I am Muttering

Testifiers are Performers

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2 min read

What’s the mood of the testimony session in your church? Melodramatic or calm? Of course, it is melodramatic most of the time yeah… 

Are you like me who have never given testimony in church before? If yes, I’m sure your reason is as good as mine or a bit at least.

Giving testimonies in the church comes with a subliminal rule, a rule that requires the testifier to be melodramatic; at least to an extent. I’m sure this is why most of us will prefer to keep testimonies to ourselves or share with a few friends because it is not in our nature to be overtly extra.

Giving testimonies in the church is what I like to describe as ‘performing arts’, you just have to get into character.

NOTE: If you must testify, you must have performing skills. Nobody made the rule, it came about subconsciously! To testify, you must be a performer, who is required to move the crowd with melodramatic techniques if not the congregation would just be gawking at you.

READ: What We Get Wrong About ‘Giving Our Testimony’

Last Sunday a brother in church before service proper told me about something good that happened with him. He was calm while testifying to me. I believed all he said and prayed to have such a blessing. You know the whole ‘tap into this blessing shenanigans’, that’s what I did.

Now guess what happened during the testimony session..this same brother took the stage and I couldn’t recognize his story anymore. He went all melodramatic on narrating, so many hyperboles and onomatopoeias in context… If I were blind, I would have sworn it was someone else on stage.

testimony in church
Scene one, take two; lights, camera, action!

I didn’t rack my head so much on why he had to behave that way. Of course, it was the performing arts at work, he needed to get into character. A culture he has witnessed over time from previous testifiers. 

Most times  I wonder why people cannot be modest in giving their testimonies, is modesty uninteresting? Modesty meets me well, it helps me not beg the question of lies, unlike melodrama where I keep asking myself, “Why is he lying?”, “Could this have happened?”

 There have been tons of testimonies I always wish I could share with the church but this subliminal culture won’t let me. I don’t know how to be extra. Let me ask you sincerely: If I came all calm dishing my testimony, and you are among the crowd, how would you respond?

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2 years ago

Sometimes when you calmly share your testimony, people assume you are not really appreciative of God’s blessings. I don’t like it when people share their testimonies with theatricals. I’d rather you share your testimony calmly. Save the drama for the drama club. Don’t tell us you have a testimony then break into a song. A lot of people do that. “Brethren I have a testimony to share, but before that I want to render a short song to the Lord”. More often than not, the songs are not short. The congregation responds well to a testifier who shares his/her testimony… Read more »

2 years ago

Ah yes testimonies, back when I used to attend church services I found out most of the people giving testimony are actually lying. Yes big fat lie! I used to believe does lies till I discover the truth about this so called testimonies. Most people use it to brag to show that they are successful. Early last year I asked one of my friend why does he goes to church stand in front of the congregation and lie, he told me he was speaking in faith. God is really a patient God no wonder the bible says judgement will start… Read more »

2 years ago
Reply to  Oche

Your friend is pathetic.

Dante Onwe
Dante Onwe
2 years ago

Recently i shared my testimony in church and generalised everything God had done for me so that all those witches in church wont know where to attack me from 😂

Dante Onwe
Dante Onwe
2 years ago

That sex for marks abi grades lecturer/pastor no be wizard him be? lol call girls too are in church on sunday after saturdays hard work …infact i was warned to choose deliverance services carefully because spirit wey them deliver dey find new host lol haha my hand no dey oh

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