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I am Muttering

The Long Wait, The Lessons, and my Identity Crisis!

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6 min read

Yassssssss we are back! 💃💃I know right, we’ve been away for about a month if I’m counting correctly. My apologies, I missed you too. The wait was frustrating but I found myself sapping solace from the bigger picture (I hope you can see it too)🤗.

You know one of those setbacks where you are unable to help yourself yet you beat yourself each day for not being able to help yourself as if it will solve it but NO. At the end of the day, you are left with yourself, dancing alone and disrobed in the distress. So what do you do? Motivate you?🤔

 

The Long Wait.

I kid you not; these past weeks harboured the longest days of my life. Like what the hell?! I’m so used to this. Starting my day with sharing stories and awaiting your feedback and equally re-sharing in between is unapologetically my lifestyle. A heavenly race I have been running for nine months, so you can imagine how not posting for three days talk more of a month encroached on my sanity.🥺

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These past weeks harboured the longest days of my life

Do you ever have something wrong with you (a setback precisely) that takes charge of your entire being? It controls your feelings down to your roots that you find yourself ignoring every other part of your life no matter how important they are until that particular shit is fixed? This summarizes my life for the past month. Remember I asked in the first paragraph ‘Motivate you?’

Read: Addiction Is Not As Straight Forward As You Think

When something I hold dearly crashes and burns or seems like it, it’s hard for me to hear myself breathe. I find it difficult to motivate me. And the flip side about the chips being down is that no matter what every other person says to you, only you can help yourself. If you can motivate you, you’ll be fine in no time but for me, it’s a course I fail to pass. More than anything, I find myself sinking in the rigours until the problem manages to fix itself in some way and then I feel better and happy just like now. Raise your hands if you are like me.✋

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When something I hold dearly crashes and burns or seems like it, it’s hard for me to hear myself breathe.

The Lessons and My Identity Crisis

It dawned on me that I have tied more than half of my happiness to my writing career (especially Muttering Minds). This wait made me realize that some key areas that should make up my existence have been dim for a long time yet I remain oblivious. Without my career, I am just a walking bag of bones inhaling oxygen. Should it be so? Who am I without having to attach the title of a writer to be seen? Who am I without having to gush over Muttering Minds?

Identity Crisis: wait
This hiatus made me realize that some key areas that should make up my existence have been dim for a long time yet I remain oblivious.

Who am I without my head signalling for inspiration or my nostrils sniffing for my next big story? Am I that daughter who knows well enough to love family and have their best interest at heart? Am I that friend who listens to her friends without having to chip in one or two things about an upcoming story or something about muttering minds? Am I that lover whose show of affection is unconditional or determined by the chronicles of my career achievements?

I’m afraid I have not been good even in relating to my creator. I go as far as debating if to talk to him first thing in the morning or send out that killer tweet. The tweet always wins the debate. At the end of the day, one tweet leads to many retweets, and then I proceed to other social networks and viola! communing with the father becomes yet another procrastinated task.

Read: What It Means To Be Having An Identity Crisis

When I ask “HOW ARE YOU?” and they respond “FINE”, I fail to push further even though I know they are just being cliché. I hastily proceed to ask “HOW FAR THAT JOB WE TALKED ABOUT”  “WHAT ABOUT THAT STUFF YOU ARE PURSUING? ANY LUCK YET?” It’s always about one race or the other revolving around career and money. Should our career or hustle define who we are?

Do we need to attach a formal title in describing ourselves to be seen? ‘A  FRIEND’, ‘A BROTHER’, ‘A SISTER’…these are titles that resonate more with breeding self peace but I’m afraid we will never value them as much.

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I wanna be that really good friend.

Somehow I am grateful for the break. Going forward, this is not to say that I won’t be pushing my career or talking to friends about what I feel might be the next big thing, but I know well enough to draw the fine line and also lighten other areas of my life. They all can shine equally and if peradventure an area gets weak or broken, it won’t disrupt the flow of my existence (refrence to the site crash) nor take away my worth. I wanna be that really good friend.

 

Growth!!

Wondering why we were away for so long?  I’m proud to announce that we have grown. Yaaahhhhh 💃💃🕺🕺feel free to clap and doff your hats, lol. Our hosting capacity could no longer contain us; yessssss our audience has grown bigger, you can clap again and maybe shake your butt a little🤸‍♂️. I had to make preparations for a new and better hosting service and you know since ‘Uncle COVID’ came on board, money became more slippery from our palms. It was a nail-biting experience trying to gather the sheaves but that’s bygone, I’m so happy to be back, you should be happy too😁. CHEERS TO MORE AND MORE AUDIENCE INCREASE!!🥂

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Cheers to more luxuriant growth!!

Anything You Should Know? 

Definitely! Asides from the hiccup that has been fixed, a lot of new ideas kept buzzing my mind throughout the hiatus but I will zip my lips for now lol. Some of the ideas have already been implemented, special thanks to the website developer Isaac Mattias🙏. You are a genius. 

Look around, spot any green text box by your left? It’s at the bottom. One-click and it takes you directly to the comment section. It also allows the writer to ask quick questions in between their story whilst you read. All you need do is give a quick answer and continue reading.

See here
3
Type your favorite color if you are able to locate this boxx
. Click the green box. 

Asides from liking, you can now rate the stories on a scale of 1-5. You will see the rating star at the end of each post. Also for the comment section, you can now include images and GIFs. You know what, take your time to explore the site properly, there are many gold mines waiting to be uncovered lol😉, I’m pretty sure you’ll love the changes.

Read: How Do You Feel About Muttering Minds

Have you heard of NAKED MINDS? Our email community? If you are subscribed already to our weekly newsletter then you should be in the loop except you don’t read your mails…too bad😟. Naked Minds have been revamped from being a regular newsletter to having what I love to call a ‘Naked’ note attached. Imagine what kind of content a newsletter dispatched at night will hold? Won’t say any further. Click here to know more and subscribe, I promise to send catch up mail links to new subscribers.

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Naked Minds banner

About Muttering Minds. Ideas are never fully formed when you set out to execute them. They are like fragments or should I say a jigsaw puzzle where you have to fix the bits each day to form a clearer picture. It can only get better.

The more I get involved with Muttering Minds, the more the vision becomes clearer. Maybe you understand the whole concept of Muttering Minds or not, you should read our ‘About Page’ again. It has been re-drafted to fill cracked holes and more importantly give clarity to all and sundry. To ensure we are on the same page throughout this muttering voyage, click HERE.

Read: Friendship Is A Ruse

That said about the long wait. How are you?😁 What have you been up to and most importantly how did not reading a story here for that long feel? Don’t tell me you cheated on me…arrrghhhhh!😡 Oh, you forgot?!  In case you need a reminder, we are in a relationship and cheating is a taboo, lol. 🤪 It’s been a pretty long while; let’s unwind in the comment section especially on the area of identity crises.

 

 

 

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Bambam
Bambam
2 months ago
See here" Read more »

Blue
Tbh…
This is so me…
Who are you outside your career.
When all your plans crash and burn.
Miss Muttering…
You are amazing…
Ps… If you are not subscribed to naked minds… 😂… You are missing out…
The last story was a bomb 💣…
OH and your web designer is 💯%

Blinkz
Blinkz
2 months ago

Nice one
Website is top notch welcome back babes

Idawor Ruth
Idawor Ruth
2 months ago

Actually I have learnt one or two lessons from this.
We shouldn’t let one part of our life be it career, relationship or any other thing overshadow other parts of our life…we should try as much as possible to avoid letting our whole happiness be based on just one part of our lives.. Other things matters too…
No matter what we are chasing or pursuing, other things matters as well.

I’m glad you are back!😁😁

Amaka
Amaka
2 months ago

Reading this I could so relate cause this is something I’ve had to deal with a number of time. I am a fashion designer and atm it’s more like my life is built around making clothes, if i am not on my phone looking for style inspirations, I am cutting fabrics or sewing. Now if something goes wrong with my sewing machine, believe me I would become so frustrated, I would not even know what to do with my time, worse is when my phone is also off, there is this horrible feeling that comes, I find it hard to… Read more »

Aji
Aji
2 months ago

Great improvements to the website! Welcome back, we sure missed you. Glad you are back!

Today’s story got me thinking as usual. Thanks for pointing this out. Lessons taken. 🙂

Last edited 2 months ago by Aji
Bubu
Bubu
2 months ago

Really glad to have you back, and I hope you won’t take another long break anytime soon. That being said regarding this post I’m sure a lot of people can relate to this identity crisis and majority have their career as the primary thing in their life, and I’m unapologetic about that. I think we need a part 2 for this post which can help us ascertain and plan our life so it doesn’t only revolve around just one thing. Those who have been able to do so can reach out and tell you how it was achieved so that… Read more »

Seyi vandy
Seyi vandy
2 months ago

First, im just admiring the site. “Ya doing well”

Ezeh nnaemeka
Ezeh nnaemeka
2 months ago

!!!!!!!!

Jules Jeremiah
Jules Jeremiah
2 months ago

I can’t either. 😂😂

Uka-amaka
Uka-amaka
2 months ago

Welcome back, we waited and here we are reading this. Well taking breaks to really think thoroughly and evaluate oneself is the best thing one can do to move forward. I did mine for just four days and knowing what I really want and what I have discovered that I can do is really great. Welcome back once again.

Jules Jeremiah
Jules Jeremiah
2 months ago

I’d have loved to say something about the “just four days”, but because we’re different individuals and take things differently, I’d hold on to my comments, especially because I have no clue who you are or what you’ve been through.

For starters, identity crisis is not a 4days decision table ooooo. I just couldn’t hold on to all my comments, the mutterer in me leaped to be mutted😂😂😂. Isn’t that why we’re on this site?😂

Okay byeee 🏇🏾

Cupid
Cupid
2 months ago

This is so heartwarming. Welcome back my love 😊😊
I have heard what I needed to hear today “Ideas are never fully formed…”
Thank you for always making each day worthwhile ❤️

Slim.
Slim.
2 months ago

I can relate.. 🙄

Ezeugo 1
Ezeugo 1
2 months ago
See here" Read more »

I so much love this.

Ezeugo 1
Ezeugo 1
2 months ago

I don’t know why I get excited when ever I see an upgrade of the site whenever I log in.

Welcome back and congratulations on your growth. I’m so happy for you. Excited to use the new features 😁

Ezeugo 1
Ezeugo 1
2 months ago

GIFs gives me an avenue to properly express my reactions.😁 and look…. I can even edit comments

Last edited 2 months ago by Ezeugo 1
Wana
Wana
2 months ago

The website is do pretty. Omdayss.
I don’t know if I can relate well to the identity crisis yet, I’m still a student, so I can’t pin my identity to a career yet. But in my head, there’s so much to do, so much to achieve, I see myself being faced with this crisis sooner or later😣

Wana
Wana
2 months ago
Reply to  Wana

Sọ pretty*

Bubu
Bubu
2 months ago

I came back to comment again, I’m loving the new look and upgrade done on the website 😌😌🥂

Jules Jeremiah
Jules Jeremiah
2 months ago
See here" Read more »

Favourite colours you mean?😌
Red, black and white☺️

Jules Jeremiah
Jules Jeremiah
2 months ago

Thank you 🤗

Jules Jeremiah
Jules Jeremiah
2 months ago

I used to be that one person that values friends and humanity till something changed inside of me. I realised I was almost never appreciated, this birthed the quest to burn my attention and place my values on something more beneficial, CAREER. This was the beginning of identity crisis for me and omo I was super clueless on where to place my values and what to focus on. And hell yeah, this has paid off. At the initial stage, I consciously ignored a lot of people, especially those who were unappreciative of my attention. Little did I know that I… Read more »

Jules Jeremiah
Jules Jeremiah
2 months ago

😂😂😂😂, grace shared.

I’m glad to be back too. I pledge my commitment 😂😂

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