are there blessings attached to virginity?

7 min read

Whenever adult male virginity is raised in a conversation, there is usually an expected glare of surprise, and a dominating culture shock filling the atmosphere. Like Jeeeezzzzz it’s almost impossible to believe that even a day-old male child is a virgin, talk more of an adult. Losing virginity for the male folk has always been an ego massager and a level of bragging rights. Typical Nigerian parlance, you’ll often hear guys bant  “You don fuck girl before?”, or a not so diplomatic mockery from a fellow man to another, “Why you dey behave like virgin”, which in the actual sense means “You ought to be smart”. Isn’t it ridiculous that there seems to be an almost generalized assumption that male virgins are not smart? It also sounds absurd that for a man to be well respected, he must have had sex with a lady, and the higher the body count, the higher the respect accorded him. 

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Do men even understand what it means to wait? Unlike we women whereby virginity is used as a social construct to tame us, you know how we ladies especially as teenagers fondly gushed with these lines “I’ll like to wait till marriage”, “I made an oath with God that I wouldn’t lose my virginity until marriage”, “My virginity is sacred”, and so on. It’s almost impossible to find a man that upholds any of these and even if he exists, he mostly lacks the confidence to be vocal about it, I’m sure you know why.

male virginity
Source- Essence

Maybe I’m Wrong…

So a few years ago I met this dude who I vibed with so much and you know how youthful exuberant-inclined conversations play out, both parties are always curious about the other person’s sex life. And boom he hit me with the “I’m a virgin” line and also went ahead to preach chastity. The only logical question I could ask him was “Are you a virgin for lack of opportunity or it’s a decision?”  He maintained that it’s his decision and went all preachy about the spiritual implication of having sex. Well well, he was 25-years-old at the time and four years down the line, he’s lost his virginity at 29. Finding out, I said to him “Dude you know what, I need you to share your experience on your long spanned virginity on Muttering Minds. Male virginity is a topic that should be explored”. Thankfully he agreed…

adult male virginity
Source- Life Hacker

His Story…

Despite losing my virginity at a very shocking age (29) for my gender, sex still remains a very sacred act to me. Can’t deny I had sexual fantasies as a teenager which I think is normal, but I grew up in a religious home where rather than attending to my fantasies, it was only wise to follow the status quo which was being chaste. My mother did a good job of making sure we followed suit. 

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However, getting to my 20’s, I started knowing girls on a deeper wavelength and the urges naturally came. I had my share of wet dreams too and most mornings I woke to sperm splatter all over my briefs and sometimes an erection. I also watched porn sometimes but never masturbated instead I indulged in some freaky shit when in close corners with ladies like kissing, smooching but it never led to ejaculation or sex. I was careful because I had read about the spiritual implications, like diseases, bad luck, ancestral curses and so on that can be transferred through sex, so waiting felt like the right thing to do. It was also a personal decision too, I did not want to tie my soul with anyone that will not be my wife.

Male Virginity
Source- Cooglife

I was not vocal about my virginity, I was not shy about it either because I understood it was not easy to stay chaste, so I didn’t rub it on a fornicator’s face. I didn’t boast about it either and I also was not ashamed of it when asked. And even when I met guys who boasted about their sex life, I never felt intimidated at all because I knew they don’t really know what they are engaging in. For my female friends, I always gave and still give advice on how not to get exploited or abused sexually. 

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Despite being vocal about my virginity when I could, I was never a turn-off for ladies, rather they found it attractive. They often said “who will pop you? She must be lucky bla bla bla…” Matter of fact, male virgins are always attractive to the female folks, they smell the pheromone from afar, and find it very sexually attractive. 

The History of Pheromones | male virginity
Source- Hankering For History

I lost my virginity because of my girlfriend, I had starved her for many years sexually, so I decided that when I will eventually have sex with her will be closed to getting married to her. But unfortunately, we didn’t get married again. My first sex felt good and worth it, although I cummed quick and felt like an amateur, subsequently, I learned the science… “before I cum, I make her cum, that’s what I came to do”

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And of course, I will be elated to marry a virgin. There is a special blessing attached to that. It’s ideal to meet your husband or wife as a virgin. Though society makes it look wack, it doesn’t mean it’s not a virtue. My advice for both genders is to stay sealed. Keep your virginity till you find the right partner. There are so many benefits to staying chaste. There is no benefit in promiscuity. None!! 

male virginity
Source- Vice



I’m guessing you poked some areas in his story or maybe not. Well, we both know that his opinion is rare especially judging by the evolvement of the world where chastity doesn’t make the news. I remember a conversation with a pal on Naked Minds, he asked me what sex meant to me and I told him sex was sex to me and it upset him. He felt I wasn’t being open enough. To date, I often wonder what he expected me to say. I must be frank, the whole spiritual attachment to sex seems scary, and due to not wanting to overthink it, I resolved some time ago to see sex as a mere scientific face valued activity for reproduction or pleasure. 

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Come to think of it, why is it that virtually all adult virgins on planet earth indulge in one form of sexual activity or the other, some very intense like blowjobs and sucking boobies. I have never met a completely chaste virgin why??? I tag it fraudulent. If you want to be chaste, then be it in all forms! 

msle virginity
Source- GQ

On this note, I have some pertinent questions I’ll like to pick your brains on. Do you agree that sex is more spiritual than scientific? Please share your reasons.  However, just like he exists, I am certain there are some other male virgins out there and I’ll really love to hear varying opinions. If you’re a male virgin reading this, I’m curious to know, how vocal are you about your non-sexual life? Has it been a case of waiting for you or lack of opportunity and inferiority complex? 

Now, to non-virgin males, prior to losing your virginity, did you understand the concept of ‘waiting’ or you were only eager to know what the cookie tasted like?

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Also, it’s ironic that my friend said ladies found it attractive he was a virgin, I know for certain, most men avoid ladies who are virgins for mostly fear of blood and lack of performance, I would have sworn ladies avoided men too. To the ladies reading this, what’s your opinion about male virginity? Can you date a guy who’s a virgin?

I know its so many pointers in one story, but we can discuss, right😊? Please leave me your honest comments below 👇👇.




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