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The Valentine’s Transaction: Gifts for Sex?

Writer- Aminu Darius
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3 min read

Talk of excitement? Valentine is upon us already. While the singles before today have been tormented hilariously with the now popular song “Valentine is coming! Where is your boyfriend”, premium lovers will be indulging in some heated romance today.

But let me ask, Is sex on Valentine’s day a must? Back in university, a guy caused an outcry when he collected the expensive gifts he bought his girlfriend on Valentine’s day because she withheld sex from him. 

The incident caused a heated debate, Some held that he acted immaturely and that getting his girl a gift didn’t mean she had to give him sex. Others felt since the guy forked out so much money for gifts, he deserved sex otherwise the girl is a gold digger.

valentine's
Does not having sex make her a gold digger?

The whole buzz about this year’s valentine made me recall the occurrence, so I asked my friend if sex was key on Valentine’s day.  “Just as rice taste better on Christmas day, sex feels better on Valentine’s day”…he responded.

What should happen then if a girl accepts gifts from her boyfriend but declines to give him sex, insisting that she took a vow of celibacy? Should she return the gift or should the guy let her keep it?

Read: Culture Shock! How Incongruous Is The Road That Leads Home? 

Lovers look forward to Valentine and attach significance to the day for different reasons. For some ladies, it’s the only day their broke or stingy boyfriend has no excuse not to buy them a gift. A boyfriend who fails to get his girlfriend a valentine’s gift goes against the spirit of Valentine and stands condemned. 

valentine's day
What do you do when she rejects the gift?

Truth is, most men dread valentine because they have to get their girlfriends gifts even if it means they have to beg, steal or borrow. A few men anticipate it because that’s the only day they get to have kinky sex and fulfill their fetish. Bottom line! Valentine’s day has become transactional; Men give gifts and expect to get sex.

My friend, who has an anal fetish, would always take an aphrodisiac on Valentine’s day because he wants to get his money’s worth. Last Valentine he and his girlfriend had kinky sex, anal sex precisely ( a request she had previously turned down). The gifts he bought her made her feel beholden to him. He told me the gifts cost him an arm and a leg and that he could only get his money’s worth if she satisfied his sexual fantasies, and she did.

Read: My Most Memorable Valentine

After a sex marathon, she came out looking fatigued as she clutched her gift like her life depended on it. How did I know this? My house is adjacent and I got to listen to some funny tunes she sang (if you know you know). And when she was leaving, the busybody in me craned out of the window to catch a glimpse of her. 

valentine's
Gifts for Sex?

Personally, I have never had a valentine’s fun moment because I have never had a girlfriend during valentine’s. I have never given anyone a valentine’s gift or received any. The universe only connects me to girls after Valentine, and for this, I’m grateful. Not that I’m so broke or stingy, it’s just that I don’t appreciate the drama associated with Valentine. If I ever were to buy someone a valentine’s gift, I’d be torn between not wanting to go bankrupt because I want to impress them or not wanting to cheapen them with the gift I buy. This alone can drive me insane.

 

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Aji
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Aji

Interesting read🙂. I have never celebrated valentine’s day. I’ve alwys been one of those lucky unlucky people that happen to be single during that period of unnecessary fuss. ( this year is different though😁🥰). The sex for gift thing is the reality of what valentine’s day is all about in this part of the world even though that’s not what it should be.

muttering minds
Admin

Awww so happy for you. Hope you celebrated in style 😁. Happy Valentine to you and yours🥰

Darius
Guest
Darius

I can’t believe Valentine is here already. I’ll try to go out today, so I don’t go green with jealousy when I see lovers engage in public display of affection. Even if I don’t go out, my friends and neighbours will remind me of my single status when they start doing the do😁😁😁😁😁😁

Being single has its good and bad side, but days like these make me wish I had a gf.

I’m sure the universe will connect me with one like it always does after Valentine.

muttering minds
Admin

“Valentine is coming, where is your girlfriend?” 🤣🤣🤣. Happy Valentine’s day, hopefully you break your jinx of singlehood next year🥰

Femi
Guest
Femi

To say valentine and sex goes paripasu, is to say that sex is for just a certain day. This ain’t the truth. To tie gifts to sex is like cheap prostitution and it is belittling. If you love someone, you won’t undervalue their worth be making yourself entitled to have sex with them because you gifted them an item. Truth is, obligatory sex on valentine’s day is one of the key pointers that he doesn’t even respect you enough to wife you. Why would a woman settle for such kinda man?

muttering minds
Admin

I wonder! But truth is this makes up 90% of the reality of Valentine’s day celebration. Happy Valentine to you, I hope you spread love genuinely this season🥰

Sarahfic
Guest
Sarahfic

The idea of guys getting sex in return for the gift they bought for their gf to me is not a show of sincere love mostly the guys that buys gift for their babes twice in a year (val and birthday) . They should have a change of mindset and appreciate the woman they have by showing her love materially and other wise 😊

muttering minds
Admin

I totally agree with you but it should be vice-versa. Happy Valentine’s to you. Hope you keep reading and contributing to our amazing stories.🥰

Zeynab
Guest
Zeynab

It’s the end of Valentine’s day and I’m here sulking like a dog that has taken alcohol.
Same as last year, I haven’t received a gift.😢😢😢😢
I can only hope for better next year.

muttering minds
Admin

Awwwww. Better luck next time right! Happy valentine’s to you, hope to see more of your comments here🥰

Obama
Guest
Obama

This year’s valentine came with so much buzz, mehnn.
.
And as always, all the sisters forming one thing one thing no even send me ordinary flowers 💐 emoji.
Hopefully next year, I can relate to what Val sex feels like. For now, I’m having headick… Nobody shuu stress me 😒

muttering minds
Admin

🤣🤣🤣 they didnt send…you should have sent now. Happy Valentine’s to you 🥰

Obama
Guest
Obama

😒😒

All the ones I’ve been sending nkọ? 🙄

Wammy
Guest
Wammy

Before reading this, I used to think I was the only person who never had cause to celebrate valentine because I usually don’t have a girlfriend during this period. Anyways, I don’t think you giving someone a gift for sex is appropriate but that is what is attainable in our environment.

muttering minds
Admin

Awwww dont worry, next Valentine will be different 🤣🤣

Darius
Guest
Darius

You are not alone, bro.

King Blessed
Guest
King Blessed

Well, I’m totally indifferent about Valentine Day celebration because I give and receive gift all the time, I don’t have to wait till a particular day for that …it is a routine for me.
Every other drama of that day are obtainable to me anytime I desire it, so Val is meaningless to me.
The first time I celebrated Valentine, I won nearly a thousand souls for Christ.

I guess that day is a big deal to the children, immature and probably the directionless.

muttering minds
Admin

Wow! What does the bible say about he that wins a soul…Wisdom!!… please share some of these gifts for me🥺

Ezeugo 1
Guest
Ezeugo 1

This is because 70% of ladies especially Nigerian ladies thinks that they are the only ones entitled to gifts on Valentine’s Day. And if they wanna give gift, they aren’t thoughtful about it. Most feel that sex is the only thing they can offer to a guy that would be appreciated which is very wrong. Alot of ladies don’t know that guys don’t really need the expensive gifts. They Just want to be pamperd like they would pamper you. Take them out and foot the bills for once, you will not die, buys them gifts as little as a T-shirts… Read more »

muttering minds
Admin

🤣🤣🤣 well said but dont you want boxers🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

Ezeugo 1
Guest
Ezeugo 1

You see what I mean? Most of You guys are not that creative in giving gifts. The singlet and boxers have been overused as gifts. Be creative

muttering minds
Admin

🤣🤣🤣 suggest some for us. Who knows, secret female Santa might be reading😁

Ezeugo 1
Guest
Ezeugo 1

Well cooked meal with a wine, face cap with his name or face branded on it, take him out on a date and pay the bills, Sneakers, T-shirt, perfume, body creams.. .. If you get the cash, you fit buy ps4.

muttering minds
Admin

🤔🤔… I am going to table your suggestions at the women forum. Who knows, we might just consider😁

Darius
Guest
Darius

Nigerian ladies are so entitled. They bring nothing to the table, but want to grab everything on the table.

muttering minds
Admin

🥺🥺