The Long Wait, The Lessons, and my Identity Crisis!

Yassssssss we are back! 💃💃I know right, we’ve been away for about a month if I’m counting correctly. My apologies, I missed you too. The wait was frustrating but I found myself sapping solace from the bigger picture (I hope you can see it too)🤗.

You know one of those setbacks where you are unable to help yourself yet you beat yourself each day for not being able to help yourself as if it will solve it but NO. At the end of the day, you are left with yourself, dancing alone and disrobed in the distress. So what do you do? Motivate you?🤔

The Long Wait.

I kid you not; these past weeks harboured the longest days of my life. Like what the hell?! I’m so used to this. Starting my day with sharing stories and awaiting your feedback and equally re-sharing in between is unapologetically my lifestyle. A heavenly race I have been running for nine months, so you can imagine how not posting for three days talk more of a month encroached on my sanity.🥺

Do you ever have something wrong with you (a setback precisely) that takes charge of your entire being? It controls your feelings down to your roots that you find yourself ignoring every other part of your life no matter how important they are until that particular shit is fixed? This summarizes my life for the past month. Remember I asked in the first paragraph ‘Motivate you?’

Read: Addiction Is Not As Straight Forward As You Think

When something I hold dearly crashes and burns or seems like it, it’s hard for me to hear myself breathe. I find it difficult to motivate me. And the flip side about the chips being down is that no matter what every other person says to you, only you can help yourself. If you can motivate you, you’ll be fine in no time but for me, it’s a course I fail to pass. More than anything, I find myself sinking in the rigours until the problem manages to fix itself in some way and then I feel better and happy just like now. Raise your hands if you are like me.✋

The Lessons and My Identity Crisis

It dawned on me that I have tied more than half of my happiness to my writing career (especially Muttering Minds). This wait made me realize that some key areas that should make up my existence have been dim for a long time yet I remain oblivious. Without my career, I am just a walking bag of bones inhaling oxygen. Should it be so? Who am I without having to attach the title of a writer to be seen? Who am I without having to gush over Muttering Minds?

Who am I without my head signaling for inspiration or my nostrils sniffing for my next big story? Am I that daughter who knows well enough to love family and have their best interest at heart? Am I that friend who listens to her friends without having to chip in one or two things about an upcoming story or something about muttering minds? Am I that lover whose show of affection is unconditional or determined by the chronicles of my career achievements?

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I’m afraid I have not been good even in relating to my creator. I go as far as debating if to talk to him first thing in the morning or send out that killer tweet. The tweet always wins the debate. At the end of the day, one tweet leads to many retweets, and then I proceed to other social networks, and viola! communing with the father becomes yet another procrastinated task.

Read: What It Means To Be Having An Identity Crisis

When I ask “HOW ARE YOU?” and they respond “FINE”, I fail to push further even though I know they are just being cliché. I hastily proceed to ask “HOW FAR THAT JOB WE TALKED ABOUT”  “WHAT ABOUT THAT STUFF YOU ARE PURSUING? ANY LUCK YET?” It’s always about one race or the other revolving around career and money. Should our career or hustle define who we are?

Do we need to attach a formal title in describing ourselves to be seen? ‘A  FRIEND’, ‘A BROTHER’, ‘A SISTER’…these are titles that resonate more with breeding self peace but I’m afraid we will never value them as much.

Somehow I am grateful for the break. Going forward, this is not to say that I won’t be pushing my career or talking to friends about what I feel might be the next big thing, but I know well enough to draw the fine line and also lighten other areas of my life. They all can shine equally and if peradventure an area gets weak or broken, it won’t disrupt the flow of my existence (reference to the site crash) nor take away my worth. I wanna be that really good friend.

Growth!!

Wondering why we were away for so long?  I’m proud to announce that we have grown. Yaaahhhhh 💃💃🕺🕺feel free to clap and doff your hats, lol. Our hosting capacity could no longer contain us; yessssss our audience has grown bigger, you can clap again and maybe shake your butt a little🤸‍♂️. I had to make preparations for a new and better hosting service and you know since ‘Uncle COVID’ came on board, money became more slippery from our palms. It was a nail-biting experience trying to gather the sheaves but that’s bygone, I’m so happy to be back, you should be happy too😁. CHEERS TO MORE AND MORE AUDIENCE INCREASE!!🥂

Anything You Should Know? 

Definitely! Asides from the hiccup that has been fixed, a lot of new ideas kept buzzing my mind throughout the hiatus but I will zip my lips for now lol. Some of the ideas have already been implemented, special thanks to the website developer Isaac Mattias🙏. You are a genius. 

Look around, spot any green text box by your left? It’s at the bottom. One-click and it takes you directly to the comment section. It also allows the writer to ask quick questions in between their story whilst you read. All you need do is give a quick answer and continue reading.

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Asides from liking, you can now rate the stories on a scale of 1-5. You will see the rating star at the end of each post. Also for the comment section, you can now include images and GIFs. You know what, take your time to explore the site properly, there are many gold mines waiting to be uncovered lol😉, I’m pretty sure you’ll love the changes.

Read: How Do You Feel About Muttering Minds

Have you heard of NAKED MINDS? Our email community? If you are subscribed already to our weekly newsletter then you should be in the loop except you don’t read your emails…too bad😟. Naked Minds have been revamped from being a regular newsletter to having what I love to call a ‘Naked’ note attached. Imagine what kind of content a newsletter dispatched at night will hold? Won’t say any further. Click here to know more and subscribe, I promise to send catch up mail links to new subscribers.

About Muttering Minds. Ideas are never fully formed when you set out to execute them. They are like fragments or should I say a jigsaw puzzle where you have to fix the bits each day to form a clearer picture. It can only get better.

Read: Friendship Is A Ruse

The more I get involved with Muttering Minds, the more the vision becomes clearer. Maybe you understand the whole concept of Muttering Minds or not, you should read our ‘About Page’ again. It has been re-drafted to fill cracked holes and more importantly give clarity to all and sundry. To ensure we are on the same page throughout this muttering voyage, click HERE.

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That said about the long wait. How are you?😁 What have you been up to and most importantly how did not reading a story here for that long feel? Don’t tell me you cheated on me…arrrghhhhh!😡 Oh, you forgot?!  In case you need a reminder, we are in a relationship and cheating is taboo, lol. 🤪 It’s been a pretty long while; let’s unwind in the comment section especially on the area of identity crises.