday Health
Remember those nights…

Recall the times you fondled your pillow and ran your legs across the bed begging sleep to sweep you off your feet? But it won’t? 

If you remember all these or at least one, free your mind, allow Coker take you on this journey of love and hurt. Hearty Cheers to those who have healed. Breathe! for solace is coming for you too seeking healing.

Click here to listen to Coker’s ‘If You See Me Liking A Girl, Shoot Me’. For Deezer,  Click here!

 

Note: It’s a four-part EP. This review is for one part alone, an appetizer to make you long for the rest of it. I’ll await your feedback. 

 

2 min read

Just as I was approaching my graduation ceremony in college, I had a serious fall out with a friend, wouldn’t want to go into details but it made us stop talking till date and mind you it’s been over two years as I write. 

Surprisingly, she sent me a text yesterday saying she just lost her dad and asked if I could come for the burial. 

Like helloooo!!! No apologies?  I understand how sensitive it is to lose someone but why text me? so I can offer my condolence and be there for her in any way possible?

But for God’s sake! This is someone who didn’t send me a ‘sorry text’ or asked me how I’ve been faring and viola she plays this card😒.  Leaving her text unattended verifies me as insensitive, I know, but all I can make from this is that she is trying to exploit my humane side for some cheap patchy reconciliation. Some bloody guilt trip!

reconciliation
Never to be caught faking a smile

Why is it hard to admit we are wrong without being melodramatic about it or trying to manoeuvre with guilt trip mechanisms? 

Asides from what my friend did, we humans are naturally this way. A matter that simple “I am sorry” can make well, we wouldn’t bulge but instead, we try to play silly comeback cards. 

READ: Tributes should not be a bed of lies…Stop!

Someone gets your goat and instead of apologizing immediately, waits until it is either your birthday, they are terribly sick or worst of had a near-death experience. They feel wishing you a happy birthday atones for their sins and before you say jack, you have given in to all their nasty smiles again.

READ: If Murder was legal for a day

 If you are guilty of this, stop. In as much as you want sympathy, first, apologize. If you sincerely feel the need to reconcile with someone, you should do so without any leverage to fall back on. Life is not hard😏

Dear friend, if your dad hadn’t died would you have texted me?

2 min read

When you wrong someone, cease having the conviction that at the mention of these tricky three words; “I am sorry”, you will be redeemed.

It is sad to agree that we have been trained to see apology as a currency but that’s what it has become. We use apologies to buy our way through certain offenses as though we are purchasing a commodity. 

A Lot of times we get mad that despite being apologetic the other party has refused to bat an eye. For example, you were told to resume at the parade ground at 6 am and that failure to be there on time will warrant some corporal punishment. You arrived late and you think pleading will be your saving huh? You keep begging but the instructor won’t bat an eye. Now because you could not buy your way this time with the tricky three ‘I am sorry’ you conclude that the instructor is wicked… “Upon my pleadings, this man wasn’t moved… He’s so wicked”… You say. 

apology
Yes, you said ‘sorry’, but you lost the chance.

The tricky three is also promiscuously used in our relationship with people… It’s very crude to say “But I have apologized to him(her), why still proving difficult?”. Are there any commodities up for auction here?😟 Hello! I understand you are sorry but sorry darling, the tricky three is not a hall pass. Yes, you said it! Yes, the other person is aware! but like I said earlier, it’s not a hall pass neither will it breach the rules for you. 

READ: When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough

It is foolish to call a person ‘wicked’  because they stuck to their guns. If you keep getting a hall pass for all the tricky threes you’ve said all your life, imagine how careless you will have become? No! that’s an affront to the word ‘Careless’, I bet you would have been so far gone…perhaps Merriam Webster has to coin a new word for such behavior. 

READ: SHE’S SORRY! SHE’S PREGNANT!

Stop exploiting the richness of the word ‘Sorry’, Saying ‘sorry’ is not a currency that reedems you from whatever offence you must have committed neither does it mean you are repentant… Wait a minute! Did you get that? OK let me put it this way… How about we do a trade by barter here, I forgive you and then you are automatically repentant😊… How cool is that? It’s impossible Yeah! I know! Just like you wish apologies can be a currency for you, someone out there wishes it can be immediate repentance for you. Just maybe when apology starts to mean repentance then it  could be considered a currency too.