Love is patient, love is kind, it doesn’t envy, it doesn’t boast blah blah blah…really?! And why is ‘Funny’ not included as a quality of love, and how about ‘Premium Tears’? 😭Enough with Corinthians already😪! This verse of the bible is more than enough reason for me to clench to my unpopular opinion that the bible was made for a certain people at a certain time on earth. And if you ask me, just like constitutions need amendment every once in a while, the bible does too but that’s not our topic for today😶. So breathe🙇♀️…
Click Here to Stay Updated!!! Join Our Exclusive Telegram Channel / Chatroom
How many people have you loved on this earth? No, excluding your family members and the platonic friendships you’ve had. I mean the love that felt like love and made you fantasize a happy ever after but unfortunately, your ship sunk in the Bermuda Triangle🤭, leaving you to lick your wounds whilst premium tears rolled down from your eyes😭. Isn’t love funny? one moment you think THIS IS IT! And the next moment you’re rehearsing OMO X 100000000🤣.
I was talking to my friend the other day and one talk led to another and then he started to gist me about an old lover of his who suddenly showed up in his life after he announced his flamboyant engagement online🤣. She had a scroll of things to say, things she never said while they were dating, and even while the premium break up tears were still fresh😏. She had to wait 6,000 years, maybe she thought it would be better to report him to Jesus directly hence her remaining mute, but unfortunately for her, Jesus is still soon to come👩🦯.
Hmmmmm it dawned on me that we are similar, me and her, and likewise you, and many other folks out there🤫. I’ve dated a handful of boys and some men. I have seen myself happy in love and also have my head hit the wall severally to cure my pain🥲. I’ve had a great time laughing in bed, most times naked, communicating my love to the best of me, and exchanging saliva and intellect too🤤. I’ve also had a downtime weeping for love while IN LOVE, I yearned for one that spoke my language, covers my flaws and the flawed inattentiveness of these men🤦♀️. Not that I was entirely good too, some of these men found me too slow, some, very threatening to their ego💁♀️. In all, we loved till we were unable to anymore.
Letting go of love doesn’t erase the memories, it doesn’t erase the secret thoughts we shallow buried in our minds🥺. These thoughts hurt sometimes and if only we had one more opportunity to converse with our ex-lovers and let them all out… if only…👩🦯
Dear Panda:
I choose to address you as ‘Panda’ because it soothes your personality😊. No, you are not fat, but everyone loves a panda because their personality looks soothing and cute just by mere looking, and so is yours🤗. Before we started dating, I had a deep crush on you and carefully carved my steps so you’ll notice me😏. And the first day we spoke remains the only time I’ve ever been happy to come home and not find the house keys🤣🤣. If my sister had left the keys, you wouldn’t have found me stranded to involve me in a conversation🤭. The first mistake of our love was having it in secrecy and no darling, I do not blame you, I was barely 18 and my elder brother will slit your throat if he found out😑. Then again, you loved the church (I hope you still do🤥), and was the hero, the peacemaker, the exceptional final year student, the first son…yen yen yen😑… so many titles that made you feel it was a grave sin against your God and mankind when we had our first kiss and precum wetted your boxers😶.
“I feel like I’ve sinned, getting romantic with you made me feel so dirty…When I was young, a prophet told my mother that I shouldn’t be involved with a lady…” Wait! How many hours did it take you to rehearse these lines before you interrupted my beauty sleep for midnight calls🤣🤣? Till today, I wonder how a twenty-something-year-old would leave an 18-year-old hanging with some talk coated in cowardice😏. You really wish I was scared of prophets🤣. Well, because of you, I now hate religious fanatics, avoid first sons like a plague, and men who are book smart but street dull👩🦯.
Click Here To Follow Us On Twitter
Let’s be fair, for an 18-year-old, I tried, I communicated unlike you who would rather visit your religious book to select words to say to me☹. After dragging both ends of the rope with hopes that when I got into the university, we’ll have a share of freedom to properly love, you still had some hogwash lines reserved for me🥺. “Hey mama! Just have fun, blend with the environment, don’t feel limited to explore”…this was after I asked you if you were still in. What a shame you couldn’t declare your lack of interest boldly🙄. For a fact, I’m thankful you left actually because I surely exploreeeeeeeddddddd and you my love, would have been a burden👩🦯.
Click Here to Stay Updated!!! Join Our Exclusive Telegram Channel / Chatroom
In all, thank you for evoking the writer skills in me🥰. Before I met you, I thought writers descended from space but seeing you write kickstarted my own journey🤗. I still have your writings in my journal.
Dear Tortoise
The one who is very likely mistakened for slow but you are fire😉. Very intelligent and knows a bit about everything. Frankly, I didn’t want to date you😶, I mean how can I date a guy in my department and worse of the same level with me🤢? It was so against my rules but then, you’ve been long into the friend zone and I thought this nigga sure deserves a promotion🤭. I felt the weight of dismay and disappointment in your face when you discovered I was a virgin🙃. If only you could turn back the hands of time right! but too late. Mehn! All the major fights we had was about sex, you couldn’t imagine how it is that someone could be scared of sex😵, what a shame😑, despite all the knowledge you had, you never read of genophobia👩🦯. I regret all the times I cried to sleep because you wouldn’t touch me except it was sex. Trust me, with the way you always glorified sex, you must be foolish to think that I never knew you were cheating the whole time of our almost two years🤧.
“Why do I feel like this is our last conversation?” Nah, you assured me. Said you couldn’t stay any longer but promised we’ll see in the morrow😒. I tried to believe you but a still voice beneath kept yelling; “This is it! This is the last time you’ll see him”. And that was it, you never showed up again😭. I felt insulted reaching out to you with a lengthy note via WhatsApp, and all you responded was “Aiit”🤦♀️. You didn’t even acknowledge me with respect and not abbreviate the word ‘Alright’. What exactly was alright in all I sent you 🥺?
Click Here To Follow Us On Twitter
You never reached out, I was miserable😖. Days turned into weeks and weeks decayed into months yet no words from you😪. I needed closure, I hoped that one day you would call. I was always anxious to pick calls from unsaved numbers hoping it’s you saying hello from the other side😓. But No. Frankly, It would have been better if you were dead because my situation felt like someone who knew not the whereabouts of their loved one and every day they hoped they would come home or better still receive news of their death so they could move on😔.
I wonder, so if I didn’t put a call across after almost two years of ghosting, you wouldn’t have?😏 Well, sweet to know we’ve buried the hatchet and you remain one of my favorite persons🤗. And I also hope you’ve been enjoying all the sex in the world because just maybe that’s the core of your existence.
Hey Chameleon!!
Chameleon because when I feel I have figured you out, you switch to a new color😖. Our relationship was extremely loving yet extremely confusing too; a detrimental polar opposite🤦♀️. We had so much love to give yet hoarded it in ego and replaced it with fervent miscommunication🙇♀️. Gosh!! We argued about everything and became too toxic to stay together yet not bold to leave🙍♀️. You made me reckon with the lines “love is not everything” and I’m grateful I mustered the bravery to say I wasn’t interested anymore🥲. I didn’t do it for just me baby, we needed it. I know you’re still shocked we didn’t end up together, I am sometimes too, and whenever it hits me I say within “You did what was best girl”👩🦯.
How can two grown adults who say they love each other go radio silent on each other for three weeks and to think we even raised the bar a certain time for two months😱!? That was the last straw for me and I remember whispering aloud under my breath “MY MUMU DON DO”🤭. My personality was too strong for you and rather than communicate your displeasure you’d rather look for a way to bruise my ego😔. All the times you said “Uju now, but I was only joking”, I never believed you cause I’m a fan of the saying “people hide under the aegis of jokes to say what they do not have the courage to say normally”. And then everything was always a competition, I got so scared of breaking my good news to you, maybe I always read your gestures wrongly, just maybe… anyway, I hope you’ve found the love you deserve🤗.
DID I OPEN YOUR SCARS TOO?
Still have a bunch of stuff to say but I’ve been getting some mild jabs that my stories are becoming way too long 🤣🤣 so I’ll just continue on Naked Minds. Did any of my exes remind you of yours? Anyway, I decided to make this post an open diary aka a vent room for us to talk about the unsaid stuff we never said to our ex(es)🥲. And No! It’s not just only three guys I’ve dated, I felt so ashamed having to count all my fingers and begun counting all over again when my friend asked during our conversation “But Uju, how many guys you don date self?”… while counting, we both burst into uncontrollable laughter🤣🤣.
Click Here to Stay Updated!!! Join Our Exclusive Telegram Channel / Chatroom
Well, these are the only three I recognize, the rest can face back please😑 …So over to you, I’ll like you to share those unsaid words you wish you could say to your ex(es), doesn’t have to be something lengthy or bad and you don’t have to talk about all of them (one or two is fine) or address them by their real names🐄🐖. Also if you have any reservations concerning any of my exes, feel free to say in the comment🤧. Remember, this is my side to the story, they might have a better or unappealing narrative about me but I really don’t care👩🦯.
Also, do you feel it’s right to still maintain communication with an ex? Let’s talk Mutterers, this should be enlightening and fun😁… leave me your comment👇…and never forget, this is a safe place😝👇👇.
Do not forget to like, rate, and share this article!
Wish to Support With A Token? Click Here
I’ve just given you all premium gist about my love life😂😂😂😂… and please don’t ask me about the dozen I left out in this story. 🤭🤭
Common! Let’s unwind with this one, laugh if you have to and if you think premium tears is best for the nostalgia, feel free 🥲
Remember this is a safe place so, pour your heart out without reservations🤭.
Below is the official flier for this story, be kind to share across your social media accounts. Thank you 💃🏻🕺🏾
Wow Uju, you have a way of writing your experience that makes me feel I’m watching a movie. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 about the prophet one i have a similar experience. He was a Church goer, in my school we had this papa and mama stuff. People who hold church positions are the ones we call. I fell in love with a papa. I can only say it’s God that will punish him for convincing me to use my school fees to support church business. He graduated and left me, during graduation the said miracle didn’t happen. All that “Sow a seed for… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣 your comment is so relatable, I have a papa experience too but noooo, I didn’t give my school fees, we were doing smelly love. Well he’s among the dozen that should face back please 😑.
Makes me look forward to the next story on Naked Minds… I was also going to ask, what do you need a dildo for? 😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂 the first step to knowing is to donate a penny 👩🦯
😂😂😂
Lol. I was going to ask about the dildo too 😂😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣
That meme though. Eat a bag of dicks, just mean🤣🤣🤣
Oh well 👩🦯👩🦯
I can relate to your experience with Chameleon, to date, it still hurts 😔. I think I’m still stuck though, the arguments were not worth it and it makes me think of the bigger picture. So if we now marry, is this how I want to live, arguing and debating what is rubbish. I also thought of domestic violence.
Hmmmmm break ups hurt really. I hope you come through for yourself stronger. Right now, I’ll advise you focus on the silver lining 😘
Yea sure
You did the right thing
I still have sex phobia and because of it, I’ve lost three relationships. The last guy I dated who knew about my struggles. He actually tried to help me get through it. He will always give me links to read about genophobia and other woman issues. We really had it coming great but somewhere along the line, it felt like it wasn’t going away, I was still scared and he broke jp. I accepted it in good faith; I agree with you in the sense that love is not enough. Love couldn’t keep him. It’s been 6 months now so… Read more »
Awwwwww…I feel it’s important that you are on the same page with whoever you’re dating. Also people’s preference change overtime. You can meet a guy who says he wouldn’t mind no sex in a relationship and then three months down the line, he starts to bug you. It could be the other way round too you know.
It’s actually good you took some time off really. I hope you discover you more🤗
Thank you, I am making progress. Good job with Muttering Minds💋
I can relate here.
Dude said no sex before marriage being a churchy kind of guy, I was extremely happy because that was what I wanted being a Virgin. Before I could say Jack Robinson, Dude started bugging me with how it will make him Love me more and bla bla bla……mtcheeew.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 control JAPPPAAA🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️
😂😂😂😂😂
Omo this one na Nigerian feem
Chai u dey write sha. Interesting read from the first word to the last fullstop. In regards to your question about maintaining communication with ur ex. Exes belong in the past and u shouldn’t maintain constant communication or connections with them. Yal broke up for some reason right? Do you keep contact with ur shit in the septic tank ? Do you bother to check on them to see how they’re faring? No I guess. Na so my ex whom we dated for 4years(thru her days in Uni) chat me up over the weekend asking about how I’m doing… I… Read more »
Whaaaatttt…then there’s more to her breaking up with you than just religion 😂😂😂😂…if I were in her shoes, I’ll be so ashamed to let you find out because of the religion thingy. But why do people invite their exes for their wedding? I could never imagine that. Sometimes we think people have moved on but apparently they’re still stuck and even if they’ve really moved on, they just don’t want anything to do with your ass. Imagine a worst case scenario where I invite my ex for my wedding thinking it’s only a harmless gesture and they come out immediately… Read more »
Thanks for the reply. She actually swore back then it was solely because of religion. Lol. I literally saw her thru her uni days. Helped her countless times financially/ academically. I be science student she was studying economics. I remember studying her notes and sitting for an exam that involved calculations on her behalf because she was weak in that aspect risking my admission. She had failed the course twice in the previous years.. I could’ve been expelled if I was caugth. Had some extremely nervy moments in the exam hall that day.lol. Stupid things we do for love right?…… Read more »
Yeah very stupid things we do for love. That bible verse should have added that “love is blind and can be stupid too”…see why there should be an upgrade? 🤷♀️
Well, you played your part in her life already, and it also seem like the relationship was parasitic rather than symbiotic🤭.
Hmmmm ain’t no mofo crashing my wedding 🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 wahala
Depends on the type of ex sha….
I’ve never been in love, so if we were to go by your definition of an ex, being someone you loved, I technically don’t have an ex. I dated a few girls and had a lot of flings, now I no longer date, we just vibe and we start doing “stuffs”. I personally do not see the essence of being in a relationship, to me it’s just another emotional exercise in futility, afterall it will end in tears. with me, those tears are guaranteed to be premium. Not only will it be an extreme sport for a girl to date… Read more »
😂😂😂😂😂 PAIN INDEED!!! You are those type of men who will break up with a lady speaking plenty English and then the lady gets confused, blaming herself for everything. That “It’s really not about you, but me” moment 😂😂😂😂 I feel terrible for the babes who have a fling with you and end up catching feelings…omox 1000000 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I agree with you about partners knowing each other’s sex status. It helps a great deal and as a matter of fact it should be one of the first date questions really. And yes please, I’ll really love to read about your… Read more »
Omg, I used that line. “It’s not you, it’s me’🤣🤣🤣 I also ghosted some girls too, which I now think was an immature and unkind way to end to things. I shouldn’t have done or ended things that way. As for the babes catching feelings, I had quite a few, from the one that said “I love you” mid-sex, to the ones that won’t let me rest and started hounding me with phonecalls to the ones that promoted themselves to girlfriend without being asked out. In fact, I remember a particular case. After our usual genital meet and greet, emotion… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Woooooowwwwww!! You are the definition of a player!!! Whaaaatttttt!!!!!! 😱😱 Every line had my jaw drop. All I can pray for is for you to always find your kind, so that one baby girl won’t cry of heartbreak 😭😭😭
“I love You” should be a case study really 🤣🤣🤣.
Your last paragraph!!!👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
Men like you will eventually fall in love and get your heart broken. I hope you give us the gist when that happens too cause it seems like you are enjoying the life of your head right now 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Fall in love? Yes, Maybe. Get heartbroken? No! You see, I’m never too attached to not be able to let go. Losing someone endearing to me might pain me, but it’s never enough to get me heartbroken, I’m never that emotionally invested, even when I want to, I can’t seem. I’m convinced, my heart is made of stone, so cold like the marble in the middle of a cementary on a winter day. Plus, The restrictions I apply to relationships are quite lax, so though it remains possible for any partner I have to be dishonest, ‘cheating’ as a concept… Read more »
You sound really aware of yourself, I like it!!👌
Trulu he is, I wish I was this sure of my self when it comes fo love especially 🤣🤣🤣🤣
“This above all: to thine own self be true”
A man need not lie to himself. Self awareness is simply being objectively able to evaluate oneself, to observe your thoughts in a non-judgmental way and come to an unbiased conclusion devoid of sentiments.
I’m not a lovey-dovey person, neither am I into sappy shit.
Otherwise will be a lie.
Well said!
I have gigantic feeling I know who this is🤔. He writes like someone I know, words don’t lie cos I can tell without doubts that…
…you’re surely one of my exes😂😂😂
Please don’t come at me. Thank you 😂
👩🦯👩🦯
I’m 100% sure I have never dated any Jules, 60% sure, I’ve never hooked up with one either, maybe 50%, one can’t be too sure.
Nonetheless, Those were undergraduate days of youthful exuberance and raging hormones. Also, your ex gives people who write like me a bad name.
Anyways, There’s something quite feminine about you and your name Jules, which I like, nothing piques my attention like a women that exudes feminine grace.
Hello Jules.
😂😂😂😂 I surely did come here to catch cruise and I just found a co😂 To start with, I was messing with you. I as well have my tales about having a heart so cold like the marble in the middle of a cementary on a winter day, but here’s your spotlight, I ain’t stealing that. SHINE ON BABY. Furthermore, never have I ever dated a stony hearted dude. The ex who was a Merriam-Webster dictionary considered me too exposed for him. Story for another day as the relationship ended in premium praise😌 Referring to “Your ex gives people who… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣🤣 to tell you what, I intend to have a TV show in that regard soon. Not spilling much. Make Jah bless me first 🙈
What’s with people quickly pointing out my nom de plume whenever I make a comment, I could recall one of my comments on here and the author was quick to point out my name, said he wished it was an acronym. “PAIN” just like any other human attribute is not inherently bad, the application and context is what matters. Just like any other human peculiarities ( pride, hatred, jealousy etc), it can be harnessed for good. Infact, now that you’ve point it out, you can take pain from an emotional heartbreak as some form of character development. So in some… Read more »
*clears throat*👩🦯👩🦯
Woow, I read all through and you always making too much sense.
For me, most of my exes left without a word!
Awww glad you enjoyed it 💋💋…as for the exes who left, its good riddance to bad rubbish baby 👩🦯👩🦯
Nobody loves to admit this in public, but I was the cheat😓😓 and I wouldn’t say I regret it. Perhaps I only regret her having such unpleasant memory of me. I confirmed to her that “men are scum”.
Hmmmmmm💔💔… all I can say is shit happens. Not justying cheating in any way but shit does happen. I hope you apologised even though it wouldn’t bring back the love.
And yeah no one likes to admit they were the bad ones, I admire your sincerity😏.
I did, but women can be too hard especially when it comes to that. After much attempt to see if we could still work, we had to split. She stopped trusting me and will chip it in evrry argument.
And men can be too soft?????? 🙄🙄 you all even worse. If I were in her shoes too, I’m not sure I could erase such horrid memory about you 👩🦯👩🦯
🤦♀️🤦♀️
It’s sad and shocking at the same time that I can totally relate to panda, tortoise and chameleon too……..I don’t think I have much to say except to the chameleon in my own love tale,seems I’ve made peace within myself with all others,well cheers to love and to those getting it right…..
Awwww🙈🙈🙈… cheers to love boo🥂🥂
Yessooo definitely!! Tortoise reminds me of my uni days too, relationships were hard mehn!! Cos i was “genophobic” you dare not bring dick close this pussy i fit bite you😂😂… i was scared fam & twas hard too cos i mean some people just wanted to eat the coochie… and then yes i had a chameleon in my life 🙁… the person with my “mumu button” its so obvious to all my friends but the inconsistency from him made me try so hard and made me scared of loving so hard… didn’t even know what was doing me… Its too… Read more »
I’m forced to agree that every lady passed through genophobia at one point in their life. 🤣🤣🤣 you see this so called mumu button, it’s very dangerous and infact should be considered witchcraft 🤣🤣🤣🤣 I just had to let go, I imagined he was a very bad habit.
You just have a way of writing your stories that just give me chills and premium joy like u are a badass writer! Tortoise was the funniest to me tho 😂
Awwww you are too kind Naomi 😄😄… leave Tortoise alone o 🤣🤣🤣
Damn! You are such a fine writer with such a compelling spell bounding storylines prowess. I love how you detach yourself from every toxicity of relationships you have had. You uphold and keep on waving the brighter side of the relationship. Especially, where you mentioned that he bestowed or revealed the talent of writing you never knew existed. I have had mixture of beautiful and sour relationships. But no animosity. No nihilism. No hatred. No Malice afterwards. I am at peace with my self. If anyone,among the exes, invites me to her wedding. I am gonna show up in my… Read more »
😅😅😅 thank you so much for the flattery, I hope to read from you often too💋. Let me confess, I hated Tortoise so much after the ghosting ehn. At every point I thought about him, I would curse him so much and pray bad things happen to him🤣🤣🤣🤣… it got so bad that I will always see him in my dreams 🤣🤣🤣 and in these dreams, I be so angry. I had to tell my pastor about it, he advised me to forgive which I did and began to feel better. Thank God we are good now🙇♀️🙇♀️, for a fact,… Read more »
It’s my favourite writer again this is one of my best stories. So you’ve dated a handful of boys and some men😂😂😂😂 that is so hilarious. Haven’t we all😂. A a very big shout-out to Panda for evoking the writing skills in you. I thank God I’m not the only one that’s against dating someone in the same department that level as me that will be so weird. but thinking about it right now, you started the relationship on the wrong basis because you dated him because you felt like you needed to give him a promotion because he had… Read more »
Awwww Pretty Anon😄😄😄… yeah the mistake I made and will never do again is considering the length of our friendship prior. He was amazing actually just that sex jinx.
Like the saying “show don’t tell”, I want to read all those letters🤣🤣🤣🤣
My first relationship was more like an off and on thing…Uncle would go ghost mood on me then come back and start apologising, making promises yen yen yen…Innocent me that love was catching will agree then before you know he has disappeared again😂😂…while my second relationship said that his mum can’t accept any girl from my tribe…My second breakup really got me though and I battled it alone..I didn’t tell anyone about the breakup because I didn’t want any pity or whatsoever…my friends would ask about him and I’d say he is fine but them nor know wetin dey sup😂😂…las… Read more »
That moment you say “He’s fine” and gulp spit 🤣🤣🤣🤣 especially because complaining to your friends already sounds like a broken record. The funny thing is when we are in love, we don’t see the flaws no matter what truth our friends tell us. I remember breaking up with Chameleon several times and getting back with him again but making it a secret so my friends won’t laugh🙈🙈
It wasn’t an easy one for me back then…As for my first boyfriend I got to find out the reason for his off and on was because he was battling with depression issues when he came back months later begging for another chance. I was like why didn’t you say anything. He still disturbs me till now but ogbeni your time has passed.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 while I want to believe he was depressed, something in me tells me it’s emotional blackmail. Typical Chameleon style 🤣🤣🤣…nigga always overflogged that he was carrying the weight of the world. Ogbeni do I look like I have it all rosy?
😭😭😭 this is so me too. Make up and keep it a secret.
We should have a WhatsApp group 🤣🤣🤣🤣
🙈🙈
Dear Stranger Today I can confidently call you a stranger, you led me on for quite sometime and after I was deep in love you shocked me with a statement of having another girlfriend, I accepted whatever you served me without complaining because I thought you were my forever, I never complained neither did I demand anything. Fast forward I fell pregnant with our son, and unfortunately my son was still born and I remember the cold treatment you gave me that Friday when I was discharged from hospital and you never called or texted to see how I was… Read more »
😓😓😓 tried to hold back tears while reading this. It’s obviously hard to forget that phase of your life, but I take solace in you being happy now. Stay cheered up Angel Mummy… better days ahead too ❤
🤦♀️🤦♀️ it is well. You dodged a bullet sis, imagine getting married to a cold hearted motherfucker. Thank God❤❤
I agree❤
❤❤
I reserve my comment. 😜
👩🦯👩🦯
Interesting read but I no get ex and nothing to say, except thank God I didn’t get into a relationship with Wavy(Chidinma, Favour) yes! Those are her names.
I didn’t really trust being with her but I wanted to try just because I love her which is something I barely feel but after confirming her interests severally she came with some story about being emotionally unstable.
Mehn bye, it’s not my loss.😡😡😡 Just to mention I barely use this emoji, so I’m really pissed
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 no time for epileptic power supply, you are either stable or STABLE👌
You understand na.
Love is indeed funny, so funny that it makes me laugh everytime I feel like I’ve found it. Love is a scam, but surely, we will continually get scammed finna forever cos we love love😂 I’ve long been looking for an avenue to vent about my exes. Thank you Muttering Minds for this rare privilege, I’m also going to ask that you pardon the length of this. BEGINNING FROM MY MOST RECENT EX, I’LL CATEGORISE HIM AS A TORTOISE AND MAYBE WORSE. Nigga disappeared on me when I was placed on life support at the hospital (he didn’t know this… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣🤣 @E go Be🤣🤣🤣🤣… but wait a minute!! Cannula?? 😨😨 I can never do that for any man, not even my husband😑. You better travel down for me otherwise we will both be looking at each other. 🤣🤣🤣🤣 so you are one of those who design portrait for bae🤣🤣🤣… let me guess, did you do surprise surprise with trumpet? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣…I’m sure you had this planned for his next birthday but unfortunately baba became an ogbanje. Well about your present, so you mean to say quarrelling turns you on? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣… you are a case study😭😭😭 anyway it’s typical feminine although I… Read more »
Omooooooo×1000000😂😂😂 There are levels of mumurism, and I did hit the pro level in that relationship consciously. I was overwhelmed by that. Like wow! Jules how?!😂 But you see ehn, as ladies, we know when it’s time to move on, we just sometimes try to convince ourselves he’s better and will be better. Ain’t doing that shit anymore. Naaa, times up! And oh! I almost got married to a Charmeleon 😭😭😭 This one didn’t want kids at all and it happened that I figured it out 2yrs into the relationship, few months before we’d say “I Do” Did I get… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣🤣 hmmmmmm… you see this “not wanting kids” issue, one day we will visit it proper. Thank God you stood for what you wanted rather than allow love cloud your judgement. You are so hilarious Jules 🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
My dear I don’t want to father and mother my children when the nigga is still my husband and alive. Life is stressful enough Biko.
I’m glad I could make you laugh😘
You’re quite a SPEC cos I read this three times.
👩🦯👩🦯
So to EX 1. I know I could have mentioned it straight but I mirrored my parents relationship and since we were same age, plus being a church boy, I was clueless. I’m SORRY. You’re a Queen, note that! And to Ex 2. Wonderful personality but the few times I saw you react in anger I was scared, I’ve still not recovered from those episodes. Thought you’d reduce to conversations when angry, I couldn’t succeed in getting you to just take conflict resolution easy. To EX 3. The one who broke my heart into many pieces, or I should say… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 just when I thought you were being remorseful with your last sentence and boom!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I laughed at your comment on Ex 2 and I found myself saying ‘E SHOCK YOU?!’ 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m sure you were one of those guys who thought your heart could never be broken until EX 3 came along 🤣🤣🤣… so sorry…but I’m curious, what were her exact words over the phone? You never know it could help someone reading 🏃♀️🏃♀️
Lolz, she had a date chosen for her wedding in a few days and just said, it’s over, stating that she was no more interested.
And let me guess, you saw pictures?😨😨
Hey babe. Your beautiful piece is multifaceted which is part of your enviable qualities. However, I love to comment on the concept of love from your perspective, it is almost the general perspective anyway. Many of us ignore the importance of SEMANTICS when we talk about Love, which affect our expectations and outcome from relationships. What we have in our relationships are not really love but mere attractions, affections and/or infatuation which triggers passionate desires to have passionate desire for someone or something. These of course are not love even though they are synonymous. At 18, you were attracted to… Read more »
🙈🙈🙈 I agree with most of all you wrote. Panda was a mere crush that should have been left at that but we ventured into a relationship. I thank God for that too, otherwise I wouldn’t have discovered certain pertinent areas of my personality.
Thank you King and next time, you can write even longer epistles without having to be apologetic about it. I always love to hear all that’s on your mind ❤❤.
Nice stories. This column should be called ” letter to all the boys i’v loved” just kidding though. One story sounded similar for me. Her name was Uju, she was in my department, and we ended the relationship by ghosting each other. Even though i know now that it was my fault, my pride got the better of me. No one knows what tomorrow holds so my take is to enjoy the relationship while it lasts. If it works out , fine. If not, ….
🤣🤣🤣🤣 you know I thought of that title but I could get sued for plagiarising the movie title. And why is her name UjU? 😓😓 seems you men enjoy breaking our hearts.
Well it gets to a point in our lives where we give anything to make it work rather than que sera sera😄
I agree you could get sued. (We dont) scratch that… I don’t enjoy breaking hearts. Most times we get into relationships with too much hope and enthusiasm or let me say expectation. Along the line we discover the differences in boh individuals and begin to struggle to manage these differences. For que sera sera, i would still insist on an open mind when entering into a relationship. That way, one doesn’t get the full weight of the separation. Finally, maybe those who bear Uju enjoy breaking hearts too😂😂. Just Kidding …(then i recalled where you wrote that people say what… Read more »
🤣🤣🤣🤣 so I take it that’s not a joke then. Going into a relationship with a free spirit may not let one love as they should though. We want 100% commitment 😂😂
It is truly a joke😀😀I have only dated one Uju so making that pronunciation would be hasty. I don’t think one needs a ton of love to sustain a relationship. I believe understanding is outweighs love. You only need enough to get you into the relationship. Understanding keeps you there. With an open mind you learn and that is the only way you get to understand. Btw its just my opinion
😄😄😄 Roger that! You are a love professor so I believe you 😅
Can’t relate… Never had an ex before…
These are the ones that fall in love and marry immediately. Unlike us, several turns to miss 😭😭
Well… We hope so
👩🦯👩🦯
Juz wanna tell u (if it’s possible no one else has) that your writing style is unique.
😅😅😅 thank you sooooooo muchhhhhh💋
Haha 😂 I’m pushed to ask how many Exes are left for you to tell mutterers about… 7 or perhaps 10? I don burst laugh tire.. Big five to the ex who unleashed your writing prowess!! Shekere for him! For me, I can’t even pinpoint the category my ex could fall into. 🤔 let me call him ‘tortoise’ Guy thought he was smart but I was smarter. Each of his move, I was always a step ahead. Actually, he was smart but his smartness met another which was quite higher than his. I thought I had found my dream guy… Read more »
😂😂😂😂😂 my list is my little secret. Maybe he was a Tortoise and and were a fox 😂😂😂… faster than his every move.
Glad I could make you laugh girllllll💋
🤣🤣 yeah fox!! That’s right or hyena 😜
🥰🥰
Yeah right 😂😂
LOL. I want to rant too. Can i?
Ooo absolutely 😄
Hey Chicken, Oh, I’m sorry. Can I call you chicken? 😒 No? Oh c’mon. Yes. Because that’s what you are! You went over board Chicken. You basically ran away and shut me out for a reason I still didn’t think had much weight. 😂 Man you blocked me everywhere. Ko necessary na. 😂😂 my foolish sisters still laugh at me when they remember. This is like forever ago; I’ve moved on and the only reason I responded to your chat that day was because I pitied you. You have the wrong definition of happiness; I understand that living out of… Read more »
Reading each lines and just when I want to feel sad, you had a way of making me laugh through this 🤣🤣🤣. What a chicken! I’ll forever emphasise communication is key in a relationship. The flying overseas part also made me recall someone who I am very concerned about. He has this dream that only going overseas can bring him happiness. He hasn’t even finished finding happiness with himself here. Not sure if it’s similar to yours though but I just needed to chip this in😄. @ talmbout you should have waited 🤣🤣🤣🤣 lori iro🤣🤣🤣🤣 waited as what now??? That… Read more »