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bad parenting

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4 min read

It has been an insufferable journey living with an abusive parent. One who thinks less about others and feels on top of the world. Was God wrong to have brought me to this world as his child? My father has been abusing me since I arrived on this earth and became aware of myself. No, not the sexual kind of abuse but a father’s hatred; emotional torment.

You know why? My sex kills him each day. He hates that I am a female child and worse off, he hates my mother even more. What more can a woman who the creator blessed with only girls as children do if the man she bore them for curses the day he walked down the aisle with her? I have watched her countless times get disrespected, taken for granted,  and abused both verbally and physically. I refuse to question God in all but…

father's hatred
I have watched her countless times get disrespected, taken for granted,  and abused

Where I come from, the female child is worthless. Yes! Even in this digital era, she has no right and shouldn’t be seen let alone heard. This isn’t human but unfortunately, I and my sisters carry the burden. There is something about broken parenting that messes with the mental state of a child. I am treated badly by the man whose shoulder I should be resting on and calling proudly  “FATHER”. For every time we speak, never are there kind words.

Read: Diabetes Snatched Him Away From Us

It feels so strange whenever I come across someone gushing so much sweetness about their father. I cannot relate because all I have known is a father’s hatred. I was brought up to be scared of my father, even till now as an adult, the fear eats me up that I don’t believe there are good fathers out there. If I were God, I wouldn’t have blessed him with kids but no God already gave him wonderful and lovely girls whom he disregards and calls “BUNCH OF DISAPPOINTMENT” at will.

Father's hatred
Wonderful and lovely girls whom he disregards and calls “BUNCH OF DISAPPOINTMENT” at will.

He doesn’t care about our basic needs talkless of supporting our ambition. To be frank, I wish God will just answer my silent prayers already. What do you make of a man who physically and verbally abuses his wife in front of his children? What do you think of a man who hits his children for mere things he could be calm and talk to them about? What do you think of a man who listens to outsiders other than his family?

The thought is overflowing and it breaks my heart every day. It makes me think less of life. I don’t need a soothsayer to tell me that he doesn’t wish me good in life. For every penny he spends on our tuition or whatever, he is only concerned about what he will gain. He doesn’t believe in helping a child start up something he or she wants to achieve in life. Oftentimes he will threaten to chase me and my sisters out of his house.

father's hatred
Is home really where the love is like people say?
Read: What do I do when my dad is horrible and I can’t take it anymore?

He doesn’t provide as a father should yet his paranoia drives him bonkers. He screams to the rooftop asking us where we got the money from whenever we met our needs without his aid. One thing I regret is that I am a good child. I wish I was so spoilt and rude so I could serve him a taste of his own madness. I feel I wasted my time in the university for not mixing up with a bad company, maybe I could have made enough money never to return to his house.

Is home really where the love is like people say?  What is God’s plan that I have to go through this phase in life? Living with a father’s hatred? When I was younger I used to tell myself that his bullshit won’t matter in some year’s time, but here I am, I have dealt with it long enough but still not used to it.

father's hatred
I wish I could be proud to call him ‘dad’

With my eyes filled with tears, I write this. I really wished he was a lovely father, I wish I can be home and have a peaceful moment. I wish I could be proud to call him ‘dad’ because I feel there is more to calling him that than he just assuming the tag of a father. How painful is it to have lived above 25 and still be treated like a 12-years-old?  It is painful knowing that I cannot love my father like a friend. I hate that whenever he calls me there is always the feeling of “you must have done something wrong”.

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I have no regret being a girl child because I know I will do better than even a male child. The only regret I have is not being accepted by the only man who should matter in my life. How do I deal with my father’s hatred?

2 min read

While I was a kid, anybody my parents had a fall out with, be it a woman or a man, who are far beyond my age, automatically becomes my enemy.

Worse off, we would declare war on their entire family. Regarding their kids,  I and my siblings will form a mini cult re-affirming ourselves never to engage them in a chat. Of course, their kids did the same, I mean we were wrapped around the same mentality. Even though it didn’t feel right most times, I had to get into character otherwise several strokes of the cane would be paying my buttocks some homage (most African families can relate). So long as there was an unresolved dispute, we weren’t allowed to wish them a harmless ‘good morning’ because if mummy or daddy finds out ehn 😢. 

READ: DID YOU KNOW PARENTS ARE THE BEST PRETENDERS

I’m older now and looking in retrospect, it’s funny but not funny. Very glad I am able to discern right from wrong without navigating through my parents perspective. It’s an utter ignominy to see some grown-ups still basking in the euphoria of inheriting their parent’s enemies.

Parents
Even when it comes to family

16 Signs You Are A Bad Parent And 7 Ways You Can Fix It

Why do parents mandate kids to inherit their enemies? 

READ: If this is your Idea on Parenting, Don’t Procreate!

If you had similar experiences growing up, I will love to hear from you in the comment session too.

 

 

< 1 min read

What’s the need for Procreation when in the long run you’ll blame your misfortune on the kids?

Do you expect that they live their life in yours till death has a grip on u?

Do you expect that they keep pleasing you at all times even when it’s never in their favour?

parenting
Scolding does not mean you are a bad parent but what kind of words do you say when you scold your child.

Are they supposed to live with you constantly reminding them you’re the reason behind their existence?

Is provision a condition?

If this is your idea on parenting, PLEASE DON’T PROCREATE!!

READ ALSO: Bad Parenting Signs and How They Can Affect Your Child

< 1 min read

Dear Mutterers, I fear that parents are the best pretenders you can ever come across, I really don’t know how they master this act but they sure excel well at it. 

My parents, for example, can be a handful to us their kids but it’s funny how the tables turn when our friends or the cousins come over for a vacation. 

I  begin to see a different side to my parents, which makes it the perfect time to take advantage you know lol!  I could ask them for anything at that time and viola! my wish is their command. How they wear fake smiles so comfortable mehn! It’s  genius. 

Times like this, my cousins or friends can press several buttons (mumu button) asking them for favours they normally wouldn’t say yes to us, their kids. But it sure works this time, funny enough I sometimes incite these acts.

“Your parents are actually cool you know?”…there goes my friend commending. It’s funny and yet not funny because if only they knew how much of a disciplinarian they are, they wouldn’t dare say. Maybe they should spend a month or more.

I hate to say this but because of the ‘put up appearance’ my parents do whenever there is a visitor, I can never visit someone’s home and feel all relaxed thinking their parents are actually nice. I always understand that my visit is one of those times they need to be at their best behaviour especially in theatrics. The mastery of these activities though can be scary, one can’t tell where the real love at *sighs*…

Maybe pretence is part of the package that comes with being a parent. They can’t help but show some love even if they have to fake it right? Parenting is definitely a tough skill.