Being unconscious

2 min read

Am I the only one who catches themselves absent-minded in the middle of conversations or current happenings? Yesterday I was with a group of friends, we had a discussion about the mind of a mentally unstable person, how we think it works. 

My mind began wandering on images of mad people in a mental home, I even imagined myself mad. I imagined what it will be like to be sane if I were mad, wouldn’t I see the sane as mad and me as sane? I could picture myself throwing tantrums like a loony… Is this normal? 

Do you know that they had gone past the conversation and I was still stuck on it, unable to redirect my mind… Whew!

I want to be able to wash my clothes and stay on them literally. Think of how colourful and delicate the fabrics are, how warm or cold the water is to my palms and perhaps how they will fare underneath sunshine or rainfall. But I am weird. I go as far as imagining the fabrics have a real-life and are communicating with themselves as I wash. I imagine some are unhappy that my hands are too harsh on their skin. I imagine some have their favourite spots on the hanging line and they want me to always place them there. I imagine some have injuries (holes in the fabric) and they want me to fix it ASAP because it really hurts to have a cut talk more of letting water get into it…

How the mind travels into oblivion is inexplicable

Don’t get me wrong. I love my mind, especially it’s resilience at imagining stuff, how it puts me in different shoes all the time is amazing. But I will appreciate a flip of the coin sometimes. I want to be able to enjoy discussions without anyone asking “Are you okay? Are you enjoying the hangout? You seem away”

I listened to a preacher early this morning, he said he’s always here. He lives in the moment, not worrying about what might come. And I asked myself… “Is this possible for you?”. Was he exaggerating? Is it really possible to be here? cause I wanna know how it feels like.  Are you always here?